Sober Era? Let's Stay Sober

[Deleted member 14649]

I drink 6-7 nights a week now probably over a pint of vodka a night and I know it's a fucked up way to live. I know I need to get out of it but it feels like the world is crashing in on me when I try to take a night off. I literally can't sleep and have the worst thoughts on a sober night. Then I have to go to work the next day on 2-3 hours sleep because of insomnia. It's a terrible cycle.

Click to shrink...

As a semi-reformed drinker, as someone who was drinking in exactly the same way, you only have a couple of rough nights when detoxing. Then your sleep improves no end. In the end I realised that a decent nights sleep was worth the sacrifice. Now I only drink occasionally so it's not as if I'm tea-total. I don't think you need professional detox facilities for the amount you are drinking though, speaking from experience of similar amounts over quite a few years too.

The first night is horrible though. I would see giant spiders in the shadows and would feel like someone was sitting on my body holding me down. Truly terrifying. That lasted for me two nights and then every night was an improvement.

I found reading before bed was the best remedy for calming down your brain which will likely not be producing as much dopamine while you are abstaining and so your mind races, hence it's hard to sleep. Reading mitigates that, for me, to a great extent. Don't even try to sleep though. 2-3 hours of actual sleep will be better than fractured sleep over an 8 hour period for example.

NB I am not a doctor. All based on personal experience only.

 

[Pwnz]

I mean... I guess I should say first that I'm also in favor of basically anything that works, so if AA keeps you sober, more power to you. But I think this gives people a false impression of what actually goes on within AA meeting rooms, and I think a newbie should understand what he's in for.

I'm not sure if this is true everywhere, but it's been true of every meeting I've been to, in multiple cities. One of the first things people do is read out "How it Works," a passage from the Big Book. They do this at every meeting. And this is the first paragraph or so of that passage.



And again, I will stress that this isn't some weird quirky thing 1920s spiritualists did and is mostly glossed over by the modern AA community. This passage is read out tens of thousands of times every day. It's one of the first passages from the Big Book that a first-timer will hear. What I'm saying is, it isn't incidental. When AA was putting together the format for its meetings, when it decided what most accurately communicated their values and their mission to new people, and what might strengthen the resolve of old timers, they chose this.

I agree that if a group insists that their way is the only way, you should split. But How it Works goes much deeper than that. It not only says that AA is the only way, but it insists that if it's not working for you it is because of your own constitutional dishonesty and defects of character, and that you are likely to die without it.

Look, all I'm saying is, if someone tells you who they are, believe them. AA is not hypocritical. The organization fully lives out the values and principles espoused in How It Works. Whether you want to trust your recovery to that organization is, ultimately, up to you.

Click to shrink...

I interpret that passage with the premise of the first sentence of those that attempt to follow the program, not all that attempt to be sober. Later in how it works before listing the 12 steps it says they are suggestions.

With that said, the big book has a lot of areas where it heavily implies that you must be spiritual and that's the only way. This is why I recommend people avoid big book groups and instead focus on sharing, meditation, and itemizing resentments/making amends. After all, AA was started by a very eccentric, drunk businessman.

But yeah whatever works.

 

[Deleted member 18502]

A friend's husband just passed of cirhossis at 35, from alcohol. Good luck to everyone that is trying to get sober.

 

[TickleMeElbow]

Gonna have to join this thread. Puked blood today. I'm constain adbominal pain right now. They gonna call me for an appointment to put me out, and stick a camera down my throat. Doctor told me that my liver shouldn't be that damaged at my age, after the scan in the fun tube machine that talks to you. Wanted to put me into detox, on the spot. I said no. That said, I have a skilled team of mental and phys health pros that meet me multiple times a week. They'll contact a local group that deals with addiction problems, to see what they could do.

Having a doctor, look you dead in the eyes and tell you will die if you continue drinking...It's sobering. Or maybe not cause I all beat m crushing a few cans right now despite the hiccups. Anxiety and pain = booze. But I'll beat this shit.

Click to shrink...

I'm sorry but if I were you I'd find a way to detox in a medical setting ASAP.

I was in a very similar situation about 5 years ago, although I wasn't puking blood at that point. In the ER they told me I might die if they let me leave, so they transferred me to a room where I detoxed right there in the hospital. They had me on Ativan the whole time which helped A LOT.

After a period of complete sobriety my liver function returned to what's basically normal.

I still have scar tissue on my liver though, which means I have to get blood tests and an ultrasound twice a year. Also have to get an EGD every couple of years to check for varices.

Also, if God forbid you need a transplant, you won't even be put on the list unless you can prove 6 months of sobriety, which is another reason why you should get into detox/rehab ASAP.

 

[DrFunk]

Can I join? My weakness is whiskey. And it's been multiple shots everyday. It's not a good look.

 

[Threadkular]

I still have scar tissue on my liver though, which means I have to get blood tests and an ultrasound twice a year. Also have to get an EGD every couple of years to check for varices.

Click to shrink...

How did you get the scar tissue diagnosed? I had multiple blood tests and my liver enzymes kept coming back fine so they left it there, but to this day with over a year sober I have some right flank tenderness I worry about and wouldn't mind getting checked out.

 

[TickleMeElbow]

How did you get the scar tissue diagnosed? I had multiple blood tests and my liver enzymes kept coming back fine so they left it there, but to this day with over a year sober I have some right flank tenderness I worry about and wouldn't mind getting checked out.

Click to shrink...

I was initially diagnosed after a bunch of blood tests + MRI.

I had a liver biopsy a couple years after I got sober which confirmed that I still had some scarring.

 

[grang]

How did you get the scar tissue diagnosed? I had multiple blood tests and my liver enzymes kept coming back fine so they left it there, but to this day with over a year sober I have some right flank tenderness I worry about and wouldn't mind getting checked out.

Click to shrink...

Not who you responded to, but I got what is called a fibroscan which gives an estimate of scar tissue severity based on elasticity of the liver tissue. Imperfect test, but it's completely non-invasive and doc said it gives a pretty good indication. But you need a biopsy to be more certain.

 

[Kas']

I relapsed a couple of months ago hard after a two yearish period of sobriety after my first (and only stint) in rehab.

One thing that rehab taught me was to pick yourself up. I felt so guilty and shitty that I had relapsed.

What were my options? Sit there and sulk and drink myself into an oblivion yet again? No, I had done enough of that in my late teens and early 20s. Fuck that. I was late on a big assignment for a class and ended up getting a B in the class. I should have gotten an A had I not relapsed but I was not going to let that bring me down. I was ecstatic and happy I had passed the class.

If you're not doing anything go to your local community college and sign up for a Guidance class or something. Do something and find something to fill your day.

If y'all even knew how down and out I have been at moments in my life. I'm still here and so are you so do something with your life.

Find a way to help people. Volunteer at a children's hospital or Hospice. Do something.

One thing that has helped me with alcohol is I have convinced myself how disgusting it is. It is rotten. It tastes like shit (subjective I guess). Think of the hangovers and depression the next day. Fuck that.

 

[justin haines]

failing is a huge part of life and it's taken me TIL I was 33 to learn that. I wish someone would have told me that a long time ago. Maybe they did and it didn't sink in.

 

[Ploppee]

hi guys,

I have my first AA meeting later after being lost for a long time and taking some advice before it destroys my relationships / life. I'm absolutely bricking it and don't really know what to expect. It's just an open meeting but anyone got any pointers / expectations?

 

[Deleted member 21339]

Been sober over two months now. All on my own, with no help. There's no fucking way I'm going to AA. My therapist is urging me to go and it seems we're at an impasse...he seemed to imply think that continue therapy with him would be contingent on me going. If that's the case then we'll just have to part ways.

 

[Cybit]

I'm traveling currently but I am gonna respond to a bunch of posts when I get back later this week.

AA has worked fantastic for me. For an open meeting it'll depend on the meeting - each AA meeting has it's own vibe and feel (there are some meetings I won't go to because of the terrible vibe) - but be prepared to hear a lot of stories similar to you, and a bunch of people who understand whatever insane things you've thought or done regardless of what they are.

 

[Angry Grimace]

Been sober over two months now. All on my own, with no help. There's no fucking way I'm going to AA. My therapist is urging me to go and it seems we're at an impasse...he seemed to imply think that continue therapy with him would be contingent on me going. If that's the case then we'll just have to part ways.

Click to shrink...

That isn't the therapist for you. Therapy isn't about ultimatums, it's about improving your mental health and if that isn't happening, you need to move on.

I slipped last month and was drinking moderately (by my standards), although nothing crazy happened and I didn't even get "wasted" once, but I still don't like how it made me feel mentally so I'm going to hop back on the wagon.

 

[Awesome Kev]

Living life one day at a time.

500 days sober today

Click to shrink...

I know I'm LTTP on this but... Wow...that is amazing an accomplishment. You should be so proud of yourself. Fuck, I don't even know you and I'm proud of you. My hats off to you. Seeing that post inspired me... thank you 🙏 🙂

As for me, on January 1st I officially reached 6 months. No drugs, no alcohol.

I'm still shocked everytime I think about this. I can't believe I've done this and I'm so proud of myself. I remember posting here last year when the thread started and I was still struggling. I relapsed and was ashamed to post again, but I did anyway. And I'm so glad I did because seeing posts like that, and seeing everyone encouraging each other, I really think it helped get where I am now.

I literally haven't gone this long without drugs or alcohol since I was 13 (I'll be 32 in February, so nearly 20 years). Unbelievable. To everyone still trying, keep going! The reward makes it all worth it.

Good luck to everyone in 2019!

 

[Mike D]

Realized I made it to over a year without alcohol when I saw an IG post of my drinking buddies at a bar. Feels good.

 

[Kas']

Been sober over two months now. All on my own, with no help. There's no fucking way I'm going to AA. My therapist is urging me to go and it seems we're at an impasse...he seemed to imply think that continue therapy with him would be contingent on me going. If that's the case then we'll just have to part ways.

Click to shrink...

AA can be a tool in the toolbox to fight addiction. Hit up an AA meeting once in awhile while going to school, working, doing volunteer work, working out...essentially filling your day with things to do so alcohol and drugs are off your mind. Some people get obsessive with AA and it puts unneeded pressure on new members of the meeting. I also personally don't like to put the pressure of counting every single day. I just go about my day not thinking "ok I'm 5 days sober now". I don't count and I always have a rough estimate. Once I get to 6 months (if I end up remembering the exact day) I pat myself on the back and then forget about it. I just personally believe it is unneeded pressure on yourself.

One thing about AA is an AA meeting is only as good as the people in the meeting. You can have politics and drama and cliques at certain AA meetings. If you live in a big city I would hit up meetings in different areas.

An alcoholic buddy of mine who travels a lot will hit up a meeting wherever he travels. He visited me from Baltimore 7 months ago and told me he went to a random meeting in San Diego and then one in L.A.

Lastly, you can have fun going out without alcohol. When I was in my abyss of drug and alcohol abuse I could not properly enjoy video games, books, sports etc. like I used to when I was younger. With sobriety and clarity that enjoyment you used to get from your hobbies comes back.

 

[Lifendz]

I decided yesterday that I have a problem and I'm going to try and fix it. Right now I'm just trying to give my body a break after I went on a bad binge over New Years and wind up missing a day of work. I'm also tired of waking up feeling nauseous and queasy over what I did the night before. One day at a time, I guess.

 

[justin haines]

I decided yesterday that I have a problem and I'm going to try and fix it. Right now I'm just trying to give my body a break after I went on a bad binge over New Years and wind up missing a day of work. I'm also tired of waking up feeling nauseous and queasy over what I did the night before. One day at a time, I guess.

Click to shrink...

I find I have to keep myself busy.

But like you said the negatives being gone will be a good feeling.

I started running and it's been way better for me than booze ever was.

 

[Ploppee]

I'm traveling currently but I am gonna respond to a bunch of posts when I get back later this week.

AA has worked fantastic for me. For an open meeting it'll depend on the meeting - each AA meeting has it's own vibe and feel (there are some meetings I won't go to because of the terrible vibe) - but be prepared to hear a lot of stories similar to you, and a bunch of people who understand whatever insane things you've thought or done regardless of what they are.

Click to shrink...

this was exactly my experience. everyone was super open and kind. a guy sat next to me and i told him it was my first meeting and he really took me under his wing, showed me the ropes etc. It was honestly amazing hearing all of these people talk about their experiences in an open environment.

I never thought it would be me as I never thought of myself as a 'typical' drunk. I'm young, healthy (apart from drink), run marathons, successful job and have my own place. But i just cannot stop once i start and it took listening to a very successful older guy tell me he's exactly the same to which really woke me up. Figuring it's not something to be embarrassed about, there's underlying issues and i'm doing the best thing about taking steps to help myself.

I'm definitely going to go back to AA weekly, sometimes twice a week. I never clocked into the whole 'God' part of it but as some people have said it's a tool to keep myself busy and not feel alone. Luckily I have the gym and running to also help but more activities never hurt to stop me sitting at home and packing back 2/3 bottles of wine.

 

[Pwnz]

The similarity between alcoholic behavior is uncanny. Otherwise completely different people have virtually the same addictive behavior. I suspect alcoholism is a genetic predisposition. If you read the big book and ignore the God tourettes, you'll find (or at least I did) most of the stories resembled myself with details of how the disease progressed beyond where I was. Eg, I never got to the taking gin shots in the morning to calm nerves, but I sure as fuck didn't want to get there. And that's the power of AA - you go to a non alcoholic therapist and you'll probably lie out your ass because your behavior is so insane, but in a room of people talking about how similarly fucked up they were, you'll instantly start being honest because the shame is gone.

 

[Guybrush Threewood]

^ Meeting last night the topic leader brought up refilling Captain Morgan bottles before his wife noticed either with more booze or food coloring and the whole room nodded. I nodded.

 

[Pwnz]

^ Meeting last night the topic leader brought up refilling Captain Morgan bottles before his wife noticed either with more booze or food coloring and the whole room nodded. I nodded.

Click to shrink...

Yup. Towards the end of my drinking career I used this method infrequently because once diluted enough, it will freeze. I would get replacements but alternate between twin liquors so I wouldn't be recognized by staff.

 

[mangopositive]

I'm 4 days into "Sober January". Throughout the year, I generally don't drink during the week, but drink a lot of beer Friday, Saturday and Sunday. As November came around, my friends (all family folk ranging from their 40's to 50's) all started doing things like "Thirsty Thursdays" and "Fucked-Up Fridays" and sometimes "Seriously? We're Doing This Again? Saturdays". I ended up going harder than normal during the holidays and need to dry out a bit. So far, it's been pretty easy. I do feel weird, but it's not a bad weird. Just a different weird. I am noticing withdrawal though, so it's a clue that I need to go ahead and adjust my drinking habits when I start back. That is, if I don't start really liking sobriety. I might just try vaping in February instead, depending on how much money I save / pounds I lose.

I had the most vivid dream I've had in years last night, so that's a good sign.

 

[Lifendz]

Well, here comes the hard part. It's Friday and normally, I'd be eagerly anticipating stopping by the liquor store on my way home and picking up two bottles to get me blackout drunk tonight. It's only two days into sobriety, but if I can make it through the weekend, I think I'll be able to commit to abstaining from liquor for a couple of weeks and maybe for a month or two after that.

 

[shnurgleton]

I've been off booze since Monday and I'm having awful sleep, or rather, rough mornings. I get a full 6-8 hours of sleep, then wake up extremely groggy. To wit at the same time I've also stopped using juul which I picked up last month in an ill advised attempt to wean myself off booze and I find I'm craving that far more than the alcohol. Being completely substance free (and also actively trying to lose weight) makes me very restless. Most of this week I've been laying in bed before 8 because I don't know what to do with myself. Hopefully as I get back into a more routine biking/exercise schedule it'll dissipate

 

[Awesome Kev]

I've been off booze since Monday and I'm having awful sleep, or rather, rough mornings. I get a full 6-8 hours of sleep, then wake up extremely groggy. To wit at the same time I've also stopped using juul which I picked up last month in an ill advised attempt to wean myself off booze and I find I'm craving that far more than the alcohol. Being completely substance free (and also actively trying to lose weight) makes me very restless. Most of this week I've been laying in bed before 8 because I don't know what to do with myself. Hopefully as I get back into a more routine biking/exercise schedule it'll dissipate

Click to shrink...

It gets better, I promise. The first few weeks of my sobriety I fell into a major depression, which didn't make sense to me since I was doing such a good job at not drinking. I came to realize I was actually experiencing withdrawal symptoms. It got a lot worse before it got better but it did get better. The beginning is the hardest part. Just keep telling yourself one day at a time. You got this.

 

[Pwnz]

You'll be amazed at how your health improves. Even small things like hobbies. I got a Wii U during my drinking career and I remember thinking new super Mario bros was too hard 2 levels in. I picked it back up a couple of weeks ago and played through it in a few days.

The hardest thing is avoiding the first drink for the first few weeks. It gradually gets easier but relapsing resets it.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

I relapsed after 4 months sober in November. I've had 2 heavy drinking days since then and a few casual days. I definitely am drinking a lot less than I was but I would prefer to be sober again for a long time. Even once in a while kinda sucks. I have a double birthday to attend tomorrow and I am going to have some drinks. Its back on the wagon after that. After drinking for so long then being sober for a while then picking it back up, the benefits of being sober become really apparent. I didn't drink anything on Xmas or NYE so the willpower to not drink is still there.

 

[Deleted member 14649]

You'll be amazed at how your health improves. Even small things like hobbies. I got a Wii U during my drinking career and I remember thinking new super Mario bros was too hard 2 levels in. I picked it back up a couple of weeks ago and played through it in a few days.

The hardest thing is avoiding the first drink for the first few weeks. It gradually gets easier but relapsing resets it.

Click to shrink...

Everything improves. Within days even my sight was clearer. I'm surprised that people are saying they had depression in the early days of sobriety though. You *should* get an initial rush of enthusiasm and positivity when you first abstain. Depression is likely a bit further into the process however.

 

[Awesome Kev]

Everything improves. Within days even my sight was clearer. I'm surprised that people are saying they had depression in the early days of sobriety though. You *should* get an initial rush of enthusiasm and positivity when you first abstain. Depression is likely a bit further into the process however.

Click to shrink...

It started within the first week for me. Yeah there was definitely an initial period of being positive which helped the transition almost feel easy, but it wore off after 4 or 5 days for me. Especially once I had a hard day at work or any other little thing got me feeling even slightly down. It was like an elephant sat on my chest, I remember thinking I hadn't felt that in years because, well, I hadn't. I'd forgotten what dealing with an emotion felt like because normally I would drink that shit away.

Others who are more physically dependant have even worse withdrawals, so I consider myself lucky. Still, that was the hardest part for me because I had to relearn how to deal with feelings, and that was something I was not expecting. I always mention this in my posts here in hoping I can prepare someone for that in case they aren't considering that possibility either.

 

[Herb Alpert]

Ok, holidays are over for me. I ate a lot, drank a lot.

Now I'm going to try to stay sober a few weeks, maybe the whole month.
Should be hard cause I've got a really nice and tasteful France Southwest White wine in the fridge, but, heh, that will be for the wife.

 

[Amibguous Cad]

Been sober over two months now. All on my own, with no help. There's no fucking way I'm going to AA. My therapist is urging me to go and it seems we're at an impasse...he seemed to imply think that continue therapy with him would be contingent on me going. If that's the case then we'll just have to part ways.

Click to shrink...

There's a method out there for quitting called the Sinclair Method, which involves taking a certain drug while drinking that makes it not fun to make the behavior extinct. I wouldn't recommend you try it if you're already abstinent, but they have a directory of professionals that will be able to treat you without reference to AA, if that's what you want. https://cthreefoundation.org/find-a-physician

SMART recovery is also billed as a secular, cognitive behavioral therapy alternative to AA. A lot of AA treatment professionals will let you substitute the one for the other. And, if they don't, a local meeting is a good place to ask about suitable therapists. https://www.smartrecovery.org/

 

[Jeremiah]

Had a pretty emotional past 10 days. My brother hit bottom, and is now in rehab, hopefully on his path of recovery!

He's been struggling with alcohol and medication abuse for over 5 years now. His using progressively got worse by the year. He'd have periods, figure every other month, when the using would stop. He would catch up with real life. During the 3-4 weeks, his life would improve, be positive, have clarity and all that, only to end up using again. He always claimed it was not addiction that drove him to start again, rather, his surroundings or circumstance. An addict can't choose the thoughts they have towards what their addicted to, but simply acknowledging and separating between your addiction and yourself is a great first step.

The night before my brother entered rehab he sent me this text:

"I'm not doing too well man"
"Sorry forgot to say happy bday" (well over 1 month late lol)
"I've been fucked up"
"I think i might need to go to rehab lol"
"But not yet, i'm still able to get fucked up and control it"

I knew deep down that he was getting tired of all the using, and this was the first time he openly mentioned it.
Huge fight at a club, stitches on his head, a broken heart and a big medical bill later, he called me and asked for help getting into a rehab.
Spoke with him several days ago and there was this genuine happiness that i have not heard in over 10 years.

Really hope it does him good, because even the doctors reckon he was on his way to an OD with the amount he was using.

Can I join? My weakness is whiskey. And it's been multiple shots everyday. It's not a good look.

Click to shrink...

Of course mate, welcome... how are you doing today?

hi guys,

I have my first AA meeting later after being lost for a long time and taking some advice before it destroys my relationships / life. I'm absolutely bricking it and don't really know what to expect. It's just an open meeting but anyone got any pointers / expectations?

Click to shrink...

How did it go?

Been sober over two months now. All on my own, with no help. There's no fucking way I'm going to AA. My therapist is urging me to go and it seems we're at an impasse...he seemed to imply think that continue therapy with him would be contingent on me going. If that's the case then we'll just have to part ways.

Click to shrink...

I personally am not a member of AA, though i might go to several meetings throughout the year when my father is in town to accompany him. Outside of the heavy God rhetoric, it's rather enjoyable, and I've found that many are able to stay sober and be truly happy... feel like i am missing the latter part, and a few have told me it's all about working the program that deals with understanding yourself better.

Not saying what your therapist said is at all okay, and completely respect your decision. I suppose i had to write this out to see how i feel about AA myself.

I decided yesterday that I have a problem and I'm going to try and fix it. Right now I'm just trying to give my body a break after I went on a bad binge over New Years and wind up missing a day of work. I'm also tired of waking up feeling nauseous and queasy over what I did the night before. One day at a time, I guess.

Click to shrink...

Good luck and welcome... i feel you, nothing worse than a bad hangover to make you question whether it's worth it lol

See that's the thing i used to question myself on... why the fuck i would continuously drink to the point of regrettable hangovers.
Drinking 4-5 drinks is enough to get shit faced and perhaps feel groggy the next morning -- but not me, i would regularly drink so much more than that.
In reality, you don't get any more buzzed after 3-5 drinks... just like i don't get any more full after say 1-2 plates of food, but what drives me to just keep going?

And yes, one day at a time!

The similarity between alcoholic behavior is uncanny. Otherwise completely different people have virtually the same addictive behavior. I suspect alcoholism is a genetic predisposition. If you read the big book and ignore the God tourettes, you'll find (or at least I did) most of the stories resembled myself with details of how the disease progressed beyond where I was. Eg, I never got to the taking gin shots in the morning to calm nerves, but I sure as fuck didn't want to get there. And that's the power of AA - you go to a non alcoholic therapist and you'll probably lie out your ass because your behavior is so insane, but in a room of people talking about how similarly fucked up they were, you'll instantly start being honest because the shame is gone.

Click to shrink...

Yeah i've noticed this, and my father is in the AA program, been sober for 30 years. Checks out about it being a genetic predisposition.

 

[Ploppee]

Had a pretty emotional past 10 days. My brother hit bottom, and is now in rehab, hopefully on his path of recovery!

He's been struggling with alcohol and medication abuse for over 5 years now. His using progressively got worse by the year. He'd have periods, figure every other month, when the using would stop. He would catch up with real life. During the 3-4 weeks, his life would improve, be positive, have clarity and all that, only to end up using again. He always claimed it was not addiction that drove him to start again, rather, his surroundings or circumstance. An addict can't choose the thoughts they have towards what their addicted to, but simply acknowledging and separating between your addiction and yourself is a great first step.

The night before my brother entered rehab he sent me this text:

"I'm not doing too well man"
"Sorry forgot to say happy bday" (well over 1 month late lol)
"I've been fucked up"
"I think i might need to go to rehab lol"
"But not yet, i'm still able to get fucked up and control it"

I knew deep down that he was getting tired of all the using, and this was the first time he openly mentioned it.
Huge fight at a club, stitches on his head, a broken heart and a big medical bill later, he called me and asked for help getting into a rehab.
Spoke with him several days ago and there was this genuine happiness that i have not heard in over 10 years.

Really hope it does him good, because even the doctors reckon he was on his way to an OD with the amount he was using.



Of course mate, welcome... how are you doing today?



How did it go?

Click to shrink...

sorry to hear about your brother. Hope he's going to stick to it. It was good! I actually enjoyed it. It wasn't that heavy on the God stuff that I don't really care about. It was just nice to be in a welcoming environment where people could share their experiences. I come from a group of friends that will just joke about stuff like this and brush it under the table.

Almost 1 week down and actually feel good. So much more awake and got some stuff lined up to do. Staying busy is going to be important I think.

hope everyone's had a good and sober weekend :)

 

[Lifendz]

Thanks for the kind words, OP. And I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Addiction runs in my family and my father actually died a few years ago from an overdose and I know all too well the pain of watching a loved one go through addiction. I hope everything works out for him.

 

[Deleted member 47843]

Ok, holidays are over for me. I ate a lot, drank a lot.

Now I'm going to try to stay sober a few weeks, maybe the whole month.
Should be hard cause I've got a really nice and tasteful France Southwest White wine in the fridge, but, heh, that will be for the wife.

Click to shrink...

I'm doing the same. Doing a dry January after drinking too much too often the past few months. Nothing like the double digit a day drinks many here describe or even drinking to bad hangovers. Just too many 2-4 beer weeknights and 3-6 beer Friday's and Saturday's. Did a dry month last April when the wife and I did the Whole 30 thing (mostly did it to support her as it's hard to prepare separate meals) and it was pretty easy. Will limit drinking to Friday and Saturdays after that.

So far so good. My wife is just doing the Friday and Saturday thing now and I hung out with her having some beers at our local spot Friday and just had club soda and didn't really struggle with temptation and we were there a few hours chatting.

 

[Addie]

I'm doing the same. Doing a dry January after drinking too much too often the past few months. Nothing like the double digit a day drinks many here describe or even dinking to bad hangovers. Just too many 2-4 beer weeknights and 3-6 beer Friday's and Saturday's. Did a dry month last April when the wife and I did the Whole 30 thing (mostly did itmto support her as it's hard to prepare separate meals) and it was pretty easy. Will limit drinking to Friday and Saturdays after that.

So far so good. My wife is just doing the Friday and Saturday thing now and I hung out with her having some beers at our local spot Friday and just had club soda and didn't really struggle with temptation and we were there a few hours chatting.

Click to shrink...

Congrats! Yep, same here. My girlfriend has to do Dry January as well, and I already committed to it. It's actually much easier than I thought, although our first anniversary in a couple of weeks is going to be difficult. Might break it for one night then, but who knows? I'm fine with ordering my second vice - Diet Coke.

 

[Lifendz]

Well, I made it through the weekend without drinking. Sounds terrible to say, but it's the first weekend in months, maybe years, where I didn't have a drink. Still debating whether I want to go back to only drinking on Friday and Saturday or if I want to keep this sobriety thing going for a bit, but I gotta say I do notice the difference. I feel much more energetic and the general fog I was operating in through most of December has dissipated. Not sure if I got it here or somewhere else, but just taking it one day at a time and telling myself I don't want to drink today has really helped. And it was great to finish God of War over the weekend and wake up the next day actually able to remember what the final parts of the game were like.

 

[The Artisan]

I drank a lot on Saturday so in terms of alcohol I think I should start practicing sobriety

 

[Lexad]

Coming up on a year in March.

Tried AA but it wasn't really my thing. My success came from being very open with friends about it from my church and was shown a lot of grace and love I didn't feel like I deserved. Made it easy for them not to offer me a drink either

 

[HotHamBoy]

I have a problem, I think, where being sober is just dreadfully boring.

Now, I don't drink any more (more a matter of preference) and I've dropped all other drug use from my life but one:

Weed.

Life is really boring without weed. And i know this because I've had plenty of long stretches without it.

I'm a high-functioning pothead. I can carry on my day stoned and do stuff. I even often prefer to do chores stoned because it's less, well, boring. I prefer music, tv and movies stoned because I am so desensitized otherwise. It's not that I can't enjoy that stuff sober, i just really appreciate the immersion when high.

I make music high. I don't think it's better or worse than my sober music, so no advantage there either way.

Being high makes me more objective about myself, more intro-spective and self-reflecting, more empathetic and considerate. All big wins for weed.

I am not more productive sober. I often avoid work, responsibility and even hobbies sober and only get motivated when I smoke and feel guilt about what I'm neglecting.

...but I can't draw high. That's a big one, but unfortunately I'm only ever motivated to draw when I'm high. Sober, it's all procrastination and frustration.

But being high all the time is unrealistic for me. I live in Indiana where it isn't even medicinally legal. I go through about $50 of THC every week or so and I am not in a good financial place for that. Worse, it's just not something I can rely on being able to buy even when I have the money.

It would be really cool if I could enjoy life with zest and vigor without any drugs at all to cope.

Oh. Also, I've suffered chronic depression and anxiety my whole life and I hate the way I feel on anti-depressants and benzos. I recently stopped the former because it was making me too complacent and killing my creativity and I haven't fucked with the latter for years because they're trash.

Solutions?

Coming up on a year in March.

Tried AA but it wasn't really my thing. My success came from being very open with friends about it from my church and was shown a lot of grace and love I didn't feel like I deserved. Made it easy for them not to offer me a drink either

Click to shrink...

Congratulations!

 

[Powdered Egg]

I have a problem, I think, where being sober is just dreadfully boring.

Now, I don't drink any more (more a matter of preference) and I've dropped all other drug use from my life but one:

Weed.

Life is really boring without weed. And i know this because I've had plenty of long stretches without it.

I'm a high-functioning pothead. I can carry on my day stoned and do stuff. I even often prefer to do chores stoned because it's less, well, boring. I prefer music, tv and movies stoned because I am so desensitized otherwise. It's not that I can't enjoy that stuff sober, i just really appreciate the immersion when high.

I make music high. I don't think it's better or worse than my sober music, so no advantage there either way.

Being high makes me more objective about myself, more intro-spective and self-reflecting, more empathetic and considerate. All big wins for weed.

I am not more productive sober. I often avoid work, responsibility and even hobbies sober and only get motivated when I smoke and feel guilt about what I'm neglecting.

...but I can't draw high. That's a big one, but unfortunately I'm only ever motivated to draw when I'm high. Sober, it's all procrastination and frustration.

But being high all the time is unrealistic for me. I live in Indiana where it isn't even medicinally legal. I go through about $50 of THC every week or so and I am not in a good financial place for that. Worse, it's just not something I can rely on being able to buy even when I have the money.

It would be really cool if I could enjoy life with zest and vigor without any drugs at all to cope.

Oh. Also, I've suffered chronic depression and anxiety my whole life and I hate the way I feel on anti-depressants and benzos. I recently stopped the former because it was making me too complacent and killing my creativity and I haven't fucked with the latter for years because they're trash.

Solutions?


Congratulations!

Click to shrink...

LOL damn son. Most of that post applies to me, even down to the $50 a week. I been smoking daily like 2 years straight and decided to stop since New Year's because it was affecting my desire to communicate. I was getting slightly reclusive and I'd take a week or so to respond to texts, calls, and emails.

Although i experience boredom, being busy is helping me. Do you run or workout at all? I find that doing so helps my mood a lot and I feel like I don't "need" the weed then. I also want to step my financial situation up, so being sober and studying finances/retirement is part of my plans.

I can't read while high and I want to read more books, so I'm looking forward to doing so. Maybe zone in, bunker down and focus on your art since you do that better while sober? Or try to find other activities that you like to do but aren't good at them while stoned? Good luck!

 

[HotHamBoy]

LOL damn son. Most of that post applies to me, even down to the $50 a week. I been smoking daily like 2 years straight and decided to stop since New Year's because it was affecting my desire to communicate. I was getting slightly reclusive and I'd take a week or so to respond to texts, calls, and emails.

Although i experience boredom, being busy is helping me. Do you run or workout at all? I find that doing so helps my mood a lot and I feel like I don't "need" the weed then. I also want to step my financial situation up, so being sober and studying finances/retirement is part of my plans.

I can't read while high and I want to read more books, so I'm looking forward to doing so. Maybe zone in, bunker down and focus on your art since you do that better while sober? Or try to find other activities that you like to do but aren't good at them while stoned? Good luck!

Click to shrink...

I almost added that I enjoy reading while high, too lol.

I've been smoking for almost 15 years. My own parents can't tell at all when I'm stoned or not and they would absolutely call me out on it if they could.

I am trying to start excerising and eating better, but it's haaaaaaaaard.

The whole drawing thing has its own issues seperate from drugs and sobriety. I've been fighting myself to draw more for several years now.

 

[Ploppee]

Well, I made it through the weekend without drinking. Sounds terrible to say, but it's the first weekend in months, maybe years, where I didn't have a drink. Still debating whether I want to go back to only drinking on Friday and Saturday or if I want to keep this sobriety thing going for a bit, but I gotta say I do notice the difference. I feel much more energetic and the general fog I was operating in through most of December has dissipated. Not sure if I got it here or somewhere else, but just taking it one day at a time and telling myself I don't want to drink today has really helped. And it was great to finish God of War over the weekend and wake up the next day actually able to remember what the final parts of the game were like.

Click to shrink...

this rings really true with me. coming up to my second weekend without drinking from tomorrow. this will be the longest I've gone without a drink at the weekends in as long as I can remember. even these two weeks have helped massively though, i'm so much less tired, creativity that would take me ages to think about come forward as fully fleshed out ideas in my head much more quickly. I'm more more positive and willing to communicate. I also find myself getting excited about things i used to that i thought i just didn't enjoy anymore, looking forward to a binge on ocarina of time this weekend as opposed to a binge on 3 bottles of wine.

Some days suck hard though, a couple of days ago I couldn't stop thinking about having a drink. I just have to ride it out until bedtime really, the evenings are definitely harder than the morning. But as they say, it's day by day.

 

[Dullahan]

Down to 6 beers per night. Doctor mandated cause I got hallucinations from the withdrawal, when I tried to quit cold turkey. Today is also 6, then two days of 5, then 4, etc. Getting there slowly.

 

[Jeremiah]

Some days suck hard though, a couple of days ago I couldn't stop thinking about having a drink. I just have to ride it out until bedtime really, the evenings are definitely harder than the morning. But as they say, it's day by day.

Click to shrink...

I feel you... used to get bored and start thinking about having a drink. Not saying this will be the case for you, but I discovered in my boredom that I wanted to drink so I would not have to face reality. Used to consider alcohol as a means of innocent escapism, but it was so much more than that for me. Sure alcohol made me do things I otherwise would not have, but it also put a massive lid on my creativity, my true feelings and was a shield from facing uncomfortable things.

But it's true mate, one day at a time.

Down to 6 beers per night. Doctor mandated cause I got hallucinations from the withdrawal, when I tried to quit cold turkey. Today is also 6, then two days of 5, then 4, etc. Getting there slowly.

Click to shrink...

Look I know we are on a forum, but real talk, I'm so happy for you. Good on you. Persevere mate, you can do this.

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

Down to 6 beers per night. Doctor mandated cause I got hallucinations from the withdrawal, when I tried to quit cold turkey. Today is also 6, then two days of 5, then 4, etc. Getting there slowly.

Click to shrink...

How much were you drinking before that?

 

[Dullahan]

Look I know we are on a forum, but real talk, I'm so happy for you. Good on you. Persevere mate, you can do this.

Click to shrink...

My wallet is also supremely happy haha.

Now for how much I used to drink? About 14-16 beers a day, daily for many years. I haven't had a full meal in years. I'm a drunken bag of bones. But no more. I don't have a choice. I pick living. Sorry booze.

 

[Threadkular]

So I'm an outspoken alcoholic and now sober person and don't want to pick out one respond, but for those talking about "controlled drinking" (i.e. just on the weekends, etc.), the advice is generally "give that a shot and tell me how that works out for you". If you're an alcoholic like me and so many other people, it's just going to get worse with time and you'll be back where you were. There's something about alcoholism that proved to me that history just repeats itself (hell, that might be the depth of my spirituality/God).

That said, I can't commit to never taking a drinke for the rest of my life. That's too scary. But I'm not going to drink today, and with how great my life is I can't see myself taking a drink in the foreseeable future. That's just how it works.