I thought people might be interested to know what testing is like currently.
TL;DR - booking a test is very easy and fast. Results take a day and a half. However, it's easy to fuck up the test because they are all self-administered and the instructions are a bit vague.
I live near Leeds. My child (pre-school age) had a fever on Thursday night (40.5). She's barely left the house in 3 months, but did play in a pub beer garden on Wednesday. She understands not to go near people, so we didn't think it was covid, but best to be certain.
Googled NHS coronaviusrus testing. Booked a test online in about 10 minutes.
You answer a quick survey (why do you want a test? etc.), give a name, phone number, email and (optionally I think) your NHS number. Also asked your ethnicity (optional).
It asks if you can drive or if you want a walk-in or mailed test.
You can ask for a test for up to four people (we just did one since no-one else has symptoms).
Chose the drive in test, it gave us 3 options within 10 miles.
Booked the test at 9:30 and could chose appointment times in half-hour slots, starting at 10:00.
You get emailed a QR code. Turn up at the centre and get it scanned. Short queue to get seen (like <5 minutes).
Told to keep windows up in the car and talk loudly through the glass. Open the window a crack for them to pass you the test kit and instrructions.
Park up, read instructions and self-administer the test. Told to put your hazard lights on when complete or if you have trouble.
The instructions are kinda vague. Swabbing tonsils is clear, but the nose swab is vague as fuck, "insert up nostril until you feel resistance". The pictures are useless. Literally a picture of a face with the nostril circled and a swab next to it. I know what a nostril is, I don't need help identifying it. How about indicating how far to stick it up there?
Testing a small child is hard. Tonsils are super-hard because of gag reflex (it's optional for small children and it's best to go nose only, for reasons revealed later in this story).
You break off the end of the swab and put the swab in a vial, put the vial in a bag and put that bag in another bag.
Anyway, they check you've bagged it up right, then you seal the bag and drive to the exit. They scan your QR code again, you crack open the window and put the bag in a box.
Job done, took about 15 minutes from turning up to leaving.
So, test completed by 11 o'clock, told it'll take about 24 hours. Results arrived by text/email at 4 pm the next day (Saturday), so just over 24 hours.
Result - "inconclusive, please book another test".
There's no info about why it was inconculsive. I suspect we did the swab badly, so I try and google it. You see wildly different examples in pictures (typically showing you inserting it so far up the nose it's gone round the bend and is now at the back of the mouth, which is frankly impossible) compared to actual videos of trained nurses giving the test (reaching the top of the nose, to an uncomfortable but not unrealistic depth).
We also infer from our googling and finding some NHS nurses' instructional PDF that the tonsil test is the tricky one. The same swab is used for both (tonsils first, then nose) and it's easy to get the swab covered in phlegm from gagging and I think that the large amounts of bacteria on your tongue can mess things up if you tongue touches the swab (and small children will push the swab away with their tongue).
Anyway, we booked another test on Saturday afternoon. No waiting time. Booked a test online at 5 for between 5 and 5:30. Went to a different drive through centre. Not sure if the previous centre was a temporary one due to a possible Leeds hotspot in Gipton or if it's just closed on Sundays. This test centre was much bigger, and practically empty when we turned up.
Same process as last time, so I expect every test centre runs exactly the same protocol. This time the guy handing out test kits suggested not doing the tonsils for my young child. I'm guessing we're not the only people to get inconclusive results.
Got results of the test this morning. So not the next day, but not bad considering we were tested late afternoon and the next day was a Sunday.
Negative, thank god. And my child is back to full health.
So, the testing is working very well. What the government do with the testing data is less clear. I mean, they have it all scanned in and linked to my childs NHS records, so the only problem should be extracting the data. I'm surprised they don't ask for an address. It's on the NHS records, but they are often old (mine were always out of date durign my twenties when I moved house often) and it's probably hard to extract data from NHS databases due to privacy protections. If they just asked for my postcode, it'd make it much easier for them to share the data and identify hotspots.
Anyway, sorry for the super long post. I hope some people found it interesting.