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Lightus

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,137
Yeah, they're real...and they all live on WALLSTREET am I right fella's??

Has this joke been done before I haven't read the thread
 

POOPLE

Member
Aug 5, 2021
511
The Republic of Gamers
This reeks of a scam and of course vampire hunters would say that a great vampire has awoken from its slumber bringing with it a horde of thralls. This is propaganda put out by vampire hunters who just want a little raise their profits, next vampire season were gonna see rates go up for sure.
 

PAFenix

Unshakable Resolve
Member
Nov 21, 2019
14,625
I think Discovery had that documentary series about Dragons being real throughout history, starting with dinosaurs that became sea-faring creatures, and eventually re-emerged on land.

And this was 15 years ago or something so... they've been on some shit for a while

I remember watching it with a friend. I thought it was really cool in a sort of "what if scenario" kinda way!
 

Genesius

Member
Nov 2, 2018
15,486
Oh my gosh I LOVE documentaries like this. They are literally my favorite thing to watch at Halloween. Thank you so much.
 

GungHo

Member
Nov 27, 2017
6,126
9216fee893bc2de6a3232c6448f38508b7637cf2.gifv
 

Mesoian

▲ Legend ▲
Member
Oct 28, 2017
26,431
Motherfuckers will try to blame every weird thing on the occult while simultaneously ignoring the very real, very plentiful missing persons that happen on the border everyday.

This shit is pizzagate with glitter.

Alternate ending:


We've known about them for decades.


They're called politicians.

But for real though.
 

Cilidra

A friend is worth more than a million Venezuelan$
Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,489
Ottawa
I thought we all agree that the vampires are real because they exist in Congress...
Why else would they ban abortions and contraception if not to assure a sufficient stock of their cattle/constituants? A vampire has to eat after all

/s if that was not obvious enough.
 

smurfx

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
10,578
only people that can stop the real american vampires are breatharians with their solar energy powers they have stored up.
 

Ruck

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,280
so like do these people really think they're vampire hunters or are they actors and this is like a fake documentary for those conspiracy theory clicks?
 

julia crawford

Took the red AND the blue pills
Member
Oct 27, 2017
35,166
Makes sense, only vampires are evil enough to invent handegg and call it football
 

Blackbird

Unshakable Resolve - Prophet of Truth
Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,448
Brazil
Vampire here:

If you think we got you with Nosferatu and Twilight, just you wait for what i'm currently writing.
 

SpankyDoodle

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,082
Keanu is starting to show his age now, but I guess that would eventually have to start after 500+ years of living.
Hahahahaha you are a fool and his ruse has worked. Now that the internet exists and people have access to the pictures through history he knows the jig is up, so he has to "age" to keep up the charade of humanity. It's just makeup. He'll eventually "die" and then in a couple hundred years someone looking suspiciously like that one actor from the turn of the millennium will show up.

Did they even try to explain the thermodynamics of it? 'Cause like, I'm pretty sure a vampire would need to drink a lot of humans' worth of blood to maintain their metabolism. I don't know enough biology to do the math, but I'm pretty sure the energy density of blood is pretty terrible.

Vampires only work if there's magic involved and it's all life force stuff. If they're trying to present it as just a biology thing... 20k vampires are gonna need to be murdering a lot of people.
Would the fact that Vampires are undead help with that?
 

Blairbat

Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,101
Sacramento, California
I believe it. I think vampires are cool, but I don't think id want to be one. I am vegan so it is like...yeah. And plus being a vampire would kinda make you a cannibal? Having to rely on blood, which would be tricky to get from humans...sounds like a not so fun life to live. And it is just another thing to worry about that you need to do to stay alive. Sounds like a pain in the ass.
 

rjinaz

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
28,392
Phoenix
I believe it. I think vampires are cool, but I don't think id want to be one. I am vegan so it is like...yeah. And plus being a vampire would kinda make you a cannibal? Having to rely on blood, which would be tricky to get from humans...sounds like a not so fun life to live. And it is just another thing to worry about that you need to do to stay alive. Sounds like a pain in the ass.
Humans make new blood everyday. It is one of the reasons people can donate frequently. I think it really would not be that hard to find willing participants. Like if you are not an evil type vampire, instead the charismatic, long lived with super powers type like An Edward Cullins or Bill Compton, I would imagine finding friends would be pretty easy. Hell I would donate to a vamp buddy, no problem.

I would imagine in real life a vampire would become an almost cult like leader with people surrounding him or her at all times.
 

Book One

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,814
World just keeps getting stupider. No reason to fix real things like healthcare, civil rights and human rights when you can just distract with dumb shit like this at best, or get the conspiracy morons going n another direction and influencing others at worse.
 
Oct 25, 2017
4,770
Lol I need to check this out. Also, Ya'll know about Skinwalker Ranch? Apparently Werewolves might be real?
The fuck is going on here?
In Oregon, a man said his health deteriorated after a glowing blue orb passed through his body. A family in California reported strange lights and a gray figure with spindly legs in their orchard. A werewolf-like creature allegedly prowled around homes in suburban Virginia.

www.military.com

How Believers in the Paranormal Birthed the Pentagon’s New Hunt for UFOs

The Pentagon's new office for what has been rebranded as unidentified aerial phenomena, or UAP, has deep roots in the paranormal.
 

Strings

Member
Oct 27, 2017
31,381
Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making vampires and I saw one of the vampires and the vampire looked at me!
 

Courfeyrac

Member
Oct 28, 2017
671
Scotland
Look I have a lot of quesions but why are these "Vampires in America" clearly in Edinburgh in that trailer footage?

EDIT: I realise he does say "Scotland" at the start but seems a waste if half of the trailer is not set in the US.
 
Oct 27, 2017
489
Look I have a lot of quesions but why are these "Vampires in America" clearly in Edinburgh in that trailer footage?

EDIT: I realise he does say "Scotland" at the start but seems a waste if half of the trailer is not set in the US.

The trailer does not adequately prepare you for the places this goes.

The hunters start to investigate 'vampire attacks' in the desert, and meander their way to Tuscon. After finding a 'vampire den' at an 'abandoned' truck stop, they interview the former roomate of vampires and follow the lead to an empty warehouse/arcade.

The owner of the warehouse kindly meets with them to tell them that a mysterious man will rent the warehouse for raves from time to time (a way for vampires to gather victims to feed on, as popularized by german vampires).

Through the use of their sophisticated V-Net, our hunters learn the potential identity of the master vampire, and that he owns a lot of property across the U.S. They travel to a storage lot owned by this mysterious figure, and what do they find?

In each storage unit, there is a vampire's coffin and the Mark of V, a symbol used by vampires to alert one another to their presence.

Except... this symbol has a single line through the V. Now, the vampires know they are being followed.