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Who ended up completely alone?
- Thread starter A New Beginning
- Start date
I'm 34, completely alone. No friends or family. You get used to it in the end. It's that or a premature death.
I find comfort that in the end, all forms of life are a net waste of energy and resources, doesn't matter how big or small you are, how
successful or how much of a failure. In the end you can make a deep scratch on a rock with your name in it. It will have a bigger impact than the life of any big emperor, politician or bussinessman.
I find comfort that in the end, all forms of life are a net waste of energy and resources, doesn't matter how big or small you are, how
successful or how much of a failure. In the end you can make a deep scratch on a rock with your name in it. It will have a bigger impact than the life of any big emperor, politician or bussinessman.
Can y'all stop being condescending to the OP? Young people can also feel scared and alone, dismissing their concerns with a 'lol you're 21' is honestly quite disrespectful.
"Ive seen it all, I've done it all. And now I see back looking at my life and wonder how I got in this situation I can never get out of. I hope for the next generation"
me at 12
me at 12
I worked a lot internationally, and I still talk to friends I've made through that in spots here and there, but in my current area here in America, I feel very, very alone yeah. Most of my current work is remote from home currently (even before COVID and stuff), and the area I live in is just a cultural and social wasteland. So I feel you. I'm much older, though lol, so there's a lot less hope for someone like me than there is for someone as young as you OP.
I'm 24. I feel the same way about friends. Most of my friends aren't super close anymore and live far apart. I don't have any real friends where I live. I've lived here for almost 2 years, too. I am in a band, but we're not super close. It gets really lonely because my SO does not live here and only visits on the weekends. During the week I feel so alone.
Do threads like this always have to turn into a string of lmao baby age posts, as if you have to meet a qualifier to feel lonely?
Yes, 21 is exceptionally young and there's no reason you have to continue to be alone if you're proactive about building and maintaining relationships. I'm not going to pretend I know what that entails being largely in the same position at 26 though. I know what you're experiencing right now sucks but you do have a lot of time, and you'll be surprised how unrecognisable your life can become in a very short period.
Yes, 21 is exceptionally young and there's no reason you have to continue to be alone if you're proactive about building and maintaining relationships. I'm not going to pretend I know what that entails being largely in the same position at 26 though. I know what you're experiencing right now sucks but you do have a lot of time, and you'll be surprised how unrecognisable your life can become in a very short period.
joke response: lol you're 21 dude.
real response: everyone is different, and life is not a checklist of achievements and times. if you don't have a spouse and a friend circle by set date, you haven't missed your shot. everyone has different circumstances, and makes different choices. just because yours are different and lead you different places doesn't mean yours were wrong. in 10 years you will laugh at this post, if you even remember it. 21 is the very, very, very beginning of your adulthood and you have your entire 20s to make more mistakes and feel this way a bunch more times. you will get through it, though. you will go through multiple friend groups in your 20s, this is normal. you will feel like you've burned bridges accidentally or should've called that one guy you met in high school to catch up but never did. maybe you missed your best friend? maybe you missed your soul mate? damn! you'll feel like you found your "people", only for those people to move on after a few months when someone splinters the group. just because you feel like shit now doesn't mean you will feel like shit in the future. patience is the key to life, and good things come to those who wait. just try your best, things will come and go.
real response: everyone is different, and life is not a checklist of achievements and times. if you don't have a spouse and a friend circle by set date, you haven't missed your shot. everyone has different circumstances, and makes different choices. just because yours are different and lead you different places doesn't mean yours were wrong. in 10 years you will laugh at this post, if you even remember it. 21 is the very, very, very beginning of your adulthood and you have your entire 20s to make more mistakes and feel this way a bunch more times. you will get through it, though. you will go through multiple friend groups in your 20s, this is normal. you will feel like you've burned bridges accidentally or should've called that one guy you met in high school to catch up but never did. maybe you missed your best friend? maybe you missed your soul mate? damn! you'll feel like you found your "people", only for those people to move on after a few months when someone splinters the group. just because you feel like shit now doesn't mean you will feel like shit in the future. patience is the key to life, and good things come to those who wait. just try your best, things will come and go.
Not really my choice, but when I moved to a different city because of my parents during high school, I kinda failed to rebuild a new social circle. I tried keeping in touch with those in my hometown, but even those childhood friendships started to fizzle away because of the distance. Everything in my life halted when I got depression/anxiety and I was essentially friendless for a few years. My social skills continue to erode to this day. When I finally got my mental health mostly within control, I've begun to move to different cities in a different country every few years (for college), so it's rough. Only actively starting to reach out to other people recently (26, almost 27 at this point). I would say I have acquaintances, but someone to speak my hearts to? Not really and stay-at-home isn't helping. Still trying to reach out though!
Keep up the effort and go out of your comfort zone. Don't be hasty with expectations and know that it's inevitable that some relationships will fail. But you'll find someone, someday. There are almost 8 billion people out there! You'll find someone who will enjoy your company and they might be from the most unexpected places. At 21 you have so much time!
Keep up the effort and go out of your comfort zone. Don't be hasty with expectations and know that it's inevitable that some relationships will fail. But you'll find someone, someday. There are almost 8 billion people out there! You'll find someone who will enjoy your company and they might be from the most unexpected places. At 21 you have so much time!
Alright dude....
Try this, live each day attempting to be the best version of you that you can. Drop any expectations of meeting anyone whether that be romantically or platonically. Treat everyone well and smile as often as you can. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised where that simple formula takes you in life 🙂
Try this, live each day attempting to be the best version of you that you can. Drop any expectations of meeting anyone whether that be romantically or platonically. Treat everyone well and smile as often as you can. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised where that simple formula takes you in life 🙂
It is just friendly though love. He's 21, he hasn't ended anything. Some perspective can go long way on getting the negative thoughts out of his head.
I erroneously chose to be alone/alienate myself for all of my teens and most of my twenties.
Life gives you multiple chances to learn and grow, and occasionally throws a friend and/or significant other at you every so often.
Life gives you multiple chances to learn and grow, and occasionally throws a friend and/or significant other at you every so often.
Lol 21. Dude you've got literally your entire life ahead of you. You will meet new people.
I'm 33 and had some things happen in my life last year that did result in me being alone, but I know in time I will meet new people.
When you're that young often you will magnify your perceived loneliness and pity yourself. There's really no reason for it. Love yourself ❤️
I'm 33 and had some things happen in my life last year that did result in me being alone, but I know in time I will meet new people.
When you're that young often you will magnify your perceived loneliness and pity yourself. There's really no reason for it. Love yourself ❤️
Got hooked on FF11 senior year of college. Still hung out on occasion but started losing touch w/ friends. Graduated, still playing FF11. Wasn't looking hard for a job, took the first one that I got offered which had me making a cross country trip. My attempt to be a better person lasted about 3months before I started playing again, this time for a HNMLS (endgame raid guild basically). Didn't have much social interaction outside of work for the next 5yrs.
Got laid off, new job took me to eastern WA. Started road biking on a whim, got back into ultimate frisbee. I got some fitness back and got to know some people. I'm still more into biking solo than as a group, but it got me back in contact with people and it felt good being more than just a guy that plays outdated MMOs all fucking day. Get out there, try new shit.
Got laid off, new job took me to eastern WA. Started road biking on a whim, got back into ultimate frisbee. I got some fitness back and got to know some people. I'm still more into biking solo than as a group, but it got me back in contact with people and it felt good being more than just a guy that plays outdated MMOs all fucking day. Get out there, try new shit.
I had the same feels. Then I had several partners until 24. Now I'm with the same person at almost 30 so be patient.
I've managed to recover relationships that went on to be great for many years that involved cheating by me or my partner. In most cases I'd say cheating is a symptom of an underlying problem and the relationship should probably just end at the point the cheating occurs. So, I'm not necessarily saying you should try to recover a relationship after someone cheats, just saying it's possible.
It honestly feels like we need a mental health thread stickied on this board. These posts seems to be increasingly frequent and I really don't know what to tell people so I tend to avoid themJust a note, the Op also posted the below thread so maybe watch out laughing about being 21 before they say why they are making these threads.
Looking back at what little romance there was in my life, I was the one that destroyed all the buds of possible relationships.
I wasn't able to understand that others could love me.
I worked on this throughout the years and I'm in a better place, but I'm still left to wonder how my life could be if I didn't sabotage myself for nearly two decades.
I wasn't able to understand that others could love me.
I worked on this throughout the years and I'm in a better place, but I'm still left to wonder how my life could be if I didn't sabotage myself for nearly two decades.
At 21, I was literally living on a couch with no social life to speak of and very, very little money. Any friends I had were on the other end of the state. It was a pretty depressing time. Most of the time, the highlight of my day was watching a movie on my laptop after grinding it out at a slow, tedious job that barely paid above minimum wage.
10 years later, I live in a city I love with friends, a career that keeps me financially comfortable, and a fiancée.
The arc of your life is still in its early stages.
10 years later, I live in a city I love with friends, a career that keeps me financially comfortable, and a fiancée.
The arc of your life is still in its early stages.
Oh I sabotaged myself in a myriad of ways right up until my 32nd year of life lmao. Running away from problems, repeatedly getting myself into financial trouble, getting into unhealthy relationships, isolating myself from my family, and then drinking all the time so I didn't have to think about it.
Sober now and getting therapy. It feels like a whole new world. Literally starting over.
Self sabotage is a hell of a thing.
Blunt answer before I read the rest of the thread.
You're 21. Barely a functioning adult. Your entire life is in front of you. Make changes and create better habits for yourself now, so you may reap the benefits for the rest of your long life. Take care of your health, physical and mental. Stenghten you body with exercise. Strenghten your mind. Friends will come and go.
21 op?
you havent made a life choice that means you will be alone for the next 60 years!
wow
Absolutely. Learning to love yourself (faults and all) is not some empty saying. I used to brush it off as total nonsense. Once I finally embraced it everything changed.
You've got time to explore new things in your life at the age, believe me its going to feel like an Age before you hit your 30s. Literally your whole life ahead of you. I barely remember my 20s but for the most part I was a shut in and solely focused on my career/making money, Mistake #1.
I also made the #2 mistake of refusing to acknowledge crippling anxiety issues (or getting diagnosed) for a decade following my 20s, which frankly feels like I wasted a lot of my life in that period because of it. And now many of my friends are married and have kids, where-as I'm the last one left, turning 34, playing catch-up and trying to learn things that I should have a long time ago.
I also made the #2 mistake of refusing to acknowledge crippling anxiety issues (or getting diagnosed) for a decade following my 20s, which frankly feels like I wasted a lot of my life in that period because of it. And now many of my friends are married and have kids, where-as I'm the last one left, turning 34, playing catch-up and trying to learn things that I should have a long time ago.
From a "having friends" standpoint, I know how you feel OP, I don't myself as really having friends anymore. I know people just drift apart , but it really sucks when you are the only person who is making an effort to reconnect with people , so I just gave up and I accept the fact that I'll probably never have real close friends again.
I kind of felt that way from my pre-teens until.... a little after college. So over a decade, give or take. It wasn't great, but it can eventually end if you actually want it to. Didn't help that being a military brat we moved every 2 years or so (way more than that during 6, 7 and 8 grades...).
This part resonates with me.
I come from a family of divorce, hate and shouting. I was a 'mistake' child and it was made clear to me.
Love is a hard thing to learn late in life when you had no conceptualization of it throughout your entire childhood.
i'm feelin pretty good about it, i'm a lot less depressed alone than i ever was when i was around people
Yeah. My mental health wasn't very good in my teens and early 20's after childhood abuse and I pushed everyone away. I'm 32 now and don't even bother trying anymore.
I'm an introvert so I naturally (as in for me it's natural) don't have a lot of friends or partners and that's fine, you're only 21 that's nothing plenty of time to meet and befriend people and create relationships, the most important thing is to stick to the people that you actually like and that cares for you.
21? Your brain isn't even finished developing yet bro, it's way too early to get fatalistic. Figure out what you want and start nudging your habits there in small ways.
I didn't have a lot of friends at 21 either, and sometimes I felt really alone too. I know we are in the middle of a pandemic, but I hope you are able to build some healthy relationships soon. Could you look into joining a discord about one of your interests?
At 21? Was in the process of losing friends. It bothered me. Every few years something changed though, with some amazing moments here and there.
Now I'm not alone, and some people I met through sheer luck, but the effort I put in to meeting new people has always paid off. Fortunately, none of the choices we make at 21 will define our ability to meet people.
Now I'm not alone, and some people I met through sheer luck, but the effort I put in to meeting new people has always paid off. Fortunately, none of the choices we make at 21 will define our ability to meet people.
I did! Don't be me OP. You have nearly 20 years on me.
Should be easy enough as long as they lift the quarantine sometime in the next twenty years you should be golden.
Should be easy enough as long as they lift the quarantine sometime in the next twenty years you should be golden.
About to be 29 this year, still alone. My own fault because I never went out of my way to meet new people. I just go to work and come home.
FF11 also fucked me up in my early years. I spent the majority of my time playing that game in my middle school to high school years. I swore off MMOs after I quit, but it never translated into a better social life; I just play games that require less of a time sink now...
FF11 also fucked me up in my early years. I spent the majority of my time playing that game in my middle school to high school years. I swore off MMOs after I quit, but it never translated into a better social life; I just play games that require less of a time sink now...
Dude, you are fine! 20 or 21 is when I started partying and meeting people, and I came out of high school with, like, only one friend. Don't have a mid-life crisis if you haven't even hit that point yet. Once the COVID situation is over, put all your energy into joining groups and clubs on Meetup, and Facebook, and go out. Just be ready to put a lot of time and effort into it.