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spam musubi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,380
newrepublic.com

The Town That Went Feral

When a group of libertarians set about scrapping their local government, chaos descended. And then the bears moved in.

Hongoltz-Hetling is an accomplished journalist based in Vermont, a Pulitzer nominee and George Polk Award winner. A Libertarian Walks Into a Bear: The Utopian Plot to Liberate an American Town (and Some Bears) sees him traversing rural New England as he reconstructs a remarkable, and remarkably strange, episode in recent history. This is the so-called Free Town Project, a venture wherein a group of libertarian activists attempted to take over a tiny New Hampshire town, Grafton, and transform it into a haven for libertarian ideals—part social experiment, part beacon to the faithful, Galt's Gulch meets the New Jerusalem. These people had found one another largely over the internet, posting manifestos and engaging in utopian daydreaming on online message boards. While their various platforms and bugbears were inevitably idiosyncratic, certain beliefs united them: that the radical freedom of markets and the marketplace of ideas was an unalloyed good; that "statism" in the form of government interference (above all, taxes) was irredeemably bad. Left alone, they believed, free individuals would thrive and self-regulate, thanks to the sheer force of "logic," "reason," and efficiency. For inspirations, they drew upon precedents from fiction (Ayn Rand loomed large) as well as from real life, most notably a series of micro-nation projects ventured in the Pacific and Caribbean during the 1970s and 1980s.

Although John's bids for high office failed, his ambitions remained undimmed, and in 2004 he and Rosalie connected with a small group of libertarian activists. Might not Grafton, with its lack of zoning laws and low levels of civic participation, be the perfect place to create an intentional community based on Logic and Free Market Principles? After all, in a town with fewer than 800 registered voters, and plenty of property for sale, it would not take much for a committed group of transplants to establish a foothold, and then win dominance of municipal governance. And so the Free Town Project began. The libertarians expected to be greeted as liberators, but from the first town meeting, they faced the inconvenient reality that many of Grafton's presumably freedom-loving citizens saw them as outsiders first, and compatriots second—if at all. Tensions flared further when a little Googling revealed what "freedom" entailed for some of the new colonists. One of the original masterminds of the plan, a certain Larry Pendarvis, had written of his intention to create a space honoring the freedom to "traffic organs, the right to hold duels, and the God-given, underappreciated right to organize so-called bum fights." He had also bemoaned the persecution of the "victimless crime" that is "consensual cannibalism." ("Logic is a strange thing," observes Hongoltz-Hetling.)

If the Libertarian vision of Freedom can take many shapes and sizes, one thing is bedrock: "Busybodies" and "statists" need to stay out of the way. And so the Free Towners spent years pursuing an aggressive program of governmental takeover and delegitimation, their appetite for litigation matched only by their enthusiasm for cutting public services. They slashed the town's already tiny yearly budget of $1 million by 30 percent, obliged the town to fight legal test case after test case, and staged absurd, standoffish encounters with the sheriff to rack up YouTube hits. Grafton was a poor town to begin with, but with tax revenue dropping even as its population expanded, things got steadily worse. Potholes multiplied, domestic disputes proliferated, violent crime spiked, and town workers started going without heat. "Despite several promising efforts," Hongoltz-Hetling dryly notes, "a robust Randian private sector failed to emerge to replace public services." Instead, Grafton, "a haven for miserable people," became a town gone "feral." Enter the bears, stage right.

Grappling with what to do about the bears, the Graftonites also wrestled with the arguments of certain libertarians who questioned whether they should do anything at all—especially since several of the town residents had taken to feeding the bears, more or less just because they could. One woman, who prudently chose to remain anonymous save for the sobriquet "Doughnut Lady," revealed to Hongoltz-Hetling that she had taken to welcoming bears on her property for regular feasts of grain topped with sugared doughnuts. If those same bears showed up on someone else's lawn expecting similar treatment, that wasn't her problem. The bears, for their part, were left to navigate the mixed messages sent by humans who alternately threw firecrackers and pastries at them. Such are the paradoxes of Freedom. Some people just "don't get the responsibility side of being libertarians," Rosalie Babiarz tells Hongoltz-Hetling, which is certainly one way of framing the problem.

Meanwhile, the dreams of numerous libertarians came to ends variously dramatic and quiet. A real estate development venture known as Grafton Gulch, in homage to the dissident enclave in Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, went belly-up. After losing a last-ditch effort to secure tax exemption, a financially ruined Connell found himself unable to keep the heat on at the Meetinghouse; in the midst of a brutal winter, he waxed apocalyptic and then died in a fire. Franz quit his survivalist commune, which soon walled itself off into a prisonlike compound, the better to enjoy freedom. And John Babiarz, the erstwhile inaugurator of the Project, became the target of relentless vilification by his former ideological cohorts, who did not appreciate his refusal to let them enjoy unsecured blazes on high-wildfire–risk afternoons. When another, higher-profile libertarian social engineering enterprise, the Free State Project, received national attention by promoting a mass influx to New Hampshire in general (as opposed to just Grafton), the Free Town Project's fate was sealed. Grafton became "just another town in a state with many options," options that did not have the same problem with bears.

The bear problem, in other words, is much bigger than individual libertarian cranks refusing to secure their garbage. It is a problem born of years of neglect and mismanagement by legislators, and, arguably, indifference from New Hampshire taxpayers in general, who have proved reluctant to step up and allocate resources to Fish and Game, even as the agency's traditional source of funding—income from hunting licenses—has dwindled. Exceptions like Doughnut Lady aside, no one wants bears in their backyard, but apparently no one wants to invest sustainably in institutions doing the unglamorous work to keep them out either. Whether such indifference and complacency gets laundered into rhetoric of fiscal prudence, half-baked environmentalism, or individual responsibility, the end result is the same: The bears abide—and multiply.

The distinction between a municipality of eccentric libertarians and a state whose response to crisis is, in so many words, "Learn to Live With It" may well be a matter of degree rather than kind. Whether it be assaults by bears, imperceptible toxoplasmosis parasites, or a way of life where the freedom of markets ultimately trumps individual freedom, even the most cocksure of Grafton's inhabitants must inevitably face something beyond and bigger than them. In that, they are hardly alone. Clearly, when it comes to certain kinds of problems, the response must be collective, supported by public effort, and dominated by something other than too-tidy-by-half invocations of market rationality and the maximization of individual personal freedom. If not, well, then we had all best get some practice in learning when and how to play dead, and hope for the best.

There's a lot more in the article, and presumably in the book. And it's frankly quite insane. Not only does it show the hilarious and complete failure of libertarianism to deal with any systemic problem, it also kind of encapsulates a certain segment in America's response to the pandemic.
 

krae_man

Master of Balan Wonderworld
Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,595
That's what you get when you don't pay the $5 bear patrol tax.

NXhKr2v.jpg
 

Grug

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,645
It's cool. If we eliminate drivers licenses all the 8 year old kids driving should run over the bears in time.

The invisible hand will sort it all out if the government just gets out the damn way!
 
Oct 25, 2017
10,399
"Free Towners were finding that the situations that had been so easy to problem-solve in the abstract medium of message boards were difficult to resolve in person."
You know these guys are fucking morons among other worse things, but I feel like if ERA made its own town we'd have the same problems...
 

Sunster

The Fallen
Oct 5, 2018
10,012
Yep that sounds about right for a libertarian society. truly a kindergartener's idea of how society should function.
 

sprsk

Resettlement Advisor
Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,450
If only it didn't take ruining a town for these morons to realize their stupid ideas don't work... (if they even did)
 

Brunire

▲ Legend ▲
Member
Oct 25, 2017
933
I haven't read too much into libertarian beliefs but I have always wondered how things like infrastructure would be handled. Is it just assumed that it would be profitable enough as a privatized commodity and not get left behind?
 
Oct 25, 2017
10,399
The bear problem, in other words, is much bigger than individual libertarian cranks refusing to secure their garbage. It is a problem born of years of neglect and mismanagement by legislators, and, arguably, indifference from New Hampshire taxpayers in general, who have proved reluctant to step up and allocate resources to Fish and Game, even as the agency's traditional source of funding—income from hunting licenses—has dwindled.
Beyond dunking on these idiots, this part is pretty sad.
 

Jack Scofield

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,449
Thanks for sharing this, OP. This sounds fascinating and I will definitely give it a read. I don't think I would have heard of this book if it weren't for this thread, so thank you!
 

deepFlaw

Knights of Favonius World Tour '21
Member
Oct 25, 2017
23,495
Reading the article now. Some of the bear stuff is, let's say, decidedly less funny than what was excerpted.

...kinda interested in reading this book, now, regardless.
 

Pantaghana

The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
1,221
Croatia
Seems like a good enough reason to post this
IT IS A FINE DAY in the Libertarian utopia. Archibald Elbert Winchell rose from his bed bleary eyed, but well rested and focused to meet the day. As he rose, his bed servant, a lovely girl of thirteen whom he had contracted out from her mother, a mine worker, rushed to signal the other servants to begin the day. In truth he liked the girl, but he was contractually obligated to give her the lash if she was too slow about her business- and, after all, contracts were everything.

She returned with a small group of other contracted servants -calling them indentured was rather gauche, not to mention old fashioned- proceeded to wash him down and then dress him. After he was fully clothed he stepped out on his balcony and looked over his holdings.

When Archie was a young lad, in a time he barely remembered, men of means such as himself were encumbered by a thousand petty rules and regulations governing everything one could imagine. The government stole half of Archie's father's fortune, or so the old man claimed. When Archie went over the books, he found the old man had exaggerated, but even five percent of his income was a theft beyond belief. What cowards they must have been, to accept such a yoke.

Stretching on before him was a plantation of size and efficiency that would stun the old masters of the south: coca plants for cocaine production and poppy fields stretched from horizon to horizon. Heroin and crack cocaine were Archie's products. He'd doubled his profit margins in the last year by cutting his product. A few dozen people had died, he heard, but the motto of the new society was their guide: caveat emptor.

In that spirit, Archie waited patiently for his food tasted to sample each of his items. Archie had all of his food examined, and then tasted. He's lost two servants this year to e-coli, another to metal shavings in the food, and a third to dysentery. A shipment of canned tuna had been improperly soldered with lead, but Archie caught it in time. As an informed buyer, he did what was appropriate when he purchased poisoned, contaminated, or otherwise inedible food: he took his business elsewhere.

There was much to do, but first, he had to review the fees and cut a check to the local police squad. There were three of them, and Archie made sure that he was a good patron, and so his boys would deal with any issues on his land discretely, and would turn a blind eye to his... excesses.

After a breakfast of steaky, fatty bacon, foie gras, horsemeat, a touch of shark fin soup and whale tartar, he rose for the day in earnest.

His automobile was one of the finest available, with a sixteen cylinder engine and open mufflers. To think, when he was a boy, the government told people what equipment to have in their vehicles! Why waste money on a seat belt when he had no intention of crashing?

With a handful of his own trustee guards, he first toured the plantation slowly, stopping to speak with the overseers one by one. The work was back breaking, and this year alone he'd lost six of his employees to accidents of various stripes. Most of them hadn't chosen to purchase health insurance with Archie's company scrip, even though his price was quite reasonable. The poor unfortunates often didn't have enough legal tender or credit to pay the door fee at an emergency ward, but that was not Archie's concern; no man had a right to healthcare, after all.

Outside his walled compound, Archie drove fast. Speed limits were a distant memory, and his contracted police ignored him no matter what he did. It was a short drive into town, to his office.

He spent the morning reviewing memoranda and reports from his mining operation. Archie ran a tight ship in his asbestos mines, increasing his margins by forgoing safety equipment and primarily hiring children, who were better suited to underground operations.

He had a dozen lawsuits from grieving mothers, but it was no matter- contracts were contracts and his were ironclad, even more so when reviews by Archie's panel of employed judges; the contract forfeited the right to a state court in favor of individual arbitration.

Archie received the accounts, and visualizing the gold he was collecting (fiat currency was long abandoned, greenbacks were near worthless, and most trade took place in checks, IOUs, and company scrip) Archie loaded his pockets with some of his own scrip and a few gold coins, and went out on the town.

While strolling down the main avenue past the drug dealers, strip clubs, and brothels, he strolled into his favorite gun store to overlook the new wares. He had his eye on particular on a new rocket launcher. Such weapons were freely available to own, but only men of means such as himself could purchase them. It was for the best- not only did the old government perform a background check -something that mystified and horrified Archie- they let just anyone who passed one buy guns as they pleased. Foreigners, blacks, even women. Archie vividly remembered when the change came and the old government fell. His mother wept when she was forbidden her work as a physician and all her credit and bank accounts cancelled, but later on she grew happy and content.

Outside, a familiar pimp offered Archie the chance to peruse the new wares. None were to his liking, so he passed and willed away a few hours at a gladiatorial game; they used to call it "football" before the machetes were introduced. To Archie, it seemed like feet had little to nothing to do with the ball.

After some absinthe and laudanum, Archie met with a few similar men of means. It was time to settle down and he was in the market for a bride. The girls sad meekly while Archie and his negotiating partners dickered and haggled over them. The girls didn't strike his fancy and the offers were poor -they all wanted stock in his drug trade- so he'd have to come back another day.

Near sunset, Archie returned home. There had been more injuries; a twelve year old runner mowed down by a tractor, a broken leg, and a knife fight arranged by two of the overseers who'd grown bored. He would fire them, of course. His friends in the police would deal with the troubles. The contracts left him no liabilities, but he was kind enough to see that the injured were transported to the edge of his land, where they would need to arrange further travel to the emergency wards themselves. Their chances were poor, but alas, Archie had no responsibility to them. To even contemplate it would be to submit himself to slavery!

After a lovely dinner of ostrich eggs and giraffe filet, he retired, calling his bed servant to join him. He was tired from the day and had no plans to make use of her talents, but he'd grown used to her presence. He could marry her if he chose, and was sure she'd be grateful, but marriage was for making contracts. It was understood that the girl and her successors would remain, discretely, and his new wife would say nothing or be cast out of his house without a penny. So it was.

Archie did not awake again until he felt thin legs straddling his waist and fire about his neck. A silk cord from one of his window treatments was wound around his neck, burning. The girl's eyes met his and before his throat closed, he managed to gasp out, "Why?"

And she said, "I got a better offer."

Source
 

RiOrius

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,074
I haven't read too much into libertarian beliefs but I have always wondered how things like infrastructure would be handled. Is it just assumed that it would be profitable enough as a privatized commodity and not get left behind?
Pretty much. Roads will be built and maintained with tolls, fire departments funded by a voluntary subscription (and anyone who doesn't subscribe doesn't get to have the firefighters put their house out if it catches fire), every utility is paid for a la carte (unless an unregulated corporation decides to bundle some up). Don't like your water provider? Well, guess you better lay some pipe into a competing plumbing system in your area to switch!
 

poptire

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
9,972
What a great article. I belly laughed a few times because of the clever wordplay combined with the ludicrous reality of the story.
 

Nelo Ice

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 27, 2017
7,445
Tracking the book for a sale now. Will def scoop up the kindle version at some point.
 

El Bombastico

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
36,035
That's what you get when you don't pay the $5 bear patrol tax.

NXhKr2v.jpg

Even when I first saw this episode way back when I was a kid, I assumed Springfield had some of the best bureaucrats and accountants on earth if they were able to staff a Bear Patrol with trucks, helicopters, and a B2 Stealth Bomber while only charging its citizens $5 a month.
 

Dalek

Member
Oct 25, 2017
38,911
Libertarians didn't fully think things out to their logical conclusion? You're kidding.
 

Horp

Member
Nov 16, 2017
3,709
"While we still don't want big government we have now realized we at least need the bear necesseties"
 

Daphne

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
3,688
Wow, this is fascinating. Shame they couldn't have just played Bioshock and realised how stupid this philosophy is like so many naive teenagers before them rather than ruining theirs and other people's lives to learn the same lesson. I'm going to buy this book, read it, then replay Bioshock to see it all simulated again, haha.
 

Beer Monkey

Banned
Oct 30, 2017
9,308
I was a libertarian for a handful of years a few decades (yes, decades) ago.

I grew the fuck out of it.

Imagine being a libertarian and thinking that the West would have made it intact through WWII if even a few of the Allies were Libertarian states. Imagine thinking that.

Think bigger. Libertarians are completely lacking in the ability to believe in anything bigger than individual selfishness.
 

medinaria

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,536
One of the original masterminds of the plan, a certain Larry Pendarvis, had written of his intention to create a space honoring the freedom to "traffic organs, the right to hold duels, and the God-given, underappreciated right to organize so-called bum fights."

this might be one of the funniest sentences ever put to (virtual) paper

libertarians are such a blessing sometimes
 

Lucini

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,528
I came here for bear patrol, and bear patrol was delivered.

This sounds similar to another city, I think it was in Colorado (?) where it was politically taken over by some form of "taxation is theft" people and the town promptly failed. Can't remember the name though.
 

Xater

Member
Oct 26, 2017
8,905
Germany
Pretty much. Roads will be built and maintained with tolls, fire departments funded by a voluntary subscription (and anyone who doesn't subscribe doesn't get to have the firefighters put their house out if it catches fire), every utility is paid for a la carte (unless an unregulated corporation decides to bundle some up). Don't like your water provider? Well, guess you better lay some pipe into a competing plumbing system in your area to switch!

I already see a problem with the fire department because the fire does not care about your ideals. It might get bigger and other houses might catch fire.

God libertarianism is stupid.

i think I need to read this book. Sounds like a good read though. A cautionary tale.
 

Version 3.0

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,161
That is quite a read.

And, unfortunately, this problem is not confined to New Hampshire, nor even Libertarians. The USA has a deeply ingrained distrust of its own government, and an even more deeply ingrained belief that taxes are too high. The GOP, of course, throws gasoline on the fires of those beliefs every chance they get. I see these even in my own circle of family and friends, who are in other respects very progressive.

Our government needs to learn to promote the many services it provides. For example, I remember reading in Michael Lewis' book, Fifth Risk, that many people who receive small business loans don't even know, and aren't told, that the loans they receive from local banks are government-backed. And that they would be denied otherwise. Especially in red states, where that information would be practically blasphemous. These morons are allowed to believe that they "bootstrapped" themselves and that the government shouldn't interfere. IIRC, there are actually laws preventing parts of the government from doing any such promotion. And that's just one example.

Instead, in I think literally every example I've ever heard from a politician, of what our government does for us, domestically, the phrase "build roads and bridges" is used. Like that's all our government does with all our tax money.

Speaking of Fifth Risk - where's the Netflix adaptation, Obama? Would've been nice to let people see how Trump gutted the entire government from Day 1 when he took office, by not appointing people to head agencies, appointing unqualified people, or appointing uniquely unqualified people who opposed the agencies' goals.