What are your views on having children?

[Tavernade]

I could not see another child for the rest of my life and it'd take me a REALLY long time to notice and even longer to care + everyone I know with kids younger than a teenager just seem to hate them (in a joking way but still, teens seem ok).

All that being said, I am not interested in someone who wants to get married SO they can have kids but if I fell in love with someone and we decided to have kids down the line I'd be up for it.

 

[Honome]

I have 3 kids and all i can say is that they are the best thing that ever happened in my miserable life.

 

[Turin]

voted Unfavorable

I would hope those who do, consider all aspects of the task and do so only when fully confident.


I absolutely refuse to burden any co-parent with such an undertaking and frankly I would be psychologically ill equipped to raise a kid anyway. It would be unfair to two people. (plus, my hands are full taking care of my disabled father) On top of that, there's certainly no real existential obligation to have a kid.

 

[BringBackSonics]

I've always wanted to be a dad, but I'm 30 and have only had one relationship in my life, so I don't see that happening any time soon. Pretty disappointed actually, especially since the vast majority of my friends have kids.

As an elementary school teacher you would think I would have enough "kids for one day" at work, but nope... I'd love to come home to a family.

As far as the question goes, I think kids are great but have 0 problems with people who choose not to have them.

Click to shrink...

Had my first kid when I was 36, second one at 41! You still have time, if it's something you want

 

[Soda]

I'd argue having children is in many ways morally wrong due entirely to anthropogenic climate change, but that isn't stopping me from having my own children.

 

[OrangeNova]

I like kids and would maybe like to have kids at some point, but my partner doesn't, and that's okay. I've got a Nephew and my sister is planning on having more.

 

[Grug]

You. Do. You.

Wife and I always planned to limit ourselves to one and that's what we did. Not going to get all disingenuous and post carbon graphs or anything... limiting to one was reflective of our age, finances and life balance goals.

My son just turned 5. It's hard work but he is also amazing.

I'm also a grade 7 teacher, and let me just say I find the "I don't like kids" thing to be a really weird blanket generalisation. They are all very different individuals. You don't really hear people say "I don't like adults and want nothing to do with any of them".

Some of the best humans I have met are kids I have taught in the last few years. I advocate looking at them as individual little people and not a separate species.

 

[cephus]

I love kids and have always had an easy time interacting with kids. Even though I usually work with teenagers it's part of the reason I went to school to be a teacher. I doubt I'll ever get the opportunity to have kids of my own though. I do completely understand and respect those who choose not to have kids however.

 

[Soapbox Killer]

What vehicle do you drive?!

Click to shrink...

Im in the market for a Ford Flex but my 2 oldest are 19 and 18 so they dont count in the car equation.

 

[UberTag]

Anyone with any sense knows not to bring children into this fucked up world.
Unfortunately, this also leads to only idiots breeding. And there's a lot of idiots.

Frankly, I don't want to bring new life into this world... but I would love to adopt.

 

[Deleted member 3082]

Depending on how I'm feeling that day, I tend to bounce between Anti-Natalism and simply Childfree. My wife and I are happy and content with our current lifestyle and though we don't dislike children (we have friends with kids who visit), we simply don't want them and I had a vasectomy four years ago. It's not selfish, it's not something we'll change our mind on, it's the way we want to live.

I am also a fierce advocate of anyone who choses to live this way being free of the constant, incessant pestering people direct at them over their reproductive choices. If someone doesn't want kids, leave em alone, it's their decision, end of discussion.

Now, catch me on a particularly bad day and I will point out that having a child is the worst thing you can do for the planet in terms of carbon footprint (and by quite a lot too) and that we will likely see the fallout of climate change in the next 10-20 years, so all the people with kids now are setting them up for misery. I try very hard not to think that way, msotly to keep my already dangerous levels of anxiety in check, but also because I'm a drag to be around.

 

[mhayes86]

I was kind of indifferent, but like kids for the most part. I didn't want any unless I knew for a fact that I could provide for them. Fortunately I'm in a good position where I can, and my wife said we needed to make a decision by the time she was 32, because she didn't want to still be raising a kid when we retire.

We were going to try a couple years ago, but decided to continue traveling a bit. We decided after our vacation last year that this would be the year, and now our first (and most likely only) is due in May.

 

[Captain Tuttle]

Before kids I was neutral, never really thought about it. Now they're 14 and 15 and I can't imagine my life without them. They're amazing people.

 

[Pink Tape]

I'd rather be an auntie or a godmother instead of a parent of my own kids.

 

[Svadhyaya]

I don't think there is a single reason that could convince me to have children. Seeing the United States response to a pandemic cemented that feeling once again.

 

[StrangeRoboMemory]

Favorable. I have a son, he just turned 11 months old. I didn't always think I'd be a parent, but I decided to go for it, for a few reasons.

1. I'm glad that I was born. In the long run, I think and hope that most people are. I'm grateful for what I've experienced in my life, and I want to give my son the same chance to enjoy and appreciate his own life, with all its ups and downs.

1. I've tried my best to be a good and empathetic person. I won't always be around. I hope I can raise my son to be a compassionate citizen of the planet who will have a positive effect on the world.

3. I felt drawn to being a parent, especially as I got older and got to interact with my friends' kids. I feel like a natural dad, and my personality makes it easy and fun for me to be around kids.

4. The experience of raising a human being in all of its complexity and mystery is incredibly rewarding and has helped make me a better person.

5. I'm in a financial and emotional place to give my son a good life, with a stable and happy marriage. I don't worry about providing for him or giving him what he needs to be safe and successful. That's something I've only been able to say in the past few years, which is why I waited until my mid 30s to have a baby.

I'm so glad I went for it. My son is an amazing little guy. Sweet, affectionate, and a laugh riot. I knew that this would be something special, but I didn't realize just how special it would be.

He's the only baby we'll have, and I'm 100% fine with that. It's an incredible experience but also very challenging, so I admire anyone with two or more kids.

You don't really hear people say "I don't like adults and want nothing to do with any of them".

Click to shrink...

Heard that on Era several times...lol

 

[softtack]

Voted unfavorable.

Not in this day and age anyway.

 

[Violence Jack]

Do whatever is best for you and your SO. If you want them, have them. If you don't, then don't.

I have one, and I love him in a way that I never thought I could.

 

[shinobi602]

I have 3 kids and love them to death.

Would I change anything if I could? Yes, I think I had them way, way too early (I was 25 when we had our first). Kids legitimately tie you down for a while and it has affected my prospects professionally for now.

At the same time I completely understand anyone who doesn't want any. They really do flip your life upside down. I mean the responsibility of another human life is on your shoulders. In a way after having my kids, I kind of think I'm not even a "kid person" myself in certain ways to be honest lol. I love them and would die for them nonetheless.

 

[Oneiros]

I understand not wanting your own kids, but anyone who hates them is an awful person.

 

[Muu]

I got a 6yrold and a 10mo old so favorable I suppose. I have less fucks to give about life in general these days, but do give a lot of fucks about my kids, and it's a joy to be able to show them all kinds of new shit and interests and see them totally take off sometimes in unexpected directions. I wanted to be a gamer dad but as a result of limiting screen time to not have her be a total piece of shit I barely do any of that w my first, instead we ride bikes everywhere and she has fostered me to take on new ideas as well. Kids can tie you down but it absolutely isn't the end of things.

 

[Deleted member 1086]

I think raising kids would be neat, but I also cherish my laziness and irresponsibility, two things that aren't compatible with raising kids. So I don't plan on having any.

 

[gcwy]

I would never bring kids into this cruel and unjust world that it currently is. I don't know if that makes antinatalist or what.

 

[Kitsunebaby]

I don't personally like them, or want to be a parent. But I got no issues with someone choosing to have as many as they like.

However, I think it's incredibly cruel and irresponsible to have children if you lack the means or the resolve to care for them however long they need.

 

[Rosebud]

"Other" because I don't want to have my own children, but would like to adopt.

 

[The Turbanator]

Plan on having kids and ability to bear children is an absolute must for my partner (hence why I don't just get a vasectomy so my gf doesn't have to deal with shitty side effects from her implant) but not everybody wants them and honestly IDC if you do or don't, that's not my concern.

 

[Pilgrimzero]

Kids are cool. I'd like another one.

But I also know the world is shit and getting worse and it's probably better that kid not exist

 

[TheThirstyPrisoner]

I have children and love them dearly, but I never wanted children. My wife definitely did and I wasn't sufficiently opposed to deny her. Knowing what I know now, if I could go back and do it again, I would still have them. However, if all memory was erased except for the knowledge that a future me had children, I probably would not.

This has nothing to do with moral righteousness (though the human species does definitely need to be contained), it is much more selfish. I simply like my own time too much and completely giving it to others is depressing to me in a way that it is difficult to communicate. Some might say that what you gain is worth what you lose—to be honest I haven't really felt that so far.

 

[Deleted member 13101]

First post nailed it - what's with all the labels?

Also, why are you curious? Are you more curious about which of your labels people would pick for themselves? You're asking people to self-identify from some potentially deep emotions, including whether they feel they or anyone else should exist based on the current state of the world, and whether other people are worth the time and energy they are given by others.

I'd be more concerned about the depressing nature of some of the replies, than what the "general sentiment" of the forum is, whatever that really means. I hope this thread wasn't just another example of misery loving company during a weekend, and potentially one of the worst global holiday seasons outside of a world war. Be well and try to be of cheer.

 

[Daysean]

all those big ass words in the poll wtf

I want kids, but im no where ready for them, when i get a better career and more years in my life, then we will see

 

[ArchAngel]

I'm uncle to 9 kids from age 2-12 that I see often because they're all living close, hated other kids already since Kindergarten because they were stupid (even told their parents at that time that I don't enjoy playing with them lol) and nothing changed my mind 35 years later. Glad my GF also doesn't like or wants kids either!
I don't mind others having them, but I hate it when they want to force me to play or interact with their children!

 

[Grug]

Voted unfavorable.

Not in this day and age anyway.

Click to shrink...

Every generation going back hundreds and even thousands of years had a tendency to think the music was about to stop. We are no different.

We have significant challenges ahead no doubt however by almost any objective measure we are living overall in one of the most peaceful and prosperous times in human history.

There are probably lonely and regretful elderly people now who held back on having children during the Cold War because of the "inevitability" of nuclear hellfire.

Existential dread is pretty much an ever present feeling for some people. I get it. But try not to let it diminish your existence. If you have other more substantial or personal reasons for not having kids, then good for you :) But if a general fear of uncertainty about the future is the only thing holding you back, that's a shame.

A lot of your ancestors faced graver danger and uncertainty yet here you are! Ironically, the fact that you are mindful enough to consider whether you should or shouldn't have kids probably puts you in the "more likely to be a good parent" category.

 

[Possum Armada]

I have a two year old son and one on the way. I love my family but could totally see why people wouldn't want kids.

 

[AlteredBeast]

I have 4 kids, am a fantastic father, and think other responsible people should have kids, since lots and lots of ignorant people are having a shit ton of kids.

 

[OhSatan]

Never

 

[Deleted member 3010]

I don't want any, however I have no issue being the cool uncle to all my friend's kids.

 

[Rendering...]

Kids are great but I wish people wouldn't become parents unless they're truly prepared to put in the work it takes to raise considerate, educated, and well adjusted people.

 

[Sunster]

my girlfriend and I can't wait to have kids.... after there's a vaccine

 

[Professor Beef]

don't like kids at all, don't want kids at all

 

[Conrad Link]

I really want kids and wish I had started trying earlier in my life. It really feels like I'm running out of time suddenly. :(

Hope it happens soon.

 

[Kingdizzi]

I don't want kids but it's just one of those things you have to do to keep the wife and family happy. You're life ain't your own once you have kids and they mostly end up being let downs but fuck can you do, my family and wife expect kids so they gonna get kids.

 

[Grapezard]

That having a kid or choosing to be child free is absolutely nobody's business barring you and your partner's.

 

[dep9000]

I have kids. They're pretty great. But my brother doesn't and he has a lot more disposable income. I'm often jealous

 

[Tokyo_Funk]

Unfavourable. I don't really like kids and I don't like being around them. Though for some reason they always gravitate towards me. If people want them, that's fine.

I'd rather have a pet dog though.

 

[mute]

I have two sons and my feelings on children are pretty...complicated I guess. My partner's post-partum depression kinda tainted my experience, though I love my kids and consider myself incredibly lucky to be around them.

 

[KomandaHeck]

Pendulum swing between favourable and unfavourable except remove the "don't like them" part of unfavourable. Always found people who claim to universally hate children for some inexplicable reason weirdos.

 

[AppleBlade]

I have two kids and feel like they add meaning to my life. While I personally don't care if others have children, I believe that our brains and body have evolved with that purpose and as a result our society also revolves around this. If you think about it almost everything a man traditionally finds attractive about a female and almost everything females find attractive about men have to do with the successful transfer of our DNA to an offspring. Not having children I believe goes counter to our genetic programming and because of that I believe the act of not having children can have negative mental and societal ramification. Now I believe there are exceptions to this, or people that can go counter to our genetic programming and are able to successfully reconcile the ramifications. In a way, they hacked the system and can potentially reap some big rewards (as kids are a lot of work, expensive and raising them can be an emotional burden). It's kind of like someone who can get a spouse/mate while ignoring the traditional attributes of attractiveness in soceity (which again all have to do with procreation either in genes or ability to care for offspring). If you can ignore the abstract construct of "ugliness" you will likely be able to prioritize more tangible qualities like intelligence, wealth or even other abstract ones that you may prefer and age better like humor.

 

[never]

I'm 40, happily married and neither myself or my wife want to have children. We'd rather just experience the most fun we can between the two of us without the financial burden or stress of having to raise a kid in this nightmare of a reality. It also allows us to help our friends who do have kids, so we can have that aunt/uncle experience instead.

 

[Reym]

Don't like kids. Relationships don't interest me either in the first place so I doubt it'll be an issue. The process seems unpleasant. The whining and crying are irritating. And I don't really like clingy people so the "positives" don't really appeal either.

I love it when people try to pull the "but you were a kid once" as some kinda gotcha. Yeah. I remember. Why do you think I know they're annoying?

 

[N.Domixis]

Being single and getting Adopted kids is fine, there's no burden of having someone (the SO) telling you want you can or can't do. And no risk of divorce.

but with a SO? Fuck that. You have the wife or husband watching your every move and your freedom is over. Divorce happens and if you're a guy, say good bye to your kids, house and half your money. It's too risky to marry for guys. Unless I'm wrong about the last part.