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Were you a bully growing up?
- Thread starter TaySan
- Start date
Not even once, you monsters.
I forgive you repentent ones though...its not easy to be just.
I forgive you repentent ones though...its not easy to be just.
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I was not a bully, no. Everyone was pretty cool aside from one bully in 7th grade. Only experience I've had with bullying.
No, I was bullied. Pretty common for a scrawny read head, even now in adulthood in more microaggression-y ways. Only stereo-typically/physically so my first year of high school by an upper classman on my track team. Punch for punch stuff in the arm where I weighed like 130 pounds at best and he was like 180+ easily. Only time I ever felt helpless and unable to push back in a meaningful way. I just tried to punch him hard as I could, even though it wasn't much. Thankfully he was gone after that first year.
That said I'm sure though I did or said things to others who saw it as bullying in certain instances. Especially in high school. I went to an all boys private school as a day student(ie I didn't live there, only went during the day for classes and sports) and us day students had one large room in the basement with lockers to keep our stuff and hang out in between classes and sports and stuff, while all the boarders had their dorm rooms to go back to. So ~30 of us, 14-18 year olds, unsupervised in this one room resulted in a lot of sparring and altercations, verbal and physical. Lots of people trying to score points with the group by insulting each other and stirring up shit. Younger guys trying to be wise and look cool by going after upper classmen, so you had to put them in their place. Lots of stupid shit. I never was interested in bullying or picking on anyone, but I wasn't a pushover and didn't hold back if someone tried to start anything with me.
That said I'm sure though I did or said things to others who saw it as bullying in certain instances. Especially in high school. I went to an all boys private school as a day student(ie I didn't live there, only went during the day for classes and sports) and us day students had one large room in the basement with lockers to keep our stuff and hang out in between classes and sports and stuff, while all the boarders had their dorm rooms to go back to. So ~30 of us, 14-18 year olds, unsupervised in this one room resulted in a lot of sparring and altercations, verbal and physical. Lots of people trying to score points with the group by insulting each other and stirring up shit. Younger guys trying to be wise and look cool by going after upper classmen, so you had to put them in their place. Lots of stupid shit. I never was interested in bullying or picking on anyone, but I wasn't a pushover and didn't hold back if someone tried to start anything with me.
I was a bully to bullies which made me just as bad as they were. I fought them in middle and high school which had the unwanted effect of people I was standing up for thinking I wanted to be their friend which wasn't the case. I didn't want to be anyone's friend. Eventually people started threatening my family. I remember coming out of a CVS Pharmacy with my mom and getting jumped in front of her with one guy using brass knuckles (fought him for throwing rocks at people's heads while waiting on the school bus) and the other two using pieces of rebar. They ran off and I got up to chase them down and all I could remember was my mom screaming and I stopped giving chase. That's when I realized that I needed to stop. I didn't even think about my mom getting hurt when all this was going down until she started screaming.
It was wrong of me to fight others like that and I also ran the risk of getting expelled from school. Also violence begets more violence. But reporting these people to the faculty did absolutely nothing and I got tired of seeing others getting harassed or physically hurt because of race, social status, sexuality, or even their hobbies. This was back in 1997-ish to 2003. I think people are more assertive now when it comes to bullies.
Looking back at it I kind of regret being so damn angry and putting my hands on people. I'm surprised I never got shot. I don't know what kind of lives they had at home. Maybe that's all they had in life that made them feel good. Maybe I could have talked to them or found someone who would actually listen so that they could counsel them.
I've learned to not be so angry in my adulthood. But back then I was such an angry person. Especially when it came to seeing people getting treated unfairly. But even now, I'm getting angry just typing this out which goes to show that even in my 30s I still have a long ways to go.
It was wrong of me to fight others like that and I also ran the risk of getting expelled from school. Also violence begets more violence. But reporting these people to the faculty did absolutely nothing and I got tired of seeing others getting harassed or physically hurt because of race, social status, sexuality, or even their hobbies. This was back in 1997-ish to 2003. I think people are more assertive now when it comes to bullies.
Looking back at it I kind of regret being so damn angry and putting my hands on people. I'm surprised I never got shot. I don't know what kind of lives they had at home. Maybe that's all they had in life that made them feel good. Maybe I could have talked to them or found someone who would actually listen so that they could counsel them.
I've learned to not be so angry in my adulthood. But back then I was such an angry person. Especially when it came to seeing people getting treated unfairly. But even now, I'm getting angry just typing this out which goes to show that even in my 30s I still have a long ways to go.
Well my situation was always a bit complicated...
I was always the tallest or second tallest in my class. So past snickering in the background, no one would dare approach me and physically bully me. The one guy that did almost got me expelled how bad I beat him. For the rest of the year until I had to switch schools, people were always coming up to me and going "damn, you fucked that guy up... Definitely betting on you next time!" I admit that I liked the attention, but found it weird people were celebrating someone else's absolute destruction.
Man... Highschool/middle school was crazy.
I was always the tallest or second tallest in my class. So past snickering in the background, no one would dare approach me and physically bully me. The one guy that did almost got me expelled how bad I beat him. For the rest of the year until I had to switch schools, people were always coming up to me and going "damn, you fucked that guy up... Definitely betting on you next time!" I admit that I liked the attention, but found it weird people were celebrating someone else's absolute destruction.
Man... Highschool/middle school was crazy.
OP
OP
I made this thread for the former, but feel free to share your experiences being bullied.
Yes.
But seriously, no. In school, I don't recall seeing a lot of bullying. There was this one guy in middle school who was bullied occasionally, but he was a pretty big guy and could handle himself. He did get into a fight once and was able to hold his own.
To my brother
But seriously, no. In school, I don't recall seeing a lot of bullying. There was this one guy in middle school who was bullied occasionally, but he was a pretty big guy and could handle himself. He did get into a fight once and was able to hold his own.
Just the one time in 7th grade that I can remember. I remember one kid that used to pick on everyone on the bus in the mornings. I don't remember why. But every morning he would harass someone and everyone was an eligible candidate. I don't remember getting hit, but maybe threatened? Or hit in the shoulder? Been too long and I can't even picture the kids face anymore. But the experience, sure.
Now that I think back there was 1 other isolated incident that I remember: one was this really big girl that was just scary...6th grade and maybe she was 8th? Idunno but she was big and scary and would pick on everyone including me. I wasn't going to lay hands on a woman, plus she was big enough to sit on me and end my life. I ended up transferring schools in some part because of her. I really just didn't like the school (new) and she just kinda sealed the deal and provided requisite excuse. Never saw her again in life. Also would not recognize her on the street and can't picture her face.
I've never directly bullied someone. I've made fun of people behind their backs, but that's about it.
OP
OP
I really appreciate the honesty all around. It's not an easy subject i'm sure for some so thank you for coming forward and sharing. :)
Mm. Yes. Only to ever two people. One fella I met long time later and we had a understanding that the two of us were young. The other fella, well.
It was very stereotypical. I was very stereotypical. It was bad. It did not end badly. But I still think about it years and years later.
It was very stereotypical. I was very stereotypical. It was bad. It did not end badly. But I still think about it years and years later.
I never had enough power to be really be *the* bully; I was on the defensive most of the time, just making sure that I could make it through the day without being bullied. That being said, sometimes, when the bullies would give me the breathing room, I joined in with them out of fear of being the target. Of course, I'm upset today that I'd ever stoop so low, but back then it really felt eat-or-be-eaten, so any chance I had to not be the focal point of the worst kids in the school... I took it. What did that mean? It means I was an asshole: I'd call people all the names I got called without thinking for a second about how I felt when they did it to me. The sad part is, it didn't *really* work. Like, long term, bullies come back around to the weak, and it wasn't long before I was a literal and figurative punching bag again.
Years later, out of high school, I discovered that the biggest bully had had been in a car accident and lost the ability to use his body from the legs down. I felt sorry for him, but deep down I always kind of felt like he deserved what he got.
Years later, out of high school, I discovered that the biggest bully had had been in a car accident and lost the ability to use his body from the legs down. I felt sorry for him, but deep down I always kind of felt like he deserved what he got.
No, I was the one typically being bullied. Thankfully not anything of physical abuse (that came from family frankly). There was a particular incident in high school however where someone wanted to befriend me and I shut them down because said person was known as weird and I didn't want my already poor "social status" to plummet even more. Wasn't a great moment in my life and I still regret it from time to time.
Eerily similar experience, and still feel guilty 25 years later.
I didnt really see bullying just straight out fights. Everything just escalated to fighting and stopped then some other people fought. I was a shadow though I would just spectate.
I made fun of a kid on the bus because he was quiet and liked archery. I moved away that year and never saw him again. Feels bad man.
OP
OP
I think that's partly how I lost a lot of my friendships in middle school. People didn't want to associate with me and potentially kill their social life. I understand it, but it's sad things had to be that way.
I was bullied / ignored through almost all of high school and only 'kinda' bullied somebody once, but I still don't feel much regret over that one.
Reason being: at the start of my 4th year of high school (which I was redoing because of my lack of motivation the year before), I entered a new class, where I knew nobody. For some reason that first week, I was lucky enough to get invited to get a drink with some of the guys in class. And, out of the blue, the other guy that looked like he would be bullied, if it wasn't for me, started saying how much of a dork / loser I was. It didn't stick and he became that year's victim.
I never stood up for the guy, and felt it to be justified after what he tried.
(Of course he was only trying to protect himself, but fuck people that do so at the cost of others).
Reason being: at the start of my 4th year of high school (which I was redoing because of my lack of motivation the year before), I entered a new class, where I knew nobody. For some reason that first week, I was lucky enough to get invited to get a drink with some of the guys in class. And, out of the blue, the other guy that looked like he would be bullied, if it wasn't for me, started saying how much of a dork / loser I was. It didn't stick and he became that year's victim.
I never stood up for the guy, and felt it to be justified after what he tried.
(Of course he was only trying to protect himself, but fuck people that do so at the cost of others).
I was in the middle of getting bullied and being the bully. Although I feel like I made up for it by becoming friends or at least being on good terms with the kids I was an asshole to. Although it's funny that all the kids who bullied me were asshole all throughout school.
Idk, I would poke fun at pretty much everyone but I always tried to keep it light hearted and had the sense to stop if they got upset and would apologize if I took it too far.
I personally wouldn't consider myself one and think I was more of a joker but I could see how some of the people who didn't find it amusing would consider me one.
I personally wouldn't consider myself one and think I was more of a joker but I could see how some of the people who didn't find it amusing would consider me one.
No, I was bullied, when I was in Middle School I didn't really know what I was doing, was to scared to stand up for myself, etc. However today I don't let anyone talk rude to me. Funny as well all my bullies either got karma brought to them, and two of them apologized to me and we became cool, another one went to jail for some serious stuff but he tried to add me on Facebook so I blocked him and said nope lol.
OP
OP
Sounds like you got some closure for the most part. I'm happy for you. :D
There was a single year in high school where I was a bully. When I was 14/15 I suddenly became the popular cool guy in class and I just kinda grew into a bully because of that. I wasn't a very good bully luckily and I failed miserably in academic terms that year so I got a bit of karma but I still feel ashamed of it.
Nope,
I was lightly bullied in middle school, in high school, I was on the football team, so that gave me a buffer (sat at the athletes tables at lunch, sat near teammates during class etc).
I was very much socially awkward and dressed in poor clothes etc, and think I would have been bullied if I wasn't on the team.
I was lightly bullied in middle school, in high school, I was on the football team, so that gave me a buffer (sat at the athletes tables at lunch, sat near teammates during class etc).
I was very much socially awkward and dressed in poor clothes etc, and think I would have been bullied if I wasn't on the team.
Yes, all throughout my life until middle school, especially on my brother. When my dad left when I was in 6th grade it got even worse. I then got depressed, gained a bunch of weight and started getting bullied myself and cyber bullied really bad. Lost all my real friends and the other people I tried to impress were posting fake pictures of me online to the point that I stopped going to school for half the year in 8th grade.
Was much more withdrawn after that and stopped talking to people altogether. Feel guilty about the things I did to other people all the time.
Was much more withdrawn after that and stopped talking to people altogether. Feel guilty about the things I did to other people all the time.
I was on the receiving end, mainly in grade school. Most kids were assholes - which isn't a big deal because kids are just kind of assholes, lol - but a small handful did some truly awful things, and I can't begin to imagine what it's like to grow up knowing that you had done such cruel and damaging things to others when you were young. It can't feel good.
Having said that, myself and my handful of friends still had a couple flashes of bullying amongst ourselves, taking the pain and frustration of being bullied and unknowingly taking it out on the perceived lesser people within our own group. It was just a few isolated incidents and it was thankfully corrected pretty quickly, but it was definitely enlightening to see how even we could be so quick to turn to that kind of petty bullshit.
Having said that, myself and my handful of friends still had a couple flashes of bullying amongst ourselves, taking the pain and frustration of being bullied and unknowingly taking it out on the perceived lesser people within our own group. It was just a few isolated incidents and it was thankfully corrected pretty quickly, but it was definitely enlightening to see how even we could be so quick to turn to that kind of petty bullshit.
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I was a bully in first grade. I never got a chance to apologize to the kid but I would if I could. I always played victim when the bullied go after me and it 100% worked all the time. this happened because my parents were going through issues and it affected me in a subconscious level.
in 5th I was bullied hardcore.
But in ironic twist, he became my best friend who is like a brother.
in 5th I was bullied hardcore.
But in ironic twist, he became my best friend who is like a brother.
Thank fuck, no. When we are young we can really forget to put in perspective the weight of our words and actions... being on the receiving end also helps lol
But I'm thinking I'm one the baddies now (work related stuff) :(
I'm too cold and quick to chew co-workers when shit goes sideways because of not following instructions. Is it gonna cost time that we don't have? 0-100 in a split second, which does take many by surprise. Doesn't matter who it is, my boss, staff leaders, contractors, anyone can get an earful.
Need to work on that.
But I'm thinking I'm one the baddies now (work related stuff) :(
I'm too cold and quick to chew co-workers when shit goes sideways because of not following instructions. Is it gonna cost time that we don't have? 0-100 in a split second, which does take many by surprise. Doesn't matter who it is, my boss, staff leaders, contractors, anyone can get an earful.
Need to work on that.
No I was usually the one being bullied.
But there was one guy back in the army that I went along with the others to ostracized. We didn't pull a full metal jacket but we just left him out of events.
At the time I justified to myself that he was being a huge unsociable weirdo but now after l left the army I realize I was being a dick and regretted it ever since.
There was another guy who wanted to be my friend after he found out I was into Anime and Otaku stuff but he was weird even for my standards and so I treated him like crap. This one I regretted even more because during my first year in study abroad he helped showed me the ropes in this new place and gave me a place to stay during the Christmas holidays.
It's so easy to justify your own reasoning for how you treat someone, since then I've always tried to be more mindful of how my language and actions might be perceived by the recipient
But there was one guy back in the army that I went along with the others to ostracized. We didn't pull a full metal jacket but we just left him out of events.
At the time I justified to myself that he was being a huge unsociable weirdo but now after l left the army I realize I was being a dick and regretted it ever since.
There was another guy who wanted to be my friend after he found out I was into Anime and Otaku stuff but he was weird even for my standards and so I treated him like crap. This one I regretted even more because during my first year in study abroad he helped showed me the ropes in this new place and gave me a place to stay during the Christmas holidays.
It's so easy to justify your own reasoning for how you treat someone, since then I've always tried to be more mindful of how my language and actions might be perceived by the recipient
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I may have bullied someone in middle school (7th/8th grade for those of you overseas) in the middle of being bullied myself during those years. I can't remember, I've blocked 6th through 8th grade from my memories entirely because each day was suffering. And I only found THAT out because of someone I'm friends with on Facebook uploaded our middle school yearbook, and I found my face scratched out entirely lol.
User Banned (5 Days:): Inflammatory commentary; advocating bullying
I bullied this one guy throughout high school. I graduated 12 years ago and still don't feel the need to apologize to that weird fuck. Some people have such bullyable personality.