Trying to understand people who sincerely don't like children...

[lenovox1]

Simple reason why I don't like to be around kids- anxiety.

Being around kids sends my anxiety through the roof- I'm always tense, on edge, and cannot relax around them. I'm always worried about doing and saying the right thing around kids. They are big responsibility, and I fear failing them.

It is not fun being endlessly mock by society for not "liking" kids.

Click to shrink...

This right here and being treated poorly as a child by either your parents or by other children seem to be the biggest reasons why some people don't immediately love all children.

And children can be great, but it does take a special kind of relationship to connect with them. The type of relationship that you would had to have been shown by your own guardians.

 

[lenovox1]

I showed this thread to my wife last night (who does not read ERA), and she thought the responses were HILARIOUS. I thought that this was a particularly insightful post, so I read it to her. She said, "Nope, it's not that deep. Kids are just annoying. Stop trying to psychoanalyze me."

I laughed at this because 1)I still think there's something to what you Prax said. It was a great analysis. 2.) I'm super guilty of trying to psychoanalyze all the time - which she can't stand - which made me chuckle.

Thanks for the fun, ERA. She laughed her butt off with some of the kindred spirits here.

Click to shrink...

TBH, it probably isn't that deep.

If she thinks kids are annoying now, she's probably always thought kids were annoying, starting from her own childhood.

 

[Prax]

I showed this thread to my wife last night (who does not read ERA), and she thought the responses were HILARIOUS. I thought that this was a particularly insightful post, so I read it to her. She said, "Nope, it's not that deep. Kids are just annoying. Stop trying to psychoanalyze me."

I laughed at this because 1)I still think there's something to what you Prax said. It was a great analysis. 2.) I'm super guilty of trying to psychoanalyze all the time - which she can't stand - which made me chuckle.

Thanks for the fun, ERA. She laughed her butt off with some of the kindred spirits here.

Click to shrink...

Haha "kids are just annoying" means she has little patience, but she knows she needs to be patient with her own.
Why is it so costly for her to feel patient and tolerant of kids to the point she dislikes them (or other people and little things for that matter?), while you have more energy for it? It's a a psychological cost thing, and yes, it's about personality differences.

Though if she's not really the type to introspect, then nothing will be "that deep" in her mind. lol

 

[-Tetsuo-]

Whats so hard to understand? Kids are annoying as hell.

 

[sHitman]

I don't like kids except my own. But I don't like most adults either so it does not really bother me.

 

[Cats]

I'd more readily apply most of the negative things being said in here towards adults than I would children lmao.

Click to shrink...

I don't really enjoy kids because of the work, but I have to agree. At least they have an excuse. Adults that act like like little kids at work and stuff though? It's so cringe, embarrassing, and overall just pathetic.

 

[NCR Ranger]

Kids are funny and their antics generally amuse me. There is a thin line between amusing though and annoying little shit. Most parents are good about reigning them in when they are the latter, but I also don't work or anything in places where you will have to deal with shit parents doing shit jobs.

Though I wasn't always this way. I become much more tolerant of kids after watching my nieces and nephews. Before I used to be one of those people who would go "god damn worthless parents and their shit kids" to myself when a kid would make a sound. Now I am more "Oh yeah that shit sucks. I feel for those parents" most of the time. Granted there is a line, but most parents/kids are fine.

 

[Shola Akinnuso]

...Though if she's not really the type to introspect, then nothing will be "that deep" in her mind. lol

Click to shrink...

You must do this for a profession or major because you're nailing it. That sentence defines so many of our conversations!

 

[THEVOID]

Kids are annoying as hell! Except my own.

Worst kids are when parents think everything they do is so cute! It's not and annoying.

Save the cuteness for Cats and Dogs. That's cute.

 

[Landy828]

I don't think anyone likes badly behaved or annoying kids. Mine are great, both behave in school and everywhere else. They've never thrown a fit in a store, in public, or caused any problems. Sitting here with my 12 year old and 7 year old daughters right now watching that new Mickey mouse series on Disney+.

My son turned one this weekend, he's a tornado around the house, but he's always been good around other people and in public. We'll see if he is like his sisters as he gets older.

 

[Rampage]

This right here and being treated poorly as a child by either your parents or by other children seem to be the biggest reasons why some people don't immediately love all children.

And children can be great, but it does take a special kind of relationship to connect with them. The type of relationship that you would had to have been shown by your own guardians.

Click to shrink...

Well, that too. Didn't really want to delve into that though.

It not that I hate kids.
It is I hate how kids make me feel inside.

 

[Cosmozone]

This is not how this works lol

Click to shrink...

Ehh, you should know what it means. They're subject to rules but being noisy or obnoxious at times is perfectly normal and nothing to get worked up about.

 

[infinitebento]

I cant stand children because I am not/have never been naturally maternal in the slightest. they make me really uncomfortable + i dont find them endearing at all.

whats worse is when people see im a woman and im not comfortable with children and their reactions are like OMG BUT YOU HAVE A VAGINA WHY DONT YOU LIKE KIDS WHATS WRONG WITH U

 

[pleaseinsertdisctwo]

General lack of empathy I guess, they're having trouble seeing through other people's point of view. Parental instincts makes them love their own kids, fortunately. Children are living in their own world. Gotta let them do their thing.

Click to shrink...

Lmao @ "general lack of empathy." Are you kidding me? Some people don't have enough spare energy to enjoy being around mean, selfish, loud little humans. It's even worse because it's not socially acceptable to tell a parent that they're doing a horrible job.

 

[Prax]

You must do this for a profession or major because you're nailing it. That sentence defines so many of our conversations!

Click to shrink...

Ha, I did major in psychology, anthropology, and linguistics with some focus on language development in children, but not much of that was focused heavily on personality and motivations. I think I just have special interest in that kind of thing!

She sounds like the type who would say "I like what I like" and shrug about it lol. I am kind of like that too, though there's always ways to expound on specifics or "bullshit" an essay about a thing. My prediction if it hasn't happened already with other things: as long as the experience with raising your kid is positive, she will probably mellow about this subject in a few years when she gains nostalgia for when your child used to be young and see other young children with that lens. She probably needs to be touched by experience before opening up to something.

 

[____]

Making a big deal out of kids is like making a big deal out of a birthday imo. I just don't see what's special about them. At all. Anyone can have them at any time.

Get them from around me.

 

[JeTmAn]

Lmao @ "general lack of empathy." Are you kidding me? Some people don't have enough spare energy to enjoy being around mean, selfish, loud little humans. It's even worse because it's not socially acceptable to tell a parent that they're doing a horrible job.

Click to shrink...

Being selfish and loud is our natural instinct; we only become able to suppress it through learned behavior. Stop blaming parents for raising human beings. Stop expecting children to act like adults.

 

[pleaseinsertdisctwo]

Being selfish and loud is our natural instinct; we only become able to suppress it through learned behavior. Stop blaming parents for raising human beings. Stop expecting children to act like adults.

Click to shrink...

I don't really have a problem with the selfish and loud thing. Like, at all. I understand that it's natural. Every human goes through phases of narcissism and etc etc. But it's def. a reason why I don't enjoy being around them. Why would I enjoy that?

And honestly, most of the stuff I remember from preschool-middle school was kids being horrible to each other.

I would say people maybe love being around kids because it evokes a sense of "child-like wonder" and whatever, but I'm the type of person that doesn't want to fit into the "becoming an adult = becoming boring" description, so kids kind of offer nothing for me.

Am I mean to kids when I'm around them? No, not at all. I understand why they are the way that they are. But do I ENJOY spending time with them? No.

It's really not that serious and I haven't put much thought into it. But at the end of the day people have a finite amount of energy and I definitely do not have enough spare energy to make my opinion of kids more positive. That doesn't mean I lack empathy or introspection, and the people in here that say that are ridiculous.

 

[Cosmozone]

Lmao @ "general lack of empathy." Are you kidding me? Some people don't have enough spare energy to enjoy being around mean, selfish, loud little humans. It's even worse because it's not socially acceptable to tell a parent that they're doing a horrible job.

Click to shrink...

It's not an abnormal trait and I'm not saying they're horrible people or whatever. Everybody is selfish to some degree. Some are less then others, some more. For kids, you can at least be optimistic that it can still change. Assholish adults actually stay that way forever, lol.

 

[pleaseinsertdisctwo]

It's not an abnormal trait and I'm not saying they're horrible people or whatever. Everybody is selfish to some degree. Some are less then others, some more. For kids, you can at least be optimistic that it can still change. Assholish adults actually stay that way forever, lol.

Click to shrink...

That's absolutely true!

 

[JilloftheJungle]

They are boring and aren't interesting. That's my view. But you and your wife had kids which is the crazy part to me!

 

[Deleted member 18360]

It's not an abnormal trait and I'm not saying they're horrible people or whatever. Everybody is selfish to some degree. Some are less then others, some more. For kids, you can at least be optimistic that it can still change. Assholish adults actually stay that way forever, lol.

Click to shrink...

But I can readily imagine someone not wanting to have kids because they have too much empathy, too. Our existential condition isn't the easiest thing to come to grips with and parenthood denotes enough responsibility that someone failing to meet those responsibilities could it to be emotionally devastating.

 

[BarringGaffner]

A colleague at work, talking of their 18 month old son, told me 'they say that you start to like children when you have one, but it isn't true even when it's your own.' I was like 'oh.... k...'.

His wife and him apparently both dislike (but maybe love slightly?) their child somehow.

 

[Feep]

Oh look, another thread with people discussing how much they hate kids and babies.
It legit disgusts me that the moderators allow these threads to exist when any other group of people that were said to be disgusting, awful etc etc... would result in countless bans.
Seriously. It's awful.

I have two children of mine own, they are lovely little beings filled with highly complex emotions and hormones rushing through them as they grow rapidly.
My wife works with children who are hurt by people who happen to also hold such toxic views about kids. The fact that it's allowed on this forum to basically hate kids again is baffling and utterly absurdly double standard when we promote as a community such open arms for so many.

Click to shrink...

Late on this, but get over yourself. No one above you, once, said they actually hated kids, and the OP was asking for a different worldview.

 

[Shroki]

Hate is strong. Hate is for bad people. Children being sucky is inherent and many of them will grow into lovely people.

If you want to know why I can't stand them? Children are somehow simultaneously the most boring and irritating people in the world. They're loud; they're only funny when they're little and they wipeout a bunch but even that gets old. They ruin dinner dates and theatre experiences all the time. When other people's kids are around it fucks up everything from the mood to the conversation to the smell.

I no longer go to the homes or hang out with friends who have kids when their children are around. Won't do it. It's akin to hanging out with a problem alcoholic minus the danger. It's just annoying and awkward and shit.

 

[Static]

Sometimes thirty to fifty of them run into my yeard in 3-5 minutes while my feral hogs are playing, and what am I supposed to do then?

 

[ffdgh]

Don't hate them but I rather not be around them.

 

[Keyframe]

I am also like this. I don't find them cute, and most little kids are just annoying and disgusting to me.

Click to shrink...

same here.

 

[Dyno]

Yeah dont hate them but rather not be around them. Loud, messy, high maintenance. Just things I find highly frustrating

 

[UraMallas]

Sometimes thirty to fifty of them run into my yeard in 3-5 minutes while my feral hogs are playing, and what am I supposed to do then?

Click to shrink...

That's why we have the second mendmint.

 

[pleaseinsertdisctwo]

But I can readily imagine someone not wanting to have kids because they have too much empathy, too. Our existential condition isn't the easiest thing to come to grips with and parenthood denotes enough responsibility that someone failing to meet those responsibilities could it to be emotionally devastating.

Click to shrink...

This is def one of the reasons why I don't want a child. I would question my parenting 24/7 and the paranoia and stress would crush me. I would be a walking guilt machine

 

[pleaseinsertdisctwo]

Hate is strong. Hate is for bad people.

Click to shrink...

I hate Donald Trump, I hate racists, I hate homophobes, I hate white supremacists. I also hate people who say this, as some narcissist I knew who only cared about his image would constantly harp on people who use the word "hate." Months later I would hear about him apparently screaming about how much he hates me behind closed doors.

Now what?

 

[Boiled Goose]

Definitely don't care for babies at all.

Children can be cute. But so many are poorly raised and annoying that I hate them all.

 

[Shroki]

I hate Donald Trump, I hate racists, I hate homophobes, I hate white supremacists. I also hate people who say this, as some narcissist I knew who only cared about his image would constantly harp on people who use the word "hate." Months later I would hear about him apparently screaming about how much he hates me behind closed doors.

Now what?

Click to shrink...

I don't care.

 

[TaySan]

Children are extra work that I don't want to have in my life.
I'm already over worked and overstressed and mentally ill.

 

[pleaseinsertdisctwo]

I don't care.

Click to shrink...

Well now I'm definitely convinced that only bad people use the word "hate." Thank you sweetheart!

 

[Dead Guy]

I'm currently sitting in an airport while a group of 10 kids under 10 are running around screaming their head off while all of their parents sit on their phones and do nothing.

You wanna know why people dislike kids it's this shit right fucking here.

 

[Commedieu]

Lol. The internet hates kids. Straight up.

Did we have that flying thread here or the old country?

 

[Avitus]

Kids can be extremely fucking stupid and annoying, especially if you have no relation to them.

People generally dislike kids because of bad parenting. Well behaved kids don't get noticed at nearly the same rate.