Do you normally tell people that you asked for advice in situations?
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Sister told me not to play Lili (Tekken 7) in front of her husband when he visits...
- Thread starter MajulaDream
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Do you normally tell people that you asked for advice in situations?
I think the vast majority of the talking she does isn't with her husband, but with Jesus.
I don't know what to think anymore. So the BiL wasn't even privy to the decision. I didn't even think about the angle of the sister deciding for the BiL. Was too distracted with the religious side cause I can relate to it... Has the BiL expressed interest in video games? Was the OP just sharing his hobby with him in hopes he might start gaming?
Having read this entire thread and all the replies threads like these and the tons of replies that are always the same are the reasons I always regret the very few rare times I visit/read anything on the gaming side on this site. It's why I pretty much avoid gaming anything anywhere, "progressive" my ass...
excelsiorlef 's post is spot on.
Ugh...
excelsiorlef 's post is spot on.
Ugh...
oof, imagine missing out on Bloodborne cuz your mom/wifes religion lmao.
inb4 she has issue with you giving the future kid a New 4DS bundled with Pokemon Gamma
inb4 she has issue with you giving the future kid a New 4DS bundled with Pokemon Gamma
I know you're joking but I know a few "Christan Households" that see Pokémon as pagan spirit worship.
She sounds controlling and irrational. Her husband shouldn't be allowed to play Bloodborne because it depicts "spirits" and "dark rituals"? Umm, time to check in to the loony bin. Or to grow up.
This is the kind of wackiness one should look out for before getting married.
This is the kind of wackiness one should look out for before getting married.
If you truly care about your wife, you'll be cool about her controlling what you can and cannot consume behind your back with zero respect for your opinion. That's true love.
Unilaterally deciding what's good or bad for someone else is just plain bad.
We're talking about a grown man here, not a kid.
We're talking about a grown man here, not a kid.
The OP is a... mess to try to figure out what exactly is going on in it.
I mean first of all your sister sounds as if she has some pretty serious control issues. You can let someone know your hopes and wishes but you can't control them. And video game depictions of spirits are not the same thing as inviting negative spiritual energy into your home.
But not only that, it sounds even crazier that it seems as though she didn't really give you any kind of good reason not to play as Lili in the first place? I really don't get it. Beyond "he has history" with that kind of thing, it sounds almost uhm... Criminal?
I don't see how their marriage is going to work out, in any case. There seems to be a much deeper psychological aspect to all of this which might need investigating. Her limitations seem pretty wild and positive energy can't foster in that environment.
I mean first of all your sister sounds as if she has some pretty serious control issues. You can let someone know your hopes and wishes but you can't control them. And video game depictions of spirits are not the same thing as inviting negative spiritual energy into your home.
But not only that, it sounds even crazier that it seems as though she didn't really give you any kind of good reason not to play as Lili in the first place? I really don't get it. Beyond "he has history" with that kind of thing, it sounds almost uhm... Criminal?
I don't see how their marriage is going to work out, in any case. There seems to be a much deeper psychological aspect to all of this which might need investigating. Her limitations seem pretty wild and positive energy can't foster in that environment.
OP should just bail out. it's futile to fight against that kind of thinking. if the husband is okay with that, then that's that.
if you really want to play Tekken with the guy, i guess some creativity would be necessary. maybe play at some of his friend's places?
if you really want to play Tekken with the guy, i guess some creativity would be necessary. maybe play at some of his friend's places?
actually yeah I'd agree with Robert, just give gift cards and let your sister and brother-in-law decide what game(s) he can get
I'd like to believe her heart's probably in a good place, but a "Christian home"? It's a bold move Cotton, let's see if it pays off.
That's what I'd do.
Not playing certain characters or even not playing the game at all is a pretty easy thing to do after all, even if you don't agree with her reasons.
Let them worry (or not) about the other stuff.
Just had a decent conversation about this with my gf.
Turns out, if I was secretly deciding what she could and could not consume (media, food, drink, types of conversation, exposure to ideas, anything) and then going one step further and trying to actually orchestrate the removal of these elements by talking to people behind her back to make sure she wasn't exposed to it, all without ever so much as asking her opinion on the matter; she would leave me for being the controlling, manipulative fucker I would be.
Seriously this is really messed up.
Turns out, if I was secretly deciding what she could and could not consume (media, food, drink, types of conversation, exposure to ideas, anything) and then going one step further and trying to actually orchestrate the removal of these elements by talking to people behind her back to make sure she wasn't exposed to it, all without ever so much as asking her opinion on the matter; she would leave me for being the controlling, manipulative fucker I would be.
Seriously this is really messed up.
OP, everything in your update post seems reasonable (as gamers we're often exposed and desensitized to violence and some disturbing imagery other people may not), except for this bit...
While I understand the sentiment, it seems to be not so much that she worries about what he's exposed to, as much as about what she's indirectly exposed to, and potentially what their kids might be exposed to as well. Think of it from her point of view as second hand smoking. Which is, of course, what makes it even more important that she talks about it with her husband so that they're both in the exact same page as soon as possible.
But you raise a good point that it's very worrying that she did this behind her husband's back, if that was the case.
... perhaps drop an off-hand remark that she should talk to her husband about the topic as well? More communication is always a good thing, especially in a relationship.
While I understand the sentiment, it seems to be not so much that she worries about what he's exposed to, as much as about what she's indirectly exposed to, and potentially what their kids might be exposed to as well. Think of it from her point of view as second hand smoking. Which is, of course, what makes it even more important that she talks about it with her husband so that they're both in the exact same page as soon as possible.
But you raise a good point that it's very worrying that she did this behind her husband's back, if that was the case.
What an astounding failure to see the bigger picture. It's not really about video games, it's about someone not having the right to decide what their partner is "allowed" to be exposed to, without even acknowledging their right as a human being to have their own decisions in regards to what they consume. You could replace video games with anything else, like ideologies (and judging by "no evil spirits in my house" thing, I feel like certain ideologies might be exactly the kind of thing that's on her 'my husband is not allowed to be exposed to this, and I will ensure he will not be exposed without him even knowing" list.) And the issue is still the same.
This thread, if it needed to exist at all, should not have existed until the actual context that only now has been added after 20 pages have gone by.
What an astounding failure indeed. We know literally nothing about the couples or the relationship aside from the very small amount of information provided by OP yet here we are in a 10 page thread discussing their relationship like we have any idea what we're talking about. Astounding failure indeed.
imagine being able to care about a loved one but also allowing them to enjoy themselves in entertainment no one but them have to take part in and one that could continue to grow a relationship with another member of the family in a positive direction.
big oof indeed
People said she was controlling in the beginning of this thread and then we found out that she is controlling......what are people failing to see here.
Isn't the entire point of contention that she's actively denyi him of these choices? Without his knowledge, to boot.
.
they need to talk and sort it out. they are adults and should be able to consume whatever entertainment they want tbh
Wow the plot thickens (although in a very predictable direction)
I guess she doesn't want to share these concerns with her husband in fear of scaring him away? Not my place to say but from the little details we have I can tell with some confidence that this ain't healthy for their relationship.
I guess she doesn't want to share these concerns with her husband in fear of scaring him away? Not my place to say but from the little details we have I can tell with some confidence that this ain't healthy for their relationship.
Most Era topic in a while.
Grown adults who "can't" play whatever ordinary video games they want, religious puritanism and a fear of Bloodborne because "blasphemy".
Video games will be the least of the concern in a relationship that potentially controlling and/or rooted in religious extremism.
Good luck to your sister and her husband. Each to their own, but the OP and updates sound incredibly petty and highly irrational. Leave it to them to sort out and just stay out of it OP. If her husband wants to meet those requirements then there's nothing for you to do.
Grown adults who "can't" play whatever ordinary video games they want, religious puritanism and a fear of Bloodborne because "blasphemy".
Video games will be the least of the concern in a relationship that potentially controlling and/or rooted in religious extremism.
Good luck to your sister and her husband. Each to their own, but the OP and updates sound incredibly petty and highly irrational. Leave it to them to sort out and just stay out of it OP. If her husband wants to meet those requirements then there's nothing for you to do.
Christian homes are well known havens for the filthiest porn.
Jesus won't know as long as you remember to use an incognito window.
Of the kids me and my sis knew growing up with "extreme" religious parents like that (banning one from going to my house because we watched the Addams Family Values, another growing up gay in the most extreme religious city in this country) most ended up with something extreme going on in their life. Either drug addiction, lust for extreme fetish porn or prison... Probably because they weren't allowed shit and had to find their pleasures via other means / ended up going crazy the moment they had freedom.
Not saying thats gonna happen but stories like this about using religion like that...ugh just reminds me those kind of situations.
Anyway I'm glad I don't have to deal with situations like that in my life/family, they know games never made me worship satan.
(as far as they know >:] muahaha)
Not saying thats gonna happen but stories like this about using religion like that...ugh just reminds me those kind of situations.
Anyway I'm glad I don't have to deal with situations like that in my life/family, they know games never made me worship satan.
(as far as they know >:] muahaha)
she remembers master Willem's adage is all
her husband's eyes are yet to open
You misread me. Unfortunately I'm saying the opposite of what you have been saying.
If my sister was telling me not to buy Tekken or Bloodborne I'd be taking the piss if it was because of ordinary female characters or claims Bloodborne is satanic/isn't suitable for a Christian household.
We're talking about adults here, not 5 year olds. OP has to leave it, but for reasons of keeping his own sanity rather than clashing with the irrational. It's their relationship, if it's going to be this controlling and restrictive it's up to them to suffer under that or navigate through it.
The topic might have some childish posts in it, but they're hardly more childish than the reasons given an adult shouldn't be allowed to play Tekken or Bloodborne.
I don't think you know what Petty and irrational means.
That op had a resonable talk with his sister to find out why and resolved the conflict in a respectable manner.
Fake Edit: Never mind, I'm an idiot who can't read properly apparently, carry on
Better to just use that incognito window and worry about what the neighbors are doing.
I'm probably off in crazy land here, but this mixed with the whole thing the sister said implying the BiL (potentially) had a history with female violence is turning this thread pretty dark.
Good job not reading. I'm wondering if you're just trying to see how many "lol at this thread" posts you can get in a single page.
Not their conversation, that's fine and yeah it's always best for non confrontational discussion when possible.
I'm saying going down the path of genuine religious puritanism and nonsense around satanic games/imagery endangering your Christian home is irrational. As far as I can see the Tekken character the OP brought up isn't even showing skin.
You can't argue reason against that though, so, the OP is just going to have to leave it and his sisters husband can fight that battle if wants to. No Tekken or Bloodborne for him if he doesn't.
OP can use Era to vent but it's not his relationship to navigate. No point in potentially hurting his personal relationship with his sister over some video games.
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