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Who would win in a fight: Achilles (Troy 2004) or Geralt (Netflix Witcher series)?

  • Achilles

    Votes: 123 24.7%
  • Geralt

    Votes: 327 65.7%
  • Tie

    Votes: 3 0.6%
  • ...Fuck.

    Votes: 45 9.0%

  • Total voters
    498
Mar 10, 2018
8,708
Sorry if I'm annoying anyone with another one of these vs. threads, but this particular matchup has been on my mind for quite a while.

Seeing the fighting style of Henry Cavill's Geralt of Rivia in the first episode of the Netflix Witcher series just reminds me so much of the way Brad Pitt's Achilles fights in the film Troy.

If these two were to go toe to toe... Who do you think would win?

The demigod...

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...Or the White Wolf?

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All respective abilities included - so long as they're confined to those displayed in the movie/show.

Thoughts?
 

subpar spatula

Refuses to Wash his Ass
Member
Oct 26, 2017
22,065
It really depends how Achilles deals with Geralt's magic. It's basically a coin flip if it's movie Achille's versus Geralt cause Geralt takes some blows from people Achilles would dominate.

If it was book Achilles then Geralt would die in the first strike.
 

Siggy-P

Avenger
Mar 18, 2018
11,865
Achilles cus they make a point in the films opening that he fights quick and efficiently while Geralt does his littles spins and stuff that would get him killed in a realistic swordfight.

People can stab much faster than someone can do a spin.
 

timedesk

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,937
I mean didn't that version of the movie remove all elements of the supernatural? So Achilles was not invulnerable, just a really talented warrior. I have to imagine he would get absolutely wrecked by Geralt who actually is magically augmented and can use some magic as well.

If you take the version of Achilles that didn't remove all presence of the actual Greek Gods, then it becomes a much more interesting fight. Geralt could probably lose that one, if he doesn't stumble on the weak point.
 

subpar spatula

Refuses to Wash his Ass
Member
Oct 26, 2017
22,065
You also have the wild card that Achilles just throws a spear at him from a few blocks away.
 

Burt

Fight Sephiroth or end video games
Member
Oct 28, 2017
8,129
uh

im flabbergasted that people think the heel was brad pitts only weak point in troy
 

CloudWolf

Member
Oct 26, 2017
15,580
Achilles can literally only be hurt if you poke him in the heel. Geralt dies easily. Achilles wins.

That said, Troy played it pretty fast and loose with the source material, so it wouldn't surprise me if Troy's Achilles was also vulnerable everywhere. God, Troy sucked.
 
May 17, 2018
344
in a straight up swordfight i would pay good money to see that play out but Achilles would probably win.
But when you add on Geralt's Witcher abilities it's a wrap for mister sore feet
 
Oct 29, 2017
13,471
Troy is more of a pseudo-history movie so it had all mythological aspects removed. Achilles was a normal man.

Mythological Achilles is peak human fighting ability tho. Comic book tier.
 

LookAtMeGo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,136
a parallel universe
Team Achilles.

If we are going by legend, Achilles was invulnerable from being dipped in the river Styx by his mother. Only his heel that she was holding didnt enter the water which was his only weakness. On top of that he was the most skilled fighter.

Geralt couldn't take out Vilgefortz by himself in the books and Letho defeated him in battle in The Witcher 2. Even got taken out by a measly ghoul in the show.


If going by the movies/show... I'd still go with Achilles. There was only 1 other person who could go toe to toe with him and he still pretty much toyed with him. Geralt needs Yen to accomplish all the shit he does.
 

subpar spatula

Refuses to Wash his Ass
Member
Oct 26, 2017
22,065
Except Achilles would exist in a realm where people know about legendary people and creatures, in a bestiary.

Geralt is right near the top of someone who could get that info, if they didn't have it already
Achille's heel isn't some thing found in a book when he was alive because the moment it was discovered he died. There's no reason for Geralt to have some book of Achille's early years where he was a baby dipped in bronze.
 

Stinkles

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
20,459
Geralt is a murderous savage swordsman with actual supernatural powers including telekinesis and who knows what else. He's about 6'5" and built like a brick shithouse.

Brad Pitt's Achilles is a mortal man who sulks in a tent and has one move that utterly relies on his opponents not knowing he's going to do a pointlessly showy off target jump that could just as easily end with him self-kebabing onto even an amateur's spear.

Even in the movie he seems to rely mostly on people being scared of his rep. Eventually he is defeated by a credibly accused rapist, kingdom toppling gadabout and warmongering kidnapper -- who sensibly stands well back and shoots him with arrows. This after his incontinent dad refuses his very sensible request to burn the giant obvious trap. Now, it's been a minute since I read the Aenid, but I don't believe they find the Horse beside a bunch of plague-ridden corpses - but uh - even ignoring the fact that it looks big enough to be full of murderous Greeks, it's almost certainly festooned with PLAGUE. WHY YOU TAKING IT INTO THE CITY FOR MARDI GRAS PARADE? AND WHY DO YOU WANT THE GREEKS TO MAKE IT SAFELY HOME BY GIVING POSEIDON THEIR TRIBUTE!!!!???? In the Homer epic it's Athena's tribute anyway and a priest guesses it's a trick, even saying, "YO this might be full of Greek murderers don't take it into the city." But Poseidon has him and his kids strangled by sea serpents because Poseidon is Team Greece. Even Helen of Troy, who is either Stockholm Syndromed or just an asshole, tells everyone the horse is probably full of Greeks, but everyone is all, "nah it's fine, let's not even check." Also, Odysseus is in the horse, not Achilles.

THAT MOVIE SUCKED. Like, a historical retelling of the Iliad - cool. Mixing it with the Aenid and changing the story for largely pointless reasons? Not cool. Mind you, there's a slight possibility - like King Arthur, that Achilles is based on a real person, or amalgam of persons.

If it were the Achilles of the Iliad, invulnerable and son of a god, there would probably be a real match - but even then - not knowing anything about Witcher powers - Geralt could probably scan him with magic or whatever to see his mum's handprint on his heel or the Styx juice all over his body except for there.
 

SupremeWu

Banned
Dec 19, 2017
2,856
Given the fact that Hector, a non-blessed and non-mutant regular guy (who was admittedly a bad-ass* ), managed to hang with Achilles, and another normal human (giant pussy Paris) was actually able to kill him.. Geralt should have this.


* It's been decades since I read it but I think in the original Iliad Hector literally just ran for his live vs Achilles, and that wasn't even regarded as much of a pussy move. Like Achilles chased him around the city like tom and jerry.
 
May 26, 2018
23,978
Geralt is a murderous savage swordsman with actual supernatural powers including telekinesis and who knows what else. He's about 6'5" and built like a brick shithouse.

Brad Pitt's Achilles is a mortal man who sulks in a tent and has one move that utterly relies on his opponents not knowing he's going to do a pointlessly showy off target jump that could just as easily end with him self-kebabing onto even an amateur's spear.

Even in the movie he seems to rely mostly on people being scared of his rep. Eventually he is defeated by a credibly accused rapist, kingdom toppling gadabout and warmongering kidnapper -- who sensibly stands well back and shoots him with arrows. This after his incontinent dad refuses his very sensible request to burn the giant obvious trap. Now, it's been a minute since I read the Aenid, but I don't believe they find the Horse beside a bunch of plague-ridden corpses - but uh - even ignoring the fact that it looks big enough to be full of murderous Greeks, it's almost certainly festooned with PLAGUE. WHY YOU TAKING IT INTO THE CITY FOR MARDI GRAS PARADE? AND WHY DO YOU WANT THE GREEKS TO MAKE IT SAFELY HOME BY GIVING POSEIDON THEIR TRIBUTE!!!!???? In the Homer epic it's Athena's tribute anyway and a priest guesses it's a trick, even saying, "YO this might be full of Greek murderers don't take it into the city." But Poseidon has him and his kids strangled by sea serpents because Poseidon is Team Greece. Even Helen of Troy, who is either Stockholm Syndromed or just an asshole, tells everyone the horse is probably full of Greeks, but everyone is all, "nah it's fine, let's not even check." Also, Odysseus is in the horse, not Achilles.

THAT MOVIE SUCKED. Like, a historical retelling of the Iliad - cool. Mixing it with the Aenid and changing the story for largely pointless reasons? Not cool. Mind you, there's a slight possibility - like King Arthur, that Achilles is based on a real person, or amalgam of persons.

If it were the Achilles of the Iliad, invulnerable and son of a god, there would probably be a real match - but even then - not knowing anything about Witcher powers - Geralt could probably scan him with magic or whatever to see his mum's handprint on his heel or the Styx juice all over his body except for there.

Stinkles's secondary hobby revealed
 

Stinkles

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
20,459
Achille's heel isn't some thing found in a book when he was alive because the moment it was discovered he died. There's no reason for Geralt to have some book of Achille's early years where he was a baby dipped in bronze.

He's got powaz tho. Divination powaz. Like, he could presumably do a spell or something after fighting fruitlessly for a while. Anyway, it's Brad Pitt's Achilles. Vs superhuman Witcher. The thread was doomed.

Probably not a coincidence that I just watched the movie - airing on HBO I think? Possible that OP caught it too. I was disappointed because I love a swords and sandals epic and Wolfgang Petersen could have pulled it off properly. Most of the cast was good - Helen and Achilles being notable disappointments - but the pacing was off and the music was shocking. One of James Horner's only bum scores. An a-game James Horner could have really elevated that film.
 

CloudWolf

Member
Oct 26, 2017
15,580
People are highly overestimating Geralt's magic powers. Dude has Signs, which are basically just fancy parlor tricks, that's it. He cannot scan his enemies for weaknesses and isn't unnaturally strong through his magic.

Geralt is a murderous savage swordsman with actual supernatural powers including telekinesis and who knows what else. He's about 6'5" and built like a brick shithouse.

Brad Pitt's Achilles is a mortal man who sulks in a tent and has one move that utterly relies on his opponents not knowing he's going to do a pointlessly showy off target jump that could just as easily end with him self-kebabing onto even an amateur's spear.

Even in the movie he seems to rely mostly on people being scared of his rep. Eventually he is defeated by a credibly accused rapist, kingdom toppling gadabout and warmongering kidnapper -- who sensibly stands well back and shoots him with arrows.
I mean, Geralt ain't much better when it comes to the "being defeated by some random dude department"
Dude gets killed by some random farmer with a pitchfork.
 

Stinkles

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
20,459
Given the fact that Hector, a non-blessed and non-mutant regular guy (who was admittedly a bad-ass* ), managed to hang with Achilles, and another normal human (giant pussy Paris) was actually able to kill him.. Geralt should have this.


* It's been decades since I read it but I think in the original Iliad Hector literally just ran for his live vs Achilles, and that wasn't even regarded as much of a pussy move. Like Achilles chased him around the city like tom and jerry.

He fights him early on with no result - then eventually does the Looney Tunes run three times past the same mousehole - but then he decides to go full ham and fight Achilles properly, but knowing he's screwed. But he stole Achille's boyfriend's magic armor (which only has one weak point at the neck or shoulder I think) and so he fights Achilles with a sword - and Achilles is getting mad assists from Athena, and eventually gets him with a spear. Now the one thing Troy got sort of right was the whole "plz don't treat my corpse like shit" thing - which weirdly in the Iliad has Achilles drag hector's body - but by tying a belt through Hector's heels - dude was giving Paris clues the whole time apparently. Eventually Achilles feels bad and returns the body, which is protected from damage by the gods, but I believe he drags it around like in Troy but for days on end.

Actually now that stupid movie has made me mix up some Iliad and Aenid stuff, so I might have conflated a couple of Odysseus things.


Wonder if anyone else will take it on but as a fantasy story? It's super long - like the war goes on for ten years. Not sure how you film that - but could be an amazing premium cable show. Just call it the Iliad - and I'd actually be fine with cuts to Aenid stories - flashbacks or symmetrical GoT style map events. It's also absolutely lousy with poor behavior by the gods especially. And bad decisions by people - like ignoring people warning the horse is full of bros.
 

Joe White

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,031
Finland
Achilles, as Geralt seems to have split second hesitations before each kill and that would be way too long when facing Achilles, if he even ever managed to get the chance.
 

CloudWolf

Member
Oct 26, 2017
15,580
Given the fact that Hector, a non-blessed and non-mutant regular guy (who was admittedly a bad-ass* ), managed to hang with Achilles, and another normal human (giant pussy Paris) was actually able to kill him.. Geralt should have this.


* It's been decades since I read it but I think in the original Iliad Hector literally just ran for his live vs Achilles, and that wasn't even regarded as much of a pussy move. Like Achilles chased him around the city like tom and jerry.
Geralt also gets killed by a normal human.
 

Stinkles

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
20,459
People are highly overestimating Geralt's magic powers. Dude has Signs, which are basically just fancy parlor tricks, that's it. He cannot scan his enemies for weaknesses and isn't unnaturally strong through his magic.


I mean, Geralt ain't much better when it comes to the "being defeated by some random dude department"
Dude gets killed by some random farmer with a pitchfork.

I swear in the first episode I saw him Force Push a crowd of bandits and then behead them.

Why didn't you spoiler that!!!???? Oh shit. You did. And I ruined it for myself. He basically got
Omar from the Wire'd!

I have not played much of the games and I just started watching the show. So now I feel stupid. I have no issue with that spoiler if it's done well.


EDIT. YOU ALREADY FIXED WHAT I SUGGESTED YOU FIX! Thanks too late for Stinkles, but you have saved others.


I said:
But you might want to edit the "killed by random dude"text into a spoiler tag. Because the detail of who and how doesn't really change the spoiler.