Shaquille O'Neal says his daughters can stay home as long as they want, but his son's must move out at 18

[Warhawk4Ever]

So he's a bad parent who shouldn't be allowed to raise children.

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Oh stop. Jesus people, not every single thing a celebrity says needs to become this huge freaking debate. He shouldnt be allowed to raise kids because of THIS??? Yea, nevermind he has raised kids who love him and are upstanding citizens. Some of you really are shameful.

Lord, y'all are always so ready to write off anyone for having a shitty view, surely you are perfect. Right?

Your post is more reflective that YOU shouldn't raise children than Shaqs. Heavens forbid your kid grows up to have an opinion you don't like.

 

[Sirhc]

its a shitty patriarchal attitude.

In this specific case though, it sounds like its mostly for show. Like what does "leaving home at 18" mean when your parents are multi-millionaires? They put you up at a penthouse apartment while you go to college?

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Yeah I doubt they are wanting for anything, especially from some of those other posts.

Kinda a shitty thing to say about kicking your sons out but there is a real stigma for guys living with their parents so I kinda get it from that angle, as long as his daughters get the option to move out with the same support this really doesn't seem like a big deal.

 

[Jiggy]

If you watched basketball wives you'd know his kids are more than fine. Shaq is trolling.

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People really think he's just throwing his kids out on the street. I'm sure they all got trust funds and shit.

 

[Aztechnology]

Gross

However, like others have said not like they aren't absolutely taken care of financially. Just dislike the attitude.

 

[skeezx]

usually a dad's "we're kicking you out at 18" thing is more of a ceremonial proclamation than what literally will go down

his attitude is shitty but he's not making under $60K/yr with those six kids

 

[Advance.Wars.Sgt.]

Remember a lot of people here or on neogaf before saying their kids would get the boot at 18 and it was a popular sentiment.

Expected Shaq meant like the sons have to find another place but not cutting them off totally.
Anyway, seems like it was kind of debunked because his sons are older and got lots of expensive gifts.



Can you please elaborate a bit on this?
I don't get the connection to white supremacy.

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The current ideal of patriarchy is part and parcel to white supremacy, which propagates the message you're not a "real" man if you're not pushing towards individualistic pursuit.

 

[Hoa]

This isn't how you build up generational wealth in 22.

He'll probably still pay for their places though so they'll be good.

 

[HardRojo]

Toxic masculinity fucking sucks.

 

[Royalan]

So he's a bad parent who shouldn't be allowed to raise children.

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You can just not.

You always have the option to not.

Something always on the menu, a HOUSE SPECIAL, if you will...is the Not. Over easy. With a side of fries.

 

[Warhawk4Ever]

You can just not.

You always have the option to not.

Something always on the menu, a HOUSE SPECIAL, if you will...is the Not. Over easy. With a side of fries.

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The type of posts you responded to are so tiring. People are just so freaking comfortable making all encompassing judgments based on single statements. Forget that Shaq is an upstanding man who does absolutely amazing work for kids around the country and whose own children adore him, just downright disgusting,

 

[Royalan]

The type of posts you responded to are so tiring. People are just so freaking comfortable making all encompassing judgments based on single statements. Forget that Shaq is an upstanding man who does absolutely amazing work for kids around the country and whose own children adore him, just downright disgusting,

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Yeah, you're not wrong.

Absolutely stomach churning, made especially worse by the fact that you KNOW this is some performative bullshit.

Which then forces you think...hmm, I wonder what it is about this thread and this person that compelled this user to turn on the stage works?

And I don't like the conclusion I'm always forced to come to.

 

[julia crawford]

Fucking hell. How would you say this about your kids... publicly in an interview that is recorded for all foreseeable posterity...?

 

[Warhawk4Ever]

Fucking hell. How would you say this about your kids... publicly in an interview that is recorded for all foreseeable posterity...?

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Because he knows his kids dont take him seriously....

PEOPLE, SHAQS KIDS KNOW HIM MORE THAN YOU DO. Why are you SOOOOO bothered by this? Jesus. Shaq has been a joker his entire career. Why are you so affected by this? So fucking bizarre...

 

[Bradbatross]

Well they're rich. I'm sure any 18 year old with that kind of money would want to move out asap.

 

[B-Dubs]

Y'all arguing over this, meanwhile we should be remembering Shaq's Gas Math.

 

[GameAddict411]

Y'all arguing over this, meanwhile we should be remembering Shaq's Gas Math.

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That's just crazy lmao. He knows 80 is half 160 but still insists that 20 is half of 80. Also it doesn't matter how much you fill your car. You will consume the same amount of gas if you drive a certain route.

 

[EntelechyFuff]

On one hand, I've seen this attitude a lot, and sometimes in weird and specific ways like...they bought the daughters new cars when they got their licenses, but they bought the son a used cheap shit car when he got his, and explicitly told him it was because he was male and should work for a good car.

...On the other hand, whenever I hear "27 and never moved out of their parents house" it's almost always in reference to a man. I'm not sure what the real demographics on that are, but the science from my ass indicates that dude children need a little bit more of a push.

 

[Warhawk4Ever]

On one hand, I've seen this attitude a lot, and sometimes in weird and specific ways like...they bought the daughters new cars when they got their licenses, but they bought the son a used cheap shit car when he got his, and explicitly told him it was because he was male and should work for a good car.

...On the other hand, whenever I hear "27 and never moved out of their parents house" it's almost always in reference to a man. I'm not sure what the real demographics on that are, but the science from my ass indicates that dude children need a little bit more of a push.

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100% agreed,

 

[Dreams-Visions]

its a shitty patriarchal attitude.

In this specific case though, it sounds like its mostly for show. Like what does "leaving home at 18" mean when your parents are multi-millionaires? They put you up at a penthouse apartment while you go to college?

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that's exactly what it meant, yes.

pure showmanship here, for the crowd that likes this kind of talk.

 

[SpaceCrystal]

Edit: Never mind; Saw other posts saying that it's all an act.

 

[collige]

How long do enbiy childen get to stay?

 

[Gigi A]

I'm not surprised at all. Same person who said, "We're not rich. I'M rich." to his kids, and that they need to earn their money

 

[Mr Jones]

Y'all a bunch of marks getting worked by Shaq. He takes pretty damn good care of all of his kids from everything I've seen.

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Yeah, I have to remember that they are the children of a multi-millionaire. They'll be taken care of and okay. All his kids don't have anything to worry about.

It just speaks to my daddy issues. My broken ass probably could use a therapy session or two.

 

[Pluto]

The type of posts you responded to are so tiring. People are just so freaking comfortable making all encompassing judgments based on single statements. Forget that Shaq is an upstanding man who does absolutely amazing work for kids around the country and whose own children adore him, just downright disgusting,

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Yeah, fuck me for getting triggered by a statement that to me sounded sexist and abusive. Boys gotta go, girls can stay as long as they want? The only reason to treat children differently should be their individual needs, not their gender.
"Men are strong, need to make it on their own, women are delicate flowers, need to be protected by men" is a shitty attitude, you can hardly argue against that.

Yeah, you're not wrong.

Absolutely stomach churning, made especially worse by the fact that you KNOW this is some performative bullshit.

Which then forces you think...hmm, I wonder what it is about this thread and this person that compelled this user to turn on the stage works?

And I don't like the conclusion I'm always forced to come to.

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If you're implying my reaction was because he's black I'm just going to quote you:

You can just not.

You always have the option to not.

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Seriously, if I'm not supposed to make a snap judgement based on his statement maybe you could extend the favor to me and not read my post in the worst way possible? What makes you think I wouldn't have same reaction if a white guy said this? I didn't even think about the fact that he's black, my focus was entirely on him expressing a patriarchal bullshit attitude.

And no, you're not forced to come to the conclusion that it's a race issue for me, you chose to come to that conclusion. Maybe you could give me the benefit of the doubt here?

 

[Kastanjemanden]

lol
I love these rich people not giving their kids handouts

Gordon Ramsey is doing the same

 

[Royalan]

I didn't even think about the fact that he's black, my focus was entirely on him expressing a patriarchal bullshit attitude.

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This is what your post was about? Because what I read was a pretty simple and basic statement about how Shaq is a bad parent who shouldn't be allowed to raise kids. I read that because that's what you wrote.

Because, you know, there's no such thing as gray in this world. If you express an admittedly antiquated but widespread viewpoint on the preparedness of boys entering adulthood (and thus the world)...clearly, the problem is you being bad! Bad! Bad Shaq!

I would happily extend more nuance to your point, because I don't agree with what Shaq said and I do feel that even if he was joking (which, he could have been!), this fend-for-yourself mindset we force onto young boys is antiquated and I do believe harmful long-term. But I can't do any of that! Because what you wrote was very basic, and frankly seemed to be more interested in being spiteful than offering any nuanced perspective.

Also, I wouldn't be The Black Mod Named Royalan if I didn't point out that this accepted lack of nuance and mean-spiritedness seems to be the default when the subject of criticism on this site is a Black person. If that wasn't your intention...Ok. But I'mma still point it out.

 

[Gyro Zeppeli]

There is a greater conversation to be had for parents who pressure their kids to leave the house at 18. This seems to be a cultural norm for American parents. It's my belief that if people have children and raise them in their house, then that house is as much their children's as it is theirs. They can give them a choice to leave or stay at 18, but forcing your children out is cruel and heartless. Honestly, if that is how it is, then they shouldn't expect their children to hardly give a shit about them when they grow old.

 

[TheMadTitan]

This is what your post was about? Because what I read was a pretty simple and basic statement about how Shaq is a bad parent who shouldn't be allowed to raise kids. I read that because that's what you wrote.

Because, you know, there's no such thing as gray in this world. If you express an admittedly antiquated but widespread viewpoint on the preparedness of boys entering adulthood (and thus the world)...clearly, the problem is you being bad! Bad! Bad Shaq!

I would happily extend more nuance to your point, because I don't agree with what Shaq said and I do feel that even if he was joking (which, he could have been!), this fend-for-yourself mindset we force onto young boys is antiquated and I do believe harmful long-term. But I can't do any of that! Because what you wrote was very basic, and frankly seemed to be more interested in being spiteful than offering any nuanced perspective.

Also, I wouldn't be The Black Mod Named Royalan if I didn't point out that this accepted lack of nuance and mean-spiritedness seems to be the default when the subject of criticism on this site is a Black person. If that wasn't your intention...Ok. But I'mma still point it out.

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And I'd stretch this out to say that even if Pluto didn't aim in that direction, plenty of people on this site fucking do and using that post to point it out is way more than valid.

 

[Ruddles]

This seems to be a cultural norm for American parents.
/snip

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It's a big thing in the U.K. as well. One other poster mentioned Gordon Ramsey, who is often lauded for his responsible attitude to not spoiling his kids (no money in the will for them, strict allowance and they do the chores, they fly coach while he flies first). It's widely considered to be great parenting over here. But the U.K. is famously backward about literally everything so IDK.

Also, sorry to point out the obvious, but Ramsey is white, and I guess the rules are 'different' for what's laudable for parents of colour.

 

[JahIthBer]

Pretty common where i live, sons get a kick in their ass by their Dad to get out.

 

[Something Creative]

IIRC I heard Shaq on the Conan podcast talking about how he was raised and basically praising his dad for a harsh, unforgiving approach. It sounded pretty fucked up and his thoughts on it suggested he'd try and do the same with his kids. I'm sure that's hard with unlimited resources, but maybe he would overcompensate by kicking them out.

 

[J2C]

Its an old-school thought of gender roles, and guys gotta learn to be self sufficient, and support/work for themselves when they're physically capable. Shaq with sports was a physical feat, so makes sense he thinks that

The daughters, take care for, care, educate. But if the son wants to go an education route or anything longer term, he should be working and supporting himself. Blah blah. Which is becoming increasingly less realistic these days, with costs of living

Don't think he wouldn't financially cover his sons though. Anyway, most kids would argue to "go away to college" as a purely altruistic pursuit, get parents to pay, then party for 4 years and refuse to go back home once tasting independence anyway. So refusing career or life discussions, supervising your kid's future, actually isn't some foolproof way to encourage them to take on responsibility

Don't imagine anyone will suffer in this situation, but dumb logic anyway

 

[Moff]

This has nothing to do with harming his sons but all about controlling his daughters.

 

[Creation_Scapes]

And for him to double down on the comments when asked if he was serious makes it even worse.

 

[Pluto]

This is what your post was about? Because what I read was a pretty simple and basic statement about how Shaq is a bad parent who shouldn't be allowed to raise kids. I read that because that's what you wrote.

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I'm not going to pretend I made a well thought out post, I clearly did not but with the way the thread was going when I made it (which was mostly calling out his patriarchal attitude) I thought it was obvious. That's my mistake because there's no way for anyone to know what I thought when I wrote it but I was still taken aback when I woke up and was basically called a racist.

Because, you know, there's no such thing as gray in this world. If you express an admittedly antiquated but widespread viewpoint on the preparedness of boys entering adulthood (and thus the world)...clearly, the problem is you being bad! Bad! Bad Shaq!

I would happily extend more nuance to your point, because I don't agree with what Shaq said and I do feel that even if he was joking (which, he could have been!), this fend-for-yourself mindsight we force onto young boys is antiquated and I do believe harmful long-term. But I can't do any of that! Because what you wrote was very basic, and frankly seemed to be more interested in being spiteful than offering any nuanced perspective.

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That's fair criticism.

Also, I wouldn't be The Black Mod Named Royalan if I didn't point out that this accepted lack of nuance and mean-spiritedness seems to be the default when the subject of criticism on this site is a Black person. If that wasn't your intention...Ok. But I'mma still point it out.

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And you should point it out. But maybe try to not jump to conclusions, it's one thing to point out that a post could be read a certain way, that's perfectly fine and I agree that my post wasn't great. But reading that you were forced to come to that conclusion is what I didn't like so much because it leaves little to no room for a more charitable interpretation.

 

[Kill3r7]

Shaq says a lot of shit but what are we talking about? All but one of his kids are in college or adults having successful careers. His youngest son is 19 and plays college ball. I am not sure if any of them are clamoring to live at home.

 

[brawndolicious]

It's a big thing in the U.K. as well. One other poster mentioned Gordon Ramsey, who is often lauded for his responsible attitude to not spoiling his kids (no money in the will for them, strict allowance and they do the chores, they fly coach while he flies first). It's widely considered to be great parenting over here. But the U.K. is famously backward about literally everything so IDK.

Also, sorry to point out the obvious, but Ramsey is white, and I guess the rules are 'different' for what's laudable for parents of colour.

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I don't think there's anything wrong at all with a rich person deciding that it's best for their kids (and the rest of society) if wealth wasn't generational and people have to earn most of what they get. Considering he's probably paying for their education and a bit extra, there should be no barrier to his kids achieving a comfortable, middle-class life at the very least.

The debate here is whether Shaq is saying that boys should have different expectations when it comes to generational wealth or that girls should be monitored well into adulthood to "protect" them. Not sure which one it is but both ways of thinking are pretty shitty.

 

[hydrophilic attack]

if he's serious, it sucks

i think there's a chance he's joking, but who knows

 

[jackie daytona]

I don't think there's anything wrong at all with a rich person deciding that it's best for their kids (and the rest of society) if wealth wasn't generational and people have to earn most of what they get.

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I do. It plays into the idea that all people are required to work, when that hasn't been the case for some time in human history.

I can get it if the kid is a giant dumbass and actually doesn't deserve any favors, but for the vast majority? Give those kids a life of luxury. If they want to work on something they're passionate about? Great. If not? No real loss to the world.

The idea that leisure time is something to be earned is one of the most toxic mindsets in the world. It's like going out of your way to not buy your child the toy they really want for Christmas, not because of budget or practicality, but because you think disappointment is a valuable lesson.

 

[Necromanti]

I don't think there's any indication that he's a bad father or is unwilling to provide for his kids. But the implications of what he said, joking or not, kind of suck and is not exactly an uncommon mindset. Him having the money to offset that isn't really relevant there.

 

[brawndolicious]

I do. It plays into the idea that all people are required to work, when that hasn't been the case for some time in human history.

I can get it if the kid is a giant dumbass and actually doesn't deserve any favors, but for the vast majority? Give those kids a life of luxury. If they want to work on something they're passionate about? Great. If not? No real loss to the world.

The idea that leisure time is something to be earned is one of the most toxic mindsets in the world. It's like going out of your way to not buy your child the toy they really want for Christmas, not because of budget or practicality, but because you think disappointment is a valuable lesson.

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I mean that's just not correct. In the developed world, a lot of the reason we have leisure time is because a lot of agriculture and manufacturing takes place in countries where companies can be much less concerned about the concept of work-life balance.

I'm not even getting into how generational wealth is responsible for the feudalistic version of capitalism that we're living in right now. Leisure time isn't earned, there's just a lot less of it than you think and it's concentrated onto those born in more fortunate circumstances.

 

[Dragonyeuw]

Its an old-school thought of gender roles, and guys gotta learn to be self sufficient, and support/work for themselves when they're physically capable. Shaq with sports was a physical feat, so makes sense he thinks that

The daughters, take care for, care, educate. But if the son wants to go an education route or anything longer term, he should be working and supporting himself. Blah blah. Which is becoming increasingly less realistic these days, with costs of living

Don't think he wouldn't financially cover his sons though. Anyway, most kids would argue to "go away to college" as a purely altruistic pursuit, get parents to pay, then party for 4 years and refuse to go back home once tasting independence anyway. So refusing career or life discussions, supervising your kid's future, actually isn't some foolproof way to encourage them to take on responsibility

Don't imagine anyone will suffer in this situation, but dumb logic anyway

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This entire conversation triggers me because I fell out with my mother and sister a year ago over this shit. I went out at 24 after college and bought my own house and car( this was back in 2002 when such things were still possible compared to today's insanity), while my younger sister (she's 38) has basically been at home, had my parents pay for her education INTO her mid 30s without any form of repayment, got married last year and moved the husband into my old room, and just had a baby a month ago( for the record, she's not working). If I had done anything remotely close to this my parents would have deemed me 'less than a man' who couldn't care for himself. And like many people nowadays, I've had my peaks and valleys of struggling to meet ends, periods of underemployment, and it doesn't even occur to me to lean on my 80 year old boomer parents. I would have to be near-death to ask for their help but again, this shit is ingrained.

Sorry for the offload......

 

[jackie daytona]

I mean that's just not correct. In the developed world, a lot of the reason we have leisure time is because a lot of agriculture and manufacturing takes place in countries where companies can be much less concerned about the concept of work-life balance.

I'm not even getting into how generational wealth is responsible for the feudalistic version of capitalism that we're living in right now. Leisure time isn't earned, there's just a lot less of it than you think and it's concentrated onto those born in more fortunate circumstances.

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And some rich asshole forcing his kid to take a nepotic publishing job helps the farmers in India…how exactly?

You're making it sound like one rich kid in the work force is easing the burden on the ultra poor worldwide, and that is just not correct.

edit: just so I don't come off as being pro-rich: yeah I think generational wealth is bullshit. I don't think we should have ultrawealthy families around the world pulling strings behind the scenes and hoarding wealth. On the other hand, my hatred of the wealthy doesn't mean I think their children deserve to needlessly go through the hardships most of us put up with. I mean, I don't think there's a single one of us who hasn't at some point wished, "man I don't want to put up with this bullshit anymore. I wish I had just enough in the bank to retire tomorrow and never worry about bills."

 

[deftones r cool]

I moved out when I was 18, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Sink or swim.

If you're 18, you better be going to school or working or both, boy or girl regardless. Shaq's old school I guess

 

[Afrikan]

There is a greater conversation to be had for parents who pressure their kids to leave the house at 18. This seems to be a cultural norm for American parents. It's my belief that if people have children and raise them in their house, then that house is as much their children's as it is theirs. They can give them a choice to leave or stay at 18, but forcing your children out is cruel and heartless. Honestly, if that is how it is, then they shouldn't expect their children to hardly give a shit about them when they grow old.

Click to shrink...

 

[Hollywood Duo]

Has Chuck weighed in on this yet

 

[hydrophilic attack]

I moved out when I was 18, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Sink or swim.

If you're 18, you better be going to school or working or both, boy or girl regardless. Shaq's old school I guess

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if you move out at 18 to go to school, your student loan debt will end up considerably higher. better to study while living with your parents so you don't need to pay for rent with income you don't have

 

[Deleted member 2595]

"I like my girls a little bit better," O'Neal admits. "Because as a man you have to protect, provide and love your woman."

"I trust them more because they're more sensitive, they're more caring and they're thinkers," he adds of his daughters. "You know how boys are. My boys, you bring something in front of them and they're gone."

"I tell my boys when y'all get 18 you all got to go. Girls can stay as long as they want," he continues.

Asked if the former athlete was sincere in his response, O'Neal replies, "I'm dead serious."

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Just wtf at this whole passage

 

[brawndolicious]

And some rich asshole forcing his kid to take a nepotic publishing job helps the farmers in India…how exactly?

You're making it sound like one rich kid in the work force is easing the burden on the ultra poor worldwide, and that is just not correct.

edit: just so I don't come off as being pro-rich: yeah I think generational wealth is bullshit. I don't think we should have ultrawealthy families around the world pulling strings behind the scenes and hoarding wealth. On the other hand, my hatred of the wealthy doesn't mean I think their children deserve to needlessly go through the hardships most of us put up with. I mean, I don't think there's a single one of us who hasn't at some point wished, "man I don't want to put up with this bullshit anymore. I wish I had just enough in the bank to retire tomorrow and never worry about bills."

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In America, the top 1% controls like 30% of wealth and the top 10% control like 80% of wealth. So even if you JUST evened it out a bit in America, that would make a big difference for the average person in terms of free time and financial security, but still not remotely to the point where everyone could focus on being an artist or doing something that fulfills a passion but doesn't pay anything.

Which is better for society, one person getting their dream job through their parents or five people getting an extra day off per week?

 

[deftones r cool]

if you move out at 18 to go to school, your student loan debt will end up considerably higher. better to study while living with your parents so you don't need to pay for rent with income you don't have

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Oh I totally agree. That's what I was trying to say lol