Hopefully by Fall because I just lost my job, and my savings (if we get the 1400 checks) will only carry me to July. If we don't get the checks, I'll last til May. Yesterday was really hard for me, and I have been wanting to find somewhere to post just for the sake of venting, I guess. I couldn't stop crying. The last time I cried was in 2017. I couldn't stop. After I graduated in 2018, I was unemployed and living with my folks until August 2019 when I started teaching college as an adjunct. I was never told the job would be permanent. I was told I could lose classes. But I didn't think it would happen to me. I had struggled through probably the lowest period in my life to find refuge, finally, in that single, small job. I loved the job with a passion I didn't know I could have for anything other than writing. It made me feel like somebody, like all my hard work in college had finally, finally paid off. Then, on Friday, 4 days before the semester was supposed to start, they hand my classes to a full-time faculty member and tell me they're sorry. It felt like someone had sucked my soul out of my body. I'm 30 and don't have a full time job. If I don't find something in the next few months, I'll be 30 and living with my parents again. God bless my wife for working and supporting us for now, but I'm so terrified she's just going to decide she's had enough of this and walk out. Yesterday was really hard for me. I took a Klonopin and watched Sound of Music just so I could get to sleep, but I obviously can't do that every night. It's hard to adequately express the state I'm in. I oscillate from feeling fine and hopeful to suddenly feeling like I'm mourning the death of a loved one.
Any way...
Realistically, I see Fall 2021 as a goalpost. Hopefully, we get there.