What made you lose complete sympathy/respect for a friend?

[Baphomet]

My friend and I were pretty good friends, he was fun dude. he died in 2014 and I was bit sad when I heard the news but as soon as I found out how he died , I lost any positive feelings I had for him (He was drunk driving, going 100+ miles on the freeway in the afternoon , he hit a divider wall , the friend that was with him died instantly since both were super drunk and not wearing seatbelts. My friend had burns on 90% of his body so he didn;t last long), I was little mad at what a fucking dumbass he was and now I am only glad that he didn't kill anyone else.

 

[Trouble]

Repeatedly trying to push some pseudoscience garbage to me for a loved one's medical condition and linking me Joe Rogan's podcast for evidence.

This was pre-Covid.

 

[TheBrokenMan]

A friend and his brother are anti vaxxers. Living in a house with elderly parents + grand parents, an infant and a toddler. Literally their own kids and parents.

I tried to tell them to get vaxx'd for the sake of their kids and parents and despite that they still refused.

Knew them for a good 6 years. Now I just keep an arms distance and only text them when they text me first.

 

[Nothing Loud]

Anti-vaxxing is a shortcut to my shit list. I had just made a new friend via a Seattle meet up friends Facebook group, she was this nice girl from Dallas, where I used to live. We started fb messaging to ask how her transition to Seattle was, then I said we should hang out sometime. She said she wasn't vaccinated. I asked why, was it a personal decision? She said yes but she doesn't judge anyone for having or not having the vaccine. I gave her a little bit of sympathy because she was black and black people have a bad history with medical ethics in the USA, but really I instantly blocked her and moved on. I'm a fucking scientist/bioengineer and I told her this, so the audacity to admit to me that you're willingly unvaccinated, not sure why you think I could be friends with you. If you're willingly unvaccinated, 99% chance your impression to me will be that you're dumb, selfish trash, straight up.

 

[diakyu]

I have a similar story actually op. I had a friend in my youth group back when I was a teenager. One night I was with another friend who was at my house, and thank god for that because he was best friends with this other guy, when we got a call from another friend who was in tears. Apparently our friend was drunk driving and crashed. He had another kid with him, someone a lot younger than us. This kid died before the ambulance even got there. My friend survived with no big injuries.

I went to visit the surviving friend/drunk driver at the hospital with everyone and what a fucking show that was. I had no sympathy to share for him like everyone else did. Fuck him.

 

[Idde]

Learned through a mutual friend that that friend was planning on getting a girl somewhere in South America pregnant, so he had a way to migrate there.

Yeah...

 

[JaseMath]

My (former) best friend sexually assaulted my ex-wife, so... yeah. That.

 

[John Rabbit]

Repeatedly kept trying to convert me to Mormonism and generally adopting shitbag right-wing attitudes.

 

[EntelechyFuff]

My best friend for many years was actually my bully in grade school. For various reasons we were thick as thieves until my late 20s, when I realized I was afraid to talk to him about my then girlfriend because I was worried he would say something mean about her.

So it wasn't something he did exactly, it was more like realizing after all these years he was still my bully the whole time. I completely cut him off at that moment of realization.

 

[It’s Time To Go]

I had my two good friends (who had stolen a whole bunch of money off me but i was choosing to not acknowledge that) and we were sitting in a fast food place. One of the friends had just started a new job and i asked him how it was going. He said 'yeah its grand, shame that area is full of dirty n-words'. I was like woah what the fuck dude, and he was like what its true they are they don't want to work they're disgusting. And i was like dude thats mega racist and the other friend backed him up, and that was the end of that friendship right there.

 

[Torpedo Vegas]

Them moving to North Carolina 12 hours away while his mother was in the worst part of her MS.

 

[B.K.]

I've got a cousin on my mom's side of the family that I've written off. He is about 10 years older than me.When I was younger, I always liked it when he came around because I didn't see him often. One day, he and his parents just disappeared. His dad was insane. He constantly thought the FBI and CIA were after him. They were constantly moving from place to place, but they would at least let my mom and grandma know where they were going. This time, it was five or six years before we found out where they were at. I only saw him once or twice after that. He spent a few years in prison for things I don't want to talk about. When he got out, did more things I don't want to say and is now going to spend the rest of his life in prison. He wrote me a letter about 10 or 12 years ago, but it went straight into the trash, unopened.

My mom's side of the family is completely screwed up.

 

[scottbeowulf]

Anti-vaxx, maga shit, general Republican news links... basically all conservative crap. I can handle my friends having different political affiliations. But I don't need crazy all caps conspiracy shit beamed at me every hour. And there's alot of them that are like that.

 

[Vonocourt]

I had a friend who routinely let me down/gaslit me/verbally abusive towards me. We had moved cross country, he'd tried to get me to sign a lease to a car I couldn't afford, and then he dipped when he saw the car his parents paid for was a lemon and the situation he was in was real. I stayed for over a year later until a string of bad circumstances and eventually moved back.

One night we hung out, and the frustration of it manifested at work the next day with me getting really overheated over some nerd argument about Aliens/Blade Runner and I realized it was because of the night prior.

I ghosted him.

 

[TransEuropaExpress]

Good friend of mine joined the Hell's Angels a few years ago, that was that for me. Not hanging around that shit.

 

[The Hobo]

He used to lash out and hit people whenever he got angry. I just got sick of it.

 

[BannerThief]

Learned one of my best friends for nearly two decades plays games with inverted stick controls. It's like I never knew him at all.

 

[samoscratch]

We were talking about BLM at the time and he told me black folks deserve what happens to them and they play the victim. When they're shot it's because they're not complying. This guy is an amazing artist and we really bonded over that in the past but hadn't spoken for like 10 years. I was beyond disappointed and had to cut him out.

 

[riotous]

Had a couple I knew start having kids, and the husband proudly proclaimed they'd teach their children being gay was wrong/potentially disown them.

I just couldn't do it, couldn't offer my friendship to people proudly spreading bigotry and potentially committing horrible mental abuse on a child if they were not fitting of their view of who someone should be attracted to.

The kicker was the usual stuff; he had gay relationships in college, seemed to be far more attracted to men in general, and his wife was desperate for outside physical attention, seemingly because he wasn't interested outside of child rearing. Real mindfuck Christian couple kind of thing. The wife also became super preachy with my ex, who had never had an abortion, when she said she would if she got pregnant. And of course, that wife had numerous abortions (nothing wrong with that) when she was younger. Just generally people who partied and lived open lives in their 20s, you'd think "finding themselves" but then turn 30 start having kids and revert back to their culty brainwashing from their parents.

 

[Embedded]

Support of far right parties.
Religious beliefs.

I don't want to listen again to them saying how great our nation used to be or that homosexuality is wrong because the Bible says so.

It's funny how i should respect their faith to an imaginary friend but the feelings of our fellow human beings are meaningless to them.
Screw them.

 

[Annubis]

I cut ties with a friend of mine because he never reached adulthood mentally. At one point I realized that I was done making excuses for him being immature while in his 30s.
Being youthful at heart is one thing, but at some point, you have to carry yourself and assume your own responsibilities.

 

[Meliah]

Her opinions of vaccinations and learning that she was truly a conspiracy nut.

Also that she didn't believe in dinosaurs because SURELY they couldn't reproduce with how big they were... =_=

 

[Deleted member 93841]

A friend of mine recently told me that his brother uninvited him to his wedding, because my friend and his wife aren't vaccinated. They think they were wronged and haven't spoken to his brother since it happened. My friend has no problem being vaccinated, but his wife is anti-vax and he doesn't want to make her angry.

It's just disgusting for me. He missed out on a very important day in his brother's life, all because he's caving to his wife's irrational beliefs about the vaccine.

 

[Deleted member 9241]

Many, many years ago I knew a dude. We were pretty close friends and hung out all the time when I lived in Arkansas. When FB first became a thing, we found one another and exchanged phone numbers and probably talked once or twice. Well, like a decade goes by and we're just kind of "FB Friends" at this point. Well, I get a call at like, fucking 3am from this friend. I answer but instead of my friend, it was some woman on the phone. I was tired and kind of confused with wtf was happening and she says something like "Hey, you probably don't know me but I am Jon's girlfriend. I just wanted to let you know that Jon just got taken to jail for beating me until I couldn't stand up. I have his phone and I am calling every person in his contacts and letting them personally know that your friend/relative/whatever beats women and I want you to remember this call and what I told you whenever you see his face again.".

I was like "Goddman lady, scorched earth. Good for you"

Now, it has been many years since then and his FB account was closed (because she had access to that too) and he never made another. I find out he died of COVID not too long ago. Apparently, he turned into a diehard Trumper/antivaxx/Evangelical monster. I immediately remembered that phone call and everything slid into place. He absolutely 100% totally beat that woman.

 

[Dodongo]

1. When they handwaved racism and continued to vote for racist causes

2. When they sent a very religious, drunken anti-vax group text

 

[KtotheRoc]

They went full Trumper. It was fucking tragic.

 

[TransEuropaExpress]

Learned one of my best friends for nearly two decades plays games with inverted stick controls. It's like I never knew him at all.

Click to shrink...

LEAVE ME ALONE :(

 

[clearacell]

One of my younger lady friends made a Facebook post back in like 2018 with a bunch of "All lives matter" BS and I called her out on that in the comments. She later PM'd me saying I don't know her life and she has plenty of black friends. I could t respect her after she doubled down on it, not being able to see what "all lives matter" rhetoric really means.

 

[Vonocourt]

Learned one of my best friends for nearly two decades plays games with inverted stick controls. It's like I never knew him at all.

Click to shrink...

Oh, so they're a true connoisseur?

 

[Brandino]

I had a friend try to push the 'defend porperty' line of thought during the BLM protests. I think he's changed his view on that now though.

 

[Pancho]

Destroyed a marriage when they willingly got with someone who was married. Kind of lost respect for them.

 

[Necromanti]

Nothing quite as extreme as some of the other examples in the thread, but we just went in...very different directions. The flakiness was what ended our friendship, but it wasn't just that. It started more innocuous with getting into marketing and putting on a certain persona that was sort of off-putting. But it stopped being a mask after a certain point. Way too SV tech bro, way too hustle culture. An interest in "maximizing productivity" manifesting in health routines based on pseudoscience. Naturally, he has an NFT avatar on Twitter now (which I found out just now), so I guess there goes the last of my respect.

 

[Menome]

Friend in high school.

Joined a full-on fascist group when we hit college. Shaved heads, uniforms, red/white/black flags.

Cut off all ties and haven't seen or heard of them in nearly 20 years now.

 

[Tavernade]

Not as extreme as others, but I had a few friends growing up who, as we got older, I realised I was the only glue holding the friendship together (as they rarely if ever reached out to talk to me despite only a few years earlier being incredibly close, whereas I made it a point of keeping in touch). As an experiment I stopped messaging them (but continued to interact on social media)to see if they'd notice and reach out on their end instead. Four years later one did and then disappeared again.

 

[____]

Egregious lacks of self awareness

 

[TaySan]

I lost a lot of respect for my co workers when they went all out on the anti vax bullshit. They basically told me they don't care about my fathers health.

 

[Heliex]

Posting anti Vax shit on FB. We were really close a long time ago and then he stopped hanging out with me and our mutual friends turns out he fell down the conspiracy theorist rabbit hole around the time his even nuttier brother moved to the country.

 

[Stygian]

In 2020 a friend from junior high school, about 39 years, found out that his son from his first marriage died in a car accident. He had no emotions about it. He'd also turned into a huge trump supporting racist.
I sent him a text telling him he wouldn't hear from me for a long time, if ever. No contact from me since, although he did try texting me a few months later.

 

[lampeater]

Someone I was fairly close with in college who rarely updated Facebook out of the blue posted something along the lines of "People on welfare are lazy and should get a job" around tax season time (she's an accountant). I immediately removed her on the spot.
Wild that we were good friends during college and she was aware of my upbringing in a low-income household, and that she herself is from and went back to an area hit pretty damn hard by the recession immediately after we graduated.

 

[DarthSpider]

I feel very fortunate that I've never had to cut a friend loose because of bullshit. My parents on the other hand...

 

[VeryHighlander]

Friend called to borrow money. I was broke as fuck and couldn't help him. Hours later he calls again. He must've forgot he called me earlier until I actually picked up. He was embarrassed and came up with a BS reason why he called the second time as he realized. I instantly blocked him after I hung up. Was very insulting to think he was just going down his contact list asking anyone for money, and forgetting he asked one of his best friends in the span of hours. He's a man child coke head from what I heard recently. Good riddance.

 

[Strike]

Went really hard into Tea party bullshit after high school. Now he has humor of a 50 year old racist boomer. Unvaccinated too.

 

[loco]

They became a hardcore junky and would steal anything from anyone if it wasn't nailed down to the floor.

 

[Solomon Grundy]

Never happened.
I have an aquaintance, (not good friend) who voted Brexit. I strongly disagree with them but respect that they were prepared to discuss their views in a very non-brexity place, where most of his peers think he is a bit nuts now. For this guy it was 100% not a racism/anti-immigrant thing (he is a EU migrant), if it had been I wouldn't have any time for them.

 

[julia crawford]

Her opinions of vaccinations and learning that she was truly a conspiracy nut.

Also that she didn't believe in dinosaurs because SURELY they couldn't reproduce with how big they were... =_=

Click to shrink...

Dinosaurs had the real magnum dicks

Can you even imagine

 

[tiesto]

A close friend since HS got into conspiracy theories in the early 2010s... Alex Jones, "Loose Change", Obama birther, stuff like that... I didn't really think too much of it, just kinda laughed it off. Eventually, it got more and more excessive... culminating soon after Covid hit and he basically accused my brother (infectious disease doctor) and cousin (er doctor) of lying about Covid deaths. I decided to drop him like a hot potato then and there, even though he was pushing his luck with me beforehand (like when him and his wife decided to remain close friends with my ex, and give me the update on her life, even in front of my current gf [who ironically went to HS with the ex]). Later I found out he supported the Proud Boys, thought Sandy Hook was a staged event, globalists were planning on depopulating most of the world and the Covid vaccine was how, and that he was down in DC on Jan 6 with his wife and 2 babies protesting the election results, though he didn't storm the capital.

A few months later he texted me and is like "are you mad at me? I hope we can reconvene since we have a lot of history together"... *DELETE*

 

[DJGolfClap]

I lost my entire friend group in one swift pass as a 40 year-old when I came out as trans and began my transition. A core group of guy friends I'd known for over 25 years. I gave them a couple of years to accept me as myself, but it was very clear that they still saw me as one of the guys. We'd have board game nights etc., and the entire time they'd say the most misogynistic garbage as if there wasn't a woman sitting right across from them at the table. Constant misgendering and deadnaming, too. I had to basically cut them out of my life, which took a real toll on me.

 

[Truly Gargantuan]

I had a friend go Flat Earther.

 

[Akira86]

he saw me, i was drowning, and he would not lend a hand

 

[Karsha]

She was telling me how always her boyfriends were cheating on her until much later I realizes that they were all fianced and she knew still she went with it becoming their lover and telling me how they cheated on her with their girlfiend…as soon as I realized it I became cold toward her because I just couldn't trust anymore anything that she would say