This may be an unpopular question to ask, but... Are we too obsessed with sex?

[EmptyGirl]

Great post that needs to be acknowledged.

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Amazing post

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Pin it

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Thank you for saying this so eloquently.

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I would say yes, but not for the reasons you listed, OP. The problem comes from how biased, overt, and spotty the male, white heteronormative standards and depictions of sex are to the point of consistent harm towards those with or without a sexual identity or preference, not necessarily how frequently broadcast sexual content. I know EmptyGirl has been quoted a lot, but she puts it much better than I could as I was typing this:

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+1 on EmptyGirl's post for sure.

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A bit late but thank you for the kind words everyone! Glad that my post resonated with so many

 

[deimosmasque]

I'll be honest: I think prostitution is bad, though I didn't always think so during my adolescence. And I think porn is also bad. I think both should be banned or curbed as much as possible. The idea of making females and sexual minorities into sexual objects is a bit... immoral, no?

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So I have been following this thread but this single part of the OP is still bugging me.

As some of you may know I have worked in the adult entertainment industry both in front and behind the camera.

Why should such things be banned? This isn't the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, etc. In the 2020s and before women have been at the forefront of both the porn and sex work industries. Taking control of it. And while there is still A LOT of work to do to make all off those industries more favorable to female workers it has been getting better.

The rise of cam modeling, Onlyfans, ManyVids, etc has made it so sex workers can control their own content.

If prostitution was universally legal with similar controls it could help sex workers of any gender.

So why, when it's on the verge of universal acceptance do you want it to be banned?

 

[Midee]

Yeah OP it seems like you just went from one extreme (porn obsession) to the other (rejecting sex, wanting to ban prostitution, etc) and it doesn't sound very healthy. Its fine to not want to be sexual for whatever reason, but wanting to force that on others is pretty shitty. Like Emptygirl said, more education (among other things) is key.

 

[BizzyBum]

I just want to know why people get so weird when we get horny.

Like you can have the most pleasant, mild mannered person that can turn into a devious, kinky animal when horny and then when you're relieved you go back to being "normal" again. lol

 

[JJD]

I think most people are just joking and trolling when it comes to the tall RE lady. No one is really getting horny over that.

 

[Rendering...]

Puritinism isn't the way. Sex positivity is the way.

Educating people while they're still in school about how to be safe and responsible. Combating toxic masculinity by teaching empathy and critical thinking with humanities classes. Destigmatizing non-straight orientations and non-cis gender identities. Reducing the toxic influence of Judeo-Christian repression and sex shaming. Keeping religion separate from politics. Making health care free or affordable for all people.

Sexuality is one of the core human drives. You don't fight it, and you don't ban expressions of it. That never ends well. Instead, you teach people how to be balanced, healthy, and respectful to others. And you remove as many barriers as possible to reproductive health and sex positive practices.

 

[Comrade Grogu]

So I have been following this thread but this single part of the OP is still bugging me.

As some of you may know I have worked in the adult entertainment industry both in front and behind the camera.

Why should such things be banned? This isn't the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, etc. In the 2020s and before women have been at the forefront of both the porn and sex work industries. Taking control of it. And while there is still A LOT of work to do to make all off those industries more favorable to female workers it has been getting better.

The rise of cam modeling, Onlyfans, ManyVids, etc has made it so sex workers can control their own content.

If prostitution was universally legal with similar controls it could help sex workers of any gender.

So why, when it's on the verge of universal acceptance do you want it to be banned?

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I'm worried about people like myself that may have obsessive tendencies, tbh.

But it is true that I've been called a man of extremes.

I don't want to ever go back.

 

[purseowner]

Some great posts in here, but also a lot of casual (and hopefully unintentional) aphobia.

Asexual people exist. Bear that in mind when making sweeping generalisations.

 

[construct]

sex should be normalized, not oppressed

Ummm sorry to rain on everyone's parade but like some of the implications in the OP and in this thread are not very well thought out.

The problem with the degree of sexuality in culture right now is that it is almost exclusively commodified and controlled by cis het white men. The problem is rape culture. The problem is monopolies in the porn industry. The problem is the criminalization of sex work. In other words, the fact that sexuality is more visible in society is not a problem--the problem is that only a select few control how sex is portrayed culture, and those same people reap most of the profits of leveraging sex in culture.



These ideas are all wrong. First of all, banning or curtailing pornography does not erase it from society--it simply forces it underground, where models, sex workers, and erotic artists will be forced to navigate much riskier environments. We are seeing the consequences of this happening right now in the US, where misplaced ire over online pornography (stoked by right wing Christian organizations under the false pretenses of "protecting children") has spurred senators to develop bills that will restrict individuals' ability to create pornographic content without giving up their identities. Fortunately these bills have not been passed yet, but if they do pass they will create harsher environments for people in porn and sex work, and the latter industry has already been devastated by the equally misguided SESTA-FOSTA.

Besides the fact that restricting porn wouldn't fix any of the issues with our current culture around sex and sexuality, it would also decrease the avenues by which queer people can express themselves. Like it or not, a lot of LGTBQ+ culture emphasizes the importance of sex because mainstream cishet patriarchal society demonizes queer sex and queer people. It is vital that we be able to create and view representations of ourselves, both in sexual and nonsexual contexts. Since mainstream society deems even chaste depictions of queer relationships as somehow "more adult" than straight relationships, a pornography ban would potentially restrict queer art that has little to do with sex. And to be blunt, because US (and global) sex education is so abysmal, pornography is currently the only avenue that many queer people have to explore their own identities. I first learned about trans people from pornography. Flawed as those depictions might have been, I sure as shit would have transitioned far later in life had I not found trans women via pornography.

Likewise, OP's attitude about sex work is completely wrong. A demand to buy and sell/barter for sex will always exist (especially if you are a woman with little other lucrative options under capitalism), and criminalizing it just pushes sex workers into unsafe environments where they have less control over their labor. Decriminalizing sex work is the only way to ensure that sex workers (many of whom choose the profession because their marginalization and/or disabilities prevent them from obtaining livable wages by other means) can organize for their rights as workers, and can live with dignity without the fear of persecution. OP called themselves a Marxist...well, decriminalizing sex work is the Marxist position. Doing so would allow sex workers to more readily control their labor, and would weaken monopoly hold on both legal and criminalized sex industries.

We could actually change cultural attitudes towards and media depictions of sex through proper sex education, education about queer people, education about consent, decriminalizing sex work, and dismantling monopolies in the sex industry. Formally repressing the expression of sexuality in media would simply amplify the disparities and injustices already present in our current sex culture.

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great post

 

[MoonPhase]

Some great posts in here, but also a lot of casual (and hopefully unintentional) aphobia.

Asexual people exist. Bear that in mind when making sweeping generalisations.

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so much this

 

[Solo]

I personally feel that it's one of the best experiences we can have in our lives so no, I don't think we are too obsessed with it.

 

[Brawly Likes to Brawl]

I think most people are just joking and trolling when it comes to the tall RE lady. No one is really getting horny over that.

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okay sure, whatever you say

 

[Brawly Likes to Brawl]

I'm worried about people like myself that may have obsessive tendencies, tbh.

But it is true that I've been called a man of extremes.

I don't want to ever go back.

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That sounds like something you need to speak with a therapist about if you haven't already.

 

[RadioJoNES]

Thought this would be about ERA specifically because any thread about sex gets tons of replies lol