"The look" - Black men and unconscious bias

skillzilla81 · Jul 5, 2019

https://adage.com/creativity/work/p...te-unconscious-bias-plagues-black-men/2179996

This is an ad from proctor and gamble following the one they did for "the talk."

My wife has been struggling with what I have to deal with on the daily. Just today, had lots of lingering glances from white folks because I was existing in their presence.

It's usually something I can just ignore, but sometimes it gets to me and i just wish i could go outside and just...be, without microaggressions, without the unconscious threats these glances imply.

Anyway, video really touched me so I thought I'd share.

PoC-era: share some of your stories.

Also, here's the video on the talk which was probably posted here, but its old and always with reposting.

Maktokious · Jul 5, 2019

nillansan

The Watcher · Jul 5, 2019

Can't really say that I've received many looks in my daily life (my take is because I'm short and meek looking...and I don't pay attention to my surroundings), but that was a good ad.

SaraNWrap · Jul 5, 2019

I live in 90% White and Asian area, I get the looks daily, shits just expected at this point and ain't shit I can do about it.

Deleted member 279 · Jul 5, 2019

Extremely real.

***BUT***

Lets not forget that corporations like P&G are literally bringing upon the apocalypse...

reKon · Jul 5, 2019

skillzilla81 said:
https://adage.com/creativity/work/p...te-unconscious-bias-plagues-black-men/2179996

This is an ad from proctor and gamble following the one they did for "the talk."

My wife has been struggling with what I have to deal with on the daily. Just today, had lots of lingering glances from white folks because I was existing in their presence.

It's usually something I can just ignore, but sometimes it gets to me and i just wish i could go outside and just...be, without microaggressions, without the unconscious threats these glances imply.

Anyway, video really touched me so I thought I'd share.

PoC-era: share some of your stories.

Also, here's the video on the talk which was probably posted here, but its old and always with reposting.

Went to College with the guy in the first video so this surprised me. I did hear about him doing an ad, but I didn't expect It show up here. Good stuff

GUNDAM STARDUST · Jul 5, 2019

Call the number. It's actually a real working number.

TopherDL · Jul 5, 2019

6'2" dark skinned black man here. Yeah, this hits pretty close.

Dullahan · Jul 5, 2019

Damn that's good.

Dreams-Visions · Jul 5, 2019

The look is one of the reasons I get deep satisfaction when slapping my AmEx Platinum on checkout countertops of bougie stores while shopping with my gym shorts and flip flops on. I always feel relieved when I see a salesman of color because I know I'll get good service and feel respect. I always try to be friendly in order to avoid having to deal with the look and the issues that accompany it.

The restaurant thing is a thing for sure for my family, 1* Denny's or 5* steakhouse, it's always a crap shoot whether waiters will forget about us forcing us to get into the Managers ass. The street thing is like at least a few times a week. The driving thing is one of the reasons my windows are well-tinted on all of my cars and rarely rolled down. The sun wasn't the reason; salty white folk was. No, I'm not chauffeuring anyone, bitch. It's my Jag/BMW/Rolls.

Random: I see the look far more here in south Florida than I ever did in Noetheaast Ohio or around U. Michigan. Couldn't say why exactly.

Bob White · Jul 5, 2019

Fucking yup. Walking through military chow halls is the worst. Had a friend of mine stop going to the chow halls during Obama's first election. He said it just got too much for him

Dreams-Visions · Jul 5, 2019

Bob White said:
Fucking yup. Walking through military chow halls is the worst. Had a friend of mine stop going to the chow halls during Obama's first election. He said it just got too much for him

It's like that?

astro · Jul 5, 2019

I will never understand what is happening in a person's mind and heart to treat another human being this way.

mujun · Jul 5, 2019

astro said:
I will never understand what is happening in a person's mind and heart to treat another human being this way.

You and me both. It almost feels like they are aliens or I am. The second vid had me tearing up.

uncelestial · Jul 5, 2019

It's extra sad how in that moment it's the white people who feel threatened. So oblivious and ridiculous, and if they could just understand the power and privileges they have they wouldn't feel that way. I don't even think it occurs to them how threatening they are being, glaring like that

Bob White · Jul 5, 2019

Dreams-Visions said:
It's like that?

Dude, I was called a nigger by a fellow marine...while in iraq. Then the command told the guy's platoon sergeant to apologize to me FOR the idiot under his command.

The sgt and I have a talk and during his apology he starts going on about saying it doesnt make him racist. He tells me all white boys say it because their dads say it...like he did with his dad.

Also, there was this look I'd get from southern marines. Hard to describe but it would be a look that said "im just waiting for him to do/say something BLACK"

I thought it was all in my head until other black guys with my unit told me the same shit.

KillLaCam · Jul 5, 2019

It might be because I have a yellow skin tone but I've only ever received the look when I'm in a group of other black friends. I haven't noticed it alone or with groups of other friends.

I can't understand how so many white people are afraid of everyone, it's stupid.

thetrin · Jul 5, 2019

As a brown man, I don't have to deal with what black men do to a large extent, but I also do not understand what is in the hearts of white people who do this.

One thing that has made for an interesting social experiment has been living in Japan. When you're a foreigner, it doesn't matter what color your skin is. You are always an "other". It doesn't matter how much japanese you speak, or how long you've lived here.

All of a sudden, white people start to get what other minorities go through, but in a safe environment where the majority won't drag them into the streets and beat the shit out of them.

The foreigner community in Japan is really cool as a result. There's no racial hierarchy. It's just a bunch of people from different races and different countries, surviving together.

All the same, I do notice that because of my brown skin, black people in Japan reach out a little farther to make friends with me. I don't know why that is. Maybe because they know as a PoC, they don't have to overcome some indoctrination I grew up to make friends, or maybe because they see commonality in our struggles. I won't pretend I've struggled as much as any black person, but I've had my fair share of being treated like garbage, just for being a PoC.

Glasfrut · Jul 5, 2019

thetrin said:
All of a sudden, white people start to get what other minorities go through

But do they? Hell, I don't want to minimize what they go through but there are still some privileges caked into the experience they have. I've had friends tell me how their employers are more eager to hire white faces for their Eikaiwa (regardless of ability) because of how it will look. Somewhat related, I had a conversation with an older white guy last year about getting the look in Japan. He seemed to be getting it until he added the implication that black guys deserve the treatment because we're uppity. And it's shit like that that makes me think, nah, they don't really get it.

thetrin said:
All the same, I do notice that because of my brown skin, black people in Japan reach out a little farther to make friends with me. I don't know why that is. Maybe because they know as a PoC, they don't have to overcome some indoctrination I grew up to make friends, or maybe because they see commonality in our struggles.

We're in this together, my dude. Just return the nod when we give you the nod.

Urban Scholar · Jul 5, 2019

Dreams-Visions said:
The look is one of the reasons I get deep satisfaction when slapping my AmEx Platinum on checkout countertops of bougie stores while shopping with my gym shorts and flip flops on. I always feel relieved when I see a salesman of color because I know I'll get good service and feel respect. I always try to be friendly in order to avoid having to deal with the look and the issues that accompany it.

The restaurant thing is a thing for sure for my family, 1* Denny's or 5* steakhouse, it's always a crap shoot whether waiters will forget about us forcing us to get into the Managers ass. The street thing is like at least a few times a week. The driving thing is one of the reasons my windows are well-tinted on all of my cars and rarely rolled down. The sun wasn't the reason; salty white folk was. No, I'm not chauffeuring anyone, bitch. It's my Jag/BMW/Rolls.

Random: I see the look far more here in south Florida than I ever did in Noetheaast Ohio or around U. Michigan. Couldn't say why exactly.

Living here my whole life it's probably due to the fact a lot of racial biases are held here due to the large influx of racial identities here. So a lot of negative assumptions are held like it's fact, hence the look.

Yeah the look ain't new to me. See it at Starbucks, gym, mall, etc etc. I don't know guess a 6ft lanky Black man is undeserved of being looked at as a human.

*shrug*

thetrin · Jul 5, 2019

Glasfrut said:
But do they? Hell, I don't want to minimize what they go through but there are still some privileges caked into the experience they have. I've had friends tell me how their employers are more eager to hire white faces for their Eikaiwa (regardless of ability) because of how it will look. Somewhat related, I had a conversation with an older white guy last year about getting the look in Japan. He seemed to be getting it until he added the implication that black guys deserve the treatment because we're uppity. And it's shit like that that makes me think, nah, they don't really get it.

Man, that's some real shit. Fuck that.

Glasfrut said:
We're in this together, my dude. Just return the nod when we give you the nod.

Oh man, I totally give and get the nod ALL THE TIME.

Wait, am I only realizing now that I get the nod from PoCs here? White people never seem to do it...

nillansan · Jul 5, 2019

Maktokious said:
nillansan

Thanks my dude.

Brown skinned. Dealt with this shit and still dealing with it. One of my most vivid memories was walking into a department store with my younger sister. A store clerk started staring at us upon entering the toys department and then proceeded to follow us around. I was twelve and she was seven, even at her young age she felt something was off. Fucking white people.

Nightbird · Jul 5, 2019

Gosh I hate the video because of how true it is

nillansan · Jul 5, 2019

thetrin said:
Wait, am I only realizing now that I get the nod from PoCs here?

It's definitely a thing, I do it all the fucking time lol.

ChaserX · Jul 5, 2019

I think a part of me has just grown to accept that no matter where I go I would get looks from just about anyone, either due to my race, my appearance (a big 5'10" with a stoic look), or just general "aura", and it's gotten to a point where I'll try to avoid eye contact with another person entirely if they're a stranger, just so I can avoid feeling judged or persecuted.

Enterprise1701 · Jul 5, 2019

I can only speak for my friend who is black, but I live in the north of England and while things are not as bad as when we were kids, he still gets the look, he does not say anything but it pisses me off when I notice people doing it.

Maktokious · Jul 5, 2019

nillansan said:
It's definitely a thing, I do it all the fucking time lol.

Wait, there's a nod too?
You've told me about the look before, but the nod is news to me. Please enlighten me.

Kyuuji · Jul 5, 2019

Something I've never had to deal with, and can't imagine living a life having to. Especially with the prevalence that it must happen. Thanks for sharing, video was well made and even though I'm aware through having seen it second hand, it's still something that needs to be called out and spoken about.

nillansan · Jul 5, 2019

Maktokious said:
Wait, there's a nod too?
You've told me about the look before, but the nod is news to me. Please enlighten me.

We're referring to something that occurs amongst POCs. It's a positive thing unlike the look.

Glasfrut · Jul 5, 2019

Enterprise1701 said:
I can only speak for my friend who is black, but I live in the north of England and while things are not as bad as when we were kids, he still gets the look, he does not say anything but it pisses me off when I notice people doing it.

I was standing in an open area with a white co-worker once. Just talking. Minutes later she asks me: "Do people always look at you this much?"

She felt bad but I told her it always happens and just have to try and accept/ignore it. I can't call attention to it without coming off like I'm the aggressor.

People think they're slick but it's so damn obvious when it happens.

ChaserX said:
I think a part of me has just grown to accept that no matter where I go I would get looks from just about anyone, either due to my race, my appearance (a big 5'10" with a stoic look), or just general "aura", and it's gotten to a point where I'll try to avoid eye contact with another person entirely if they're a stranger, just so I can avoid feeling judged or persecuted.

Man, I feel you.

Maktokious said:
Wait, there's a nod too?
You've told me about the look before, but the nod is news to me. Please enlighten me.

It's not a bad thing. Hell, it can be the most uplifting thing to get when you're alone and stand out in a sea of people, especially when it's been a while since you last saw another POC.

It means different things at different times. "I see you", "We're in this together", "I know what you're going through", "I'm not looking for smoke" (lol), etc.

NameUser · Jul 5, 2019

Yup. It sucks. But it's also the reason I walked around with a shit eating grin on my face 80% of the time. I refuse to feel bad about my blackness. I'm a 6'5, 240lbs man and if they feel intimidated, who gives a shit. That's their problem.

As far as the "nod" goes, I don't get it a lot in my area of Ohio. Like a lot of the black dudes in my area are kinda strange. It's the suburbs and I'll see a lot of them with white women and they seem kinda scared to look at me like they're ashamed lol (it's the opposite of the look). Didn't have that problem in the inner city.

But yeah, if you're in a predominantly white place, and you see another black person, please try to acknowledge them if you walk past them.

SENPAIatLARGE · Jul 5, 2019

I live in a pretty diverse city in Massachusetts with a lot of immigrants so the look doesn't happened to often, but when I visit my brother in western mass, the population there is mostly white. Someone is always watching, and if feels like a special occasion when I see a fellow PoC, and we almost always nod to each other.

Deleted member 2210 · Jul 5, 2019

I'm too damn tall, too damn dark skin and too damn silent. Yet don't really give a shit about the look anymore.

Mass_Pincup · Jul 5, 2019

It's unbereable in the subway. Especially when you see the look, then the person searching for another seats only to end up sitting besides you because every other seat is taken.

Soundscream · Jul 5, 2019

Fuck that video hit close to home. Only one I've never experienced is the pool, bit I haven't gone swimming in a long time so there is always time to add that one to the list.

Facism · Jul 5, 2019

I know this feel :(

Marvo Pandoras · Jul 5, 2019

thetrin said:
Oh man, I totally give and get the nod ALL THE TIME.

Wait, am I only realizing now that I get the nod from PoCs here? White people never seem to do it...

Yeah, the nod is a POC thing in Japan. I loved that feeling Japan.

Spinluck · Jul 5, 2019

I'm 6'2", bearded, with a loosely dreaded fro.

Some days I'm welcomed, somedays I'm most definitely looked at like I'm some kind of threat.

Nice ad. Avoid supporting them if you can help it though.

hateradio · Jul 5, 2019

GUNDAM STARDUST said:
Call the number. It's actually a real working number.

I liked that her costar from Claws is in this.

Solaris · Jul 5, 2019

I live in Southern England and one of my colleagues and best friends is mixed race and he gets looks and comments.

The comments even come from clients we work for, they are joking around but one of them asked him if he was a drug dealer when he was getting a lot of work related notifications on his phone, and the other asked if they saw him on Crimewatch (a tv show)

He laughs them off but I know it bothers him and it's really fucked how casual people are with it. They just don't seem to know any better, as where I live is majority white. They'd never say shit like that to me or my white colleagues.

I regret not saying anything at the time but he has told me not to as it'd likely cause problems than it helps and I respect his wishes

It's really opened my eyes a lot more to what POC have to deal with.

ReplacementPelican · Jul 5, 2019

Solaris said:
I live in Southern England and one of my colleagues and best friends is mixed race and he gets looks and comments.

The comments even come from clients we work for, they are joking around but one of them asked him if he was a drug dealer when he was getting a lot of work related notifications on his phone, and the other asked if they saw him on Crimewatch (a tv show)

He laughs them off but I know it bothers him and it's really fucked how casual people are with it. They just don't seem to know any better, as where I live is majority white. They'd never say shit like that to me or my white colleagues.

I regret not saying anything at the time but he has told me not to as it'd likely cause problems than it helps and I respect his wishes

It's really opened my eyes a lot more to what POC have to deal with.

Those comments shouldn't be laughed off, those are racist as fuck, those people should probably be on some sort of course for that shit, if not fired.

Deleted member 41520 · Jul 5, 2019

nando said:
Extremely real.

***BUT***

Lets not forget that corporations like P&G are literally bringing upon the apocalypse...

Was just about to say this.

The meaning is sincere and real but it doesn't come from a sincere place. They made this so you trust them and by their products.

Camstun187 · Jul 5, 2019

This reminds me of the pilot for Curb, where Larry goes on about how he always gives a nod to a black person whenever he passes by...

"I wanna let them know I'm one of the good ones"

Nelo Ice · Jul 5, 2019

I'm brown but shit like this is why I get anxiety when I'm the only minority. I remember just recently I was on a bus to work orientation and was downright terrified when I realized I was literally the only PoC on the bus.

Solaris · Jul 5, 2019

ReplacementPelican said:
Those comments shouldn't be laughed off, those are racist as fuck, those people should probably be on some sort of course for that shit, if not fired.

A couple of us said he can report and get them in serious trouble but he really doesn't want to and I don't want to push him or tell him what he should or shouldn't do.

ReplacementPelican · Jul 5, 2019

Solaris said:
A couple of us said he can report and get them in serious trouble but he really doesn't want to and I don't want to push him or tell him what he should or shouldn't do.

Yeah, I get that, can't be telling people what to do with their lives. Sucks though, man. People are such cunts.

Dreams-Visions · Jul 5, 2019

Urban Scholar said:
Living here my whole life it's probably due to the fact a lot of racial biases are held here due to the large influx of racial identities here. So a lot of negative assumptions are held like it's fact, hence the look.

Yeah the look ain't new to me. See it at Starbucks, gym, mall, etc etc. I don't know guess a 6ft lanky Black man is undeserved of being looked at as a human.

*shrug*

Yea that seems about right. It's quite the culture shock being down here for the last several years and people not even acknowledging other's existence when they walk past each other on the street. Not a smile, not a head nod. Bothers the fuck out of me, tbh.

But yea, I try to be as friendly as possible all the time. I'm on a first-name basis with all of the security guards at my sub-division. Even brought them pizza once. Not trying to become a statistic so I pocket them and hope all is well if they get a call to my residence one day.

Solaris · Jul 5, 2019

ReplacementPelican said:
Yeah, I get that, can't be telling people what to do with their lives. Sucks though, man. People are such cunts.

I feel like it's ingrained into so many white people and they don't even realise something they're saying is racist until they're exposed to it via a POC they're close to.

"Its just a joke!"

Can only hope things change in the future but it's hard to be optimistic about it.

Rayven_king · Jul 5, 2019

shit like this is why my dehumanizing stare is always active

ReplacementPelican · Jul 5, 2019

Solaris said:
I feel like it's ingrained into so many white people and they don't even realise something they're saying is racist until they're exposed to it via a POC they're close to.

"Its just a joke!"

Can only hope things change in the future but it's hard to be optimistic about it.

I dunno man. How old were these blokes? I don't think anyone wouldn't immediately realise how racist that was.

Problem is you'd probably get a 'i would have said that to a white person! It's because his phone's going off, not because he's black.' Even assuming that's true it's an obviously different context.

"The look" - Black men and unconscious bias

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