What would you do in this scenario?

[It’s Time To Go]

So I'm at university. I'm an introvert, I don't make friends easily. I don't often share classes with the same people, and so it's difficult to make a social base. But you try to be like, pleasant right? Like there's no point in being a dick to people you don't know well.

But I know a guy in one of my seminars, not well, but well enough, have him on WhatsApp. And he messaged me and he said he has to talk to me about something. Long and the short, the rest of the class, I don't know if it's all of the class, have a group chat, that I wasn't aware of, and they frequently make fun of me in it, like all the time. Someone even made some poor quality memes of me.

i don't even know what I'm supposed to do about this. I'm 26 years old, I feel too old to go running to the teacher about being picked on. I don't really want to confront them, cos that's just embarrassing given they apparently think so little of me. And I really don't want to do what I've done with college and access courses before and drop out and waste more of my fucking life sitting round doing nothing. But I'm not a machine, it does hurt my feelings, even if it's a bunch of people I don't know well.

 

[Deleted member 15428]

Is your goal to leave the university with a degree? Then stick to that goal and ignore the rest

 

[FluxWaveZ]

There's a group chat with a focus on making fun of you in university that you're not part of? lol, we back in high school? They're incredibly pathetic.

I've long stopped caring about what others think of me, so I'd just shrug and just continue doing my thing, I guess.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

They sound like fucking assholes. If you can, getting screen caps of the conversation and reporting it to your relevant school society might be an option. Unis should prevent bullying, it's really not acceptable at that point.

But that being said, no matter the outcome, you'll still have to ignore it and soldier on. They're jerks and only a temporary element in your life, so work hard, succeed well and leave them and their childish BS behind you.

I don't know how they can honestly be that way to each other. If someone from my uni was doing that to someone, I'd think that they would be fine with doing the same to me or one of my friends. Ain't someone I'd want to hang around with or talk to, tbh.

 

[It’s Time To Go]

Report it to the university staff

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I'm 26 years old. That feels like a dumb kid thing.

There's a group chat with a focus on making fun of you in university that you're not part of? lol, we back in high school? They're incredibly pathetic.

I've long stopped caring about what others think of me, so I'd just shrug and just continue doing my thing, I guess.

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I think it's a general group chat for the seminar group that I'm not in, rather than a group specifically created to make fun of me. But then I'm not in it, so I don't know.

 

[FluxWaveZ]

I think it's a general group chat for the seminar group that I'm not in, rather than a group specifically created to make fun of me. But then I'm not in it, so I don't know.

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That's what I would figure, but if it's frequent and there are dedicated memes featuring your likeness, that's just stupid and childish. Sounds like it's going to be bothering you, though, and I don't think the distraction is worth it. You should talk to an authority; don't worry about it being childish or whatever when they've already stooped below that level.

The thing is that, the classic result is that they find out that you snitched and the harassment becomes somehow worse. It's kinda mind-blowing that someone would have to deal with that in university.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

I'm 26 years old. That feels like a dumb kid thing.

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It's a dumb kid thing to make memes and jokes at the expense of your classmate or colleague. You don't pay good money and spend your time and effort going to University to feel unwarranted hostility and like you're just a big joke to laugh at from your classmates. Fuck those people.

 

[SoH]

I'm 26 years old. That feels like a dumb kid thing.

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You are an adult. Adults don't pick on each other and whine to teacher, it is called harassment. If you feel you are being harassed, report it. If you feel they are just assholes and not worth your time and it doesn't escalate any further, ignore them.

 

[Mekanos]

I'm 26 years old. That feels like a dumb kid thing.

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It isn't. If you were in a work environment and people had a work chat dedicated to making fun of an employee, that would qualify as harassment and should be reported as well.

 

[Papa Satanás]

Unless your classes depend on the cooperation of these guys, screw em. They can play in their kiddie hate chat while you have a life lol

 

[Kurdel]

Wow that is such a shitty thing to do, I would resent the guy for even telling me that was a thing honestly.

 

[It’s Time To Go]

Unless your classes depend on the cooperation of these guys, screw em. They can play in their kiddie hate chat while you have a life lol

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I wouldn't say depends, but the seminars are a lot of discussion amongst students, rather than being taught by the seminar leader, so to speak, so its crucial to have some sort of working relationship with them.

 

[laoni]

Honestly, I'd just shrug and move on with my life. It'd definitely hurt knowing that was happening, but, letting it affect me to take a more drastic option like dropping out would hurt me more.

University isn't high school, and at least, for myself, I don't really see the other students in my class as people I'm obligated to befriend. Work together politely, sure, but, I know my interests are pretty niche and I have other avenues to find friendships in my interest areas. I'm there at uni to progress myself and my life, what they do with theirs, how they want to waste their time, that's their money and time.

If you can get evidence, you can take that to university staff, and many have policies in place around bullying but if you've no way of proving it, it makes it harder to take action.

 

[Galactor]

I would try to get evidence (screenshots) and a lawyer to get my sweet revenge (get them in trouble with the university) . You deserve to get revenge for your mental health. And they also will learn a lesson. Everyone wins. And they wont try to retalliate because they will be afraid of more consequences.

 

[Papa Satanás]

I wouldn't say depends, but the seminars are a lot of discussion amongst students, rather than being taught by the seminar leader, so to speak, so its crucial to have some sort of working relationship with them.

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That's okay, you do your part and do it well. If they're going to hinder you in class anyway, it'll be very obvious who's being a jackass. Then they can go whine at each other later.

 

[Squarehard]

I feel it's good to know that the one person you don't know well actually reached out to you, to let you know about it.

If anything, I would definitely think more highly of that person, as they are not complete shit, and maybe that's what is more important here.

People are shit, and I'm sure most of them are kids still really. I mean, I just had a student in my class who was presenting in her group, and one of the students has autism and speech issues which she had made clear already previously, but when she got to a part of the presentation where she said something wrong the words got mixed up and it turned into something else, that other student started to crack up, and started to laugh loudly in front of the class, which then led to others to laugh as well.

We had to have a pretty long talk about it after the presentation was over, and talked about it in more depth to make sure we were all on the same page, and to understand why that under no circumstances is tolerated, for any student.

But the one thing that student that was affected did have was other students who supported her in the moment. I feel in this case, you clearly have at least people that do care.

I wouldn't say ignore them, but acknowledge those acts for what they are in order to better understand yourself as well.

It's tough, and it's not fair you have to go through this, but try to see if there is something you can take away from this whole situation that can be beneficial to you moving forward.

Best of luck to you.

 

[It’s Time To Go]

Wow that is such a shitty thing to do, I would resent the guy for even telling me that was a thing honestly.

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I appreciate him telling me. I'd rather know than go through the rest of the year being laughed at and not knowing, or finding out later.

I do in fact have some screenshots from the guy, but I also don't want to be known the snitch as whatever poster said. So I guess I'm just painting myself into a stupid corner here.

 

[Blue Skies]

I would focus on the fact that your classmate was nice enough to tell you.
shitty people are all over, don't pay em any mind. Good people are hard to come by, and that classmate might be one of the good ones

 

[Kwigo]

In college, really ?
Wow, what a bunch of babies.
If you can get screenshots, report them anonymously. Otherwise just let assholes be assholes and hope that you don't have to work with those pricks once you enter the job market.

 

[Verelios]

Fuck them. Yes it hurts, and yes it's immature as hell but your number one priority should be to buckle down and ace your courses. It's nice to be social and friendly with classmates but it's not necessary, especially to the point of jeapordizing your degree. Move on and thank the guy for telling you

 

[Subpar Scrub]

I would try to get evidence (screenshots) and a lawyer to get my sweet revenge (get them in trouble with the university) . You deserve to get revenge for your mental health. And they also will learn a lesson. Everyone wins. And they wont try to retalliate because they will be afraid of more consequences.

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I don't see how getting into a legal battle would be beneficial to OP at the moment tbh. And unless the content of the chat is defamatory I don't really see what you'd even use a lawyer for, but maybe I'm unaware of some particular anti-bullying law where OP lives or something.

 

[SlasherMcGirk]

What exactly are they making fun of you about?

 

[impingu1984]

I'm not saying the guy who told is suddenly your best friend or anything but I can't help but respect him for telling you.

As the rest of it "Running to the teacher" about bullying is actually fine, you handle how you want, just know this is a valid option.

As others have said.. in a work environment with any half competent employer would not be tolerated at all

Your goal to gain to a degree and don't let these dicks stop you doing it.

 

[It’s Time To Go]

What exactly are they making fun of you about?

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Wearing pokemon t shirts
Being kinda overweight
Being tall
Self harm scars when I wear short sleeves

Amongst other things.

 

[Mekanos]

Wearing pokemon t shirts
Being kinda overweight
Being tall
Self harm scars when I wear short sleeves

Amongst other things.

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That shit is disgusting. You should absolutely report them. If this was a work environment that'd be grounds for firing.

 

[Oliver James]

I agree with the first guy, if you can just ignore them, just finish school, if they're not doing it brazenly in the open. People making fun of other people are not worth your time.

 

[Blue Skies]

That shit is disgusting. You should absolutely report them. If this was a work environment that'd be grounds for firing.

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Who the fuck makes fun of someone for being tall

 

[smurfx]

maybe just confront them and tell them they are a bunch of immature fucks. other than that i dont know what you can really do. doubt threatening violence will get you anywhere.

 

[It’s Time To Go]

Who the fuck makes fun of someone for being tall

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This bunch of 18-20 year olds do I guess. But like I say, I don't know any of them very well.

 

[Doomsayer]

Those people sound like clowns, OP. Just know that with attitudes like that they probably won't get very far in life.

Don't let their "boiz meme club" get to you. Keep your head down and do you own thing and finish school.

Wearing pokemon t shirts
Being kinda overweight
Being tall
Self harm scars when I wear short sleeves

Amongst other things.

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These being the topics they choose to make fun of tells me everything I need to know about them.

I reiterate: Fuck them. You're a much better person then they will ever be.

 

[Deimos]

That's harassment and as an adult, you should report it to the university.

 

[Deleted member 19782]

Props to that guy for telling you about the situation and not being part of the hivemind.

doubt threatening violence will get you anywhere.

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This wouldn't end well for the OP.

Wearing pokemon t shirts
Being kinda overweight
Being tall
Self harm scars when I wear short sleeves

Amongst other things.

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Especially making fun of this? They are trash.

Sending you lots of love, OP.

 

[Midramble]

They sound pathetic

 

[cameron]

Undergrad always has people who are set in their shitty high school behaviour, even after the first year. Like forming cliques that get off on mocking other students. It reflects poorly on them and no one else.




Ignore them if can, but I don't have any solid advice.

 

[Rassilon]

what a bunch of shitheads

having worked in an FE/HE institution my instinctual advise would be to report it, as bullying shouldn't be tolerated at all.
But it's up to you of course.

Props to the person who let you know.

Stay strong and don't let those morons get you down, I've been there and it's not always easy.

 

[Quinton]

Weird neighborhood or something? I've literally never heard of someone being ridiculed for being tall. Very, very odd bunch of young adult ducks. Sending them lots of quacks tonight.

 

[Deleted member 21709]

Ignore it, who cares? They are acting like twelve year olds.

 

[Alwayscrazybacon]

Long and the short, the rest of the class, I don't know if it's all of the class, have a group chat, that I wasn't aware of, and they frequently make fun of me in it, like all the time. Someone even made some poor quality memes of me.

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That's absolutely awful. You should report it "Not snitiching to teacher" is a kids mentality, so show them how mature you are and report it. They wont throw away their future just for some memes and hopfully learn a harsh lesson on growing the fuck up and showing basic human decency.

 

[thefragrance]

Bunch of little bitches. Easier said than done because this type of shit is annoying and definitely can hurt, but try your best to see them for what they are—namely a bunch of shitheads—and move on.

While getting out of work a bunch of undergrad kids were loitering the parking lot and were blatantly making homophobic jokes because of my clothes, which any guy my age coming out of work should be wearing, i.e anything other than gym shorts, joggers, track pants or whatever else every 12 year old and their moms are wearing. I was taken years back to my years in middle school where I last faced all kinds of harassment and bullying. It's so annoying and off-putting, but then I felt more amusement that these kids would even pay any attention to me at all and then just minded my own business.

 

[Corncob]

Snitch away. This is bullying and harassment. They sound like a bunch of pathetic morons.

 

[Syder]

Self harm scars when I wear short sleeves

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This is so far over the line, these people sound evil. Report them.

 

[diakyu]

You don't pay to get bullied at college, report em

 

[Little Old Man]

If this was a workplace you would report them (I would hope anyway). No different here.

 

[Moppeh]

They are assholes. Just fucking ignore them and do your best in class and move on with your life. If it continues to be an issue and it is getting in the way of your studies, you basically have three options:
1. Confront some of those little fuckers
2. Report it to an appropriate authority
3. Change your behavior

You can do none, some, or all of these things. As for the third point, I only bring it up for introspection and self-improvement reasons. You are who you are and like you what you like, you shouldn't change things to appease a bunch of assholes. But at the same time, you can use this as an opportunity to grow, maybe hit the gym and build some confidence. Once again, any positive change you choose to make as a result from this should be because its something you want to do, and not something you feel you need to do because some nineteen year olds can't contain their desire to be dicks.

 

[Deleted member 3815]

I'm 26 years old. That feels like a dumb kid thing.

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It's not, university have a duty of care towards their student and should Uni a safe space for their students. Plus from what you have mention in what area they make fun of you, that is ground for being fired or suspended from work.

It is not a dumb kid thing and you should not be suffering in silent.

3. Change your behavior

You can do none, some, or all of these things. As for the third point, I only bring it up for introspection and self-improvement reasons. You are who you are and like you what you like, you shouldn't change things to appease a bunch of assholes. But at the same time, you can use this as an opportunity to grow, maybe hit the gym and build some confidence. Once again, anything positive change you choose to make as a result from this should be because its something you want to do, and not something you feel you need to do because some nineteen year olds can't contain their desire to be dicks.

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There is no need for you to say that shit as you are not being supportive or helpful and just telling OP to conform to appease the students.

 

[Brakke]

That's some petty petty shit. Good on that guy for telling you, at least.

I think it's worth reporting somewhere if you're up to it. If this clique is really ridiculing you for self-harm scars, that's dangerous. Imagine them mocking someone in a more vulnerable state over something similar. You're not running to teacher, you're demanding a safe environment for yourself and on behalf of others.

Who the fuck makes fun of someone for being tall

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Sounds like some bitch eating crackers kinda thing. It's not that tallness deserves ridicule, it's that "we're gunna attack that dude and whatever we can try, flies."

 

[Polaroid_64]

Being tall? Like ok.

But of harm scars? I am pretty sure that crosses a certain line. I would try to focus on school but if it continues, fuck em. Make an official report, see how fun that is for them. The school is not going to take such a report lightly.

 

[Bigwombat]

Oh man that's a tough situation to be in. I was 25 when I finished my first year of americorps and most of the people in my class were teens or early 20s. It doesn't seem like much but there was an obvious maturity level difference that was striking even though I can definitely be childish.

You can ignore it, confront them, or turn them in. Ignoring it will probably piss you off and make you anxious (it would to me). Turning them in will make you more of a pariah in their eyes and confronting them would be difficult and might not have a beneficial ending for anyone.

Could you mention it to your teacher or lead your teacher to find it without you directly implicating them? Like if it's on a school discussion board could your teacher find it and address everyone in class about being mature and saying that this is unacceptable? People will probably balk at that but if you have to work with these kids on projects and stuff I'll trying to think of the best way to have it be addressed without further harassment or retribution. Obviously it bothered the person who showed it to you as well so maybe they could say something?

 

[Deleted member 58401]

Damn. People are evil. This is such juvenile crap, and I'm sorry you have to deal with a bunch of immature shitheads at age 26.

Don't feel like it's childish to turn them in, though. The shitheads are the children in this scenario.

 

[IBLiSTRiGGER]

op, i'd report this to your uni's title ix. making fun of you for symptoms of something that often stems from a mental or emotional illness very likely falls under harassment of a protected class.

if your office is any good, they'll talk to you about next steps. it doesn't have to be fire and brimstone if you don't want it to be. they can keep your anonymity too if you're worried about that... again, if they're any good.

i'm sorry, either way. that's horrific. people can be so unbelievably cruel.