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What do you think about folks who tie their identities to hobbies? Have you ever done this?

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entremet

entremet

You wouldn't toast a NES cartridge
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Oct 26, 2017
60,010
This is an internal discussion In the gaming side with the gamer lol. I term I have no issues with as a term myself. But I do think there's a difference behind the term itself and actually living it out obsessively.

However, it's not the only hobby where this happens. Stoners are notorious for this stuff. I had a friend that basically all he did was smoke, talk about weed, and make self deprecating jokes about his constant weed use. Weed shirts, other stoner friends, etc. I'm not anti weed, but man, there's more to life than a hobby, including one that does bring you some nice highs from time to time.

Audiophiles are another subgroup I see this with a lot.

Heck, there are even more socially acceptable "hobbies" where people define their entire personality, like constant travel or the tech bro special—crypto lol.

Foodies are another.

Gun obsessives are another. When you're posing with AR15s in your holiday card, maybe its time to reevaluate things?

Vanlife! Cool you live in a van.

And so on.

I would saw for myself, the closest I got to this was video games, but this was in JHS. It's all I've talked about, read about, thought about. By HS and on, I still gamed, and still do, but I've diversified my interest and got some self awareness lol.

I'm not crapping on hobbies. "Everyone needs a hobby", but I do think overidentification with hobbies seems a bit much.
 
shaneo632

shaneo632

Weekend Planner
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Oct 29, 2017
28,989
Wrexham, Wales
Yeah overinvesting yourself in anything isn't very healthy, especially if it becomes your sole defining trait.

I'm too self-aware for that I think. I *think*, at least.
 
Wrexis

Wrexis

Member
Nov 4, 2017
21,229
Have hobbies. Don't be your hobby.

Football, gym, gaming, movies, cars, etc. Doesn't matter what it is, total obsession with anything is unhealthy.
 
atomsk eater

atomsk eater

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Oct 25, 2017
3,828
I'm pretty sure when I was a (pre)teen I tied my identity too much to anime and games. After starting an anime club in high school I realized how weird the "average" person who joined was and was disillusioned for a while. I'd like to think I'm better about it now but I'd probably need an outside assessment to be sure so idk. It definitely can be unhealthy and socially stunting to do tie your identity too closely to what you consume. Although I'd say my problem now is I just don't get involved enough in my hobbies to make friends.
 
Patriiick

Patriiick

Member
Oct 31, 2018
5,730
Grimsby, GB
I've already told my friends to give me a fucking hard slap if I ever go down this road. I've unfollowed a bunch of people I know who only post ever seem to post gym shit or what meals they've made for the week.
 
famicorpse

famicorpse

Unshakable Resolve
Banned
Mar 15, 2019
2,337
I think that these people are ultra cringe. I almost went down that path when I was a weeb back in the day but right before I started college I snapped out of it. I don't even buy gaming t shirts because I don't want to be seen as one of these people (this is a personal fear of mine. YOU can do whatever YOU want as long as it doesn't negatively affect others).
 
astro

astro

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Oct 25, 2017
56,900
Honestly, as long as it's not causing some kind of harm or being super obnoxious then I don't really mind it. If that's how people want to live their lives, I say that's cool.

Life can be pretty hard, whatever you need to make it more enjoyable for yourself.
 
Ryuelli

Ryuelli

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Oct 26, 2017
15,209
I can't stand the internet's current obsession with saying stuff like "x isn't a personality trait" because usually x can tell you quite a bit about their personality and interests. Take your van life example, people who are into that are probably also into traveling, the outdoors, and minimalism. "Van life" is more than just living in a van.

I agree that it's important to try out different things, but I think there's a vast difference between being really into or invested in something and being obsessed with it.

I'm really into traveling. I've been to 10(ish) countries, and if I could travel full time I absolutely would. I love showing off photos, telling stories, and traveling has really helped me grow from a scrawny introverted kid who spent entire weekends playing WoW to... not really being that invested in gaming anymore (I think the last game I would obsessively play was the first season or two of League almost a decade ago).

At the end of the day, I'd much rather be the person enjoying themselves than the person being cynical that someone else is enjoying something.
 
RedSparrows

RedSparrows

Prophet of Regret
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Feb 22, 2019
6,482
Yeah, it always makes me a little judgemental, if I'm honest. It's great to have passions and interests, but there comes a moment where one begins to ask the question 'who are you other than this attachment'?

It's not necessarily bad as such, but I do (perhaps prejudicially) tend to think it's not good, either.
 
OrangeNova

OrangeNova

Member
Oct 30, 2017
12,632
Canada
astro said:
Honestly, as long as it's not causing some kind of harm or being super obnoxious then I don't really mind it. If that's how people want to live their lives, I say that's cool.

Life can be pretty hard, whatever you need to make it more enjoyable for yourself.
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100% This.

Does it affect you? No? Then let them enjoy themselves.
 
OP
OP
entremet

entremet

You wouldn't toast a NES cartridge
Member
Oct 26, 2017
60,010
astro said:
Honestly, as long as it's not causing some kind of harm or being super obnoxious then I don't really mind it. If that's how people want to live their lives, I say that's cool.

Life can be pretty hard, whatever you need to make it more enjoyable for yourself.
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I'm not talking about "talking about hobbies." We all do that. I'm talking about longer time scales. Years sometimes and basing their identities on that.

We all have hobbies.

The stoner example is probably the best one I have. I have many friends that smoke, but they're not talking about it ad naseum and basing their identity on it.
 
Ryuelli

Ryuelli

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Oct 26, 2017
15,209
RedSparrows said:
It's great to have passions and interests, but there comes a moment where one begins to ask the question 'who are you other than this attachment'?
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I don't think that has anything to do with hobbies though as much as it does people in general often just have a hard time at describing themselves. There's a reason why "tell me about yourself" often stumps people in interviews and "everyone is their own worst critic" is a common saying. It's a lot easier to list things you like and enjoy than it is to actually talk about yourself.
 
lunarworks

lunarworks

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Oct 25, 2017
22,127
Toronto
Yeah, I had this revelation in my early 20s.

Whenever I see a YouTuber with a "nerd wall" floor to ceiling full of video games and figurines behind them I cringe a bit.
 
SCUMMbag

SCUMMbag

Prophet of Truth - Chicken Chaser
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Oct 25, 2017
5,577
entremet said:
Most don't identify as gamers, though. At least based on the previous discussions. I don't know any IRL either, so hard to tell if they base their IRL personalities on gaming.
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I dunno about that. Plenty of posts on the gaming side give off extreme gamer energy.
 
Aldo

Aldo

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Mar 19, 2019
1,715
I find it weird, but many people only have social interactions through a specific hobby so I guess it kinda sorta makes sense.
 
astro

astro

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Oct 25, 2017
56,900
entremet said:
I'm not talking about "talking about hobbies." We all do that. I'm talking about longer time scales. Years sometimes and basing their identities on that.

We all have hobbies.

The stoner example is probably the best one I have. I have many friends that smoke, but they're not talking about it ad naseum and basing their identity on it.
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I'm talking about that, too. I know a few people that would probably be classed this way and they're nice people, they have decent careers, they're just super into one thing and it kinda defines them. I personally see nothing wrong with it unless it is causing harm them themselves or others.
 
Huntersknoll

Huntersknoll

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,663
Hey! Back off us Audiophiles!! Listen to music only purely off analog though vintage speakers and amps from 70s!! THERE IS NO OTHER WAY!!

I joke, I joke.. yeah sometimes the Audiophile community be a bit overbearing but my take on being an Audiophile is listen to music the way you want to listen to music. You can spend next to nothing or you can spend 10k.. if you enjoy your music then you are doing it right.
 
bionic77

bionic77

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Oct 25, 2017
30,888
Seems harmless to me outside of extremes (like being too into guns).

Passion or love for something doesn't seem like such a bad thing. Maybe some people don't express it very well but like I said seems harmless.
 
OP
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entremet

entremet

You wouldn't toast a NES cartridge
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Oct 26, 2017
60,010
astro said:
Also this is also kinda true and I was thinking about how to phrase it, I'm not sure I'd go as far as you suggest... but threads like these seem to only exist to judge others, yes.
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Hm. You're right. Plus tone is harder to discern online.

I'll lock.
 
Soda

Soda

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Oct 26, 2017
8,859
Dunedin, New Zealand
atomsk eater said:
I'm pretty sure when I was a (pre)teen I tied my identity too much to anime and games. After starting an anime club in high school I realized how weird the "average" person who joined was and was disillusioned for a while. I'd like to think I'm better about it now but I'd probably need an outside assessment to be sure so idk. It definitely can be unhealthy and socially stunting to do tie your identity too closely to what you consume. Although I'd say my problem now is I just don't get involved enough in my hobbies to make friends.
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I had a similar reaction when I befriended some folks in highschool that I bonded with over video games and D&D. I enjoyed both hobbies quite a lot, but they never could talk about anything that wasn't games. I'd still hang sometimes but couldn't take the 24/7 game chatting.
 

Deleted member 10691

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Dec 19, 2021
574
In my experience people who tie their identity to work are far worse than those who tie it to their hobby. The exception being when the hobby itself is toxic.
 
Mabase

Mabase

Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,038
Meh, I dont know. If people aren't assholes about it I don't mind.
Sometimes it's great to see someone being passionate about their hobbies.If it's something active, that passion might lead to them getting really good at their hobby, or become an expert, which is great.

The stoner example is kind of so-so because of the health complications extended use can have on some people, especially if they're young. That's something to be cautious about and something to look out for in your friends if they consume. but besides that, you do you :)
 
collige

collige

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Oct 31, 2017
12,772
I think it's fine to have passions and it's generally healthier than tying your identity to your job imo
 
julia crawford

julia crawford

Took the red AND the blue pills
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Oct 27, 2017
35,166
Hmm. I've kind of thought about this. I'm very jealous of amateur photographers on instagram that are constantly posting photos and interacting with communities and taking over accounts etc, but that just seems like so much work... i think i would be closer to my hobbies and interact more with communities but i just don't feel like i have the time or energy.
 
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