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Swinging with Friends
- Thread starter Dahellisdat
- Start date
If you're fairly sure you're in the 5 percent of people for who doing it with friends wouldn't be a disaster, then that's awesome and I wish you all the best!
The key to this is going where the open and playful people hang out (once the vaccine is out ofc)
OP
OP
No, I don't think so. I don't really know yet what this will turn into. I'm guessing probably initially it would be boning in the same room with our own partners and then see what everyone is into.
Only the ladies are sharing photos though? You guys don't share sexy pics?
as a very active swinger for many years now, this all sounds like the absolute best way this could be playing out. Initially at the start of this thread i was thinking that this is a disaster in the making (not sure if i could swing with close friends), but the way it sounds to be playing out sounds very natural and being so open talkative about it is a big plus as all the swining i have done, openness and communication is paramount. The biggest worry is always if someone stops feeling it, noone else can get offfended. It sounds like you are all open and honest with eachother that this doesnt sound like it will be a issue.
I knew I'd find an appropriate use for this gif sooner or later
I don't even remember... What was the answer to this clue?
OP
OP
We're all sharing pics but so far the subjects of the pics have only been the ladies.
You should facetime each other but focus on the ladies giving head.
Also Is this update my birthday present?
Another big update
OP
OP
Its been about a month and a half I think since I last posted in this thread and a lot has happened since then.
We've gone from sharing underwear/lingerie pics to sending each other some all out hardcore pics and videos of ourselves. Everyone seems to be pretty excited about all of it. I can tell they're both getting pretty into this whole thing and I love watching the little smiles on my wife's face after we send them some of our pics and they comment on them.
I've had some side conversations with my friend periodically throughout all of this just to check in and make sure everyone's still comfortable and they've definitely been into it. We've still been going pretty slow making sure not to overstep any bounds, but I think that also part of what's causing it to continually be so intriguing.
So last night we were continuing the upping the ante thing with the photo sharing and my friend brings up in our group chat taking a next step and banging together in the same room (not swapping at this point). We're doing another one of our airbnb trips in the latter half of next week so i think we're planning on doing it then on whatever night all 4 of us are feeling into it. I'm pretty excited about it. In my swinging experience, surprisingly, we've never actually done same-room sex without swapping. The being in the same room and watching aspect of it should be pretty interesting/hot.
I'll report back after the trip next week.
We've gone from sharing underwear/lingerie pics to sending each other some all out hardcore pics and videos of ourselves. Everyone seems to be pretty excited about all of it. I can tell they're both getting pretty into this whole thing and I love watching the little smiles on my wife's face after we send them some of our pics and they comment on them.
I've had some side conversations with my friend periodically throughout all of this just to check in and make sure everyone's still comfortable and they've definitely been into it. We've still been going pretty slow making sure not to overstep any bounds, but I think that also part of what's causing it to continually be so intriguing.
So last night we were continuing the upping the ante thing with the photo sharing and my friend brings up in our group chat taking a next step and banging together in the same room (not swapping at this point). We're doing another one of our airbnb trips in the latter half of next week so i think we're planning on doing it then on whatever night all 4 of us are feeling into it. I'm pretty excited about it. In my swinging experience, surprisingly, we've never actually done same-room sex without swapping. The being in the same room and watching aspect of it should be pretty interesting/hot.
I'll report back after the trip next week.
and yes the guys are part of the sexy pic sharing now too.
When you four are going to bang, will it be you having sex with your friends wife, or it will it be you with yours, and him with his?
I'm just here to say this thread was right below one about Spider-Man MCU movies and my brain went with a completely different interpretation of this thread's title.
OP
OP
We'll be banging our respective partners, just in the same room/bed or wherever we end up
What's the craziest thing that ever happenned to you guys when you were out swingin.
OP
OP
I mean, just swinging in general for the first time is pretty wild. Nothing really stands out to me as being all that crazy while swapping with people. I think one of the weirder encounters was with a couple where we met them for dinner at a mexican restaurant and the girl from the other couple lead off the conversation by talking about how much she loved fisting. My wife and I looked at eachother and were like "....yeahhh. Haven't had much experience with that before...." . Such a weird thing to start with. They were a cool couple but we didn't end up playing with them.
If I can ask, how do you go about finding other couples to mess around with?
We've talked about making a Tinder account before, and I don't think this is something I'd bring up in the lunch room at work.
OP
OP
We have accounts on a few different sites specific to swinging dating (Kasidie, Swinglifestyle, etc.) just cause theres less risk of someone single we know finding us on something like Tinder. At least if someone we know finds us on the swinging sites, we know they're there for the same thing that we are. We're on the Feeld app too, but its a pretty clunky app.
When we find a couple we're into theres usually a few messages back and forth and if we want to continue talking, we move it over to Kik and start a group chat with all 4 of us. That also helps weed out any weirdo dudes pretending to be a couple or that are on there without their partner's knowledge.
OP
OP
We've definitely considered this and we've all talked about it together a lot too. This past year we've all grown really close to each other being in our little covid bubble. Like even more so than we were pre-pandemic by a pretty big degree. That said, I don't feel like anything up to this point has done any damage to the foundation of our friendship. We've been going really slow with this whole thing to make sure of that and haven't encountered any issues yet. We're still all able to talk to each other the same way we always have, just now we're much more open discussing things and there's sex sprinkled into our conversations. It actually all feels really healthy to me in a way, being able to be open with them about things.
Just found this thread and am fascinated that me and my wife have a similar slow-burn thing with a close friend over several years. My wife is bi, and two of our closest friends were a girl-girl couple that we've occasionally had some flirty close-calls with over the 8 years that we've known them. There's been many jokes about the 4 of us doing something together many times, with the closest call being this Halloween party a few years ago where (for whatever reason) we all kept putting gummy worms halfway in our mouths and holding them there, and then one of the others would grab the other side with their mouth, ending in a kiss. But it didn't go further than that...
...Until a few months ago, when our friend couple broke up. It was a situation where we had to choose a side, and our closer friend of the two hadn't been single for nearly a decade.A bit after the breakup she told us that she and her former partner had previously discussed a foursome (she didn't specify with us, but it felt implied given past events), but her former partner is 100% only into girls, and so I would've been the problem, and also was afraid of getting too jealous. Our closer friend also identifies as a lesbian, and has never been with a man, but has expressed interest in testing the waters.
My wife and I have no experience in threesomes other than this one time in college where my wife (at the time girlfriend) and one of her friends made out in front of me spontaneously, which hardly counts.
Back in September our close friend started visiting us more often, she had just moved about an hour from us, after previously living about 3 hours away for the past couple years with her partner. On September 26th, she came down to spend the day with us, nothing out of the ordinary, but as soon as she got here, she asked if she could take a shower. Didn't think much of it, and while she was in the shower I finished getting our guest bedroom situated for her. While I was finishing up, she came into the room wearing nothing but a towel, and it wasn't covering her super well, so I got all shy and she thought it was hilarious and pretended like she was going to drop the towel but I left the room because I felt embarrassed, but also turned on.
Fast-forward to later in the evening, we had a movie marathon in our living room. Me on our couch. Her and my wife on our loveseat. I'm spacing on the first movie we watched, but it would've been Halloween themed. (It's actually really bugging me that I can't remember what it was...) After it was over she asked if we wanted to smoke weed with her. Me and my wife almost never smoke, the only times we do is when she's offered it to us in the past.
The second movie was Hocus Pocus. But pretty quick into the movie, she started bringing up this time before we knew her, when she was like 19, where she and 2 friends, a M and F couple, had messed around, and that she was thinking about it a lot lately. She regretted that she didn't interact with the guy at all, and as we kept watching the movie, she explained what all they did do in increasingly graphic detail. There was this incredible vibe at the time, the room was completely dark, except for a warm light in our living room, and the TV itself.
She then asked my wife is she ever reminisced about kissing girls or regretting not going further with it, and if she still identified as being bi. My wife confirmed she overall finds women more attractive than men, like I'm more the exception than the rule. And then our friend started asking me questions about what kind of porn I liked, and the atmosphere just got heavier and heavier with implication as the conversation went on. It seriously felt like I was in a late-night Cinemax movie. I'm normally a very shy, anxious person, but I think the weed helped me keep my cool, and my poker face.
Finally, she just cut the tension and asked if we've ever wanted to have a threesome with her. My wife and I looked at each other, as though we wanted to hear the other's response so we wouldn't be the odd man out. But we both agreed that we did, but that we always ruled it out because we were such close friends, and we are both so neurotic that we'd never be able to plan such a thing, and the odds of it happening spontaneously was so unlikely. We ended up messing around a bit right there in the living room, but we agreed it would just be brief touching with the three of us, and our friend just watching me and my wife for more than that. It was very brief, our friend decided we should stop after just a few minutes. But it was still super, super hot. We finished Hocus Pocus, went to sleep (separately), debriefed a bit the next morning, all feeling pretty good about it, and that was that.
We kept in close contact after that, mostly in our Snapchat group appropriately called Thrupple, thrupple, toil, and trouble. But we didn't discuss the encounter again for about a month, and we didn't hang out due to Covid.
In November, our friend explained to us that she had a lot of fun with us, but isn't sure if she wants to do anything physical with us again, as she's still struggling with her identity, and also dealing with her ex-partner who she was still stuck living with. But she still thinks of us a lot, sexually, and asked if we could sext regularly. We agreed that would be fine, and that the only rules are anything sexual must always be in the group chat, where it is always visible to all parties. Ever since then the three of us have had extremely hot conversations, and it's gotten to where we send very graphic photos and even video clips to each other.
Overall, I'm pleased where things are with the three of us. Although I realize it's a precarious position. I'm leaning toward discussing if we could make this a more "official" polyamorous relationship, as there's a lot of trust here, and we all go back so many years, but I don't think my wife is quite at that level. So I may just keep quiet.
I hopefully didn't hijack this thread, but at the same time it's so similar to the OP I felt weird about making my own. I don't know if I'd call us Swingers, since there's no partner swapping necessarily, and I could never imagine doing this with someone who wasn't a close friend, but that's my experience.
...Until a few months ago, when our friend couple broke up. It was a situation where we had to choose a side, and our closer friend of the two hadn't been single for nearly a decade.A bit after the breakup she told us that she and her former partner had previously discussed a foursome (she didn't specify with us, but it felt implied given past events), but her former partner is 100% only into girls, and so I would've been the problem, and also was afraid of getting too jealous. Our closer friend also identifies as a lesbian, and has never been with a man, but has expressed interest in testing the waters.
My wife and I have no experience in threesomes other than this one time in college where my wife (at the time girlfriend) and one of her friends made out in front of me spontaneously, which hardly counts.
Back in September our close friend started visiting us more often, she had just moved about an hour from us, after previously living about 3 hours away for the past couple years with her partner. On September 26th, she came down to spend the day with us, nothing out of the ordinary, but as soon as she got here, she asked if she could take a shower. Didn't think much of it, and while she was in the shower I finished getting our guest bedroom situated for her. While I was finishing up, she came into the room wearing nothing but a towel, and it wasn't covering her super well, so I got all shy and she thought it was hilarious and pretended like she was going to drop the towel but I left the room because I felt embarrassed, but also turned on.
Fast-forward to later in the evening, we had a movie marathon in our living room. Me on our couch. Her and my wife on our loveseat. I'm spacing on the first movie we watched, but it would've been Halloween themed. (It's actually really bugging me that I can't remember what it was...) After it was over she asked if we wanted to smoke weed with her. Me and my wife almost never smoke, the only times we do is when she's offered it to us in the past.
The second movie was Hocus Pocus. But pretty quick into the movie, she started bringing up this time before we knew her, when she was like 19, where she and 2 friends, a M and F couple, had messed around, and that she was thinking about it a lot lately. She regretted that she didn't interact with the guy at all, and as we kept watching the movie, she explained what all they did do in increasingly graphic detail. There was this incredible vibe at the time, the room was completely dark, except for a warm light in our living room, and the TV itself.
She then asked my wife is she ever reminisced about kissing girls or regretting not going further with it, and if she still identified as being bi. My wife confirmed she overall finds women more attractive than men, like I'm more the exception than the rule. And then our friend started asking me questions about what kind of porn I liked, and the atmosphere just got heavier and heavier with implication as the conversation went on. It seriously felt like I was in a late-night Cinemax movie. I'm normally a very shy, anxious person, but I think the weed helped me keep my cool, and my poker face.
Finally, she just cut the tension and asked if we've ever wanted to have a threesome with her. My wife and I looked at each other, as though we wanted to hear the other's response so we wouldn't be the odd man out. But we both agreed that we did, but that we always ruled it out because we were such close friends, and we are both so neurotic that we'd never be able to plan such a thing, and the odds of it happening spontaneously was so unlikely. We ended up messing around a bit right there in the living room, but we agreed it would just be brief touching with the three of us, and our friend just watching me and my wife for more than that. It was very brief, our friend decided we should stop after just a few minutes. But it was still super, super hot. We finished Hocus Pocus, went to sleep (separately), debriefed a bit the next morning, all feeling pretty good about it, and that was that.
We kept in close contact after that, mostly in our Snapchat group appropriately called Thrupple, thrupple, toil, and trouble. But we didn't discuss the encounter again for about a month, and we didn't hang out due to Covid.
In November, our friend explained to us that she had a lot of fun with us, but isn't sure if she wants to do anything physical with us again, as she's still struggling with her identity, and also dealing with her ex-partner who she was still stuck living with. But she still thinks of us a lot, sexually, and asked if we could sext regularly. We agreed that would be fine, and that the only rules are anything sexual must always be in the group chat, where it is always visible to all parties. Ever since then the three of us have had extremely hot conversations, and it's gotten to where we send very graphic photos and even video clips to each other.
Overall, I'm pleased where things are with the three of us. Although I realize it's a precarious position. I'm leaning toward discussing if we could make this a more "official" polyamorous relationship, as there's a lot of trust here, and we all go back so many years, but I don't think my wife is quite at that level. So I may just keep quiet.
I hopefully didn't hijack this thread, but at the same time it's so similar to the OP I felt weird about making my own. I don't know if I'd call us Swingers, since there's no partner swapping necessarily, and I could never imagine doing this with someone who wasn't a close friend, but that's my experience.
OP
OP
wow, yeah the latter part of that all does sound really similar to what's going on with us. I also feel a little weird about categorizing what's going on with us as swinging since we're such close friends, but its really not all that different from what we do with swinger friends. I think there's a lot of different flavors of swinging....even the website we're on you can pic if you're interested in full swapping, soft swapping, just being in the same room/watching.
I guess my advice, considering how things have played out with us so far, is to continue to take it slow and make sure all 3 of you are communicating feelings and expectations openly so there's no confusion or stepping over boundaries.
Thanks for sharing this...I love hearing about other people's experiences
What an update, thanks for sharing!
You know this made me think since you're all sharing pictures maybe this is all inspiring you to look the best you can be, so maybe it's making you better, fitness wise.
I'd say the slow burn leading up to it is better than actual act. The trying to pick up on their cues and then the dirty talk and exchanging of photos eventually you get to the threshold where "ok then, it is definitely happening" or at the very least the sexting is as strong of an indicator than anything that there are sparks between the group.
It's hard to put into words, but I'm also typing this on a treadmill so that doesn't help lol.
OP
OP
Actually yeah, we've both been working out much more regularly.
I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head. This has been much more satisfying than jumping immediately to the end and skipping everything in between.
We did it
OP
OP
Well...we've finally done it. We went on our trip last weekend and had talked about the potential for same room sex on a night where we had planned to get high and expected it would happen that night. Before taking anything though, I brought up that we should have a group discussion to make sure everyone was still cool with everything because a majority of the discussion about actually doing it was via prior group chats on our phones and we hadn't had a whole lot of actual in person discussion about it. Everyone seemed good but the discussion then wasn't really all that deep. So we ended up getting high and that was when we ended up having our real discussion.
We talked all about what we were into, my wife and my experiences with swinging so far, recapped the whole progression we'd had with the 4 of us up to that point. We talked about how wonderful it was to be experiencing some of these things with them and how different it was from any of the swinging we've ever done. This is so much more fleshed out as a group relationship, not just because of our background as friends, but just being able to build this new part of the friendship from the ground up, slowly but also more carefully and with consideration/respect. With all of the other swinging we've done, the communication has been limited in the sense that my wife and I simply don't have the time to commit to building anything up to that scale. We just end up picking a night that we can get a babysitter, have a swinging night and then often that's the extent of it. We told them all of this and they feel the same way. Everyone has been totally comfortable with the way things have gone so far and they're into progressing to the next phase. The conversations went pretty late, there were a few moments that we almost took some steps to get sex going but it was getting to be pretty late and we were all exhausted. We didn't end up playing with them that night but in hindsight, I think it worked out perfectly. We had the conversation that needed to happen and it was good.
By the next night we were ready. My friend and I cooked some steaks for dinner, we had some wine and the girls dressed up in some really hot see-through tops. Apparently they had also privately discussed going out to the hot tub topless, so that's what we did. That was the first time any of us had really been exposed to each other in person outside of just sharing photos. It wasn't really awkward at all. Just super relaxing.
We got out and went back inside by the fire, and everyone dressed again. We were on a sectional couch with my wife laying in my lap on one side and my friend and his on the other. We talked for a little bit while caressing our partners and eventually we both ended up pulling their tops down. I don't know how much more of everything is appropriate to be posting on here but in short, the whole thing progressed to us all having sex in the same room. Eventually, a pile of pillows collapsed off the top of couch onto my wife's face and my leg got stuck in between the couch sections so we all laughed and took a break and it pretty much ended there.
The last night of the trip, we were pretty much spent. We ended up having a sort of debriefing night. It was another really good discussion and everyone is still in a great mindset and happy with the things worked out. I think everyone is looking forward to doing it again at some point and exploring things further.
I can't really imagine it going any better than it did. It's definitely opened a lot of new doors for us that we're all excited to see where it goes and seem to so far manage to do it without making anything weird.
We talked all about what we were into, my wife and my experiences with swinging so far, recapped the whole progression we'd had with the 4 of us up to that point. We talked about how wonderful it was to be experiencing some of these things with them and how different it was from any of the swinging we've ever done. This is so much more fleshed out as a group relationship, not just because of our background as friends, but just being able to build this new part of the friendship from the ground up, slowly but also more carefully and with consideration/respect. With all of the other swinging we've done, the communication has been limited in the sense that my wife and I simply don't have the time to commit to building anything up to that scale. We just end up picking a night that we can get a babysitter, have a swinging night and then often that's the extent of it. We told them all of this and they feel the same way. Everyone has been totally comfortable with the way things have gone so far and they're into progressing to the next phase. The conversations went pretty late, there were a few moments that we almost took some steps to get sex going but it was getting to be pretty late and we were all exhausted. We didn't end up playing with them that night but in hindsight, I think it worked out perfectly. We had the conversation that needed to happen and it was good.
By the next night we were ready. My friend and I cooked some steaks for dinner, we had some wine and the girls dressed up in some really hot see-through tops. Apparently they had also privately discussed going out to the hot tub topless, so that's what we did. That was the first time any of us had really been exposed to each other in person outside of just sharing photos. It wasn't really awkward at all. Just super relaxing.
We got out and went back inside by the fire, and everyone dressed again. We were on a sectional couch with my wife laying in my lap on one side and my friend and his on the other. We talked for a little bit while caressing our partners and eventually we both ended up pulling their tops down. I don't know how much more of everything is appropriate to be posting on here but in short, the whole thing progressed to us all having sex in the same room. Eventually, a pile of pillows collapsed off the top of couch onto my wife's face and my leg got stuck in between the couch sections so we all laughed and took a break and it pretty much ended there.
The last night of the trip, we were pretty much spent. We ended up having a sort of debriefing night. It was another really good discussion and everyone is still in a great mindset and happy with the things worked out. I think everyone is looking forward to doing it again at some point and exploring things further.
I can't really imagine it going any better than it did. It's definitely opened a lot of new doors for us that we're all excited to see where it goes and seem to so far manage to do it without making anything weird.