Look, sometimes there's a dynamic between people that just isn't healthy. I don't know this person but it's not in your best interest to consider the worst of outcomes, and it certainly isn't a good idea to start psycho-analyzing on your own here: narcissists are far and few between (I'm saying that because some comments here are pretty wild...), and most of the time we're simply dealing with a situation where the dynamic has been established and communication is bad. This is fairly common if you're the type of person that avoids conflict (I'm seeing you "brushed it off" whenever you were made aware of something not right); we tend to compromise with ourselves in order to keep our relationships good and stabile.
My rule of thumb is to never to compromise on my own happiness in other to make someone else feel good about themselves. Likewise, I stay away from people who makes me feel insecure about myself. That is fortunately a rare thing, but we have all been in love with someone who couldn't return that affection.
Unless this reaction you fear is due to a knowledge of violent tendencies or otherwise, I think you should simply confront this person. Refrain from being judgemental and explain your side of this ordeal. It is good to write down what you need to say and how. You may experience a willingness to change, or you may not, but at least you made the attempt to better the situation and you also get to become more relaxed about confrontations, which will inevitably occur in life. Yes, you're likely to be met with a verbal reaction if this person isn't the wiser about their behaviour; I have rarely met a person who admits to bad behaviour if that hasn't been the intend; in my experience that reaction is natural and it mostly comes down to confusion or the person wanting to avoid the feeling of shame (that is, that suckerpunch-feeling that strikes them when they suddenly realize they have hurt someone). Some feel outright betrayed by such accusations. Sit through the reaction. I have had confrontations where people wanted to throw me out the door and 10 minutes afterwards we laugh. When our emotions run wild we tend to behave irrational, but as long as it isn't violent it's just words, and I don't think words have much weight if they're based in impulsive reactions.
It isn't your responsibility to teach them anything. What is your responsibility is your well being. If you want to continue to have this person in your life then change is needed. You have to ask yourself if that's in your interest. Secondly, that can only happen through communication. We do not know what the other person is thinking, and we will never learn if we don't talk.
Should you choose to confront the person, I would advice you to have one sentence in mind in case the situation turns into a debate about who did what and why. You can even use it if you're experiencing them drifting off subject. It's simple, and it goes like this: "This is about my feelings. I'm not scared to lose a bad friend; I'm scared to be in a bad relationship".
It's important to make them aware of the fact that you're not judging them but rather explaining yourself. Again, many people don't like to be considered bad or mean, and if this person indeed has many good qualities then it may be harder for that person to understand how this has come to be. Therefore you need to keep making it about you because that's exactly what it is: it's about you and this person can't be allowed to make it about them before they understand what you feel.
Just keep in mind that it isn't about winning. I'm not directing that at you; you have nothing to lose, seeing as you don't mind distancing yourself, as you write. I'm saying it because this person may feel like they have to win in the moment. For pride or otherwise. People with a competetive mindset don't like to feel like they're losing the situation. But you have to control the situation. Honestly, think of it as a balancing act and just listen and note whenever things steer away from feelings and becomes about judging and such. If you hear something like "what about you when you..." - don't answer accusations. If you want to accuse each other you may well do it over text.
However, you don't own them anything. If you're uncomfortable with the thought, you're in your right to avoid the confrontation. In time, maybe they will reach out.
