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Dec 22, 2017
7,099
Netflix has a never ending supply of terrible kids shows. I try to limit their viewing to PBS kids.

I will admit that I actually kinda like Sofia the First. The music has no business being as good as it is. My theory is Disney was sitting on decades of unused/rejected songs from their movies.
 

jon bones

Member
Oct 25, 2017
26,030
NYC
subbed

my daughter is too young for TV now, but i am dreading having kids jingles and shows on :/

hopefully Disney+ has a bunch of good stuff
 

Tetrinski

Banned
May 17, 2018
2,915
I don't remember the names of most, but I'm pretty sure most cartoons I watched in Spain as a kid in the 90s were amazing and still would be. Most were Spanish, South American or even Galician productions, and were aired on public TV, which I think makes a difference in this case.

Any Xabarín Club members on Era? That was the best show ever. It aired on Galician public TV, and they'd hire local bands to make songs and videoclips that they'd air between cartoons. Most local bands played punk rock at the time, so the songs were, yes, for kids, but always rad, and the videoclips were super trippy and fucked up in a good way, like one about a guy trapped in his washing machine. I also remember one about a woman's right to kick your ass if try to do shit without her consent. In college and in my twenties, every time we throw a party, near the end when everyone is hammered we always play this songs (they made dozens of them) and it's awesome that everyone still remembers the lyrics because they are arguably cool songs even nowadays. Also, if you were a club member, they'd show your picture for a few seconds on TV on your birthday. Not being on TV on your birthday for a Galician kid was like not having internet nowadays lol

I could talk about that show all day, it was so good! Also, they played a lot of anime, and as the afternoon went on, the shows would aim for older kids. The last show was always Dragon Ball. They also had like a news segment were they'd explain news in a way that kids would understand them, but always cool and positive news like space missions and stuff like that.

I consider myself incredibly lucky to have grown up with such good quality TV, I honestly believe it had a great impact in my life. I think what made it so great is that they didn't treat us like idiots for being kids, they understood that, while we'd watch anything, we'd appreciate good quality content. The people behind Xabarín did the best possible job with very limited resources.

"Somos do clube da galega,
Por fuciños, por cachorras!".

Here is a playlist with most of the videoclips, Skip the cartoon ones and see for yourself the music 6 years old Galician children listened to in the 90s, I can't believe we didn't conquer the world afterwards: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5523089DB6467279

I have friends from other regions of Spain who'd tune in and watch it even though all the content was in Galician instead of Spanish lol
 

excowboy

Member
Oct 29, 2017
692
Paw Patro is utter garbage. The pups are fucking useless unless Ryder tells them what to do and most of the time they're just picking up litter or something equally non-heroic. Also, the design/animation/acting are all shit.

On the flipside, Octonauts is genuinely superb. They are an actual team of heroes who get shit done, it looks great and teaches you amazing stuff about the ocean (do you know what a Siphonophore is Era?).

Guess which show my kids prefer :'(
 

Jon Carter

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
5,746
We live in the U.S., but our son is half-French and half-Japanese. I don't know any good French kid TV programs, but we subscribed to a Japanese TV service and we're showing him an awesome program called Okaasan to issho. The four hosts are made up of two singers and two dancers, and they also have a bunch of pretty charismatic characters. They do skits, songs and dances, and the songs are catchy as fuck. I end up partly watching it because it's just good music and the skits are adorable. Every once in a while, they perform on stage as well. Very talented people... who aren't allowed to date or do anything else while they're employed lest they be caught kissing someone in public and parents start complaining. Japan gonna Japan, but it's a great program and it's been airing for 60 years.

 

Grug

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,645
Paw Patro is utter garbage. The pups are fucking useless unless Ryder tells them what to do and most of the time they're just picking up litter or something equally non-heroic. Also, the design/animation/acting are all shit.

Mayor Goodway should be impeached for deputising a chicken and outsourcing all of Adventure Bay's emergency services to a 12 year old boy and his dogs.
 
Oct 27, 2017
7,488
As a father of a 3 year old and a 5 year old, I am subjected to endless awful kids TV. What are your "favourites"?

Mother Goose Club
This show seems to have had 2 eras. The first was the worst. It's essentially a live action show featuring kids singing nursery rhymes, but it's just so AWKWARD. The kids are terrible wooden stage school kids with teeth like ipads and adenoid problems acting out scenes like they've got an off camera gun to their head. You can even see their eyes occasionally dart nervously off camera looking for their parents or a prompt card. They also have a weird habit of doing the words slightly wrong. The second era was a bit better, but in an attempt to get kids who were better at their jobs, they are older, which leaves this weird situation where you've got 14 year old boys with baby-fluff moustaches & half broken voices acting as if they have learning difficulties.

Ruby & Max
Max is a 3 year old rabbit, and his sister Ruby is a few years older. It's a cartoon. For some reason their parents are absent, and Max essentially seems to be autistic, and walks around repeating one word such as "fire truck" while his older sister follows him around saying "Maaaaax" in a squeaky voice. She won't leave him the fuck alone. EVER. "Maaaaax", "What are you doing Maaaaaax?", "Don't touch that Maaaaaaaax!". This especially bugs me because one of my kids is autistic, & the last thing he would need is someone following him around the house, and being endlessly disappointed at him in a squaaky voice.

Ugh, I can't bear Ruby and Max. Especially if you're British and find some American accents incredibly grating.

As others have said, Duggee is legit brilliant. Also when they're a bit older Horrible Histories is absolute gold.
 

Erik Zarkov

Member
Dec 4, 2017
275
I am blessed in that my daughter only seems to really like Daniel Tiger. I've tried a few other shows, Peppa Pig, Dinosaur Train, My Little Pony, Paw Patrol, and Little Baby Bum videos, but she always comes back to wanting to watch Daniel. However, I made the horrific mistake of teaching her how "Johnny Johnny" goes, and now she constantly comes to me wanting to do her version of it. She usually gets bored of it after the 20th time or so.
 

Powdered Egg

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
17,070
My kids' Top 5 shows are:

Octonauts
Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood
The Magic School Bus (90s version)
The Real Ghostbusters
BLIPPI

Blippi needs to holla at Nicki Notes. Worst breakup since NWA.
 

LDNStateOfMind

Avenger
Oct 26, 2017
516
Got a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. Fireman Sam is by far the most watched show. Some other favourites:
Biggleton - the acting is hilarious
Waffle the dog - cracking theme tune
Anything with Justin/ Mr tumble
 

Lagamorph

Wrong About Chicken
Member
Oct 26, 2017
7,355
Fortunately my 2 and a half year old niece loves Pokemon and Power Rangers.
 

Bio

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
3,370
Denver, Colorado
My son loved Yo Gabba Gabba for a few years when he was much younger, but thankfully that was the only show that really bothered me.
 

jkanownik

Member
Oct 27, 2017
149
PJ Masks sucks. The characters are unlikable. It is often really loud and/or has annoying sounds. It makes no sense at all.
 

Coxy

Member
Oct 28, 2017
2,187
For me, Bing. He's such a whiny little bitch. I also hate that he uses bad English like "I fell over and hurted my knee". Bing sucks.
Yep I can't stand Bing. He moans all the time, doesn't speak properly and most importantly killed a butterfly once and lied about it
 

Lucreto

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,645
I just went through some on the shows I watched as a kid and 90% were utter shite as well.

M.A.S.K
The Trap Door
Rodger Ramjet
Count Duckula
Super Mario show
Family Ness
Playdays
Rosy and Jim
Round the Twist
The Raccoons
Banana Man
 

weekev

Is this a test?
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,215
Paw Patrol, Paw Patrol

We'll be there on the double

Whenever there's a problem

'Round Adventure Bay

Ryder and his team of pups

Will come and save the day
This and PJ Masks is my morning from half 7 till half 8 every second morning. On the alternates my daughter gets to pick so we usually watch Pokemon.
 

Ringten

Member
Nov 15, 2017
6,195
How has no one mentioned blues clues. I hate that with a passion!

Not an adult , but quite a few toddlers in the household at times
 

Abaddon

Member
Oct 25, 2017
674
Hey Duggee is absolutely amazing, I will happily sit and watch that with my little girl, it's got tons of geeky jokes that will go right over toddlers heads. She loves Bing but we've never really had a problem with it.

I'm not against Paw Patrol as some but that might just be because she only has a passing interest in it (only really likes Skye and Everest and they never really show in it much). We try to avoid Peppa but she's starting to like it, mostly though toys she's gotten as gifts.

My absolute blinding hate though is Topsy and Tim. Can't stand them. And In the Night Garden is like having a horrendous trip every night, luckily she's past that phase.
 

CthulhuSars

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,906
Timed tv viewing is a must and even with that in play I can regurgitate almost every episode of Sofia the First or Spirit from any point. Childrens tv is really hit or miss but at least PBS shows are far better than most programming for children especially when it comes to parent sanity.
 

carlsojo

Member
Oct 28, 2017
33,873
San Francisco
My kid is stuck on the Miraculous Adventures of Ladybug and Cat Noir. It's so dumb... And so good. Legit yelling at my TV because I want Marinette to tell Adrian how she feels. And for them to reveal their secret identities to each other! *Tears out hair*
 

CthulhuSars

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,906
My kid is stuck on the Miraculous Adventures of Ladybug and Cat Noir. It's so dumb... And so good. Legit yelling at my TV because I want Marinette to tell Adrian how she feels. And for them to reveal their secret identities to each other! *Tears out hair*

The good thing about that show is it is campy in all the right places.
 

Lkr

Member
Oct 28, 2017
9,528
Not a parent but the kids in my family make me put on the Mickey Mouse show that airs on Disney (all cgi). It's not bad by any means but too repetitive imo
 
OP
OP

Deleted member 44129

User requested account closure
Banned
May 29, 2018
7,690
I am blessed in that my daughter only seems to really like Daniel Tiger. I've tried a few other shows, Peppa Pig, Dinosaur Train, My Little Pony, Paw Patrol, and Little Baby Bum videos, but she always comes back to wanting to watch Daniel. However, I made the horrific mistake of teaching her how "Johnny Johnny" goes, and now she constantly comes to me wanting to do her version of it. She usually gets bored of it after the 20th time or so.
Daniel Tiger coming up to the screen and doing the "ugger mugger" thing at me always feels like I've been violated. I didn't consent to this.

But I do like to invent my own Daniel Tiger style songs - "If your mum & dad are trying to get some sleep - Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up"
 

Ary F.

Member
Oct 30, 2017
736
I live in Spain, so I'm only able to go back home during the Winter holidays. My fam leaps at the opportunity for me to babysit my seven nephews and three nieces (not all at the same time of course). I've lucked out because the older kids prefer shows like Adventure Time reruns, Clone Wars reruns, Captain Underpants, and The Amazing World of Gumball (the humour is absolutely WASTED on little kids).The younger kids prefer Baby Shark on replay, Peppa Pig, Paw Patrol, and Tinga tales, then effing around on my old Gameboy Advanced (the grey one with no backlight).

My nephews rarely like going out or being active so they just stay indoors playing Mario Kart, Smash bros, or watching the above shows. The youngest two of the seven are much harder to entertain since they have the attention spans of goldfish.

Thank god all three of my nieces are tomboys, because all I have to do to entertain them is take them to Planet Granite for four hours followed by Pizza Hut.
 

Erik Zarkov

Member
Dec 4, 2017
275
Daniel Tiger coming up to the screen and doing the "ugger mugger" thing at me always feels like I've been violated. I didn't consent to this.

But I do like to invent my own Daniel Tiger style songs - "If your mum & dad are trying to get some sleep - Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up"

Has your kiddo done the thing yet where they pop their face right in front of yours and then "ugga muggas" you by rubbing their nose all over yours yet? Lemme tell you, it's a treat. A treat filled with snot all over your nose.
 
OP
OP

Deleted member 44129

User requested account closure
Banned
May 29, 2018
7,690
Has your kiddo done the thing yet where they pop their face right in front of yours and then "ugga muggas" you by rubbing their nose all over yours yet? Lemme tell you, it's a treat. A treat filled with snot all over your nose.
My kid is in the middle of being tested for Aspergers and one of the things he struggles to understand is people's personal space, so he does it to strangers.
 
Jan 10, 2018
463
Paw Patrol, Paw Patrol

We'll be there on the double

Whenever there's a problem

'Round Adventure Bay

Ryder and his team of pups

Will come and save the day

My girls LOVE paw patrol. But they HATE it when I sing along to the opening but get the words wrong.

Whenever there's a problem

Down in 'Frisco Bay

MacGyver and his team of pups

Will look the other way

Pup Patrol, Pup Patrol

We'll be there in a bubble

Pup Patrol, Pup Patrol

We'll come and shave your stubble

Rumble
Fry
Face
Boomer
The other ones


Yeah, they're in a play!

I've never seen two 3 year olds with so much hate and rage in their eyes
 

nekkid

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
21,823
Hey Duggee, Peppa Pig and Ben and Holly are fucking great toddler shows.

Blaze isn't a fun watch for an adult (over-stressed morals and over-the-top humility), but it's one of the best educational shows, and my kids love it. Teaches physics, coding, maths...
 
Oct 27, 2017
7,488
My girls LOVE paw patrol. But they HATE it when I sing along to the opening but get the words wrong.

Whenever there's a problem

Down in 'Frisco Bay

MacGyver and his team of pups

Will look the other way

Pup Patrol, Pup Patrol

We'll be there in a bubble

Pup Patrol, Pup Patrol

We'll come and shave your stubble

Rumble
Fry
Face
Boomer
The other ones


Yeah, they're in a play!

I've never seen two 3 year olds with so much hate and rage in their eyes

Ha! Not just me then.

Whenever there's a problem
Round Adventure bay
Spider and his team of lumps
Eat up all the hay
Snore patrol
Jaw patrol
Be there with some bubbles
Bore patrol
Law patrol
Tripping over rubble
Richard
Steve
Chris
John
Wilko
Stinky
A whoa a ho
Bore patrol
A whoa a ha ho
Jaw patrol.
BA BA DA BAM.
 

Deleted member 8257

Oct 26, 2017
24,586
Sounds better than having kid who is addicted to that youtube kid who makes millions and is annoying as hell. The one who basically just shows off new toys, which is even worse as the kids watching also want those toys.

Not my kid but my nephew is constantly watching that.
I saw an in-laws kid throwing a tantrum about it. This is before our kid was 2. As my kid got older, he started watching it as well and I was horrified. Completely spoiled brat with goober parents running around and giving him new toys every minute to open. Of course your kid is gonna be spoiled too. I made it my mission to ban Ryan's toy review channel from our house and luckily it has worked. He watches Blippi (4 now) and some Nick Jr shows.
 

Deleted member 8257

Oct 26, 2017
24,586
What I'm most afraid of is when our kid goes to school next year and beyond, and all his kid friends are watching shit ass YouTube personality channels, and he gets peer pressured into watching those as well. My nephew (8) is glued to iPad with these nonsense YouTube channels.
 

jon bones

Member
Oct 25, 2017
26,030
NYC
What I'm most afraid of is when our kid goes to school next year and beyond, and all his kid friends are watching shit ass YouTube personality channels, and he gets peer pressured into watching those as well. My nephew (8) is glued to iPad with these nonsense YouTube channels.

same - i'm hoping this dumb youtube/ twitch streaming fad dies before my kid goes to school
 

jon bones

Member
Oct 25, 2017
26,030
NYC
You do know that it's only gonna grow. And it's gonna become worse. Like everything on internet.

maybe it will end up like web rings!

or maybe it doesn't resonate as much with girls and i'll only have daughters

my wife has two young cousins (boys) and all they do is stare at their ipads watching twitch or youtube and it's the saddest shit i've ever seen
 

MrToughPants

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,164
My 17 month old is addicted to little baby bum and coco melon on youtube.

The songs play in my head all day long at work... 😳

I don't have children but have 2 nieces and 8 nephews so I've been through the ringer. Right now the song that has been blasted so much its a part of me now is this one.


While adorable as hell its not fun to be singing this at work....doo doo doo doo doo doo.....send help.


I got my daughter the baby shark toy, it plays the song when you squeeze it. It was sold out everywhere until we found a store with only one remaining we got lucky.

ln8mIVs.jpg
 

bjork

Member
Oct 27, 2017
887
You just put on Teletubbies to solve the problem of bad tv. Not the new Teletubbies where they have babies or whatever. Original-ass 1990s Teletubbies. Guaranteed to solve the problem of bad tv because everyone will fall asleep. It's relaxing.
 

Deleted member 9241

Oct 26, 2017
10,416
I made it through:

Wow Wow Wubbzy
Lazy Town
Yo Gabba Gabba
Dora the Exporer
Ni Hao Kai Lan
Victorious
iCarley

It could have been worse I guess.
 

Distantmantra

Member
Oct 26, 2017
11,173
Seattle
Cailou was horrible, I'm glad my daughter has outgrown that show.

We're now firmly into Cartoon Network, mostly Teen Titans Go and Gumball.
 

Deleted member 25888

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 29, 2017
891
Ha! Not just me then.

Whenever there's a problem
Round Adventure bay
Spider and his team of lumps
Eat up all the hay
Snore patrol
Jaw patrol
Be there with some bubbles
Bore patrol
Law patrol
Tripping over rubble
Richard
Steve
Chris
John
Wilko
Stinky
A whoa a ho
Bore patrol
A whoa a ha ho
Jaw patrol.
BA BA DA BAM.

Just make this whole thread alternate paw patrol lyrics. I can't wait to try this on mine.
 
Oct 27, 2017
7,488
Just make this whole thread alternate paw patrol lyrics. I can't wait to try this on mine.

They particularly enjoy it when I do bad dad dancing whilst singing along. The look of utter disgust on my daughter's face, preparation for when she's a surly teen and I'm still singing bad paw patrol lyrics to her and her cool friends for mad dad banter I expect.

Edit: I forgot about Caillou too, can't bear that show. It's awful. Also I have my own hilarious lyrics heavily featuring the line "I'm just a baldy boy..."