Well, it finally happened. Me and the girlfriend are finally moving into our own apartment. No family! No roommates! Any advice?

[Robin]

I'm pretty damn excited y'all, they officially offered it to us today, we're signing tomorrow. Sure, I shared a townhouse for 4 years in college. I've lived with roommates, I've rented rooms. For the last year and a half I've had to swallow my pride and have been living in my childhood bedroom along with my girlfriend. Today we finally were offered a beautiful two floor, two bedroom duplex. It isn't huge at 1000 sq feet, but it has an enormous private basement, washer & dryer hookups. It isn't 5 star living, and we only have maybe half the furniture we need, but it's going to be ours.

I think I'm most excited for my girlfriend, who has had to live as basically a guest in the house I grew up in, I've tried very hard to make things ours and not mine, but I'm sure it's hard moving into someone else's space and trying to make part of it your own.

Anyway, what should I expect ERA? Anything I should go out of my way to avoid? Knowing we won't have the place 100% furnished day one, what should we prioritize?

 

[SilentPanda]

Take picture and video of the first day in, and a list to record all current defect, for when you are moving out to prove that the defect is already th ere.

 

[Sheev]

Congrats on the (future) sex.

 

[Nostremitus]

The art of compromise.

 

[Nexus2049]

Take picture and video of the first day in, and a list to record all current defect, for when you are moving out to prove that the defect is already th ere.

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Good advice. Had to deal with false accusations about damage before and it sucks.

 

[purplemonkey111]

Get a real bed, chair, and table. Also if you work from home, a decent office table.

Sleeping on an air mattress for 6 month sucks.

 

[Jesse_and_the_rippers]

Congrats! Enjoy lots or banging, in every room, on every surface. And lots of fun simple moments you only get living with someone.

 

[BDS]

I'm also moving into my first completely solo apartment next week. What you want to do is take pictures of everything and get on the landlord/property company's ass about fixing anything that is broken. Don't leave food out anywhere for any reason and seal all food in airtight containers or you risk attracting roaches.

But most importantly, have fun decorating the place how you want it. I'm going to hit up some home goods stores and such this week and I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the options I have. For the first time I can decorate things however I want, and not answer to anyone. It's very exciting!

 

[Deleted member 4367]

Plants. Lots and lots of plants.

 

[subpar spatula]

Don't use tacks or nails to hang things on the wall. Also, get permission to mount a TV cause your landlord might be a dick and take part of your damage deposit to cover the holes.

 

[手加減 TG]

Choose your side of the bed wisely.

 

[Robin]

As far as furniture, we've got two large TVs, a very nice computer desk setup (need a second as we both are WFH), we have all the bedroom stuff, and we have a dining room table and a few dining room chairs, albeit shitty ones. We have no couch or any living room furniture other than TV stand and shelving. I know that personally I want to get some lighting and houseplants stat but a couch is probably going to have to take priority, haha. Haven't decided if we want to just grab a loveseat and maybe live with that or splurge and get a sectional or something like that.

 

[Bigwombat]

Walk around naked since you are living in your own place

 

[KujoJosuke]

This was me in December. My first time out on my own and also living with someone besides family.

And I love it. My girlfriend and I just passed our 1 year anniversary 3 days ago and it's been so amazing and living together has been so good that I'm waiting for an engagement ring I ordered and I plan on proposing when Michigan re-opens and we can go on an official anniversary date.

Things that are important:
If your girlfriend asks for help around the house, just do it
Compromise on things, you both live there and you need to make your home comfortable for the both of you

And important things to avoid:
Don't let money become something you fight about, this is a killer for a lot of living together relationships
If you fuck up (like forget to do the dishes or laundry or whatever), apologize and don't fight about it

 

[louiedog]

Draw a line down the center of the apartment a la I Love Lucy.

 

[Vilix]

Scotch guard the furniture.

 

[SABO.]

Enjoy! We made the decision in December of last year to move into the apartment she owned and its been awesome.

As long as you have good communication with your partner, and are willing to compromise, it'll be one of the best decisions you've made in your life so far.

 

[Okabe]

well you gotta do one of these as one of the first things you do

 

[Poppy]

try not to kill each other

 

[rokkerkory]

Dont buy too much furniture go simple and do it gradual

 

[BlueTsunami]

Do the dishes

 

[FaceHugger]

Ah, the first place with the SO. One of my fondest memories.

A few nuggets of advice:

• Refrain from cluttering the place. It's easy to want to buy all the cool decorative stuff you see when out shopping / browsing Amazon. Keep it minimalist for a while until you're positive how you want the decor and exactly what furniture you truly want
• On that note, never cheap out on furniture. Buy stuff that will last
• Buy a toolbox and fill it with the essentials. Sure, the landlord / maintenance people can take care of everything but it's a lot less hassle and also kind of rewarding doing the small repairs yourself
• Fresh out of college move-in kit: Ironing board and iron, a plunger, a fire extinguisher, one good large pan, one good large pot, a spatula, a cooking spoon, a stainless steel colander, roasting pan, a cheap cutting board, and a cheap chef's knife - 10" - 12"
• Smile at and be nice to your neighbors. Those are the people that may call the police when you're too loud during a get together or during sexy times, but if they like you, they may put up with the noise
• Going with the above, always be courteous to the property management even when they are being a bag of dicks to you. It's just not worth getting on their bad side

 

[Septimus Prime]

Scotch guard the future.

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Open the windows when you do that though. The fumes aren't good for you.

 

[TaterTots]

try not to kill each other

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Came to post this. It's an entirely different beast living with that person on your own. I'm sure some habits will start to pop up, but try to be patient with each other and let the other person know in the nicest way possible. With that said, the first 6 months or so will be fantastic.

Also, make sure you have everything ready to go before you move in. Make sure the lights, water, internet, etc. are running and in your name by the first day. It's just easier to have those things out of the way. As far as shopping for furniture, if you are the type that simply does not care for that stuff, definitely step aside and let her if she even cares, but be supportive of her decisions.

 

[BlastProcessing]

Renters' insurance is cheap. Get it.

 

[Tophat Jones]

Me and my girlfriend spent the weekend moving into a new place together for the first time as well. We've been spending quarantine basically in my super crowded bedroom at my old place with roommates. So far it's great. Having our own space and no one else in the apartment rules.

Best of luck to you and your girl.

 

[NihonTiger]

Renters' insurance is cheap. Get it.

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And depending on where you are moving into it may even be required.

 

[greepoman]

Water/moisture is your enemy. Leaking water, spills, etc can cause enormous amounts of damage and even if it's covered it can be long, annoying ordeal to live through repairs. With just the two of you it's more likely things go unnoticed so just be on the lookout for standing water and check under the sinks once in a while.

 

[deimosmasque]

It's important to make sure you both still have an area in your home that is "yours" no matter how small. It can be as simple as "when I'm reading in this chair I'm in my own world" to as complex as "This is my sewing room, knock before entering"

My partner and I are practically the same person with 99.9% the same interests but it still matters for thst 0.1% that you are able to have your space.

Fair division of the chores is important too. My partner and I for example switch who cooks and who does the dishes. (Cooker is never the dish washer unless illness is a factor)

Finally, those little things that don't annoy you in small doses, will become large doses. Make sure to keep communication open and be willing to state to each other what bothers you in an open and loving space.

Congrats BTW! Make sure you fuck on every available surface. (And clean it afterwards)

 

[Blackthorn]

Be careful how you distribute the chores in the first month because after that it's set in stone for life.

 

[Robin]

Renters' insurance is cheap. Get it.

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Definitely getting Renter's Insurance, does anyone know anything about insurance that covers for theft and if it's expensive at all?

 

[Deleted member 4367]

Definitely getting Renter's Insurance, does anyone know anything about insurance that covers for theft and if it's expensive at all?

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Renters insurance usually covers theft.

 

[Deleted member 8593]

My girlfriend and I moved in together at the end of March, shortly before the lockdown. We lived in a flatshare as students for almost a year before I moved out and we lived separately for two years. Some advice for the first few weeks:

- Make sure you both are on the same page when it comes to furniture, and even small stuff such as kitchen utensils, towels or bedding. Since you already lived together for a while, you should hopefully already have found some common ground here.
- I see you're already getting renter's insurance so that's good. If you haven't done this already, think about setting up a separate account just for rent, food and everything concerning the apartment. It's much easier to keep track of your shared expenses that way.
- Quickly come to an agreement about chores. I see this all the time with other couples that I know and it was one of the first things we dealt with. You don't need rules that are set in stone but it's infinitely easier to start with an understanding that both parties have to pull their weight around the house.
- Make sure you both have spaces to retreat to in case you want or need to be alone.
- And more general advice: Talk about everything but be mindful about how you communicate issues. There is (almost) never a reason to attack the person.

 

[Pickle]

Wear protection

 

[hoserx]

Choose battles. Most are not worth fighting.

 

[Rampage]

The big bonus here is that you have experience with room mates and you have lived together with the girlfriend. Most personality quirks should be known by now.

- Make sure you both are on the same page when it comes to furniture, and even small stuff such as kitchen utensils, towels or bedding. Since you already lived together for a while, you should hopefully already have found some common ground here.
- I see you're already getting renter's insurance so that's good. If you haven't done this already, think about setting up a separate account just for rent, food and everything concerning the apartment. It's much easier to keep track of your shared expenses that way.
- Quickly come to an agreement about chores. I see this all the time with other couples that I know and it was one of the first things we dealt with. You don't need rules that are set in stone but it's infinitely easier to start with an understanding that both parties have to pull their weight around the house.
- Make sure you both have spaces to retreat to in case you want or need to be alone.
- And more general advice: Talk about everything but be mindful about how you communicate issues. There is (almost) never a reason to attack the person.

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Add in the photographing of the empty department for deposit reasons and you're good.

 

[El_TigroX]

Figure out budget and money situation pretty much immediately - that will spark unnecessary fights if you don't have an understanding of how you will split costs.

Don't combine money into an account if you're just dating... keep separate, but build healthy habits of reconciling expenses monthly.

 

[Deleted member 8593]

Add in the photographing of the empty department for deposit reasons and you're good.

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That's a good one as well, yeah. In our case, we went around the flat with our property manager and they took the pics themselves and gave us copies of all that stuff.

 

[Deleted member 6263]

It isn't huge at 1000 sq feet

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Idk about you, but that's a pretty big apartment for 2 people. Would recommend taking pictures/video of whatever you find defect-wise.

Congrats on the find and best of luck out there.

 

[boontobias]

Get the sex stank out your couch and other non-bedroom furniture when you have family and friends over. Yes we can smell it. Hit a few febreeze whisps.

 

[Walter White Walker]

From my experience it will all eventually end in disaster. Enjoy the ride, though!
And yes, renters insurance covers fire, theft, vandalism and so on.

 

[ScoobsJoestar]

Congratulations! Just did it with my girlfriend(now fiancee) last year and it was the best thing to ever happen to us. I'd say biggest thing for us was that we made sure we had spaces that were "ours." We shared a room, but we agreed that she got to decorate that room and make it her space, and I got to use the guest bedroom as my office for work. It was really good because I want to spend the rest of my life with that woman, but we both need our space sometimes.

Oh and listen there's going to be a time when you two are living together and you both start ordering way too much takeout because "Hey we just moved together let's celebrate / it's still celebration time!" Don't overdo it :p

Also this is not a must or whatever but something my partner and I found awesome was buying some decoration for the living room together, really made us feel like "holy shit we're adults decorating our own place" and was a nice bonding experience haha.