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What is the longest time you have taken forgetting someone? (romantic relationship/interest)
- Thread starter lunanto
- Start date
I haven't forgotten any of my ex lovers, even one nigh stands.
Not having feelings for them is another thing. I really want to tell you exact data like "2 years, 3 months, 4 days", but i'm unable to because i just don't remember. The only thing i can tell is that i continued living my life and one day i woke up and the feelings were not there anymore.
Not having feelings for them is another thing. I really want to tell you exact data like "2 years, 3 months, 4 days", but i'm unable to because i just don't remember. The only thing i can tell is that i continued living my life and one day i woke up and the feelings were not there anymore.
I think it really depends on the strength of the relationship and what ultimately lead up the end of it. I'd say you never really "forget" as you tend to remember the best and worse parts down the line but you learn to live without.
With the exception of people capable of completely psychologically blanking the memory of someone out, you never forget. Your experiences make you who you are and and lovers are big experiences.
I feel like you never forget someone. Feelings are a different matter, but I feel like I will always care about them. Today is actually the three year anniversary of when my longest relationship ended. She dumped me on our nine year anniversary so I will always remember the date since it was on the same day. I still think about her day to day, so I cannot say that she is completely out of my mind. I think most people fall under the half the time you were together. Shit does get easier with time. When I think back to my past relationships, it always happened when I was not thinking about it.
I never forgot anyone of them, but the longest I had feeling for someone even after we broke and I continued living my life was like 6 years.
It didn't stop me from meeting other people and falling in love again, but even with other people, my mind was still thinking about that person.
It didn't stop me from meeting other people and falling in love again, but even with other people, my mind was still thinking about that person.
You wont forget them.
The impact they have on you will fade with time however. Also, as you get more experience (and more relationships both long and short) the impact each one will have will diminish.
I am 44 years old and I still remember my first *real* crush fondly. I also remember my first girlfriend, my first fiancée and all my one night stands (fortunately I've only had one wife to remember :D ).
Feelings will fade over time, but the memories remain (someone should write a song about that... /s).
The thing is, you don't want to forget, but you do want to move on. Every one of these experiences will help you grow, even the really painful ones. Case in point, I was engaged in my early 20s. This girl and I were mad in love. Then our lives took us in different directions and things went bad, because we loved those directions more that we loved each other. The hurt didn't go away for years. Then I discovered she married someone else and had kids through facebook... it was crushing (I was still single). But my life ended up taking me to great places. Lots of short and long term relationships. Eventually I met the one who became my wife.
Looking back, I'm glad it turned out the way it did. I wouldn't change anything for the world.
The impact they have on you will fade with time however. Also, as you get more experience (and more relationships both long and short) the impact each one will have will diminish.
I am 44 years old and I still remember my first *real* crush fondly. I also remember my first girlfriend, my first fiancée and all my one night stands (fortunately I've only had one wife to remember :D ).
Feelings will fade over time, but the memories remain (someone should write a song about that... /s).
The thing is, you don't want to forget, but you do want to move on. Every one of these experiences will help you grow, even the really painful ones. Case in point, I was engaged in my early 20s. This girl and I were mad in love. Then our lives took us in different directions and things went bad, because we loved those directions more that we loved each other. The hurt didn't go away for years. Then I discovered she married someone else and had kids through facebook... it was crushing (I was still single). But my life ended up taking me to great places. Lots of short and long term relationships. Eventually I met the one who became my wife.
Looking back, I'm glad it turned out the way it did. I wouldn't change anything for the world.
I still don't forget how my ex fcked another guy behind my back 13 yrs ago. I forgave her. But I don't forget.
I've dated people for years and got over them in a matter of months.
I've dated people for a month and it took years to get over them.
And by that I mean that even years after the fact you find yourself fondly thinking about that person. Or you're thinking "what the fuck was I thinking? Haha". It's different for everyone.
Ultimately, you never really forget since it's more of a sliding scale of acceptance until you're ready to get into a new relationship. New feelings eventually mask, suppress, and sometimes eliminate old feelings.
I've dated people for a month and it took years to get over them.
And by that I mean that even years after the fact you find yourself fondly thinking about that person. Or you're thinking "what the fuck was I thinking? Haha". It's different for everyone.
Ultimately, you never really forget since it's more of a sliding scale of acceptance until you're ready to get into a new relationship. New feelings eventually mask, suppress, and sometimes eliminate old feelings.
You don't quite forget, but it's not as dramatic as it sounds. For me it's like when I think of my best friend in school, or my crush in university - there are some fond memories and I really cared about them at that time, but now we're all in different places in our lives and everything is in the past (and for the better).
Around a year and 3 months after he ghosted me. Though more than just a romantic interest, he was also a childhood friend. So if you add the time in which he was supposedly also in agreement to keep the friendship afloat, a bit over 4 years.
Wish I could say it was a type of process, but it wasn't. I knew I had to move on when he ghosted me, though I still had some hope he may answer sooner or later. Though when his reaction to me sending a "Thank you for all the memories" message I prepared for my friends and university acquaintances when graduation came by, was to block me in all social media... it flipped a switch. I'm quick to sour on people, so I erased* all things related to him from my phone, and personal space. Sure, he comes to mind from time to time, but more than anything, it is as a remembrance of his hipocrisy and lies. He tried to do a balancing act his whole life, and at the end elected the side he said he hated. So if that is the route he wanted to take and he wasn't man enough to tell me face to face... well good luck in your life.
* As in throw into the deepest parts of my phone's contacts, messages and gallery. I like to keep record of everything, so I never actually delete anything from my phone or computer.
Wish I could say it was a type of process, but it wasn't. I knew I had to move on when he ghosted me, though I still had some hope he may answer sooner or later. Though when his reaction to me sending a "Thank you for all the memories" message I prepared for my friends and university acquaintances when graduation came by, was to block me in all social media... it flipped a switch. I'm quick to sour on people, so I erased* all things related to him from my phone, and personal space. Sure, he comes to mind from time to time, but more than anything, it is as a remembrance of his hipocrisy and lies. He tried to do a balancing act his whole life, and at the end elected the side he said he hated. So if that is the route he wanted to take and he wasn't man enough to tell me face to face... well good luck in your life.
* As in throw into the deepest parts of my phone's contacts, messages and gallery. I like to keep record of everything, so I never actually delete anything from my phone or computer.
I haven't truly "forgotten" past lovers and girlfriends. I still usually remember them. But in terms of getting over one? The longest was about a year, my ex from college/post grad. We dates for.... 4 years and I was crushed by the breakup. She right of course we should have broken up but I was in denial. Took me at least a year to truly get over it. I remember like 6mos in I was finally doing well moving on, and then I was at a bar and saw her with a group of her new friends hanging out with some guys, innocuous, and I was crushed. Sent me back like 4 or 5 months, my head was spinning, felt light headed, and while I left that bar shortly after all I could think was seeing her with these other guys and i was very emotionally weak about it.
Eventually I got over her but it took me a while. And then as I was truly getting over her I started sleeping around and getting a lot of success dating, and it was like a mix of those two things. Being emotionally ready to date and then also coincidentally having success dating. I had a great summer that year living it up all over the east coast. Settled down again that fall and was totally over her at that point. A couple years later we hung out around a college reunion and it was all totally fine.
Eventually I got over her but it took me a while. And then as I was truly getting over her I started sleeping around and getting a lot of success dating, and it was like a mix of those two things. Being emotionally ready to date and then also coincidentally having success dating. I had a great summer that year living it up all over the east coast. Settled down again that fall and was totally over her at that point. A couple years later we hung out around a college reunion and it was all totally fine.
I never really get over someone until I meet someone new, and I very really like anyone more than physically so that can be years. I haven't seen the last one since late 2018 and she still pops into my head regularly, and when I think of future relationships she's the stand in. I don't know if this is healthy or not.
Plus if she messaged me out of the blue I'd drop whatever I was doing for her.
Now I'm thinking of her, fuck lol
Plus if she messaged me out of the blue I'd drop whatever I was doing for her.
Now I'm thinking of her, fuck lol
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I'm typically heartbroken for about a week or two. I mean, I still love everyone I've ever loved, and I'm happy if I know they're happy. I'm not a "one true love, meant to be" guy, and it's actually kind of stressful if someone feels that way towards me. That's a lot of pressure lol.
So personally, I don't have that issue. I know because everything ended amicably. Sometimes I was dumper, sometimes the dumpee. They all hurt, and some for a long time, but it was always the right thing to do, and we generally kept in touch for a period of time.
In the more general case though, I would say it doesn't matter if a persons ex feels pain or is traumatized (as cold as that sounds). Relationships end for a reason, good or bad and whether you want them to or not. If the person was traumatized because of the relationship it's good that they are out. If they are traumatized because of the breakup, hopefully they get the support and help they need. In either case, the other person in the relationship is the last person who can/should help with that.
I can't disagree that some relationships need to end even if they cause trauma. However my only issues are when people get into relationship knowing that they are not a good idea or when they break one for a poor reason. I have a friend who suffered for years because his ex broke up with him for a reason that she even regretted.
I still had strong feelings for a girl I hadn't talked to in almost 3 years. That was a tough break up, but I never made it apparent to her how actually devastated I was. If it's over, it's over, no amount of begging would fix the problems that led to the break up. I got depression to the point of being suicidal after that, but I'm glad that I was able to make it out without calling her once after the break up. Now, I still think about her often, but I no longer feel any strong emotion for her, it's like she really has become something of the past. At this point in my life, I'm the happiest I've ever been even when I was with her. I saw her at party not too long ago and we talked for the first time in forever. After I left, I didn't feel sad, I was actually content that she was doing fine.
Fuck man, I'm 13 months out from a two and a half year relationship that was the most intense I've ever had, with the highest highs, and the lowest lows. I still can't stop thinking about her almost every day, and the worst part is that I'm coming to terms now with some of the ways she was emotionally abusive to me, but I still can't get over how good things felt when they were really working. Dating has just felt kind of impossible since then, I've seen a few other people for a few weeks or a few months at a time but I feel like I'm chasing a high I can't get back, and everything feels too easy
So I've got no good answer
So I've got no good answer
It's going to be one year since a jerk led me on and then rejected me :(
It was pretty bad for some months, but I think I eventually got over it. I'll always find him attractive and while I've dated many guys since then, no one is as exciting and "perfect" (as in, a good fit) as him - but I don't think that's me not being over him. What I felt for him was very freaking uncommon, so I'm not surprised it hasn't happened again.
It was pretty bad for some months, but I think I eventually got over it. I'll always find him attractive and while I've dated many guys since then, no one is as exciting and "perfect" (as in, a good fit) as him - but I don't think that's me not being over him. What I felt for him was very freaking uncommon, so I'm not surprised it hasn't happened again.
I've been married and with the same person for over 15 years now, but when I bumped into my first ex partner quite recently, I still went slightly weak and nervous. I don't think you ever fall completely out of love with someone
Without knowing your friend or the situation, I would say that either they need to talk (if she regrets breaking up with him and he is still into her), or he dodged a bullet. Breaking up with someone isnt something they should do lightly. If she regrets the reasoning, she probably didnt think it through.
That said, its really easy for me to comment when I dont have any skin in the game
Was married for six years, it ended mutually, but there were lots of good memories. We traveled all over and had so many adventures, she taught me a lot. Still feel a pang of emptiness from time to time when I think about the past. But I've also moved on, gotten remarried, and looking forward to new adventures. There's no need to forget IMO unless it was a toxic/abusive relationship.
One time, I dated someone for only two months. In the grand scheme of things, that's the blink of an eye. But it took me half a year to get over it. I'd have dreams about him, wake up crying. Constant, passionate, fervorous thoughts of him plagued me daily and I was pretty nonfunctional. I was 22/23 at the time, and dealing with some rough times and had some attachment issues. It was less that I loved him and more that I just felt like needed someone to be with. (This was a realization made in hindsight of course.)
Now I'm in a committed, long term relationship where I truly love the guy, to the point where we're discussing marriage and kids. I consider all my past relationships to be training wheels for this one. I can't imagine a world without my current partner- he's changed me for the better. I'm not sure how long it would take me to get over the relationship if anything happened. I'd like to think I'm past the point of crying daily over someone, but if it's someone you're trying to build a future with? Can't imagine what that's like.
Good luck with your journey OP. Remember that your world is bigger than this person.
Now I'm in a committed, long term relationship where I truly love the guy, to the point where we're discussing marriage and kids. I consider all my past relationships to be training wheels for this one. I can't imagine a world without my current partner- he's changed me for the better. I'm not sure how long it would take me to get over the relationship if anything happened. I'd like to think I'm past the point of crying daily over someone, but if it's someone you're trying to build a future with? Can't imagine what that's like.
Good luck with your journey OP. Remember that your world is bigger than this person.
Took me over a year to get over my first wife. I couldn't even date during that time, even if it was a sure thing. It was rough.
My ex and I were together for 5 years and it took me about 4 months to get over her. I still think about her from time to time but I know we just weren't meant for each other.
I think if you really cared about someone you won't ever stop thinking about them.
Thankfully in a new relationship that is far less emotionally taxing.
I think if you really cared about someone you won't ever stop thinking about them.
Thankfully in a new relationship that is far less emotionally taxing.
While in highschool I developed a major crush for one of my friends. It took me about 5 very hard years to overcome it.