-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
-
We have made minor adjustments to how the search bar works on ResetEra. You can read about the changes here.
What motivates people to have children?
- Thread starter ToddBonzalez
- Start date
For the vast majority of people (that won't make an impact on art or industry), it's an opportunity to learn and teach as well as to pass on and be remembered.
Unless you make the history books, it's the only part of you that lives on aside from some cool deals at an estate sale.
Unless you make the history books, it's the only part of you that lives on aside from some cool deals at an estate sale.
This would be awesome if by having some part of you, some name on a ship, or a continued effect on people I'd actually be living on somehow (ghost? This would probably suck), but in reality I'd still be dead as a rock. It's like if teleportation is eventually created and when you use it you die but your copy is you living on. I'd never teleport unless I was done living because the copy won't be me. (Recently watched the Breaking Bad line reading where they talk about teleportation and copies. Trippy).
You sound incredibly fortunate, I don't know many people that could afford that even without a kid.
What can come across wrong is do you know people aren't all like that?
Personally I don't want a kid because there's no drive, likely because I've not even met anyone I could spend my life with and I don't think I'd be a good parent, or financially stable.
For regeneration and evolution. People will have various reasons to justify the logic behind it, but at the end of the day it is the force of evolution. It has been planted inside human's brain since day 1 of earth
Kids tend to throw tantrums because they are hungry or tired, have a mid day chill session for some rest or swimming at the pool. If you try to power thru all day long everyone will be cranky.
Well, I guess it's the idea that your experiences and values will mean something to future generations. My grandparents are aging, but they taught me a lot and I'll pass it forward. That adds weight to everyday interactions. No, I won't know then, but I know now (for better or worse).
A deafeningly loud biological clock once I hit my late 20s is what did it for me.
I think my attitude changed overnight from "I hate children and I never want one" to "kids are awesome and I don't want to spend the next 30 years of my life screwing around and spending money on myself for the sake of it"
I think my attitude changed overnight from "I hate children and I never want one" to "kids are awesome and I don't want to spend the next 30 years of my life screwing around and spending money on myself for the sake of it"
It's selfish, but I'd don't necessarily think that is a negative. Parenting is not for everyone and i don't bregrudge anyone for not wanting It. It is a major life change and you do have to make personal concessions because now you have another little life that is wholly dependent on you.
User Banned (2 weeks): Making light of mental disabilities; hostile generalizations of an entire community.
Let's face it, a non-insignificant swathe of era has some form of mental or learning incapacity which limits their ability to be empathetic or use logic/reason to understand why something as socially and behaviourally common as having kids is a thing.
This isn't me being hostile in any way, but at this point it's pretty blatant. There's a fair population here who just don't understand societal norms or how the vast majority of humans think. It's frustrating but also kinda sad.
You don't know that that won't change. Guess if your spouse became disabled to the point of needing personal case, you'd not want them anymore?
Last edited:
as a father of a 15 weeks old boy I can subscribe to this. Sure I have not as much time to game as before, but I don't care. I love (and this word doesn't fully describe how much I love my son) him so much. He is everything for me. Keep in mind that I needed to get 30 to develop any kind of interest in children at all. And I live on a continent where healthcare and education are part of the social system so I don't have to empty my savings. In a year we will even get money from the state for the child to help with the expenses.
I mean, having a person that is a combination of you and your favourite other person is a big one for me. Have 2 girls and they are hard work but I wouldnt change a thing.
Some of you sound like teenage edgelords.
I don't have a kid nor plan on one anytime soon but from my experiences with my little nephews I can see why I would want to have children. To raise another human being must be very fulfilling. To create life with the person you love, to raise a good person and a good human being, to relive experiences with them and through their own eyes, to continue your bloodline, to have a meaning in life, someone to leave your stuff to, to have someone who'll love and care for you, because it's natural...
It might be different in some parts of the world, tho. I hear a lot of things about American teens having to leave their home and become independent at just 18. Where I live, it's not like that. Living at your parent's is perfectly normal well into your 20s. Hell, when I finish my education and hopefully get a job I can do from home, I'll move back to my parent's place. Because it's nice there and because I love them and don't want to leave them all by themselves after they've done and sacrificed so much for me and my sister to have a good life. Family values are really different in different parts of the world.
I don't have a kid nor plan on one anytime soon but from my experiences with my little nephews I can see why I would want to have children. To raise another human being must be very fulfilling. To create life with the person you love, to raise a good person and a good human being, to relive experiences with them and through their own eyes, to continue your bloodline, to have a meaning in life, someone to leave your stuff to, to have someone who'll love and care for you, because it's natural...
It might be different in some parts of the world, tho. I hear a lot of things about American teens having to leave their home and become independent at just 18. Where I live, it's not like that. Living at your parent's is perfectly normal well into your 20s. Hell, when I finish my education and hopefully get a job I can do from home, I'll move back to my parent's place. Because it's nice there and because I love them and don't want to leave them all by themselves after they've done and sacrificed so much for me and my sister to have a good life. Family values are really different in different parts of the world.
They're already born, they're gonna deal with it with or without you. what would you like to do with all those children needing adoption that would lessen the ecological stress? Kill them?
I don't think there's much instinct to it, biology tricks you by making sex feel really good but most societies have produced some form of contraception to have the fun and not fuck up your life.
Hahaha. I wonder if that kid grew up to be vegan if his ecological footprint would shrink considerably?
Basically. Rational reasons are secondary to these drives.
there's no greater obstacle to playing games than posting on a video game message board.
I get that dogs can be cute sometimes, but that seems to be the only pro versus a long list of cons on having a dog as a pet. The 2 biggest negatives are definitely the financial burden and the inconveniences to your life. I mean why is it worth it?
Mostly kidding with the above but it might help give some perspective to the OP and others who can't understand why people have kids.
I also need to remind myself whenever this comes up on Resetera that most of the posters that don't want kids are still rather young. I remember having conversations exactly like the OP with friends of mine when we were teenagers. We all said we would never have kids and I know I for sure didn't want them. Guess what - we all have kids now and I think we are happier for it. People change as they mature and the things that matter to the OP become less important.
Mostly kidding with the above but it might help give some perspective to the OP and others who can't understand why people have kids.
I also need to remind myself whenever this comes up on Resetera that most of the posters that don't want kids are still rather young. I remember having conversations exactly like the OP with friends of mine when we were teenagers. We all said we would never have kids and I know I for sure didn't want them. Guess what - we all have kids now and I think we are happier for it. People change as they mature and the things that matter to the OP become less important.
Of course, but it's not a given which is what the person I was responding to was suggesting.
Last edited:
Not everybody on Era lives in the US? lol expand your horizons OP, education in Canada is nowhere as expensive as the states. Daycare can be had for as little as 7 dollars a day depending on your income up to 20 ( or more if you go private ) healthcare is free.
So yeah you need to be fiscally responsible still but it's way more manageable.
So yeah you need to be fiscally responsible still but it's way more manageable.
I don't know if I'd want to have a kid out of boredom and I also feel like it's not good to have a kid out of the pressure of turning 30. I hate the idea that once you're 30, people expect you to be getting married and having kids.
I'm childless and in my late 20s and your daughter has been to more countries than I have. I think you might have to consider that most people are not as fortunate to have the money and time to do what you do. That's simply not realistic for most people.
Also, I've personally never understood taking a very young kid traveling around the world. I'm not sure if they would even remember or appreciate it at such a young age and it seems like such an extra expense when you could take them somewhere they would enjoy just as much without the large cost. And taking babies/toddler/little kids on airplanes seems like a nightmare. More power to you if you enjoy it, I just couldn't begin to understand it in my life (or afford it.)
If your life is boring in your 30s without kids, that's entirely on you.
Children are not a "cure for boredom" anyway, that's a terrible reason to have them.
i feel like as i'm getting closer to 30 i warm to the idea of having kids more but nbd if I don't. it's never been a life long ambition
Going by the few that I know that actually 'want' to have children, it appears to be a sense of duty and obligation that compel them to have children, rather than an actual wish to undergo the process of having children voluntarily.
One particular person I remember speaking with, they outright rejected the option of adopting children, even though I implored that the option of adoption is a far more ethical choice for the sake of the environment, and giving the adopted a good secure home to live in. They insisted regardless on having a wife and kids sired from her, no matter what.
He was or is a religious man.
Of course, everyone else could see that he was flaming gay.
It's completely alien to me. It looks completely irresponsible to me to have children for such a reason.
But, I'm not those people. Even if I disagree with what appears to be their motivation. So I guess I'm not allowed to judge
Of course, I'm far less concerned about the people that want to have children to pass down skills, but I still reckon the most ethical option is adoption. Population issues, and all the other ethical arguments.
One particular person I remember speaking with, they outright rejected the option of adopting children, even though I implored that the option of adoption is a far more ethical choice for the sake of the environment, and giving the adopted a good secure home to live in. They insisted regardless on having a wife and kids sired from her, no matter what.
He was or is a religious man.
Of course, everyone else could see that he was flaming gay.
It's completely alien to me. It looks completely irresponsible to me to have children for such a reason.
But, I'm not those people. Even if I disagree with what appears to be their motivation. So I guess I'm not allowed to judge
Of course, I'm far less concerned about the people that want to have children to pass down skills, but I still reckon the most ethical option is adoption. Population issues, and all the other ethical arguments.
Sex is fun
Kids are awesome
Downside? No sleep or money but still. I would trade my tribe for the world.
Kids are awesome
Downside? No sleep or money but still. I would trade my tribe for the world.
I was fairly neutral about kids. I didn't get why people thought they were special. I was never good with kids, but I didn't dislike them the way so many people here do.
When I had kids, I did it mostly for my wife. She always really wanted kids in her life, and I was well aware of that throughout our relationship, and I was okay with the idea. So we did. I was incredibly awkward around my kid at first, but I learned.
I have to say that it's a very different feeling when you're around your own kid. Your kid is adorable. Your kid is incredibly cuddly. When you hold your kid, see him smile, or watch him figure something out right in front of you, it's the best feeling in the world.
You know how if you were getting a friend or SO into something you're really into, and you feel happy for them when you see them like it or get better at it? It's like that for your kid, except it happens every day and on a different order of magnitude. Your kid is learning everything from scratch. You're watching and guiding them to grow as a person, and it's incredibly rewarding to see it happen.
As for cute? I never really understood people thinking kids were cute until I had one. It's like looking at your SO vs looking at a random person. The person you love always looks special to you.
Yes, parenting can be hard and often it's the hard parts that other people see from an outside perspective. It's natural that everyone remembers the one loud crying kid in the mall and doesn't notice the dozen strollers with happy and quiet babies all around them (seriously, I really didn't notice how many strollers there are everywhere until I had a kid). But the good parts of parenting more than make up for the bad parts.
Honestly, if you don't want to have kids, that's fine. That's a perfectly fine choice. I don't get why there's so much hate or judgement directed between people who want kids and people who don't.
When I had kids, I did it mostly for my wife. She always really wanted kids in her life, and I was well aware of that throughout our relationship, and I was okay with the idea. So we did. I was incredibly awkward around my kid at first, but I learned.
I have to say that it's a very different feeling when you're around your own kid. Your kid is adorable. Your kid is incredibly cuddly. When you hold your kid, see him smile, or watch him figure something out right in front of you, it's the best feeling in the world.
You know how if you were getting a friend or SO into something you're really into, and you feel happy for them when you see them like it or get better at it? It's like that for your kid, except it happens every day and on a different order of magnitude. Your kid is learning everything from scratch. You're watching and guiding them to grow as a person, and it's incredibly rewarding to see it happen.
As for cute? I never really understood people thinking kids were cute until I had one. It's like looking at your SO vs looking at a random person. The person you love always looks special to you.
Yes, parenting can be hard and often it's the hard parts that other people see from an outside perspective. It's natural that everyone remembers the one loud crying kid in the mall and doesn't notice the dozen strollers with happy and quiet babies all around them (seriously, I really didn't notice how many strollers there are everywhere until I had a kid). But the good parts of parenting more than make up for the bad parts.
Honestly, if you don't want to have kids, that's fine. That's a perfectly fine choice. I don't get why there's so much hate or judgement directed between people who want kids and people who don't.
Yes to this. I get that many here and elsewhere choose not to have kids. For all kinds of reasons and that's totally fine. But to be oblivious to the reasons why people have kids it amazing to me. Some people really seem to have checked out of society.
On the flip side, at least these questions are asked. There's a genuine interest there and I think lots of times the answers people give like "you can't understand until you have a kid", aren't helping at all. People have kids for countless reasons. We had ours because we've always liked kids and felt it was finally time. We waited along time, focusing on careers, among other things. But at almost 40 years old we figured it was time. Luckily we had a perfectly healthy girl. While everyone's experience is different, ours has been the best experience in our lives. I wouldn't trade these last five years with our daughter for anything as they've been the best in my entire life. My daughter gives fulfillment like nothing I've ever experienced. Kids instantly become the most important thing in your life.
I really, really enjoy playing with my two children. I have a hard time imagining or even believing that I would have more fun with other adults than I do with my own children. It's the best stress reliever that I have experienced. They love and adore me and I feel the same way about them.
I think we're also wired to get attached to things, especially offspring if we have them. For example, say you had a dog for a year or more, eventually or within months you would find it hard to imagine life without that dog. Now let's try something crazier, what if it was an elephant. It could be the most annoying and inconvenient thing to raise but you will get attached to it. And these two can't even speak a language. You could have the most racist father in the world, and he nearly kills you when you show up to his house with your not 1000% pure blue baby, but after a while it'll break through his defenses and he too could never imagine life without that green kid. Of course he will say his half blue half yellow kid is different and still hate all yellow people.