Literally the only reason my wife and I got married was because her mother was an asshole and wouldn't let us just elope (and at the time, my wife was pretty beholden to her mother... something we didn't let continue once we had kids). We did manage to keep it small and not incur years of debt over it at least.Trust me, it's not for the people getting married either. It's mainly for the parents and family of the couple.
This is (partly) why the misses and I are eloping.
I ain't putting that pressure on people. We're going across the country without making my family either go broke or feel shitty for being unable to attend.
Yeah, wish we had been more secretive and just done this. Good luck when the time comes, use the money you save for an awesome time afterwards!