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When should you stop bathing with your kids?
- Thread starter Yasuke
- Start date
You're a disgrace. Nothing you ever say on this forum again will ever be worth paying attention to.
I put 2. I think that's around when my parents switched from feeling like they need to be present in the bath with me to just "I'm gonna sit on the toilet and make sure you're getting everything done and not drowning". The only thing they really helped with was washing my hair until I was 6 or 7.
This. I think around 7 was when I began showering only by myself.
I don't think you need to bath with a child at all.
Like when they're little and need help sure, help them, but you don't need to get naked and have a shower together. That just seems weird to me.
Like when they're little and need help sure, help them, but you don't need to get naked and have a shower together. That just seems weird to me.
No one is really thinking passed the potential of creeps. They exist but I'd like to say most parents wouldn't do weird shit.
It was more meant as some input for thise who claim it's a crime to bath with your child
Like, what even is this? People have bathed with their toddlers and small children since the dawn of man. Earlier than that, in fact.
It's fucking weird that people in here seemingly can't separate being with a toddler from some kind of weird sexual context. Gross, tbh.
Misunderstood the prompt. Seeing people here talking about getting naked alongside their kid? Kinda weird imo since my parents never did that but they washed me or at least supervised me up to the age of around 6. Don't think it's necessarily wrong though
See I think people are going into this thread with different ideas because the wording is a little misleading. These people would probably wash their newborns but not bathe aka get naked *with* them
See I think people are going into this thread with different ideas because the wording is a little misleading. These people would probably wash their newborns but not bathe aka get naked *with* them
But I agree with the previous post - it's weird for me that so many people feel weird about bathing with a newborn. I am not planning to bathe with my kid but bathing with a newborn is *much easier* and fun than bathing them by themselves
Yeah, probably up to and around 5. I hop in with my girls (22 months and a 3.5 year old) sometimes when they ask, and I will probably when we get to Japan (as the bath is bigger and we'll go to onsens), but I'd say that/when they start wanting independence is a general guideline. My husband gets in with them as well still, and this actually came up the other day. He thought bathing together would go till much later as per what he'd been told from his friends/coworkers in Japan (like, up till teens) and as an American I thought that was hella weird. Haha.
EDIT: What's with all the "I'd never bathe with my kids" votes? Wow.
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No it fucking wouldn't lmao
My son is only a little under 2, I take showers/baths with him from time to time and wouldn't mind doing it more often if we had more space and I had more time. They're cool moments to share.
Really not sure when I'd stop, but yeah 8 seems a bit old for my liking. Probably around 4-5
Terrible idea to ask this on this forum. Too many fucking idiots who think they've got everything figured out and will probably find issue with it.
Imagine being such a damn prude that you won't tolerate any nudity of yourself and your own damn spawn. What the fuck.
Nudity is fucking great and showing kids that their body shouldn't be something they should hide and be ashamed of would improve their upbringing.
The most american thread i've seen in a while. Especially the people thinking it's wrong or 'perverted'. What the fuck are you even implying here!
Nudity is fucking great and showing kids that their body shouldn't be something they should hide and be ashamed of would improve their upbringing.
The most american thread i've seen in a while. Especially the people thinking it's wrong or 'perverted'. What the fuck are you even implying here!
I made my wife stop breastfeeding straight away, can't let my baby see her upper body naked. It'll scar the poor thing for life. Whenever we do bathe, we use burkinis to cover up most of the nasty skin. I've been thinking about using some sort of plastic gloves as well to cover up the hands, don't want to turn them into warped adults after all. Does anyone know what to do with the feet? I've tried socks but they have terrible footfeel being all mushy and soaky.
I don't ever get in the bath with my kids (ages 5 and 2) because we simply wouldn't fit; our bathtub isn't the biggest, and I'm a reasonably tall guy with a bad back, so it's a recipe for disaster.
I'll shower with them fairly regularly, though. I don't see a problem with it. I'd also walk around naked in front of them - in situations where it's reasonable to be naked, of course. My wife will also shower with the kids, although she's less comfortable walking around naked.
As for the cut-off point, it'll come when they're able to take a shower by themselves and do a decent job of washing their hair and body. My daughter's school has a swimming pool, so they have lessons every week - after which they're encouraged to get clean and dry as best as they can without assistance. I think another year or two and she'll be ready to shower alone.
Based on that, I'd say 7 or 8 is a fair age to stop showering with your kids. But even then, I wouldn't want them to feel uncomfortable with their bodies. They're obviously going to want privacy as teenagers, but I'd like it for that to be a quietly confident sort of privacy, where they're happy in their own skin but they recognise that you don't parade it around in front of everyone.
I'll shower with them fairly regularly, though. I don't see a problem with it. I'd also walk around naked in front of them - in situations where it's reasonable to be naked, of course. My wife will also shower with the kids, although she's less comfortable walking around naked.
As for the cut-off point, it'll come when they're able to take a shower by themselves and do a decent job of washing their hair and body. My daughter's school has a swimming pool, so they have lessons every week - after which they're encouraged to get clean and dry as best as they can without assistance. I think another year or two and she'll be ready to shower alone.
Based on that, I'd say 7 or 8 is a fair age to stop showering with your kids. But even then, I wouldn't want them to feel uncomfortable with their bodies. They're obviously going to want privacy as teenagers, but I'd like it for that to be a quietly confident sort of privacy, where they're happy in their own skin but they recognise that you don't parade it around in front of everyone.
This is the crux of it. If you see an adult parent being naked around their young child, who is also naked, as a sexual thing, then the problem is you.
We stopped with all kinds of in person interaction. We used a machine (can't touch your kids you know) to pick up and move our children into small containers, where they will never have to see another human being (naked or otherwise). In there, we show them abstract shapes that are distinctively non-organic; as well as sounds generated by a deep learning algorithm (gotta avoid that naked human emotion stuff).
You know... we don't want our kids to be warped. Also we're not pedos so the above should be obvious for anyone, and if you're not doing this lemme just say big yiikkkes.
It says more about them probably. Maybe they can't imagine being able to control themselves. Thinking the Devil will persuade them into raping their children or some crazy shit like that.
It's absolutely shocking imo. I actually worry about some individuals here. And their parenting skills. Deeply troubled and fucked up.
This goes beyond being prude.
This thread is really something.
If I ever have kids I don't plan on bathing with them, I would simply bathe them until they're old enough to do their own thing. Something I'd be concerned about if I was bathing with my 8 y/o kid is them saying something at school or telling their friends, would be embarrassing for them and other parents would probably think it's weird. I'm not surprised his mom got upset because I'd be taken back if someone I personally knew told me they did this.
There was a poster on the previous page who obviously meant well, but then they said they'd showered with their kid... but they'd had to put trunks on to do it.
I mean, fucking hell. I spend a fair bit of time in the States, so I'm inured to a lot of the cultural differences, but this is insane. People have penises and vaginas. Most of the time they use them for going to the toilet, or they're just there, doing nothing. Just because they're also sexual organs doesn't have to make revealing them a sexual thing.
This is one of the worst posts I have seen on ERA, and that's saying something.
I'm a bit of a prude. I don't have kids but I use to work with kids. Never had to bath them , thankfully. Kids do crazy crap like dump off all their clothes and run around naked laughing and screaming. Non of the adults ever made them feel ashamed and neither did I. We would just gather them tell them to get dressed.
If i had my own kids I don't think I would have a problem bathing with them. I guess I would stop when they were 2 or if they could be more independent before that. I never wanted to pass on my hangups to anyone else let alone my own kids.
If i had my own kids I don't think I would have a problem bathing with them. I guess I would stop when they were 2 or if they could be more independent before that. I never wanted to pass on my hangups to anyone else let alone my own kids.
Agreed. As the rugged northman I am I have to wonder what people on era think about all the times I've been completely naked in a sauna with all manner of different similarly undressed relatives of varying ages and genders back when I was growing up.
Nakedness or intimacy does not have to be sexual in nature, and the fact that people seem to think so absolutely freaks me out. It's honestly disturbing.
Case in point. Social services? Seriously?
This thread really is a tale of two extremes.
It is in fact entirely rational no matter what country you are from to both understand an adult bathing with or around small child, and also to understand that part of growing up is developing boundaries.
Okay, so you're bathing with your kid, cool awesome do that. But let's follow this logic train. You first needed to do that because bathroom habits were being taught, then it was totally natural and nothing wrong with, and then you're family so it's just nothing, so if it's just nothing why do you need to be naked around an older kid?
That's where I'm at with it. I mean go Finland at all, but there is a reasonable response in between calling someone a pedophile and calling everyone prudes for not rockin' out with their 9 year old in the buff.
It is in fact entirely rational no matter what country you are from to both understand an adult bathing with or around small child, and also to understand that part of growing up is developing boundaries.
Okay, so you're bathing with your kid, cool awesome do that. But let's follow this logic train. You first needed to do that because bathroom habits were being taught, then it was totally natural and nothing wrong with, and then you're family so it's just nothing, so if it's just nothing why do you need to be naked around an older kid?
That's where I'm at with it. I mean go Finland at all, but there is a reasonable response in between calling someone a pedophile and calling everyone prudes for not rockin' out with their 9 year old in the buff.
This. It's really fucked up and completely counter to how kids should be brought up.
The fact that it even conjures up thoughts of a sexual nature really says something about the person.
Nudity =/= sexuality.
This is a picture from the best childrens film ever made, by one of the greatest animators in history.
It's baffling to me that I feel the need to put an NSFW spoiler tag on it, but I guess that's where we're at.
Get that pedo shit outta here! /s
Lol I knew exactly what scene it was before clicking the link. <3 Totoro
There is so much to unpack here. I don't think you even know what a child is, to be honest, and certainly not how they work.
I am kind of relieved they said they are not planning to have a child tbh.
Lmao for real. Thinking a one year old can clean themselves is fucking hilarious. Have they ever seen a baby? They'll just sit in the water like idiots and they'll never get cleaned if a parent like that expected them to clean themselves. I'm dying of laughter here.
North Americans are a fucking trip. This question obviously varies between child-parent relationships but it essentially comes down to when the child wants the privacy. OP makes it sound like it happens rarely and only when the son asks - how is this anything but OK?
Lol. You think kids at 2 can clean themselves? Wow. Gave me a good laugh this post. You wash your kids till they are way older than 3 - 5/6 before you can even hope for them to adequately do it themselves and even then you'd need to watch them closely.
As for being in the bath - crazy how many have hang ups - human body is natural. Kids love being in the bath with their parents. Its perfectly normal and people should do it till whenever they think their kid has grown out of it, which will be different ages all round.
Well said!
If the idea of a parent bathing with their child grosses some people out then they have issues!
I would never bathe with my children but I also wouldn't judge someone who does. It's just out of my comfort level, probably some weird insecurity. As far as when I'd stop helping them bathe? I guess it depends on their maturity level/smarts/etc. Would take I imagine 7 years+ before I trust them unsupervised.