Wage Transparency Between Friends

[Lobster Roll]

Let's talk money, Era. Or ... let's not. Because I don't know anybody here so I don't think I'm going to start sharing details about my finances. However, when it comes to people you trust endlessly and would consider to be your closest friends in the world (i.e. there's a 0% chance they would share a secret or privileged information with anybody), how much do you share? Are finances discussed? Do you feel comfortable talking about money with your friends? Are you able to comfortably reconcile with the idea of knowing that you have far better or far worse means than your closest friends?

Maybe my friends and I are weird, but we talk about this stuff all of the time in open, detailed terms. We are all aware of who makes dollars and who makes dimes in the group, but we never let it affect how we interact as friends, nor is there ever any pressure on the dollar guys to add more to a collective experience than the dime guys. There are moments where the dime guys are asked what their budgets look like and what's reasonable for a group experience, but that's about where the "balancing" aspect begins and ends.

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

I don't know and I don't want to know what my friends make.

 

[Akira86]

no one talks about that shit, not even friends. best friends maybe.

 

[entremet]

Just salaries. We're pretty transparent. We're in different industries and professions so it doesn't really help much lol.

But nothing deeper than that.

 

[Dest]

I only know a couple of friends salaries and that's only because we try and help each other out trying to find work since we're all in the same field and want to make sure we're all getting paid what we're worth.

Outside of that, I don't know anyones pay and absolutely do not care to.

 

[hjort]

I don't really care what my friends make, and I'm pretty sure they don't give a shit about what I make, so we don't talk about it. If we did I think we'd all be cool with disclosing pretty much anything, though.

 

[Jag]

My buddy is also my accountant so there's that.

 

[Nickgia]

I'm not sure nor do I really care. I assume everyone makes more than me because I know their professions and they know mine.

 

[Slayven]

no one talks about that shit, not even friends. best friends maybe.

Click to shrink...

even then offhandly, it's weird. Nothing good can come from being in someone's pockets

 

[GYODX]

I only share it with friends who are also engineers since I know they're making about the same money as me. We're fairly open about it and it helps our respective negotiating positions and career decisions.

I don't share it with friends who aren't engineers, though. Made that mistake in the past and it changed how they viewed me.

There's a reason talking about money is taboo, and it's not entirely because it benefits your boss: it creates resentment and makes people feel inadequate, even if you know you shouldn't feel that way an intellectual level.

 

[exodus]

My salary's mostly public, so there's no secret, really.

With my closest friends I'm fine talking debt and other things. Helps to talk it out sometimes.

 

[Bear Patrol]

When we've talked about it, we've shared pretty much everything with each other.

 

[MikeProtagonist]

I barely know the employment status on anyone except my closest friends, so no. I'm not sure exactly how much my sister makes, only that it's more than me.

 

[Deleted member 22750]

I don't know and I don't want to know what my friends make.

Click to shrink...

I feel the same. I know very little and I dont really fall into any of these

 

[tiebreaker]

Everything, well for best friends, which for me is only a couple.

Normal group of friends, just salary.

 

[Turbowaffles]

Well, I don't have any friends so this isn't an issue for me. If we change that to "co-workers" instead I know almost all of them make more money than me despite me technically being in a "higher" position and doing more work overall. Pisses me off so much.

If I had friends I wouldn't want to know what they make and wouldn't want them to know what I make, despite it being fucking pennies, lol.

 

[bawjaws]

I don't know and I don't want to know what my friends make.

Click to shrink...

Yep.

no one talks about that shit, not even friends. best friends maybe.

Click to shrink...

Yep.

How much my friends make is none of my business. Even within my family I only have a very rough idea what my siblings make, and how much their houses cost, but beyond that nothing, and that's totally fine.

 

[MercuryLS]

Only my closest friend for 25 years knows how much I make and some details about my debt/bills. He's pretty open himself too.

 

[Karak]

0. Unless I am bitching about a video doing poorly or randomly they are bitching about something. But overall no one talks about it, no one discusses it, and it would not even be a field of interest for any of them

 

[Ze_Shoopuf]

Literally none of my US friends discuss any of that- we're not interested.
My Greek friends complain that close relatives have zero problem asking about that though.

Are your friends Greek?

 

[SabinFigaro]

Literally everything. From salary to benefits.

That being said, most of my friends are in the same profession, so we all know generally what the other makes. My actual best friend is in a profession that literally couldn't be more different, but we're still an open book on the matter.

 

[Captain Tuttle]

There's no "we don't share" option in the poll

Honestly it's never come up

 

[SageShinigami]

Yeah I know what my friends make, roughly. It's not really a big deal, but I'm also super close to my friends. (Close enough that they can sleep over without ever there being an issue. They just let themselves out in the morning.)

 

[Jeffolation]

We don't talk about it.

 

[Tiny Hawk]

Rarely does it come up, but when we chat about money stuff, it's usually just about salaries+benefits. I only really get into it with my friends who're in the same industry as me though.

 

[Thunder11]

Friends in the same field - salaries/compensation

otherwise, huge mistake to tell randos

 

[GameDev]

We do, and you should if you're in software development.

Every company wants senior level engineers for intern level pay. I've seen so many engineers that may only have less than two years official experience, but due to personal projects are more skilled than a lot of senior engineers and could find a job that pays properly for their skill level if they searched for it.

We don't do it as a substitute for busting out the rulers. We do it so we can benchmark how much we should be making because so many companies try to keep employees in the dark.

 

[Firebricks]

Why would you risk your friendships with people over something as trivial as money. Its easiest just to not discus it.

 

[entremet]

Friends in the same field - salaries/compensation

otherwise, huge mistake to tell randos

Click to shrink...

Friends are not randos lol

 

[Lobster Roll]

Literally none of my US friends discuss any of that- we're not interested.
My Greek friends complain that close relatives have zero problem asking about that though.

Are your friends Greek?

Click to shrink...

No, we're all just regular ol' American mutts. For example, I was recently entertaining the idea of putting money down on a house, so I texted my best friend who lives in an area I really like. I asked him how much his house was when he got a mortgage, how much he put down, what bank he used, what his interest rate was, and how much he was making at the time when he got approved for the mortgage. We then spiraled into debts and expenses and credit scores and it was a long conversation.

 

[Interested Observer]

With my best friend we talk about all that, bar credit score because it's not really a thing here.

My wife is a public servant who is on a pay scale so she talks openly about this with her colleagues, they compare payslips.

 

[TJG662]

Me and my friends are all doing good and are happy for one another. So its nice we can share with one another with things like this.

 

[Dekuman]

My friend is a software developer and he mentioned he makes six figures by accident when we were talking about how gatcha games creep up on expenses , but generally we don't discuss it.

 

[Crossing Eden]

 

[BossAttack]

Of course, we work in the same industry so we want to know what other firms are paying.

 

[Bradford]

Share pretty much everything.

 

[Walter White Walker]

I don't share that info with absolutely anybody, not even family.

 

[Cess007]

There's one friend I have that insist on knowing, but other friends and I rarely mention it, and if it ever comes up, I feel kinda awkward. It's not my business to know

 

[entremet]

Of course, we work in the same industry so we want to know what other firms are paying.

Click to shrink...

The Man has really brainwashed folks lol.

 

[Gabriel]

I have no problem sharing any of my financial details.

For those who don't want to share - thats what lets companies pay certain people so much less...because no one shares salary information so they don't know they are being ripped off. Take the power out of the companies hands!

 

[ChrisR]

No option for none of the above???

 

[HockeyBird]

My friends and I have ball park ideas on how much each of us make.

 

[Bigwombat]

I know and can guess what some of my friends make. Some of them really care about each others salary and judge each other or complain. Especially friends who are in the same field.

 

[Deleted member 4367]

It's handy to know about how well somebody is doing so you don't constantly suggest stuff to do that's too expensive and end up in a Friends situation.

 

[GenericGhost]

We talk enough to know that I make the least amount out of everyone in my friend group by a large margin. And it really sucks.

 

[Jakisthe]

Absolutely no one outside of me, my company's comp department, and the IRS knows what I make - not even my SO.

I might divulge ranges of what specific things cost to close friends, or cumulative spending sometimes, or more detailed if it's less than, say, $5k, but no, I don't share anything about my income with anyone.

TBH the idea of swapping stories back and forth about what I make with anyone, even people I work with, feels unbelievably wrong to me. It's just not what one does in my profession.

 

[Mr Jones]

...It depends.

Close family? I'll tell them any and everything. Friends who I know make more than me based on their profession? Yup, we talk finances. A few times a year actually, so I can keep that hustle going.

Folks who make less than I do? Nope. I've made that mistake before. People look of you differently if they think that you're wealthy. Not in a good way. Think I'm bougie. Doesn't matter if I drive a old Nissan Sentra and haven't bought new shoes since last year.

I wish it wasn't that way.

 

[Quantum Leap]

I'm an open book. I don't know why people act like it's a super private taboo subject that you shouldn't talk about. My own ex-gf wouldn't tell me how much she made an hour. Someone will literally let you eat their ass but oh no money is too intimate of a subject.

 

[Thatonedice1]

This is such a bullshit thing America does. We don't talk about what we get paid so we can stop people from discussing their salaries and bargaining with the company. Not talking with people about their salaries is corporate culture creating a taboo to keep us from organizing. But yeah everyone in this thread has bought into it so whatever >_>

 

[henhowc]

I've never been asked but I wouldn't care if someone wanted to know. I'm a government employee so they could technically look me up in an online database and see how much I make. I've looked up a few friends, acquaintances, and co-workers out of curiosity hah.

I think I've only directly discussed my salary with my brother and parents.