you probably went down the wrong path when you're figuring out what the best way to hit a kid without leaving a mark is
-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
Why is it acceptable to spank your child in public but...
- Thread starter sensui-tomo
- Start date
- Status
you probably went down the wrong path when you're figuring out what the best way to hit a kid without leaving a mark is
No it wouldn't, factually. It's been researched to death, it's NEVER good, it does damage to the childs development. So many abusive parents think exactly the way you're thinking. It's extremely troubling.
Some adults are assholes why can't we smack them?
Is it at all possible those kids are assholes because they are in such an important stage in their emotional and mental development and the adult in their life is smacking them?
"I don't have kids and don't want them" is the first good thing you've said here.
You've also flip flopped on your wording. You started with "ass whooping" and have moved goal posts to smack around once in a while. Again beating this to death, but your beliefs are despicable.
It's not OK. You are wrong. There is lots of empirical evidence that states this. There is no benefit to being slapped by a parent, it only causes harm to children.
I'm not saying it's a good and reasonable behavior, don't get me wrong.
If parents are hitting their kids all the time that's definitely fucked up and they should get their kids taken away.
My point was, as a one time thing that happens, for whatever reason you can think of, I don't see it as this godawful inhuman act that should be punishable by death like some make it here.
Another thing, which is very important, is how old your child is.
Under a certain age hitting them is definitely abuse no matter how you look at it.
Ahhh here it comes. Just let it all out and quit pussy footing.
Wow that's completely irrelevant to what I said..... I'm talking about people who have never put their preaching to the test are talking about how others should raise their kids. It's a no brainer that a situation like this is child abuse. I even stated that I'm against this situation in my first post.
Wtf is going on in here? If you dont have kids and dont want kids, and you find yourself holding the opinion that hitting kids is o.k., you need to back the fuck out of this topic. If you do have kids or want them and you think it is o.k. to hit them, then you need to reconsider your position, read some studies and talk to some abuse victims to get a better understanding of shit.
The world is filled with cowardly shit heads, as evidenced by this thread.
Definitely don't have children if your view of bad behavior is because they are an 'asshole' and not because they are still developing, inexperienced and don't have the emotional capacity to handle every new or different experience that comes their way. It says everything about the person who sees physical abuse as the only way to teach or correct issues with a child.
Truly a disturbing post knowing how common this thought process is and it should not be coddled or legitimized on here.
Who said it should be punishable by death? Not me, I don't even believe in the death penalty. That's a complete strawman you've concocted. Do you want me to say that otherwise good parents have sometimes made mistakes and struck their children? OK, I will easily say that. Doesn't change the fact that striking your child is an abusive behavior and wrong.
It's not irrelevant, you tried to claim that people who are against parents using physical punishment have no experience dealing with children or understanding of child development or behavior...and the opposite is true, most people who have that experience and knowledge agree that it is abusive behavior.
I like how people are trying to defend behavior of parents who hit their kids. Because nothing says 'responsible parent' like thinking "well I could scold my kid and treat him like a person, or I could beat them until they stop". I can't imagine why these kids are acting out, it definitely couldn't be because the people who run their lives that they're told to practically worship are slapping the shit out of them.
People are shocked when I tell them I have no respect for my parents even when I tell them I was beat basically until I moved out. They always say "yeah but they're your family, you gotta forgive them". Fuck that. If your idea of how to raise a kid is to hit them instead of talking to them, you should have your kids taken away.
People are shocked when I tell them I have no respect for my parents even when I tell them I was beat basically until I moved out. They always say "yeah but they're your family, you gotta forgive them". Fuck that. If your idea of how to raise a kid is to hit them instead of talking to them, you should have your kids taken away.
Worked with children for over 15 years.
Kids with autism and ADHD especially.
I would never fucking lay hands on one of my pupils and would call the damn cops on anyone who raises their hand to a kid.
The idea that beating on kids is a good way to make them behave has been scientifically debunked. Any kid who is calling their parents names is a kid whose parents have failed them.
It's the parent's job to raise the kids to be good people. If they fail at that, it doesn't then give them the right to start swinging. That is a disgustingly ignorant point of view and if you really feel that way please do not ever procreate. Physically abusing children just fucks them up mentally and emotionally and more often than not turns them into abusers in their own right when they have kids of their own.
ftfy
When my kids were little we did time-outs and then later on taking stuff away. Both were very effective. They're well-behaved teens now so anymore it's more like, "The fuck were you thinking?" on occasion.
Corporal punishment doesn't seem to work and just causes more harm than good. What do parents do when punishment such as time out, taking things away, or making them do extra chores doesn't work? I imagine taking away things very important to kids works in general like no consoles, cell phones, etc and no hanging out with friends. But there are kids who don't respond to that at all and still act out without caring about the consequences to themselves or others. And some kids become bullies with sociopath tendencies which the parents and school don't want to acknowledge at all, although I wouldn't be surprised if many bullies come from homes with physical and/or mental abuse by the parents.
These threads are never not a parade of stupid rationalisations for using assault and battery against people who are smaller, weaker and less intellectually and emotionally developed then oneself.
It really pisses me off that these advocates for barbarism regularly claim that those who oppose the violent treatment of children don't have children themselves. Well I do, as a matter of fact. My kids are now in their thirties, and I'm saying "don't assault your kids."
You were doing okay up to "in the face." Don't strike anybody anywhere unless they're a consenting adult and you have a mutually agreed safeword or other expressly stated limits agreed in advance.
It really pisses me off that these advocates for barbarism regularly claim that those who oppose the violent treatment of children don't have children themselves. Well I do, as a matter of fact. My kids are now in their thirties, and I'm saying "don't assault your kids."
You were doing okay up to "in the face." Don't strike anybody anywhere unless they're a consenting adult and you have a mutually agreed safeword or other expressly stated limits agreed in advance.
Soap in the mouth, yes. Happened so often, I started blowing bubbles and liking it. About the time they stopped lol
Edit* I was a real brat and I knew it. I couldn't even stop myself, so props to my parents for trying. Learned how to blow bubbles with soap as a trick now. Nice.
..or we could not make 'abuse' a race to the bottom where we tiptoe around using the term because there's worse examples out there.
If I slap my partner occasionally to discipline her I am being abusive, I do not need to hit a certain figure for doing so in a month for that to remain true.
I've never seen someone hit their kid in public. Do you live around a bunch of rednecks or something
Yes, but we're talking about arguments in favour of hitting children. Not those other things.
Yup, the presence of some abusive behavior doesn't mean going scorched earth on everyone. Removing children from their parents is also abusive, which is why it isn't done unless absolutely necessary.
Terribly, painfully, in anger and in cold blood, with love and with spite, by parents and teachers. By the age of 10 I knew this didn't help. By the age of 15 I had a burning contempt for those who would bully and hurt those smaller than themselves.
The big secret of childrearing is that just because you're the parent doesn't make you right. If you discuss matters with your children, arguing things out, often quite robustly, you end up respecting your child and your child ends up respecting you for your honesty and consistency and your willingness to bow to a superior argument. In return, the child learns to lose an argument with equal grace.
It creates a trusting dynamic within the family. Nobody needs to get hurt, nobody needs to be punished. You learn to apologise for hurting your child, even unknowingly, and the child learns how to be a decent adult.
What you saw is not socially acceptable. A public spank across the bottom is one thing, that's going to be widely tolerated or encouraged here in the US, but a slap to the face, eh, that's not going to fly. I sympathize with the position you were in. Maybe a call to the police but that's no guarantee? Corporal punishment laws in most states leave room for interpretation, and what you saw may have been lawful?
You were in a tough spot.
Doesn't matter if you were a brat and knew it, it's not the right way to respond. It was more accepted back then, but hopefully you don't try to use this method giong forward.
Hitting people is bad.
Many people do it because they genuinely think that it's a good idea, but some people do it only because they don't really have the energy/ressources to deal with [whatever they have to deal with at that moment] in any other way.
It's still a regrettable thing then of course.
Many people do it because they genuinely think that it's a good idea, but some people do it only because they don't really have the energy/ressources to deal with [whatever they have to deal with at that moment] in any other way.
It's still a regrettable thing then of course.
I figured this was gonna come off the wrong way to some. But txt thru the internet and all that.
I know it's not right, I applaud my parents for being so patient with me (and my twin brother).
I would never do anything similar, personally. Was mostly trying to lighten the mood here.
P.S.A.: Don't strike yr children! (Or use soap - it tastes like...soap.)
Ya know for a lot of people here advocating beating up kids, I actually feel like bringing up the fact I've seen this happen in public frequently and it seldom works in making a kid behave. If a kid is already having emotional issues, why in the name of god do you all seem to think physically hurting them will somehow fix that?
Another reminder that we have mountains of evidence proving that corporal punishment has no positive effects and many, many negative ones
I think I've mentioned this before, but until recently I always took "wash your mouth out with soap" as a weird metaphor. I'd no idea until very recently that this was an actual punishment enacted on some children. I know soap tastes horrible so I can only imagine the effects of an adult deliberately raising a lather in some unfortunate child's mouth. I still find the notion quite beyond understanding.
I wouldn't shut the hell up, like, on purpose. For attention I guess.
I feel bad - looking back. It makes sense in a rationaless moment of anger, devoid of thought and empathy. Not the worst option, all things considered, and of course should never be done.
I forgive 'em, obviously only 'cause I can rationalize their irrationalization. I'm not advocating for any kind of child abuse here. Personal anecdote and experience I'd just like to get off my chest.
You sound like a great parent from what I've been reading, btw, nice work, stranger!
I think the soap thing was used in cartoons, TV shows and stuff. Shown pretty explicitly. I'm thinking Ren & Stimpy off the top of my head.
I'm glad both me and my wife are on the don't hit your fucking kid train.
Defending spanking is like some climate change denial or anti-vaxer shit. Research shows it doesn't work.
In my anecdotal experience growing up, too, every asshole fucking bully and shitty kid I knew had parents that hit them. Every. One.
Defending spanking is like some climate change denial or anti-vaxer shit. Research shows it doesn't work.
In my anecdotal experience growing up, too, every asshole fucking bully and shitty kid I knew had parents that hit them. Every. One.
- Status