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What is an odd warning your parents gave you?

Baphomet

Baphomet

Member
Dec 8, 2018
16,876
When I was a teenager , before I got my drivers license , my father would always tell me "if you're driving at night in a less traveled road and you see a trash can/debris in the middle of the road, do not get out of your car and try to move it", being 14? at the time, I never completely understood this until I was a few years older, thankfully it only happened to me once and I was already super cautious, so I knew what to do.
 
dark_prinny

dark_prinny

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 26, 2017
5,374
My mom was a pacifist and always taught me not to fight back even If I was hit. I learned my lesson quickly, if you get hit, hit back harder. Fuck that shit.
 
thefit

thefit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,243
Mondai said:
When I was a teenager , before I got my drivers license , my father would always tell me "if you're driving at night in a less traveled road and you see a trash can/debris in the middle of the road, do not get out of your car and try to move it", being 14? at the time, I never completely understood this until I was a few years older, thankfully it only happened to me once and I was already super cautious, so I knew what to do.
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Its actually part of defensive driving, your dad probably learned it in some drivers ed along the way as he grew up. Floor it and smash whatever is on the road on cause a major accident and possibly get people hurt or killed.
 
Vonocourt

Vonocourt

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,616
After moving, my mom told me to "wash your pants because there might be spiders in there that will bite you."
 
Okabe

Okabe

Is Sometimes A Good Bean
Member
Aug 24, 2018
19,893
Admiral Woofington said:
They told me to never have Folger's coffee if my sibling returned from the war, I never got why
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OP
OP
Baphomet

Baphomet

Member
Dec 8, 2018
16,876
thefit said:
Its actually part of defensive driving, your dad probably learned it in some drivers ed along the way as he grew up. Floor it and smash whatever is on the road on cause a major accident and possibly get people hurt or killed.
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Actually he told me that for another reason , where I lived, bandits used to put trash cans/debris in the middle of the road to get unsuspecting people to stop, then they would wait for people to get out of their vehicles...
 
RiOrius

RiOrius

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,073
In high school I tutored kids for community service. One night a little girl, around seven years old, had to stay late because her mom wasn't going to be by to pick her up for another half hour or so, and I stuck around so she wouldn't be all alone in the community center. Afterwards my parents told me that this was foolish, and clearly it was a scheme to set me up for a false accusation of molestation.
 
ghostemoji

ghostemoji

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,816
If I was pouty or sad when we were doing something fun outside my mother warned me that a bird was going to poop on my lip. One time a bird actually pooped on me-- it really helped her case.
 
thefit

thefit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,243
nsilvias said:
if you ever have sex make sure you put on your sombrero

but in spanish
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That's funny, mine involved a story about a woman's son who moved to America and when he returned home to visit his mother he fell very ill and died from his dick and balls rotting out, he was to ashamed to tell his mother he had contracted something that he would rather hide it and he died. I guess they where making the point that I should not have sex, or cover my dick? I'm not sure it was a terrible awkward moment. Also in Spanish :/
 
PlanetSmasher

PlanetSmasher

The Abominable Showman
Member
Oct 25, 2017
115,525
My dad used to warn me about "white balloons" that would be lying around that if you touched them would give you AIDS.

He neglected to mention that condoms look like deflated balloons, so for like HALF of my childhood I was convinced there were white AIDS balloons just floating around the world giving people the disease.
 
Nida

Nida

Member
Aug 31, 2019
11,139
Everett, Washington
Mondai said:
Actually he told me that for another reason , where I lived, bandits used to put trash cans/debris in the middle of the road to get unsuspecting people to stop, then they would wait for people to get out of their vehicles...
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This sounds similar to the urban legends like if someone is flashing their brights at you don't pull over because it's a gang initiation and they will murder you. Not saying it is, just reminds me of it.

Where are you from?
 
dark_prinny

dark_prinny

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 26, 2017
5,374
My mother's best friend use to told us that film inside VHS tapes was radioactive and gave cancer lol
 
Karak

Karak

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
2,088
Nida said:
This sounds similar to the urban legends like if someone is flashing their brights at you don't pull over because it's a gang initiation and they will murder you. Not saying it is, just reminds me of it.

Where are you from?
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Oregon here. Same things said and its for sure real as one of my close highschool friends who is in prison has done it a couple times. Not recently but for sure in the early 2000's
 

Calvinien

Banned
Jul 13, 2019
2,970
PlanetSmasher said:
My dad used to warn me about "white balloons" that would be lying around that if you touched them would give you AIDS.

He neglected to mention that condoms look like deflated balloons, so for like HALF of my childhood I was convinced there were white AIDS balloons just floating around the world giving people the disease.
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I think thats the plot of the 3rd It movie.
 
SageShinigami

SageShinigami

Member
Oct 27, 2017
30,458
No one in this world gives a shit about you. It's a good lesson to learn. But I was like...single digit ages, so it was a little early.
 
Dalek

Dalek

Member
Oct 25, 2017
38,902
My dad told me that it was illegal for me to turn the lights on in the back of the car while he was driving. I just wanted to read.
 
ClearMetal

ClearMetal

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,272
the Netherlands
My father always warned my sister and me that we shouldn't use our night lights (perfectly bright, mind you) to read, because it was such a huge strain on the eyes. We could go blind if we overdid it. If we wanted to read, we should wait until the next day when there was daylight.

I never really gave it much thought, nor did it really stop me, but it wasn't until recently that I figured out he was probably just trying to scare us out of spending the whole night reading when we had school the next day.
 
Chaos2Frozen

Chaos2Frozen

Member
Nov 3, 2017
28,025
Mondai said:
Actually he told me that for another reason , where I lived, bandits used to put trash cans/debris in the middle of the road to get unsuspecting people to stop, then they would wait for people to get out of their vehicles...
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I heard a version of that from around here- car thieves and robbers would throw eggs at your windshield to get you to stop.

Don't stop or slow down- just get the hell out of the area.
 
Katori

Katori

Member
Oct 30, 2017
309
Dalek said:
My dad told me that it was illegal for me to turn the lights on in the back of the car while he was driving. I just wanted to read.
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While not necessarily the best way to present it, it is distracting to the driver to have the dome light on at night (and in some places illegal IIRC).
 
adamsappel

adamsappel

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,503
There is a fruit tree that grows in the northeast US called the pawpaw; its fruit is like a cross between a mango and a banana (so I've heard). They are very common in West Virginia where I grew up and are considered a delicacy. I used to find them all the time on hikes. For some reason, my mother told me they were poisonous and I still have yet to ever taste one.
 
greepoman

greepoman

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,958
My parents were always super straight laced. To the point where they never sped and did a full stop at stop signs. I was a young teen and made some comment about drugs and quickly added how I would never do drugs. I expected a "you better not" but instead my dad said "well it doesn't hurt to try something once". Come to find our they were some big hippies in college. Turned out to be good advice too.
 
Kurtikeya

Kurtikeya

One Winged Slayer
Member
Dec 2, 2017
4,440
If you see a black cat on your way to where you're headed, stop and go home.
Don't pee on mounds or anthills. If you have to, say "Excuse me" out loud. If you don't the dwarves will curse you sick.
Don't walk under a ladder. It's bad luck.
Don't play with an open wound or a priest will come out of it and curse you.
Siblings should not marry within the same year or else at one least union will fall apart.
If ever you're visiting an excavation or abandoned site, bring wine to pour over the area so the spirits can welcome you.
The top step of a staircase should not be divisible by three so as to not welcome bad luck.
Don't put a mirror outside the house or your spirit will leave you to wander on its own, making you lethargic.
If you ever spill salt, toss some over your shoulder to cancel out the bad luck.
 
Mr. President

Mr. President

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,832
If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything, because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine.
 
NinjaScooter

NinjaScooter

Member
Oct 25, 2017
54,118
on long car trips (usually early in the morning) my dad would tell us that if we talked the air from our breathes would fog up the windshields and make it hard for him to see. He just wanted us to shut the fuck up.
 
Not Spaceghost

Not Spaceghost

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,714
During a particularly heavy snow storm back in 2003 I was helping my dad shovel and he turned to me and said "Son, don't buy a house on the corner"
 
Daysean

Daysean

Member
Nov 15, 2017
7,383
Beware of white people growing up
I never questioned it considering it came from my grandparents....
 
Unicorn

Unicorn

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 29, 2017
9,527
NinjaScooter said:
on long car trips (usually early in the morning) my dad would tell us that if we talked the air from our breathes would fog up the windshields and make it hard for him to see. He just wanted us to shut the fuck up.
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This shit is true though.

He also probably wanted you to stfo too lol
 
Hilbert

Hilbert

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,977
Pacific Northwest!
Eating tamales cold will make fat congeal in your bloodstream.

I think my dad wanted me to stop sneaking in the night and grabbing them from the fridge. Damnit. I still love cold tamales.
 
Grug

Grug

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,644
adamsappel said:
There is a fruit tree that grows in the northeast US called the pawpaw; its fruit is like a cross between a mango and a banana (so I've heard). They are very common in West Virginia where I grew up and are considered a delicacy. I used to find them all the time on hikes. For some reason, my mother told me they were poisonous and I still have yet to ever taste one.
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He's actually right. Unripe paw paw's are toxic, as is the sap from broken twigs off its tree. Even when ripe they are overrated. Like a really tasteless mango.
 
Nome

Nome

Designer / Self-requested ban
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
3,312
NYC
When I was a kid, I told my dad that I learned a new word from Speedy Gonzalez on Looney Tunes -- "amigo".
He told me to never say that to a black person.

He thought it was the n word
 
Chibs

Chibs

Member
Nov 5, 2017
4,505
Belgium
PlanetSmasher said:
My dad used to warn me about "white balloons" that would be lying around that if you touched them would give you AIDS.

He neglected to mention that condoms look like deflated balloons, so for like HALF of my childhood I was convinced there were white AIDS balloons just floating around the world giving people the disease.
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This would make for a great horror movie!
 
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