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With each passing day I find it harder and harder to understand why anyone would actually want to live
- Thread starter Kinsei
- Start date
The world has always been cruel, chaotic, and unfair, but that makes it all the more amazing that we can find beauty and meaning within it.
You are not the world, you are a single human being. You cannot fix everything that ails the world, nor should you feel obligated to. You can, however, connect with other people, art, music, etc that were shaped by this crazy world and find meaning in that.
Shrink your focus. Put away the news, put away the internet, put away your phone. Go for a long walk and observe little things along the way. Ground yourself in your present environment. That's where you exist, and that's where you can find meaning.
You are not the world, you are a single human being. You cannot fix everything that ails the world, nor should you feel obligated to. You can, however, connect with other people, art, music, etc that were shaped by this crazy world and find meaning in that.
Shrink your focus. Put away the news, put away the internet, put away your phone. Go for a long walk and observe little things along the way. Ground yourself in your present environment. That's where you exist, and that's where you can find meaning.
What? Yes you can. People should be spending time outside to help with the mental fatigue of the lockdown
Really? AFAIK almost everywhere that's on lockdown allows going outside for solo exercise, like walks.
Unless they live in a place with a complete lockdown you can still walk around your neighborhood.
you can walk around outside...
have people actually been staying indoors this past month or so?
USA
1-800-273-8255
Anyone who is depressed, going through a hard time, needs to talk, or is thinking about suicide can use the chat. The chat counselors are there to listen and support you through whatever difficult times you may be facing.
CANADA
If you need support, call us now at our toll free number 1.833.456.4566. We are available 24x7x365. You will not incur long distance charges for your call. We offer support to anyone concerned about suicide. Whether you are suffering from a loss, worried about someone who may be having suicidal thoughts, or having suicidal thoughts yourself, our highly trained responders are there to provide support. Talking about suicide can open the door for effective dialogue about the intense emotional pain and can enable someone to see what steps need to be taken to ensure safety, whether it's your own or the safety of someone you care about. Connecting with someone about your suicidal thoughts is life-saving.
1-800-273-8255
Anyone who is depressed, going through a hard time, needs to talk, or is thinking about suicide can use the chat. The chat counselors are there to listen and support you through whatever difficult times you may be facing.
CANADA
If you need support, call us now at our toll free number 1.833.456.4566. We are available 24x7x365. You will not incur long distance charges for your call. We offer support to anyone concerned about suicide. Whether you are suffering from a loss, worried about someone who may be having suicidal thoughts, or having suicidal thoughts yourself, our highly trained responders are there to provide support. Talking about suicide can open the door for effective dialogue about the intense emotional pain and can enable someone to see what steps need to be taken to ensure safety, whether it's your own or the safety of someone you care about. Connecting with someone about your suicidal thoughts is life-saving.
the goal is to social distance, which doesnt mean you need imprison yourself inside your home.
There is good in the world. It may be hard to see through all the shit sometimes but it is there.
I too have had thoughts of suicide in the past. Daily thoughts of suicide actually. I've taken antidepressants for over a decade now.
Yes. There are untold horrors in the world. Outrageous, heartbreaking injustices too. Not gonna bother listing them, ya'll know enough.
Those are the cards we, the people, have been dealt, just as like many other animals. We live, we laugh, we cry, we enjoy, we suffer, we die.
If you're lucky, you'll laugh more and cry less than most people. That's it. That's as good as it gets. Most people are in denial about this and wish very hard for an eternal paradise afterwards, because the deal they've gotten feels cruel and unacceptable to them. Many will tell them sweet lies while they prey on them.
On the plus side, there is a lot of love out there, and a ton of beauty too. We have music, and jokes, and hugs and stories and we have made countless wonders. We're in a forum about one of those wonders right now.
I've been trying to optimize my life to increase the good feelings and decrease the bad. It's a tough balancing act between short term and long term gratification and I fail often.
Hang in there Kinsei .
Not if you're shielded you can't. My government has advised me through my GP that I'm not allowed to go out even for a walk for three months
You should read about stoicism. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius or something. You can't control the world, but you can control your focus and daily habits.
If you're giving yourself hours a day to sit around and ruminate on how awful the world is, maybe don't. Stay off the internet, don't watch the news. Your brain is primed to latch onto anything that will fuel your negative outlook. It's a nasty form of confirmation bias, and it's not healthy.
Walk around more, pick up some kind of vigorous physical activity, and also pick up a hobby that requires long periods of mental concentration.
Also maybe read The Power of Now, and learn about mindfulness, which is basically the practice of shutting off the agitated train of thought that's probably chattering inside your brain all the time. Reason is a gift, but our minds can torment us if we don't learn how to direct our attention.
If you're giving yourself hours a day to sit around and ruminate on how awful the world is, maybe don't. Stay off the internet, don't watch the news. Your brain is primed to latch onto anything that will fuel your negative outlook. It's a nasty form of confirmation bias, and it's not healthy.
Walk around more, pick up some kind of vigorous physical activity, and also pick up a hobby that requires long periods of mental concentration.
Also maybe read The Power of Now, and learn about mindfulness, which is basically the practice of shutting off the agitated train of thought that's probably chattering inside your brain all the time. Reason is a gift, but our minds can torment us if we don't learn how to direct our attention.
Hang in there mate. I was at that place 3 years ago.
Try to appreciate the little things in life.
What kept me from doing it is that I don't want might miss out things I enjoy.
There too many music to listen,movies to watch, books to read, games to play and more activities to do.
Try to appreciate the little things in life.
What kept me from doing it is that I don't want might miss out things I enjoy.
There too many music to listen,movies to watch, books to read, games to play and more activities to do.
The best advice my therapist gave to me, was to excuse yourself from the constant negativity surrounding the 24 hour news cycle. I'm sorry you are struggling, try to find joy in the smaller things, we can't control what happens in the world, but we can control what happens in our little corner. Go for a walk, hug a dog etc.
Family and friends really. The world is trash but I love my family and the great friends I've made along this crazy ride. All I focus on right now is trying to stay in good health, staying employed, keeping my relationships intact, and saving for retirement. I've honestly stopped giving a fuck about the world at large. Stopped in 2016 and that existential despair only deepened when the GOP at large pretty much wholesale gave the green light on open corruption earlier this year.
Looking for good guys on the world stage is a losing battle. You'll find them closer to home, though. And in far greater numbers than you'd think.
This isn't a new trend, either - it's been this way for centuries. The good is in the smaller places and the smaller deeds.
This isn't a new trend, either - it's been this way for centuries. The good is in the smaller places and the smaller deeds.
Honestly OP i think it might be for the best to avoid OT here at least during this election year. It's going to be really rough and nasty the rest of the year.
Cheeseburgers with siracha mayo and a pepper fried egg on top. That's reason enough for me.
What I'm saying is it is the small things that make the difference in life. My old friend used to tell me, always take care of the little things cause the big things take care of itself.
I live for the little things. Those moment are my everyday miracles that keep me sane and happy just to breathe.
What I'm saying is it is the small things that make the difference in life. My old friend used to tell me, always take care of the little things cause the big things take care of itself.
I live for the little things. Those moment are my everyday miracles that keep me sane and happy just to breathe.
Yes :( because the weather has been awful most days- cold, snow or rain with a few good days thrown in once in a while. We have been below our average temperature almost the entire second half of April.
No BS, life on this planet is horrible for the non-privileged. Human beings are shit and the vast majority of them are, no matter what they pretend, only looking out for themselves.
That said, there do seem to be isolated individuals who have genuinely good hearts and actually practice the concepts of empathy, compassion, and charity. It is these folks that you should look to for motivation to live. In my case, this is my bestie, whom is the only person I've ever been close to whom hasn't eventually kicked me out of their life. Through thick and thin, she's stuck by me. She may be a "difficult" person, in many ways. (How many truly empathetic folks haven't been badly bullied and abused to the point of damage, though?) At the end of the day, after the fair-weather "friends" have all conveniently ducked out, she's always there for me.
So even if I agree that life isn't worth living for myself (it really isn't), I live for her because she deserves to have her best friend in her life.
That said, there do seem to be isolated individuals who have genuinely good hearts and actually practice the concepts of empathy, compassion, and charity. It is these folks that you should look to for motivation to live. In my case, this is my bestie, whom is the only person I've ever been close to whom hasn't eventually kicked me out of their life. Through thick and thin, she's stuck by me. She may be a "difficult" person, in many ways. (How many truly empathetic folks haven't been badly bullied and abused to the point of damage, though?) At the end of the day, after the fair-weather "friends" have all conveniently ducked out, she's always there for me.
So even if I agree that life isn't worth living for myself (it really isn't), I live for her because she deserves to have her best friend in her life.
Hang in there.
I try not to stress myself out on things that I can't influence.
Just try to focus on yourself.
I try not to stress myself out on things that I can't influence.
Just try to focus on yourself.
I feel you OP. Everyone busies themselves with distractions and denial saying over and over to themselves that being alive is a great thing to be. We all are just trying to not notice how horrible it is, have our own little bubble of comfort, and not pay attention to our impending deaths as time is constant and there is nothing you can do about it. It's just part of the human experience. You get spat out, fed fairy tales, placed in a box, expected to reproduce and then die. It's just what human life is. Everything anyone ever wants or does is a distraction from their impending death. I don't suggest killing yourself though as look - I just typed this out as a distraction to my own. It's a conundrum of existential dread. Try and stay safe and comfortable, find things you enjoy to do, don't reproduce if you think living is not a great thing and do no harm, to others or yourself.
You are absolutely 100% correct. I've been thinking the same for a very long time. When you think about it, for some people, living is suffering. Every second they continue to live, they endure the never ending pain. For some people, life is never worth living. If you happened to be really poor and became homeless, there's a chance that you will never really make it out and will probably die alone, starving. And this happens, everyday. Likewise, if you happened to live in a war torn country where the threat of death is always looming over your head and have lost all your family with no one to help you, what reason is there to live any more? You never know when a drone strike could land on you and kill you. Or someone captured as a POW who is tortured every single day of their life, until his very last breath. No one wants their very existence to be an endless source of pain and suffering.
And the people responsible for it are often never brought to justice. They live a comfortable life and die comfortably too. I have realized a long time ago that there is no justice in this world. Maybe there's a slight chance that there will be justice after this world ends but I really, really doubt it. If there is a god then he is a shitty, negligent, sadistic god who allows, even enjoys, all this suffering that happens. A god like that isn't worth worshipping anyway.
And the people responsible for it are often never brought to justice. They live a comfortable life and die comfortably too. I have realized a long time ago that there is no justice in this world. Maybe there's a slight chance that there will be justice after this world ends but I really, really doubt it. If there is a god then he is a shitty, negligent, sadistic god who allows, even enjoys, all this suffering that happens. A god like that isn't worth worshipping anyway.
Yes, it is really hard. Since I like astronomy, sometimes it helps to watch videos about the solar system or just think about how insignificant we truly are. It's a bandaid I know, but it kinda helps me forget about all the bullshit that exists in this human-run world.
OK, so let's put this in perspective for you
Say you're a human 1,000 years ago.
From birth, your life would literally be second-by-second violent chaos. Chances are you'd watch your siblings and/or parents die in your first years of life, probably in agony and violence. Your childhood would be full of pure, agonising hunger, pain and violence with no stability or sense of "the future". You'd exist only in an uncomfortable or actively unpleasant present. In any given month or year, invaders could appear who would destroy your home and steal from your family, taking all your prized and personal possessions, and probably rape or dismember you and maybe kill you - or drag you along as an under-fed prisoner. You probably wouldn't live to 10, let alone 20 or 30 - you probably wouldn't even survive your first hours after birth. Every single human's worldview was completely and totally subsumed in acts of God, and religion, and following arcane and often heinous rites and rituals, entirely because nobody could fucking understand anything. What is the sun? What is wind? What the fuck is the ocean? "All I know is I have to survive and I'll probably have to kill someone to do it."
Say you're a human in 1944.
Even though life is completely different to the above and much improved, you're living in constant fear. A malevolent force has swept across much of the world and wishes to enslave half of humanity and kill the other half in search of "purity". You will live every day in anxiety your nation's efforts would fail and this force would sweep across your town and home and friends and family's lives in a matter of months. You'd be hearing about the development of weapons which can literally destroy cities, if not countries. You'd be sitting there reading in the paper about how the US have developed an unprecedented weapon and might deploy it on Germany or Japan or northern Africa, wiping out millions of people in the blink of an eye. You'd be watching the entire planet stew in a massive cocktail of interconnected violence.
Just remember this. Remember the present is good.
Remember history, and how much worse everything was in the past.
Yes, there is tons of evil in the world. Yes, many things are still bad and we still face big catastrophes and unprecedented problems.
But remember that where we are now, in the 21st century, is fucking heaven compared to 99.99% of human history to-date. From 30,000 BC to 1800-1950, the entire world was just in violent, horrific, unruly chaos, pretty much at all times. Even today, large chunks of the world are like this, but nothing compared to pre-20th century. The internet and mobile phones are sweeping across under-educated and detached countries and communities, accelerating education and collaboration and community. Diseases are being controlled. Science is gradually uncovering answers to mysteries and problems that have plagued human civilisation since its earliest days.
WE have made things better for ourselves to an unprecedented extent. We have eradicated diseases, improved quality of life world-wide, worked out how to have conversations simultaneously on opposite sides of the globe. Anything is possible.
Historians generally describe historic human life as being such a completely alien, chaotic experience compared to modern life that we just can't fathom what it would be like. Just remember that.
Even in those places, things are better than ever, and justice does exist even if it's overwhelmed by injustice on a personal level.
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All of that knowledge can coexist with appreciating life and finding meaning and beauty. That's the basis of 20th century existentialist philosophy - Camus, Sartre, Beauvoir, etc. Camus's Dilemma of the Absurd deals directly with this (look it up).
We are all terrified of the finite and fragile nature of existence. Denial is a dead end. The best path forward is fully accepting the reality and going through the final loss of innocence that it entails. It isn't easy, but on the other side there are many fulfilling lives to be lived.
im constantly circling the drain myself and just waiting for the next particularly shitty thing to happen
We are Jack, and like many before us, we find ourselves alone at sea. We have an Atlas that kindly asks to explore the world. We can't help but think how beautiful it would be, if no-one was hooked on Adam or Eve. We meet big daddies and little sisters along the way. We ignore some, we fight some and we help some.
Jack knows there mustn't be a burial at sea, when he can choose from more lighthouses with unopened doors, than there are grains of sand on the beaches of the world.
Jack knows there mustn't be a burial at sea, when he can choose from more lighthouses with unopened doors, than there are grains of sand on the beaches of the world.
Well said, I cannot fathom how someone can look at history and think "Wow they had it good back then!" It is an utter insult to the billions of souls who have died in agony.
Life for people is only getting better and better. Yes, if you spend the majority of your day looking at Era off-topic or the news things must seem horrible, because that's what they want you to believe. But things only get better.
You should think about things you enjoy about life and look into a therapist.
My advice is to get off social media and log out of Era for a while, turn off the news, and go for a nice walk outdoors. The world is a better place than it was in the past, but negative news gathers more attention than the stories of people doing good in their communities. Try not to let what's happening now dissuade you from staying alive.
I've felt like this before, too. Reducing time spent on social media (Twitter, Reddit, Resetera) might do a lot to help you. You don't need to be "informed" at the cost of your mental health. Spend the next few weeks away from all that stuff and tell us if you noticed any differences
100% this. Step out the bubble my friend. It can drag you down.
Remember, social media is designed to fuck with your emotions. It's healthy to take a break from the noise...
This is a great post and pretty much my way of thinking. I used to be very much like you Kinsei . I get it. After a while I just started focusing on the good, the things I enjoy, things I Look forward to. I even like it if i can make someone's day at work or wherever. It's not perfect, but it helps me get through the daily grind.