Should my friend boycott a racially-insensitive bachelorette party?

[echoshifting]

White people in the UK are really oblivious to stupid racist shit like this. There's definitely no malice in this. Just ignorance. If you tell them they'll definitely get all defensive, so I think just making an excuse and not going is the best bet.

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If they can't handle criticism for this, which I agree is likely to be the case, then it is conceited and malicious. I feel like some in this topic are understating how grossly racist it is to present a caricatured stereotype as a costume of a specific Black person with no thought given to that person's actual appearance. I can't imagine this happening at a party and not immediately walking out in disgust. I don't like to give much benefit of the doubt to other white people who get prickly about this kind of bullshit. None of us should.

 

[Kaseoki]

If they can't handle criticism for this, which I agree is likely to be the case, then it is conceited and malicious. I feel like some in this topic are understating how grossly racist it is to present a caricatured stereotype as a costume of a specific Black person with no thought given to that person's actual appearance. I can't imagine this happening at a party and not immediately walking out in disgust. I don't like to give much benefit of the doubt to other white people who get prickly about this kind of bullshit. None of us should.

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Agreed with that. While maybe there was no original malice to begin with, if they're not able to handle the criticism and get angry because they feel that they are being accused, then yes it does turn into malice. Definitely seen this white fragility many times in the UK. White tears and all.

 

[Blent]

White people in the UK are really oblivious to stupid racist shit like this. There's definitely no malice in this. Just ignorance. If you tell them they'll definitely get all defensive, so I think just making an excuse and not going is the best bet.

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Yeah, this is I think the problem for her. I grew up in the same part of the country as most of these people and there wasn't hardly a single Black British person around.

While my friend has educated herself and is pretty progressive and conscious about this kind of stuff, I imagine a lot of the people involved wouldn't even think twice about something like this.

Not that that makes it right or is an excuse. It's just that if you call it out, you're guaranteed to get a defensive response and hurt some white egos

 

[Kaseoki]

Yeah, this is I think the problem for her. I grew up in the same part of the country as most of these people and there wasn't hardly a single Black British person around.

While my friend has educated herself and is pretty progressive and conscious about this kind of stuff, I imagine a lot of the people involved wouldn't even think twice about something like this.

Not that that makes it right or is an excuse. It's just that if you call it out, you're guaranteed to get a defensive response and hurt some white egos

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Also depending on which city they're going partying in, it would be much safer for your friend to not to go. The city where I grew up in had a decently sized black and Asian population and there were altercations time to time because white people did/said some stupid stuff while drunk on the streets.

 

[Messofanego]

Yeah, this is I think the problem for her. I grew up in the same part of the country as most of these people and there wasn't hardly a single Black British person around.

While my friend has educated herself and is pretty progressive and conscious about this kind of stuff, I imagine a lot of the people involved wouldn't even think twice about something like this.

Not that that makes it right or is an excuse. It's just that if you call it out, you're guaranteed to get a defensive response and hurt some white egos

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I would love to be the one to say to them "oh btw the wig thing is a wee bit racist" and then see their white fragility come pouring out.

 

[Dizzy Ukulele]

So my only contribution to this thread is that I searched what a Beyoncé wig would be and one of the results was this Afro.

Amazon.co.uk

From the product description:

This brilliant Beyoncé Afro Wig is the perfect accessory for your Halloween party or themed event.

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I'd have left out the Halloween bit, to be honest. Bristol Novelty is the name of the company that makes it so at least I don't think they're calling the Afro a novelty hairstyle in the title. But they kind of are.

 

[NekoNeko]

Who even associates beyonce with afro style hair? Weird.

 

[echoshifting]

So my only contribution to this thread is that I searched what a Beyoncé wig would be and one of the results was this Afro.

Amazon.co.uk

From the product description:



I'd have left out the Halloween bit, to be honest. Bristol Novelty is the name of the company that makes it so at least I don't think they're calling the Afro a novelty hairstyle in the title. But they kind of are.

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This looks a lot like her hair in Austin Powers: Goldmember and as someone said earlier, if you're doing that complete look (ie, wearing a Foxxy Cleopatra costume instead of a Beyonce costume), that would be a different story

 

[KillLaCam]

would have been fine without the afro wig

 

[Kaseoki]

So my only contribution to this thread is that I searched what a Beyoncé wig would be and one of the results was this Afro.

Amazon.co.uk

From the product description:



I'd have left out the Halloween bit, to be honest. Bristol Novelty is the name of the company that makes it so at least I don't think they're calling the Afro a novelty hairstyle in the title. But they kind of are.

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Bristol is so white.

 

[Ensoul]

Who even associates beyonce with afro style hair? Weird.

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She was in one of the Austin powers movies and had a huge afro. That's the only thing I can think of.

Regardless I don't understand the point of wearing any wig. Just do the dances?

 

[electroshockwave]

We both seem to have different life experiences. Then again, im Canadian.

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O Canada, the magical land of no racism.

 

[Paterique]

As a white person, it's definitely safe to assume that most white people you meet are either racist or are racially insensitive at best.

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you see thats where my problem is...Assuming....anyways, ive made my points and understand the counterpoints. All good

 

[ShaggsMagoo]

This was an accidental post. Please disregard.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

you see thats where my problem is...Assuming....anyways, ive made my points and understand the counterpoints. All good

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You used "I'm Canadian" as a defense. Bruh. So am I and I'm black. You really think that white canadians are not racist or minimally do racially insensitive things? Do we not go through the whole offensive halloween costumes every fucking year? The black face? Is their not pictures of our literal prime minister doing brown face?

You're not saying much of anything. This isn't a hill to die on man. It comes across as wack.

 

[Eye for an Eye]

Plain and simple, wigs look horrible, especially with modern camera resolution. And dancing in one… gross. All I can think of is how itchy my head would be just having it on. If they were really going for a Beyonce look, one of her outfits would be my line of thought. A wig does not really entail a persona, it's the costume itself.
Hip high slit. Bedazzled leotard. 99% see thru. That screams Beyonce.

I would just say it's not the best idea and I don't want to be a part of it. You can ask me again if you think of a better idea.

 

[Deleted member 8593]

i honestly dont get it, maybe its the sign of times....but if they learn the Beyonces dance moves and want to dress like beyonce to honor her because they like her....how is that a bad thing? Unless the person has had issues with racism in the past i dont know....im arabic and if a friend wants to dress like one of their favorite arabic singers, i wouldnt see a problem.

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I don't like to through people's profiles but your low post combined with frequent appearances in threads where you repeatedly defend racists makes this very easy. You'd think that getting banned for dismissing racial concerns twice (1, 2) would get old for you but I guess not. Also:

always been curious about that. why a black superman, spider-man etc....the black community deserves heroes that represent them, their own heroes. black panther, luke cage, storm etc...As a white man, i never wanted a white black panther, hes black....just like superman is white....anyways, have a hard time getting these posts, maybe im missing the point.

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Really? Im white....im not racist. You guys and gals are crazy....racism is a huge problem but trust me, this stance is not only untrue, it truly doesnt help fix issues. Racisms sucks, racism is a huge problem...racists are pieces of shit. But to literally stack a whole race as racist?? Maybe a little bit pushing it and not helpfull. But kind of reminds me of why im affraid to post here

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Agree with most of what he said...but then again, im a white middle of the road liberal. Some of the rerhoeic on Maher here is scary, u should listen to the message od ur new potus instead of just cheering him. Nobody wins when everybody hates, and white nationalist trumpist, maher is not. But again, in some peoples perceived utopia, on far left thinking is allowed.

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What makes you think that you're in a position where you can talk about racism directed towards black people with any sort of authority?

 

[Paterique]

I don't like to through people's profiles but your low post combined with frequent appearances in threads where you repeatedly defend racists makes this very easy. You'd think that getting banned for dismissing racial concerns twice (1, 2) would get old for you but I guess not. Also:







What makes you think that you're in a position where you can talk about racism directed towards black people with any sort of authority?

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true im not in a position to talk, i have been faced with racism all my youth which wasnt easy tbh, might not compare to what an american black man faces but i can gurantee you it wasnt easy. And i would never defend a racist, just dont like putting every one in the same basket. Also, thanks for pointing out why i hate posting here..

 

[Kyuuji]

true im not in a position to talk, i have been faced with racism all my youth which wasnt easy tbh, might not compare to what an american black man faces but i can gurantee you it wasnt easy. And i would never defend a racist, just dont like putting every one in the same basket. Also, thanks for pointing out why i hate posting here..

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When you repeatedly find yourself on the same side of the argument that racists occupy maybe it's time to evaluate your train of thought.

 

[HylianSeven]

At the risk of sounding stupid, what do you mean by "afro style Beyonce wig"? I just Googled "Beyonce afro" and got this.

I think it's probably not a good idea to wear that if this is what it is.

Before reading the afro part, I assumed you meant something more like the one below which didn't seem bad to me.

 

[T'Chakku]

true im not in a position to talk, i have been faced with racism all my youth which wasnt easy tbh, might not compare to what an american black man faces but i can gurantee you it wasnt easy. And i would never defend a racist, just dont like putting every one in the same basket. Also, thanks for pointing out why i hate posting here..

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Why did you identify as white in that thread but said you were Arabic earlier in this thread?

 

[Paterique]

Why did you identify as white in that thread but said you were Arabic earlier in this thread?

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Very white proud lebanese person here...try growing up in 80s canada with a 10 letter unreadable name and not face racism lol...why the fuck would u imply in lying about my origins lol you guys are freaking weird

 

[T'Chakku]

Very white proud lebanese person here...try growing up in 80s canada with a 10 letter unreadable name and not face racism lol...why the fuck would u imply in lying about my origins lol you guys are freaking weird

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Because you were clearly using "I'm a minority" to have some sort of authority in dismissing the racially insensitive nature of the topic in this thread. Something people, especially white people, love doing on the internet.

The fact you identified as just white in that thread multiple times and then Arabic in this one so you could use it to shield your opinion excusing the afro get-up says something.

 

[Royalan]

At the risk of sounding stupid, what do you mean by "afro style Beyonce wig"? I just Googled "Beyonce afro" and got this.

I think it's probably not a good idea to wear that if this is what it is.

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That's also not an afro. That's curly hair.

It would honestly be less offensive, and even make more sense, to imitate this look if you're going to do Beyonce. Because she often does wear her hair curly. And that look if actually quite close to a style non-Black people rock all the time, even if the hair textures are visibly different.

Like this:

 

[Legacy]

Shut it down.

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.

 

[CasuallyDressed]

A friend of mine had a 'corona party' where everyone invited was required to dress up 'like Mexicans'. Because get it? Coronavirus? Corona the beer?! lol!

I said from the start I wasn't comfortable going because I knew the exact kind of shit they'd be wearing. It wasn't an authentic and genuine celebration of Mexican culture and food or whatever (I don't think the guy has ever mentioned Mexico to me in his life). It was obviously just gonna be the shitty tropes and caricatures you see on Cinco de Mayo in the US etc.

I always maintained "Look, I know you're not doing this to be offensive, but it's also not genuine and I wouldn't feel comfortable being there and taking part." I never suggested they were evil people, just that it wasn't for me.

Anyway, for weeks and weeks, they mocked me for overreacting. They said "It won't be anything offensive" and that I should lighten up. Then, the weekend of the party comes and goes and I see a bunch of photos go up on Facebook. The costume of the couple hosting? Mexican drug cartel lords. Fucking lol.

I'm not sure what to suggest, really. It's England. We're miles behind on this shit. People still dress up as 'terrorists' (always Muslim-looking, of course) and actual paedophiles on stag dos and think it's fine.

My non-attendance became a topic of conversation among the whole guestlist and I'm still made to feel like I was overreacting by not going. In the end, I know I made the right choice, I'm glad I didn't go, and I know after 30 years of social progress, they'll look back at those pictures and think "Eeesh, fuck, that was bad. Rory was right.".

But in the meantime, if your partner doesn't go, she can probably expect to be ridiculed and have people talk behind her back about being a 'snowflake' or something.

 

[Deleted member 8752]

So one of my friends is going to one of her friend's wedding next month. The bride's friends have organised a surprise bachelorette party and invited my friend to come along.

Apparently they are going to have a special Beyonce-themed dance class where they're going to learn a couple of dance routines to Beyonce songs and just have a fun time. All sounds like good fun.

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Up to here sounds okay.

But they have also ordered the bride-to-be a 'Beyonce wig' for her to wear during all the activities and my friend is pretty uncomfortable at the idea of a bunch of white, middle-class English women doing Beyonce stuff while one of them wears a wig and pretends to look like an prominent woman of colour. It sounds a little... problematic.

What should she do? Should she call them out, decline to participate or just go along with it?

EDIT: I've been told that the wig is an afro style

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This is WTF territory. I wouldn't go to this shit.

It's like asking to get canceled and adds nothing to the experience other than looking like racist assholes.

 

[Omoi]

Yeah, I don't know how it is in the US, but here in the UK people just use a stag or hen do as a carte blanche to be as offensive in any and all ways as possible. Overt racism is kind of just par for the course. It's spectacularly shitty.

It just sounds like super typical hen do shit, and either you're in for that, or you're not, I suppose.

 

[Astral]

Who even associates beyonce with afro style hair? Weird.

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This is what I'm still trying to wrap my head around. I can think of no other reason other than she's black.

 

[Merc_]

Very white proud lebanese person here...try growing up in 80s canada with a 10 letter unreadable name and not face racism lol...why the fuck would u imply in lying about my origins lol you guys are freaking weird

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You're suspect as hell, dude.

 

[Afrikan]

they bought this didn't they

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You know what... if a couple wanted to buy this for their private life, I wouldn't have an issue with it. All types of Women look sexy in Afros.

 

[nel e nel]

If the best defense anyone can come up with is MAYBE a reference to a 20 year old movie that anyone under 30 most likely does not quote on a regular basis, then it's probably a shitty idea.

 

[hey it's that dog]

So my only contribution to this thread is that I searched what a Beyoncé wig would be and one of the results was this Afro.

Amazon.co.uk

From the product description:



I'd have left out the Halloween bit, to be honest. Bristol Novelty is the name of the company that makes it so at least I don't think they're calling the Afro a novelty hairstyle in the title. But they kind of are.

Click to shrink...

Feels like they're using the keyword Beyonce just to spice up a generic light colored afro wig. If it's related to Goldmember, why not use her character's name as well? I'm far from an expert on Beyonce, but I do know that she's had many hair styles most of which are not an afro.

As for the bachelorette party... does it have to be this wig? The rest of it sounds innocent enough.