I'm genuinely curious about y'all's responses to that question (my answer; as soon as you and/or your child aren't comfortable doing it anymore), but I'm really asking because I need to vent about a conversation I had with my son's mother earlier.
My eight year old told his mother that he and I still occasionally take showers together (I don't know how or why it came up. She says he just mentioned it in passing, and I suppose it could be that, but I suspect otherwise), and she proceeded to flip out.
I made it clear to her that we rarely do so these days, even when he wants to (which has more to do with me wanting him to be increasingly independent), and that his desire for privacy is always respected when he has it, even when I need to assist him with getting cleaned up and dressed. But I wasn't raised by especially modest parents, and I'm likewise not bothered about he and I covering up around each other (I'm deadass 27, and my pops still makes no attempt to cover himself around me. This has never seemed weird to me). I don't think the human body is something to be ashamed of, or inherently sexual (she disagrees on both counts, which might be related to her being extremely religious).
I've taught him the importance of consent and respecting other's rights to personal space, and he has enough decorum to know what's appropriate with family might not be with everyone else. He understands that he has full autonomy over his body and would never shower with, or appear naked to me from this point forward, if he expressed a wish for it to be so. But she's begun alleging that he and I have an inappropriate relationship, which has me pretty fucked up. This is especially alarming as we're in the midst of a custody dispute, and I'm afraid she's going to insinuate I've done something malicious to him. She knows I was molested as a child and might even attempt to draw a link to that.
I'm prepared to be called a weirdo by a bunch of the people who reply to this. I remain convinced I've done nothing wrong, but really just wanted somewhere to share this.
My eight year old told his mother that he and I still occasionally take showers together (I don't know how or why it came up. She says he just mentioned it in passing, and I suppose it could be that, but I suspect otherwise), and she proceeded to flip out.
I made it clear to her that we rarely do so these days, even when he wants to (which has more to do with me wanting him to be increasingly independent), and that his desire for privacy is always respected when he has it, even when I need to assist him with getting cleaned up and dressed. But I wasn't raised by especially modest parents, and I'm likewise not bothered about he and I covering up around each other (I'm deadass 27, and my pops still makes no attempt to cover himself around me. This has never seemed weird to me). I don't think the human body is something to be ashamed of, or inherently sexual (she disagrees on both counts, which might be related to her being extremely religious).
I've taught him the importance of consent and respecting other's rights to personal space, and he has enough decorum to know what's appropriate with family might not be with everyone else. He understands that he has full autonomy over his body and would never shower with, or appear naked to me from this point forward, if he expressed a wish for it to be so. But she's begun alleging that he and I have an inappropriate relationship, which has me pretty fucked up. This is especially alarming as we're in the midst of a custody dispute, and I'm afraid she's going to insinuate I've done something malicious to him. She knows I was molested as a child and might even attempt to draw a link to that.
I'm prepared to be called a weirdo by a bunch of the people who reply to this. I remain convinced I've done nothing wrong, but really just wanted somewhere to share this.
