When should you stop bathing with your kids?

[Figgles]

8 is probably approaching the absolute limit, but it's not weird. You might want to encourage him to do his own thing, but as long as neither of you is uncomfortable... eh. The people thinking it's totally inappropriate to ever bathe with your child are the fucking weirdos.

 

[Yasuke]

Hold on. Is it also weird to be naked in front of your kids at an older age? So would it be weird for a father and teenage daughter to be naked in front of each other?

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If one/both of them is uncomfortable with it? Absolutely.

Otherwise, who gives a shit?

 

[papermoon]

Hold on. Is it also weird to be naked in front of your kids at an older age? So would it be weird for a father and teenage daughter to be naked in front of each other?

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Yes.

 

[Riversands]

When they are 17

 

[Annubis]

Meh, I say do whatever feels ok between you and the kid.
Being bathing with, alone or just being besides the bath.
Same for the age.

Bathing culture is so diverse around the world, it's not really an area for anything to be extremely weird.

Why?

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Well, the really young kids could shit in the bath and that would just be horrible.

 

[Plover]

8 is probably approaching the absolute limit, but it's not weird. You might want to encourage him to do his own thing, but as long as neither of you is uncomfortable... eh. The people thinking it's totally inappropriate to ever bathe with your child are the fucking weirdos.

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This. People are ridiculous, and it's horrible of the mother of OP's kid to accuse him of molestation. Imagine being scared to be naked in front of your own kid before they're anywhere near puberty!

 

[Rendering...]

I wouldn't bathe with my kid unless I had a sick lil baby, probably.

 

[Landy828]

Only really bathed with my kids when they were really little. When they were too small to wash themselves I usually washed them while kneeling next to the tub.

That was with my two daughters. I have an 11th month old son now, and it's pretty much the same process. Don't really take him in the tub / shower with me much. Just wash him in the sink tub or a real tub/shower.

As far as nudity, both of my daughters feel safe around me, as they should. Neither of them are phased about walking around with nothing on when leaving the bathroom and getting dressed. They are so comfortable with it I've considered having a talk with them about making sure they never do it around other people. I had some "light" talks with my oldest.

 

[OnionPowder]

I stopped when she was able to sit up in the bath and not hurt herself. Now i sit outside and we play and she fucking loves baths.

When she was younger she would sit on me or her mom while we helped bathe her.

 

[OhSatan]

You are not winning this battle against the mother OP tread carefully.


And yeah when the minor says no more that is the end of it and damn the difference in cultures is showing in this thread.

 

[EddyLovesTunaRolls]

I'll help them bathe until they can figure out how to do it on their own. After that I never want to see them naked again unless it's for something medical and I have no other choice.

 

[Ra]

My dad has walked around naked my entire life. I'm 37 now and he STILL does it at what, 64? I always just respected it because he's on some lion of the pack shit so he does what he wants. I'm just desensitized to it at this point. Like I come in his house, walk in the living room and my mom is watching him do naked Wii Fit, I just pull a grandpa from the Simpsons and go nope in the other direction.

Funny thing is I got weird about being naked and showering with/around my brother way before I did with him. My brother was confused lmao.

My dad made me shower with him until he was sure I was doing it right, because perfection was a key in my household. So I was like 6 to 8 when I went solo. Nothing felt weird about it to us.

 

[Deleted member 19218]

This reminds me of that video where the woman breastfeeds her child who is like 10.

 

[Deleted member 18400]

And seeing no reason for something isn't a reason that something "should've stopped a long time ago".

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I mean the possible legal problems this could cause you seems like a pretty solid reason too....

 

[Wubby]

In Japan with onsens so.... never?

 

[julian]

My kids only 2.5 so I can't really say when it'll feel weird, but we shower together. It made cleaning so much easier. He does ask us to leave him to poop alone half the time though.

 

[Powdered Egg]

I showered with my dad till I was 7. The shower is my break from life so I prefer solo, but if my kids want to hop in I let them.

 

[DJ_Lae]

When they no longer want to, I guess. I'd imagine it would happen anywhere between 4 and 8, but who knows.

It's not weird.

 

[Rory]

Just bathe them and when they're old enough, let them wash themselves. There's no need to bathe with them.

edit: Should've made the poll public so we can see who's saying 5+ years.

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I wonder how much cultural influence is taking part in this decision.

i mean in countries where every apartment/house has an own bathroom this will have a different out come than those with public bath?

I could imaging that it is more common in Japan than, say, America or Austria.
Also things like sauna or general acceptance of display of naked bodies could considered to influence this decision in upbringing too.

Shaming for that... nah.

 

[Starwing]

I'd say three to four years and even then, you don't have to bathe with them. Just making sure they are properly supervised until they know how to wash themselves.

 

[BizzyBum]

8 years old is pretty damn old to still take showers together, OP.

But I'm guessing it's a cultural thing. I don't ever remember bathing with my parents at any age.

 

[ZiZ]

When their wife/husband starts complaining.

Spoiler

neither of my parents have taken a bath with me or any of my younger siblings they did bathe us though (them outside the tub fully clothed while the child is in the tub)

 

[Strangelove_77]

8 years old is way too old for that shit. That's the kind of thing that can warp a kid.

 

[Yasuke]

I mean the possible legal problems this could cause you seems like a pretty solid reason too....

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My child's mother lying about the nature of our relationship speaks volumes about her, not me.

And "too" would imply you offered a solid reason at all.

8 years old is way too old for that shit. That's the kind of thing that can warp a kid.

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Consensually showering with your child is not going to warp them.

Y'all can say y'all aren't comfortable with something without making shit up.

 

[Cilla]

I shower with my 2.5 year old daughter because I am solo parent and sometimes that is the only way that I can get a shower lol. I don't see the issue.

 

[Inugami]

Infants and toddlers pee and poop in the bath all the time, I don't want to bathe with that, and once they're past that stage they are old enough to bathe by themselves, so yeah first option for me never once bathed with either of my kids.

 

[AlteredBeast]

I don't shower with my girls at age 4,but I've showered with my boys lately, one is 9,the other is 6. I am not washing the, but we're all in there together, lol. I have a huge shower with multiple shower heads. Being comfortable nude with your kids is not weird, in my opinion. People making it out to be inherently sexual is weird as hell. My boys couldn't shower with their sisters after the boys turned 6, though.

 

[bigsnack]

Yeah I don't see an issue with being in the bathroom / bathing with your kids until they set the limit themselves and want privacy. I have two boys, ages 5.5 and 3.5, and they ask me to come in the bathroom while they are taking a bath all the time. A lot of my good catch up / talking time with my 5 year old (asking him how his day was, etc.) takes place in the bathroom. Occasionally my youngest will ask to come in shower with me, but he just loves the warm water and I let him go for it. It's only as uncomfortable as you want to make it in my opinion. When they start asking to be in there alone they will get their privacy, but nobody is really there yet in our house. I always prefer doing my own showering / bathroom time, but I don't make a big deal about it if someone comes in.

 

[Yasuke]

I shower with my 2.5 year old daughter because I am solo parent and sometimes that is the only way that I can get a shower lol. I don't see the issue.

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I remember those days lol. Stressful time.

My dad has walked around naked my entire life. I'm 37 now and he STILL does it at what, 64? I always just respected it because he's on some lion of the pack shit so he does what he wants. I'm just desensitized to it at this point. Like I come in his house, walk in the living room and my mom is watching him do naked Wii Fit, I just pull a grandpa from the Simpsons and go nope in the other direction.

Funny thing is I got weird about being naked and showering with/around my brother way before I did with him. My brother was confused lmao.

My dad made me shower with him until he was sure I was doing it right, because perfection was a key in my household. So I was like 6 to 8 when I went solo. Nothing felt weird about it to us.

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I'm 27, and my pops is 55; he has yet to cease calling me into the bathroom while he's laying in the tub lmao. And neither of my parents bathes with my son, but they'll often be in the bathroom talking to him while he is. More often than not, my girl and I do the same with him since we're often cleaning/grooming ourselves around the same time he's bathing (I've been with her since he was an infant, so she's been through it all with him).

We're hoping to move somewhere he'll have his own bathroom next summer, and maybe that'll be what finally makes him want complete privacy when he's cleaning himself.

 

[BossAttack]

I honestly can't remember when my dad stopped showering with me and my siblings. I think we would still shower together even at 8 years old. But, it was much rarer during this time. We basically saw it as a form of punishment as it was typically after a haircut. My siblings and I were dumbasses and hated getting haircuts, we just wanted to grow our hair out and have afros. But, my parents would never have that so it meant haircuts every so many weeks.

And, the capstone of the event was a shower to wash out our hair and our dad would scrub our hair for us. Think 3 kids and dad in a shower, the kids likely crying because we had our beautiful hair cut and dad scrubbing our hair vigorously.

Anywho, shit just naturally stops. I wasn't like yo dad, get out the shower. We just got old enough to wash ourselves.

 

[Landy828]

So, I said 2 years old. Before that, I'll have to at least lay an eye often of what's he/she's doing in the bath or even clean 'em when they are less than a year old.

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Just an FYI for those of you that don't have kids. A two year old is not capable of bathing themselves well, and probably at all for a lot of them.

A lot of 1 year olds can barely walk without falling🤣🤣. They aren't going to be in there washing off with a rag at a year-and-a-half old 🤷🏼‍♂️😂.

 

[Middleman]

Just bathe them and when they're old enough, let them wash themselves. There's no need to bathe with them.

edit: Should've made the poll public so we can see who's saying 5+ years.

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I said 5+

Problem?

 

[Tagyhag]

I wouldn't bathe with my kids but if I did maybe 2 would be the max?

 

[MrMephistoX]

I used to occasionally throw on my trunks and take a shower with my kid if asked since showers were anxiety inducing vs the tub where one of us is always sitting there.

Also, anyone saying 2 years is okay to leave a child alone in the tub is insane kids are dumb at that age and could easily drown.

 

[Wood Man]

I've adopted my wife's Japanese bathing mentality. My daughter is 9 and I take the occasional shower with her. Mostly after going to the pools or beach. It makes washing quicker. None of us think it's weird. Not sure how long it will last though. As for a bath there's no way we can fit in our tub together anymore. That ended when she was around 4 or 5.

But I'll admit when I was younger and I first saw that Totoro scene with the dad taking a bath with his girls I thought it was weird at the time.

 

[BringBackSonics]

8 years old is way too old for that shit. That's the kind of thing that can warp a kid.

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How does it warp them? 🤔

 

[Deleted member 2779]

I wonder how much cultural influence is taking part in this decision.

i mean in countries where every apartment/house has an own bathroom this will have a different out come than those with public bath?

I could imaging that it is more common in Japan than, say, America or Austria.
Also things like sauna or general acceptance of display of naked bodies could considered to influence this decision in upbringing too.

Shaming for that... nah.

Click to shrink...

No need to wonder, I think it's safe to say that our cultural upbringing largely shapes our beliefs on this aspect of our lives. I'm sure if you did some digging there'd be papers across sociology or anthropology researching this across different cultures.

 

[kickz]

The amount of people claiming they didn't understand the question is confusing to me. "When is bathing with" isn't clear? Is there a better way for me to word that?

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I read it wrong to :/

Missed the with

 

[Yasuke]

How does it warp them? 🤔

Click to shrink...

That nigga don't know.

I read it wrong to :/

Missed the with

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Was there a better way for me to word that? Genuinely asking. I don't think I asked it in a misleading way, and I'm not sure what to do about people skimming the question and missing a word lol

 

[tadaima]

I've adopted my wife's Japanese bathing mentality.

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I could see myself doing the same.

It was totally weird seeing my friends naked in the onsen almost a decade ago but I've come to accept that bathing together, be it with friends or family, is a totally normal thing to do.

It's just a cultural thing really.

And OP, I think your way of going about it is perfectly acceptable, but I could understand completely why somebody would not accept it.

 

[Magni]

No limit for going to the onsen, same gender. Mixed gender onsen, I'd probably feel weird about it around 5ish? No idea, I'm still years away from my daughter reaching that age.

A normal bath or shower at home though? As soon as they can do it on their own.

I'd never have a kid nor planning to but, if I had one, I'd supervise it until he's old enough to:
1. clean himself - at least understand what to do and try to do it
2. not drown himself by accident

So, I said 2 years old. Before that, I'll have to at least lay an eye often of what's he/she's doing in the bath or even clean 'em when they are less than a year old.

Also, I would *never" be physically in the bath with my kid. That'd be VERY wrong.

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No offense meant, but it's quite clear from your post that you don't have kids. Is wiping shit out of your daughter's genitals also "VERY wrong"?

"lay an eye" do you realize what a 3 month old can and cannot do? (hint: not much of the former, pretty much all the latter).

Humans aren't marine iguanas. Newborns and babies will not survive without parents taking care of pretty much everything.

 

[Deleted member 8860]

IMO, up to 5 is definitely okay and past 10 is definitely not (in a single tub situation; a full on shower room at the gym/sauna is different). Between 5 and 10, though, I don't think there's a hard cutoff, just it getting weirder.

Usually my four year old and I bathe separately, but if I'm about to take a shower and the kid needs one too we'll take one together.

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

We occasionally did together showers until around 4. They're completely capable of washing themselves now, so no reason to do that anymore.

People saying they'd never shower with their kids are kind of sick to have that kind of hang up imo. Like, if it's for concerns over sexuality or something, that's just gross.

 

[Acorn]

32

 

[MistaTwo]

In Japan it is definitely common to bathe with them until they are fairly grown.
My son is turning 6 next year and I am gonna try to get my wife to have him bathe/shower on his own at times, and I expect some pushback from her.
haha

It makes sense when you understand that public baths and onsens have been part of the culture for centuries.

 

[Greendomo]

I've showered with all of my kids (I have 4) and its mostly for when they're young and need help. Sometimes its convenience, "Hey, you're already in the shower, can you wash the toddler while you're in there?" Usually, by 5 or so they can do it themselves with no supervision, or I'll stand to the side and help wash their hair, but I'll still shower with the 6-year-old occasionally, like if we are back from the pool and trying to save time. I don't think there needs to be a strict cut off, but that being said I wouldn't shower with my 10-year-old, because I think we would both feel weird about it.

 

[Deleted member 16876]

I don't have a child and I doubt I will bath with them if I do have one.

That said, until they speak up or it gets too crowded. Or until they hit 5-6 years old.

 

[JealousKenny]

I shower with my 3 year old showing him how to do it. It's just easier than running a bath every night. You get yourself and your child clean at the same time.

 

[Fliesen]

i don't think theres anything "wrong" with still sharing a bathtub with an 8 year old but that does sound like a good time/age to move on from that particular father-son activity.

Like, unless your son's specifically asking you to hop into the tub with him, I don't think it'd be wrong to phase it out.

Like, again, I don't think it'd be wrong or weird not to, but I don't see the benefit of it any longer and it's definitely a "small child" activity to bathe with your dad and it might be something your son could get made fun of, sadly.
It's like - there's no reason to _stop_ drinking from a bottle, or to stop using a pacifier from time to time, at a certain point it's simply not a necessity anymore and the "weird" optics outweigh the benefits.

There's other things that I think are very valuable to parent child bonding, like them being allowed in your bed if they're scared or sad - even when they _could_ be sleeping in their own bed.
That's something where telling the child it might be "too old for that kind of stuff" feels much more harmful.

But you do you OP.
And wow at the weirdos who think sharing a bathtub is a "weird" thing to do. For small children, the tub is _literally_ a tiny water park. Playing with them while caring for their personal hygene is practical and super fun for the kid.

 

[Kain-Nosgoth]

you do you, i don't think it's an issue regardless of the age

it's just nudity in the end, if everyone is confortable with it, then it's fine, just be sure to ask your kids about it, they should be the one to choose