My first attempt at college was an absolute failure. I was already incredibly depressed and burnt out coming out of high school. Absolutely zero self esteem for anything besides my ability to do school work. So if I didn't perform perfectly, I completely broke down. I dropped out after only a month. Had a full ride and small stipend too.
My second attempt at college was going to art school. I wanted to get as far away from academic disciplines as possible. I somehow managed to pull together a good enough portfolio only one year of drawing seriously and got into an art school in NYC. Moving to NYC and going to that school is probably one of the best decisions I've ever made. I ended up transferring out after only one year, but the change in my mental and emotional health in that one year was worth it. Being able to actually go places on my own and be independent (not financially, but just having to take care of myself) was great after growing up in a household where I wasn't allowed to drive or go anywhere without my parents or sister taking me.
I was also able to actually make friends and get along with people. I don't know if it's because everyone's a fucking dork in art school or if I just felt more confident, but once I came out of my shell I had a very easy time meeting new people. I met two of the most important people in my life at the school, and another during the same time while I was there. The other thing that happened was that guys were suddenly interested in me, which had never been a thing before. I still have a lot of body image issues, but I can concede that my personality seems to make up for that. I didn't date actively since by the time most of these guys asked me out, I had already gotten into a relationship (which is still going strong eight years later!). Mentally, I learned how to cope with not being perfect at every given task, being okay with just learning for the sake of learning, and being okay with failure.
However, despite all the good, I quickly realized that there was no way I would be competitive in such a hard field as illustration. My best friends are at the top of their class, and even they haven't been able to break into the industry. So I transferred to one of the CUNY's to study my original major, Statistics. I'm still a bit of a perfectionist, but I was no longer paralyzed by fear of failure and could actually get through the work. My partner moved in with me at some point and I kept my friends from art school. I was still friendly, but I realized I didn't have the emotional capacity and time to have a larger group of friends. Only club I joined was a comic book club, but I didn't really get along with anyone in it. I almost completely focused on academics. It was a little difficult living with two people who had finished school and were working 9 - 5 because they had so much more free time than I did. Boring academic bragging: I won a prestigious fellowship that paid for my tuition and gave me a sizable stipend. I spent the summers at two world class universities. If I hadn't been a transfer student, I would have graduated as a Salutatorian.
So to recap, took three tries to finally finish, but I finished strong. Only one year was really spent focusing on socializing, and even then I didn't really party, just hung out with people and had fun. After that year I focused pretty intensively on academics because I'm a dork.
