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The Guardian: I met my girlfriend’s parents – and realised I once slept with her father
- Thread starter Rilakkuma Fanatic
- Start date
Don't tell her. Don't tell her Mother. Tell her Father to get fucked. He has no say in who is Daughter loves.
Yeah, possibly, but at least it would end on the couple's terms not on the dads.
It was somewhat scary at first lol. His dad was on his way out of the house when me and my friend were walking in. My friend had introduced us and it was an awkward silent pause of us staring at each of in shock then he just nodded and left.
You know the feeling as a kid when you got in trouble at school and your parents found out and you know you're going go be in deep shit when you get home. I felt like that lol. I just knew my friend was going to find out somehow that I smashed his dad. He never did though.
People experiment with their sexuality, sometimes thye come out realizing they're gay, sometimes they come out realizing they are bi and sometimes it just reinforces the fact that they're straight because they couldn't make gay sex work. It's not a big deal.
Should have just come to a gentleman's agreement to forget it happened. Just say he's not planning on telling the daughter or wife and leave it at that. I would feel differently if they had an actual relationship in the past. But just a one night stand and he barely remembers the dad; like just forget about it.
We don't know what she knows. There's probably plenty of women who would rather let the husband do what he wants than suffer the perceived shame of having your husband "turn gay" or however they might think about it. If she doesn't know though, yeah I'd say that's a big deal.
No idea what I'd do. This would be awful.
So he just gives up someone he may really love to save her dad and the family? You don't do that, unless he doesn't care if he loses this girl. (telling her may lose her, but I believe the truth is more important)
I mean, my ex's family protected the "family" instead of outing that her grandfather raped her for 8 years. They never protected her from him, and buried him with Military honors and "moving speech" by the pastor.
Not exactly the same, but I don't believe in "saving face" for a family with the suffering of another (the OP and his SO). However, this is fully up to the person in question who would be tied up in it. It really is a situation where others have no way to tell them what to do.
If it's even true.
This is also a possibility, but apparently the father is a horrible person, and making threats. He could just shut up and let them be happy.
I did not tell my friend, his dad isn't out and his parents were married but separated. And yeah we both realized at the same time, I was scared thinking about what would happen if my friend had found out.
How do you get to the point where you're going to propose and you don't know what their parents look like?
Could you imagine making out with the same tongue that's been on your fathers D?
I think I agree with the columnist. That's too complicated. Going to be pain no matter what happens.
What he needs to start with is understanding that he didn't go through a bi "phase"
Sexuality is not a phase.
Sexuality is not a phase.
No, the way he phrases it comes off as if you can just be attracted to men by choice, deciding to be one minute and changing the next. You're either bi or you're not. And some people do experiment, which might have made sense if that's the context in his experience. But don't pull that phase bullshit.
That's what some parents use as an excuse when they send their children to therapy.
How so. Ive slept with guys in their 50s(I'm late 20s). Its pretty normal in the gay community imho.
I think the problem is that the labels we use can be too coarse to define the complex range of sexuality people can have. He may truly have no physical desire for men at this time in his life, in which case the bi label would be a poor fit.
Gay men don't have the hang ups straight people do regarding age differences.
The relationship is essentially over. This girl's father cheated on her mother (as far as I can tell) with her now-boyfriend.
That's just... yeah. It's not going to work. Best not to even broach the subject and risk destroying the family along with the relationship. Just pack it up and go.
Edit:
I also kind of don't believe the story. Hard to verify shit like this, and I know at least one person who regularly writes into advice columns with similarly ridiculous scenarios.
That's just... yeah. It's not going to work. Best not to even broach the subject and risk destroying the family along with the relationship. Just pack it up and go.
Edit:
I also kind of don't believe the story. Hard to verify shit like this, and I know at least one person who regularly writes into advice columns with similarly ridiculous scenarios.
User Banned (1 Month): Dismissing concerns regarding homophobia over a series of posts. Account still in junior phase.
Thats not even close to the main issue though so who cares, really?
It's like a BioWare RPG where you end up selecting option C) pretend insanity and fake your own death.
Lifehack: Destroy both your current relationship, and your partner's parents' relationship, and your partners relationship with their parents with this one weird trick.
(but he absolutely should tell her, because her family absolutely deserves to know that the father is sleeping around)
bi people, mostly
(but he absolutely should tell her, because her family absolutely deserves to know that the father is sleeping around)
bi people, mostly
I've been with enough straight men who've experimented and then stayed with women exclusively to know that sexuality is fluid, but sometimes curiosity only stays curiousity.
I say this while also believing bisexuality exists. For some men, though, it doesn't cross the line.
If my girlfriend had sex with my mom and discovered this after we had started dating, I would want to know. I would consider continuing a relationship with this person to be inappropriate, and I would hope that she would have enough respect for me to let me make that choice. If I found out later that the information had been withheld from me, I would consider it a major breach of trust (to both myself, and my father) and an instance of lying by omission. Her only defensible option, if she wanted to withhold the information (which is her right), would be to end the relationship herself.
This kind of shit is a big deal and not something you hide in a relationship supposedly built on trust.
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"I went through a bi phase until I found a woman who's the love my life, but then I met her father and realized he was one of the people I slept with before. Any advice?"
"OK but you are bisexual, it's not a phase"
Really decent of someone to say in the situation...?
Damn, first thing she gonna think of is
"I sucked my dad's bootyhole off his dick."
So she prolly gonna leave him anyways. I couldn't be with a shawty that fucked my old man.
"I sucked my dad's bootyhole off his dick."
So she prolly gonna leave him anyways. I couldn't be with a shawty that fucked my old man.
We are not in that situation. Most of the posts in this thread would be shitty things to say in that situation. Why are you doubling down on this?
I don't know how he would even want to still be with the girl after realizing this. So awkward.
But it's not a phase, so get off of that. The term offends me and most people who grew up dealing with their sexuality and trying to get people to accept it.
1. Tell the girlfriend: She gets grossed out. Dumps the boyfriend, tells her mother. Mom and dad divorce and girlfriend runs away.
2. Don't tell the girlfriend. Dad treats the boyfriend like crap because he won't just leave; girlfriend starts to hate her father and she runs off with her boyfriend who never discloses anything.
Option 2 might work?
EDIT:
3. Option 1 happens. Then Boyfriend and Dad get back together with no guilt.
2. Don't tell the girlfriend. Dad treats the boyfriend like crap because he won't just leave; girlfriend starts to hate her father and she runs off with her boyfriend who never discloses anything.
Option 2 might work?
EDIT:
3. Option 1 happens. Then Boyfriend and Dad get back together with no guilt.
also yeah 'bi phase' is some weird privileged shit to say, like you can just slough off sexual identity like snakeskin
just accept thats a part of you in general
just accept thats a part of you in general