Who doesn't remember the great battle of the Twin Breaks. I was but a young whippersnapper back then, but had risen through the ranks quickly as a result of my valor during the Siege of the Climbing Frame or the Great Betrayal of the Principal, when he said he also liked playing on the computer but ended up sending a platoon of our finest to detention.
We had landed a decisive victory during the small outside break. Johnny had eaten sand, Hank had been scratched by a particularly sharp rainbow colored snap bracelet, the Super Soakers were depleted and taken in by Ms Crawford who let us know in no unsure terms that this wasn't the last of it.
But their troops had shot out of the gate during big recess and soon we found both sides trenched in. We had already lost Flint with a black eye and Jake had been crying about missing his mommy and was being comforted by Ms. Hanson. Worse, we were down to five Koosh balls and one Slinky. It was then in that desperate hour that I convinced Timmy to make the ultimate sacrifice. He slunk past the bike shed and through the bushes. Within ear range of the enemy he belted out their secret code word. "SEGA". It wasn't quite right. He got the melody down well, but the vibrato in the final A was off. How could he have known. The console was beneath him as it was beneath all of us, sure the temptation of Gunstar Heroes had been seductive and we had lost Freddy to it, but Timmy was one of our finest and he had resisted. Alas in this hour it proved his downfall. He choked on the elaborate braid in the hair of Hank's sister's Troll. We will never forget his brave sacrifice. Because in the confusion and commotion whether he pronounced SEGA correctly, our enemy had been routed from their hiding place and the righteous army of the Moustached Hero descended down upon them with all of their Koosh Balls, jump ropes and Yo-Yo melee weapons. It may not have been pretty, but Nintendo's honor had been saved that day. Of course it was but one playground battle, but a decisive one.
Ah you young-uns with your funny GIFs, and message board anonymous shit posting, you wouldn't understand.