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I've been sober since September (from marijuana). Sobriety is kinda boring but I just take pride in knowing I have a clean system. Just the only advantage.
The app I'm using to track my days also tells me how much I'm saving and... wow. After one week it's startling.
OP
OP
Wow, awesome stuff -- keep it up! Been soooo long since I last checked in.
I am coming up on 4 years myself... just a little over a month from now.
You have so much to look forward to.
working on a cessation plan now.
I'm already on the Saturday mark and don't want to re-up tomorrow.
Tired of being dependent on this garbage.
It's not my 1st rodeo. Used to have a rule about no liquor in the house.
Typing this now to hopefully keep myself accountable with something, someone.
Wish me luck.
I'm already on the Saturday mark and don't want to re-up tomorrow.
Tired of being dependent on this garbage.
It's not my 1st rodeo. Used to have a rule about no liquor in the house.
Typing this now to hopefully keep myself accountable with something, someone.
Wish me luck.
OP
OP
working on a cessation plan now.
I'm already on the Saturday mark and don't want to re-up tomorrow.
Tired of being dependent on this garbage.
It's not my 1st rodeo. Used to have a rule about no liquor in the house.
Typing this now to hopefully keep myself accountable with something, someone.
Wish me luck.
Seriously awesome stuff naib -- love what you used to keep track of the days.
Please do check in here, and it doesn't only have to be when it gets rough.
You got this though -- and, best of luck =)
That's amazing. I can only imagine the amount of clarity my head will have and how good I will feel physically and mentally in the 4 year mark. I'll be a whole new person!
This is honestly my biggest regret. If I could go back and change one thing in my life, it would be never having that first beer.
I got arrested in February for first-time marijuana possession (14g) but was offered non-adjudication in lieu of 30 days jail time and a $1000 fine. I'm currently on probation for six months and being drug/alcohol tested both monthly and randomly.
Even though I think it's complete bullshit this can still happen in the US, it kind of made me realize how reliant I was on alcohol to overcome social anxiety and weed to escape from the mundaneness of every day life. I was able to drop marijuana no problem but not so much with drinking. I've drank since I was 18; I'm 29 now. During college, I drank so frequently I ended up dropping out because I couldn't keep up with school. Once I got out of school and moved back in with my parents I did go through a phase for about a year during 2016-2017 where I would drink almost every night with friends because none of us had any real responsibilities or concerns. Those days ended.
Since I've gotten older, I only drink on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays and never when alone. But when I do drink, I ~DRINK~. It has been my primary social crutch, which is the reason I started drinking in the first place. I feel like I'm able to be my real self when I drink. I've always had severe issues being able to let my walls down and socialize with other people and alcohol allowed me to do that. I really don't believe I would have come out of my shell without alcohol. Now, it scares me realizing I can't rely on it anymore. I still have fears I won't be able to overcome the anxiety of opening up and being myself around people in social situations. I always feel flawed, inadequate, boring, lame, unfunny... pretty much any derogatory term there is, I feel that about myself when I'm sober around people. People have always told me they don't see me as that but I do. There's definitely an issue there and while it's not complete alcohol dependency, it starts to ride the line.
My first drug/alcohol test was yesterday and the last day I drank was this past Saturday. Not very long at all and I'm already considering drinking again this weekend because I know I'll be with friends but I'm hoping I won't.
All in all, I'm pretty damn curious about finding out who I am and what I can be without alcohol at this point in my life. I've been talking to this girl for about two months now and I really really like her but most of our interactions have involved drinking, which is what allowed us to both open up and get to know each other. I really do want to get to a point where I can drink but not because I feel like I need it to survive socially.
I hope this is the proper place for this. I really want to be able to discuss my 'journey' with people because it's not something my friend group understands. Thanks in advance if you read all of this. ♥️
Even though I think it's complete bullshit this can still happen in the US, it kind of made me realize how reliant I was on alcohol to overcome social anxiety and weed to escape from the mundaneness of every day life. I was able to drop marijuana no problem but not so much with drinking. I've drank since I was 18; I'm 29 now. During college, I drank so frequently I ended up dropping out because I couldn't keep up with school. Once I got out of school and moved back in with my parents I did go through a phase for about a year during 2016-2017 where I would drink almost every night with friends because none of us had any real responsibilities or concerns. Those days ended.
Since I've gotten older, I only drink on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays and never when alone. But when I do drink, I ~DRINK~. It has been my primary social crutch, which is the reason I started drinking in the first place. I feel like I'm able to be my real self when I drink. I've always had severe issues being able to let my walls down and socialize with other people and alcohol allowed me to do that. I really don't believe I would have come out of my shell without alcohol. Now, it scares me realizing I can't rely on it anymore. I still have fears I won't be able to overcome the anxiety of opening up and being myself around people in social situations. I always feel flawed, inadequate, boring, lame, unfunny... pretty much any derogatory term there is, I feel that about myself when I'm sober around people. People have always told me they don't see me as that but I do. There's definitely an issue there and while it's not complete alcohol dependency, it starts to ride the line.
My first drug/alcohol test was yesterday and the last day I drank was this past Saturday. Not very long at all and I'm already considering drinking again this weekend because I know I'll be with friends but I'm hoping I won't.
All in all, I'm pretty damn curious about finding out who I am and what I can be without alcohol at this point in my life. I've been talking to this girl for about two months now and I really really like her but most of our interactions have involved drinking, which is what allowed us to both open up and get to know each other. I really do want to get to a point where I can drink but not because I feel like I need it to survive socially.
I hope this is the proper place for this. I really want to be able to discuss my 'journey' with people because it's not something my friend group understands. Thanks in advance if you read all of this. ♥️
Day 138 - Continuing to get the thoughts of "the liquor store is right there!", but they're becoming more fleeting by the day. So much coffee, soda, and tea. I make sure I drink a lot of water still, but the ritual of drinking stuff is really engrained.
These are some of the biggest social factors for myself. I've been throwing myself at new hobbies, because you'll find you spent a lot of time intoxicated that you need to fill with new stuff. Tthe social interactions/hanging out has gotten better the more I do it.
Thank you for the insight, I appreciate it. I think I've realized in the last few years that the purposes I drink for are ultimately unsustainable and had no other direction to build other than into dependency. At one point I was drinking two beers before I went out ~to drink~ so there would be no "downtime" where I wasn't already "in character". I think my relationship with this girl has helped me see myself a lot better and since I'm interested in dating her, I've had to put myself out there to meet her parents and friends/family without being able to drink my fear away and so far I've done really well. I think the anxiety of the build-up has always been worse than how the situation plays out.
Also I'm with you on the coffee/soda/tea thing but add energy drinks and nicotine. and congrats for making it so far!
Day 40 for me 🙌🙌🙌. Honestly all, congrats on whatever day you are! Day 1, Day 1000, whatever you are on, keep striving, keep pushing, keep stacking days. This thread was a great idea. Make it a great day all!
Is it wrong of me to block all contact with my friends that always cause me to slip up on sobriety? I feel awful because I've known these people for over a decade but my friendships with these people consists entirely of alcohol/drugs and drama. If I ever try and spend time with these people without drinking they always try and peer pressure me into drinking like they couldn't comprehend that it would be possible to socially interact with each other without alcohol. I wouldn't say these were bad people but they're bringing me down. I want friends I can play videogames with and go out and do normal fucking things. I'm responsible for my own actions and I don't blame anybody else for me drinking but I feel like I need to distance myself for certain friendship circles.
Sunday was my 100 days. Ate a lot of ice cream. It was awesome.
It's funny, my memory of how shitty it was to be drunk every day doesn't fade much. Every last failed attempt at sobriety, I felt like I was denying myself, missing out on something. But to be honest, this has been the best I've felt in my life. My girlfriend is super supportive, I've been getting fitter and losing weight, and my focus is returning. What anxiety I have I have some control over. I don't ever want to forget how much alcohol fucked with my life and my control. It's poison, and it should be treated as such.
All you out there afraid your relationships will suffer without booze - if that's all that's holding those relationships together, they're as toxic as the chemical you're ingesting. Get out of that shit. Find out who you really are behind the drink. Maybe you'll like it... maybe you won't. But if you don't, you'll at least have the will and strength to change.
It's funny, my memory of how shitty it was to be drunk every day doesn't fade much. Every last failed attempt at sobriety, I felt like I was denying myself, missing out on something. But to be honest, this has been the best I've felt in my life. My girlfriend is super supportive, I've been getting fitter and losing weight, and my focus is returning. What anxiety I have I have some control over. I don't ever want to forget how much alcohol fucked with my life and my control. It's poison, and it should be treated as such.
All you out there afraid your relationships will suffer without booze - if that's all that's holding those relationships together, they're as toxic as the chemical you're ingesting. Get out of that shit. Find out who you really are behind the drink. Maybe you'll like it... maybe you won't. But if you don't, you'll at least have the will and strength to change.
Peer pressuring is an instant red flag in of itself. I'm an advocate of you have to treat your sobriety as if it comes before... well almost everything. At least that's how I've been able to stay in the game so far.
Day 143 here. Can't express how much my relationships, job, and physical/mental well being has been better across the board. I agree with most of your sentiment is the gist of what I'm getting at.
That's all you need to know about these friends. You don't need 'em. If booze was the glue holding you together, that's a really shitty adhesive.
I think I've just landed myself into a bad crowd and let it go on way, way too long. I know I can be the life of the party when I'm drunk and that only ends up fuelling my problems with alcohol even more. What you said really hit home though. Thank you ❤
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30 days no alcohol.
I've wanted to post in here before but I kept buying more alcohol when I wanted to stop. I slowly ramped up over two years and reached a point where I was drinking a fifth a night. That was quite some time ago and I cut that back and said hey, you're doing good look you don't drink as much! No need to stop.
Then I started creeping back up and said no a month ago. Feeling great and don't even think about buying any anymore.
I've wanted to post in here before but I kept buying more alcohol when I wanted to stop. I slowly ramped up over two years and reached a point where I was drinking a fifth a night. That was quite some time ago and I cut that back and said hey, you're doing good look you don't drink as much! No need to stop.
Then I started creeping back up and said no a month ago. Feeling great and don't even think about buying any anymore.
Congrats on making it this far! One step at a time.
18 days here and I'm actually falling asleep. Like FALLING ASLEEP. Not tossing and turning to sleep. Feels awesome.
For me I'd just pass out and probably wasn't getting actual rest. But getting good sleep is amazing lol
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Alcoholism is a progressive problem and sneaks up on you like that. Good on ya for realizing it but it proceeded further!
First of all, congrats to everyone who has been able to make any kind of progress and to those who continue to struggle just remember every single day or even hour you can abstain is an accomplishment. I have been an active alcoholic for about 10 years with small bouts of sobriety sprinkled in, my longest was 74 days. When I say alcoholic I mean a really bad alcoholic who just happens to be high functioning if you can call it that. To give some perspective it's normal for me to drink 10-15 beers a day and add a few shots here and there. That is just a normal day not even one of my party days or binges, on those days I can put down a case of beer (24 pack) and mix in some hard liquor although I have been trying hard as hell to stay away from the hard stuff. I realized early on I had a problem and actively tried to better myself even in undergraduate without much luck. The main issue with my alcoholism which sets me apart from others is I actually prefer to drink alone at home which makes it way too easy. When I am on a sober streak I feel better than ever but it takes days of tapering and pain to even get to the point of starting that streak so that's always part of the battle as well. I have had more success the last couple of years and had a few 20+ day sober streaks but they tend to end when I get bored or my liver pain starts to go away. The interesting thing about my drinking that I think even confuses the addiction specialist I have worked with is there seems to be no real driving force behind why I do it. I have no emotional trauma, no money issues, wonderful family and extended family and a great wife. The best I can explain it to someone who isn't me is a need to be super excited about something and have something to look forward to. I have lots of hobbies and look forward to big game releases or going mountain biking on a new trail or buying a new car but none of these things compare to the excitement and anticipation of my next drink. This is an example I use when trying to help people understand. If you gave me the option of an all expense paid vacation to anywhere in the world BUT I COULDNT DRINK on the vacation or I could stay home and hang out on my computer and play videogames and drink that is a no brainer for me. I Wouldmuch rather be home drinking. I personally journal everyday to help me along my struggle and I am always striving to be better but I have come to terms that this is something I will most likely struggle with until in the end it gets the best of me. For anyone else struggling please remember you are not alone. Please feel free to reach out to me if you need to as someone who has pretty much been thru all the ups and downs that come along with alcoholism.
what eventually worked for me is realizing how much drinking was holding me back in pursuing all my other interests. Was I going to play a new game tonight, or was I going to get so drunk I couldn't concentrate on the game? Was I going to go for that bike ride, or was I going to get so drunk I couldn't go without seriously risking my safety? I can't tell you the number of times I ended up biking drunk because I wanted to have it both ways. I have scars on both elbows and knees from a particularly bad spill I took off my bike because I drank a quarter of a bottle of scotch beforehand and couldn't recover from a bad skid. If every first drink you have turns into 11 more, you are not only ruining the chances you have to pursue your other, real interests, but also risking your life. You don't need some psychological damage to be susceptible to alcohol - it's an addictive drug. For me, too, it was something I did alone because I was bored, no profound trauma necessary.
Just think about how much fun you could be having, if you were physically and mentally able. How much better those things are without a haze of alcohol between you and them. It doesn't only dull negative feelings, it dulls pleasure too.
Well said and very true. Interesting time to bring it up since I was just in the ER 12 days ago from a bike wreck resulting from drinking before riding. I ride a dirt jumper and of course I get more brave with every drink. I can't argue with you that I do find much more enjoyment in my hobbies and I workout more consistently but whenever I'm brutally honest with myself about it I know I would be having more fun with a drink in my hand. I also love to play golf and I no doubt take it way more serious and play much better without a drink. Even after having a great sober round I still would have preferred to be playing with a drink in my hand. I think I just have to come to terms with the fact that even if it's more fun for me to be drinking am I willing to sacrifice my life for it. Thanks for the response it really means a lot to me that someone listened.
Not sure how much of that feeling like everything is more fun is actually you, or your addiction, talking. I can understand when you're in the thick of it you can't help feeling like drinking is a part of you; hell, I did too. I relished trying every new microbrew and IPA and rounding out my experience trying every whisky and rum I could. But if your drinking is killing you and it makes you feel like you can't enjoy anything without it, it might really be the problem instead of an actual complementary activity. It's certainly not a part of who you are as a person. Honestly you sound like a super interesting, active person who happens to have a bad habit that keeps him from doing as much as he wants. For some of us, we just can't have it both ways. Like keeping a pet mosquito, you're just gonna get bitten. For me I had to choose: either I enjoy living, or I enjoy drinking. I'm not ready or interested in testing if I can do both, because every drink leads to another eventually, and I've lived that way plenty already.
This is the same boat I find myself in also. I do choose to want to live a healthy life over drinking it's just not super easy for me. Believe it or not these past couple years are the best and longest bouts of sobreity I have been able to have for over a decade. I think a lot of that comes with age too. My dad was a heavy beer drinker and started to just naturally slow around the same age (35).
Thanks for the support, if you don't mind how long did you struggle with it before you figured it out.
I'd say my heavy drinking started about 5 years ago. I didn't drink until I was 21. There was a turning point in my life that led me to drinking heavily and it just never stopped from there. I've tried to quit more times than I can count, too. But I can only change today. And today I'm 19 days strong.
19 days is incredible! I have quit so many times I know exactly how right around the 20 day mark feels. For me that is when the brain fog is completely lifted and also the physical pains and anxiety that comes along with the withdrawal have completely gone away. I always have to taper the first 2-3 days when I quit and those days are always a special kind of suffering I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Thank you, I'm pretty proud of it. I can definitely attest that mentally I'm in a completely different headspace and it's great. Sleeping much better, too. The first few days to a week are just painful. I still have days where I'm like god I need a fucking drink, but I don't. I really don't. And I won't be better for it. It won't change anything except I'll be poorer, dumber and back at square one. Something I'd rather not. I've noticed the anxiety is much less as well. Those days are the ones to focus on when you're trying to be sober, the reminder that waking up sober and not still drunk or with a hangover is such a small, but amazing feeling.
It's wonderful this thread has so much activity. Please don't forget about outside sober support as well. There are multiple different "programs"/approaches and there's no need to do this alone. You may also make some new friends :-).
Three weeks today and I will be honest today and yesterday are some of the hardest days I've experienced yet. I believe my mind is in the process of "damn I've made it this long, may as well have a drink!"
No thanks. Gonna tough it out. Hope tomorrow is a better day.
No thanks. Gonna tough it out. Hope tomorrow is a better day.
This is the classic slip up time. The 3-4 week part can be really hard because it's easy to start telling yourself all sorts of lies such as "Oh, I wasn't really THAT much of an alcoholic" or "I'll just get one six pack" or "I deserve a drink for making it this long" just like you said. It's a really hard part to get past but I know you can do it. I would say remember how wonderful it feels to wake up full of energy and not wondering what you did part of the night before. Also, it always helped me to add up the amount of $ I saved and if I was having a real tough time I would reward myself with something small the next day if I could beat the current day that was tough for me. Good luck and I know you can make it.
Thank you, friend. I will prevail. I won't let this poison have anymore control over me. I'm more powerful than it.
for all ex-beer lovers out here, can't recommend this stuff enough. really scratches the itch for stuff like a nice craft IPA, but is tea instead of booze
hoptea.com
Hoplark - Non-Alcoholic Craft Brew, HopTea, and Sparkling Water
Hoplark is non- alcoholic craft brews, teas and waters hopped and crafted like beer. All of the hoppy flavor without the calories, sugar or alcohol. Gluten Free, Alcohol-Free, Keto friendly, Vegan, Non-GMO. Clean, simple ingredients. Winner of numerous best new beverage awards.
hoptea.com
Thanks for this! Gonna check it out.for all ex-beer lovers out here, can't recommend this stuff enough. really scratches the itch for stuff like a nice craft IPA, but is tea instead of booze
Hoplark - Non-Alcoholic Craft Brew, HopTea, and Sparkling Water
Hoplark is non- alcoholic craft brews, teas and waters hopped and crafted like beer. All of the hoppy flavor without the calories, sugar or alcohol. Gluten Free, Alcohol-Free, Keto friendly, Vegan, Non-GMO. Clean, simple ingredients. Winner of numerous best new beverage awards.
I had almost completely given up until finding this thread. It has been amazing to see the support everyone has for each other in here and to know other people are fighting the same battle. One thing that sunk in after my introduction was that a lot of times it is my "addiction" talking and not me. It made me approach sobriety with a completely different outlook this go. At this point it really is about choosing to live (literally) over drinking. Every relapse I'm one step closer to complete liver failure and should consider myself lucky I even get another chance to try. I had to taper a bit but I'm now on day 3 of sobriety and since the last bender I was on wasn't near as bad as they usually are I already am clearing up mentally and the anxiety has subsided. Some liver pain here and there but it gets better by the hour. If anything at least I have a community I can hold myself accountable to now and hopefully help to inspire some people who felt they were too far gone to get better like I did.
The accountability alone is a game changer because now you feel like you're responsible for more than just yourself. Glad you were able to figure out the difference between your addiction talking and not yourself. That's an important distinction to make. Once you do, it's a lot easier to silence that voice. Are you looking into any books or podcasts or anything? I have some that I can recommend if you are interested.
Congrats on the 3 days and congrats Shiloh on 5 months!
2 years ago I started over a year of sobriety and fell into a shitty situation at work and been drinking again for the past year. The pandemic has made it worse since I work virtual so I am drinking even more than I would have allowed myself. I want today to be day one.
I'm definitely open to some podcasts or books. The book I have found that helped me the most by far is "The Naked Mind". The style just really worked for me because she seemed honest about her love for alcohol and how she just couldn't picture life without it and that resonated with me. I still go back to that book a lot.
That was the book I started out with. I like it, I didn't find it to be the life changer or anything that a lot of people claim to be, but it did make some good points. Two other books that I can suggest are Allan Carr's Easy Way to Stop Drinking and Charle's Duhigg's The Power of Habit.
A podcast I've been listening to is Sober During Crisis, Soberful the Podcast, and a YouTube channel Talk Sober.
Great book. I read through that around the time I started with sobriety a few months back and I found it really helpful. It made it possible for me to live sober without thinking about it all the time.