OK, I never ever make threads, but I got to thinking about this because of a recent conversation at a family reunion, and my god, it just frustrates me to no end. So folks're all gathered around a table a little bit before everyone starts dipping, and I'm listening in on conversations from older relatives about their childhood stories, and that inevitably turns into a conversation about experiences with raising their own kids.
A super distant relative I've probably only seen once in my life (who's also white, if that matters?) talks about a moment she had with her son asking for something really expensive, and getting pouty when denied it. Soooo, she beats him for that, and then he (her son) tells her that the teachers at his school say you can't beat your kids, or it's abuse. Her response to that? "I beat him even harder!" Everyone at the table is just whooping and hollering like "YEAH, THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!" and claiming that it's ridiculous that beating your kids is considered abuse "these days". And I'm just in the background like... what the fuck, man. Why are we like this? Why are we all literally standing around and applauding child abuse? Why can't we see it as child abuse?
As someone who was raised by a mother who beat them as the soul form of punishment for any little thing they did wrong, this infuriates me. I did NOT "turn out just fine" through how I was raised. Personally, I definitely don't feel like a properly functioning adult because of the punishments. Now I just fear failure to an unhealthy degree, resent my mother and feel barely an iota of actual love towards her (though to be fair, she was also pretty emotionally detached as well and lacked compassion).
But forreal. What is it that makes us behave this way with our kids? Obviously I don't think this is black people/culture exclusive, but it feels soooo much more central to traditional black parenting methods, and I really can't stand it.
