What weird, but benign and non-sexual, things do you and your SO do/say to each other?

[healbite-maritima]

A: Hello There!
B: *wheezing voice* General Kenobi!

A: Peas? (As in please)
B: Sugar Peas?
A: Drop them!
B: Okay!

*General quacking noises*

 

[Daniagatha]

me: babe, i have a secret
hubby: yes?
me: i love you
hubby:*acts like this*

 

[Weltall Zero]

why would you not do this tbh

Click to shrink...

Yeah, a lot of these replies are like couples 101. We're here for the odd stuff, people.

I remembered another one, "the owl". There was this video of an owl that when threatened, turns its head sideways, flattening it and narrowing its eyes. It looks extremelly pissed off, so now when someone does something that annoys the other, we turn our body sideways and make the same face. And of course the other replies "don't you owl me!".
Here's the video (at 1:05).


Ah, another one: when someone finishes eating something we both like, we sing this, with "your" instead of "my", and the food item:


Then the other sings this, with the other's name and again the food item (bonus points if it's actually fries!):

Basically I rub/tickle her feet while she pets my head. I totally forgot how it started but the gist of it is when she was little her mom and dad used to rub/tickle her feet and it relaxed her. My parents used to do the same to me but it was petting/scratching my head. We do this almost every night before we fall asleep.

Click to shrink...

This is so adorable I'm grinning ear to ear. <3

"Do you want to try my sandwich?"
"No, I'm okay"
"The sandwich is symbolic of my love. Why do you reject my love?" *creepy stare*

Click to shrink...

I'm SO stealing this, OMG. :D

Also she just reminded me of another, it's a Spanish comic strip so probably hard to find, but it goes something like:

- You went to the kitchen and didn't ask me if I wanted something?
- Sorry, did you want something?
- No.

 

[Daniagatha]

I don't know if it's weird but my husband and I like to talk about our crushes.

 

[Weltall Zero]

We "eat" each other sometimes. To do this, you make a sort of pinching motion with all the fingers on one hand while you touch part of the other person's body, quickly pull it away like you just pulled something off of them, and then pretend like you're eating it. It only takes two or three bites before you're full. Neck meat is the sweetest because it makes the other person get defensive.

Click to shrink...

Stealing this as well. :D

We "eat" each other sometimes. To do this, you make a sort of If one of us farts audibly in front of the other, we will sometimes punctuate it by saying, "And so on."

Click to shrink...

Fart commentary could fill a whole page. She's fond of saying "wow, there's a storm" while I just solemnly announce "I farted", especially when it was plenty clear, then she replies "thanks for the update".

She also just reminded me of a few more (she has a lot better memory than myself), like how recently, after watching a specific episode of JoJo part 3, randomly saying "chumimin!" in a high-pitched voice usually gets a laugh out of the other.

Also, I guess being the last person to finishing delicious food (or otherwise doing something that may humorously annoy the other) is common enough we have a whole pletora of these, like "some ill-intentioned person ate / did [whatever]" or "these things just happen, no need to look for someone to blame".

 

[bananab]

Perkily repeatedly greet each other, "hi! Hi! oh hi! hi! hi!"

When she's doing basically anything: "...she's doin' it."

If either of us is acting silly, the other explains it to the pets.

 

[SwampBastard]

Fart commentary could fill a whole page. She's fond of saying "wow, there's a storm" while I just solemnly announce "I farted", especially when it was plenty clear, then she replies "thanks for the update".

Click to shrink...

It really could. She is fond of hitting me with, "Butt did you say? I fart you said something." if I happen to make some underleg noises within earshot.

Also, I guess being the last person to finishing delicious food (or otherwise doing something that may humorously annoy the other) is common enough we have a whole pletora of these, like "some ill-intentioned person ate / did [whatever]" or "these things just happen, no need to look for someone to blame".

Click to shrink...

I have a version of this, too. "I don't want to alarm you, but it would seem that someone broke in here and ate the last of the ham."

 

[Sunster]

I poke her side when I walk by her.

We refer to colds as "rhinos" because of an episode of House MD we watched years ago.

We address each other as my love. which honestly wouldn't have been my first choice as a pet name but she really likes it and i'm used to it now.

 

[astro]

She licks my face because she knows it creeps me out and she likes to see me suffer.

I remind her of the first date where she tried to seduce me by taking me back to her room (she didn't, we were just stopping off there quickly). She usually tries to lick my face when I do this.

 

[SmackDaddy]

• We make dog noises (awoo, urf, bork, etc) at each other constantly
• So many puns all the time
• I go to bed way before her every night, and sometimes I'll say "I go bed" repeatedly as I make my way to the bedroom, and then I'll hide and peek up at her and repeat it more, and then I'll go to the bedroom close the door then open it and say it one or two more times
• We have slang words we use for things: sneep = sleep, soz = sorry, etc
• So so many boops on the nose
• Also so many butt touches

Click to shrink...

This 'i go bed' bit is classic lol

 

[MechaX]

Sometimes instead of hugging, we T-pose aggressively as a show of dominance

 

[BarryFishFinger]

I have a version of this, too. "I don't want to alarm you, but it would seem that someone broke in here and ate the last of the ham."

Click to shrink...

Almost word for word this is what I do. Sometimes I like to do it with my mouth full as I'm clearly eating the last *whatever*. "I don't want to alarm you, but someone broke in and ate the last porkpie". Muffled speech, crumbs.

 

[Weltall Zero]

It really could. She is fond of hitting me with, "Butt did you say? I fart you said something." if I happen to make some underleg noises within earshot.

I have a version of this, too. "I don't want to alarm you, but it would seem that someone broke in here and ate the last of the ham."

Click to shrink...

Yeah, I would guess it's common, hahah. We particularly like the wording "un desaprensivo ha [whatever]". "Desaprensivo" is a rather old-fashioned and seldom used word, meaning "unscrupulous person" or "miscreant" (literally, "someone without apprehension").

I just remembered one she loves to do: pick a cat up and make them mock "dance" while humming this from Phineas and Ferb (itself a parody of the carameldansen):


Actually she'll do it with any catchy or upbeat song that starts playing...

 

[Distantmantra]

My wife and I unironically love the Quiznos Spongmonkey commercials from the mid 00s and still sing the songs together all the time. Our daughter is so confused.

 

[Dis]

I'm British and my wife is Mexican who has lived in texas since 2001, I'm the first British person she met in real life and she always tries to do a "British accent". Problem is she does lines from super old movies like Oliver twist etc for some reason and then looks at me waiting for me to tell her it was a good accent......hasn't happened yet haha, but she keeps trying every day in hope she can pull it off one day. It's pretty funny and adorable because I keep having to tell her that the UK has an insane amount of different accents for such a small island nation and that my accent isn't the one she hears in movies, old or New, but according to her it is......hahaha.

We also have a bunch of inside jokes that no one else would ever understand and usually we just make one word comments and we both know what it means haha.

One of our more common things we joke about is we always say "you're the worst" to each other, we're joking and say it over anything really but when we started doing it, my mother in law had no idea it was a joke and was so confused haha.

 

[Cloud-Hidden]

100% of the time when my wife says she's running low on nut butter, I say "I've got your nut butter right here."
We also use wet wipes in addition to toilet paper when we poop. We both write them on the grocery list as "poopy butt wipes."