The Grand Land Animal Tournament

[Feep]

Weekend ERA, let's go.

Every land animal on Earth is pitted in a one-on-one bracket-style tournament. I'm curious which animal, of all animals, would prevail. It's possible there is some rock-paper-scissors stuff occurring, but I doubt it. Here are the rules:

1) The approximate statistically average animal of that species is in the fight. If males and females have significant differences, the larger/deadlier of the two is chosen.
2) The arena is a flat plain of dirt. No trees, nowhere to hide.
3) Animals do not suffer cumulative damage between fights.
4) Assume each animal considers the other a threat, and attempts to kill. In the case of animals who are specifically prey, and would run away continuously, they would automatically be eliminated after refusing to engage after a set period of time.
5) No tools or outside equipment can be brought in. Sorry, humans.
6) This is purely a thought experiment to determine the deadliest land animal on Earth. Do not advocate real harm to animals, except mosquitos, fuck mosquitos!

So, who wins? I'm thinking a hippopotamus, possibly. Rhinos or bears? How about the deadliest snake? Probably not enough venom to subdue the larger creatures out there?

 

[QisTopTier]

How do elephants not auto win this?

 

[Feep]

How do elephants not auto win this?

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A charging rhino would likely wreck an elephant? Elephants have very low speed, I dunno.

 

[QisTopTier]

A charging rhino would likely wreck an elephant? They have very low ability to do damage, it seems like.

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Are you serious? Enraged bull elephants have killed rhinos and hippos. The only predator for an Elephant is a Human they are too big and strong.

 

[Scarlet Spider]

Tier Zoo was made for this. Elephants win by a landslide. Bull Elephants are shown goring and tossing Rhinos around.

 

[Feep]

Are you serious? Enraged bull elephants have killed rhinos and hippos. The only predator for an Elephant is a Human they are too big and strong.

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I'm having trouble finding confirmed reports of elephants killing rhinos, though I did find this article in which an elephant appears to manhandle a rhino. So you may be correct, though the initial conditions may matter, here.

https://www.express.co.uk/news/nature/513893/Elephant-vs-Black-Rhino-Battle-Fight-Death

There are also some reports of single lions taking down elephants, though that seems to be an anomaly and they usually do it in packs.

Edit: And maybe a King Cobra? They seem to have enough neurotoxin to do it, but the elephant would likely kill it too, so it would be a draw.

 

[Septimus Prime]

Yeah, it goes to elephants, outside some other animal (like a snake or something) getting in a lucky shot and taking it out first.

 

[Rodan]

Elephants take the crown based on sheer size alone. Disregarding them, second and third place are more of a contest. I'd take a rhino over a hippo, and then take the big cats over a silverback gorilla. Outside of mammals, crocs and anacondas are up there too, except they're at a disadvantage because of the dirt arena.

 

[HardTimesFamilyPride]

How does something like a Komodo dragon or poison dart frog fit in here, do you think?

 

[RedBlue]

I think i'd take a bear over the large cats, but I don't think anything is beating the elephant.

 

[Raccoon]

me

 

[The Silver]

Only way the elephant loses is if it gets bitten by a king cobra.

 

[Eoin]

What counts as a land animal?

The number of species involved changes significantly based on the answer, which means that the number of battles each kind of animal needs to win also changes. There are millions of species of insects, arachnids, molluscs, worms, etc. A lot of them would get excluded for not being land animals (like crabs and such) but with most definitions of "land animal", most of them would be included, which would mean that each kind of animal would have to win over 20 battles, giving plenty of chances for some really weird statistical flukes to happen.

So although I think the single most likely answer would be an elephant (specifically, an African bush elephant), I think there'd be a lot of scope for surprise.