When a man gets raped it messes with their head even more because the arousal is visible with an erection and being aroused by rape brings that association of sex being rape.
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Sexual Assault of Men Played for Laughs - Part 2 Female Perpetrators ( Pop Culture Detective)
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I've seen other videos/discussions around Male Sexual Assault being played for laughs in recent years, but I haven't seen anything as detailed as Pop Culture Detective's two videos in terms of breaking down the different kinds of "jokes", the defenses for them, and why ultimately it's all harmful/has been harmful for how people think of Sexual Assault.
Also the That's My Boy (2012) movie clips looked terrible/were the "best" example in the video in regards to highlighting how terrible these jokes are.
Also the That's My Boy (2012) movie clips looked terrible/were the "best" example in the video in regards to highlighting how terrible these jokes are.
That was a great video. I was vaguely aware of That's My Boy before, but I buried it deep in my memories I suppose.
Also didn't realize (1) "Baby It's Cold Outside" was made for a movie, and (2) said movie had a gender flipped version that was played for comedy.
Also didn't realize (1) "Baby It's Cold Outside" was made for a movie, and (2) said movie had a gender flipped version that was played for comedy.
Man this thread died and fell down a few pages fast. Kinda speaks to the point of the video about how the issue isn't taken seriously....
As someone who has been sexually assaulted roughly 5 times in several jobs, I can tell you I was never given proper care and treatment when I came forward. The assaults have been ; hands down my pants and grabbing of my genitals, ass grabbing, kissing directly on the mouth, stroking of my inner thigh.
In every case I have had several strange reasons to not have been taken seriously
- "Men can't be sexually assaulted
- "As if someone would want you"
- "You're making it up"
- "I bet you liked it"
- "She obviously liked you, you're meant to do it back"
The managers and HR have also treated it like a joke, dismissing it outright, making it seem like I was going after the company and not the person doing it to me as well as spending more effort covering it up than actually finding out the truth. Because of the amounts of times I have been sexually harrassed, I now carry a digital camera pen with audio recording.
In every case I have had several strange reasons to not have been taken seriously
- "Men can't be sexually assaulted
- "As if someone would want you"
- "You're making it up"
- "I bet you liked it"
- "She obviously liked you, you're meant to do it back"
The managers and HR have also treated it like a joke, dismissing it outright, making it seem like I was going after the company and not the person doing it to me as well as spending more effort covering it up than actually finding out the truth. Because of the amounts of times I have been sexually harrassed, I now carry a digital camera pen with audio recording.
Yeah, it sucks. Threads about this issue never get a whole lot of traction. It's hard to speak up about personal experience about it in the first place and then most people genuinely just do not care, because it has been so downplayed and written off as a joke over and over.
Plus, even media outlets that are very left don't do much to raise awareness about it either. The shit in Midsommar is really grotesque and I watched it go completely unaddressed in places that are usually pretty good about other stuff like Fandom's SJU podcast. It felt very silencing.
It was a fantastic video and a great second part to the first one.
I really enjoyed the segment where he talks about some of the role reversal being based on a need to feed into people's desire for "revenge". To frame the men as though they deserved what they got, etc. Some people have this desire to see reversal situations as some sort of catharsis and it's incredibly dangerous.
It was also great how he explained the harms to both men AND women by making male rape a joke.
I really enjoyed the segment where he talks about some of the role reversal being based on a need to feed into people's desire for "revenge". To frame the men as though they deserved what they got, etc. Some people have this desire to see reversal situations as some sort of catharsis and it's incredibly dangerous.
It was also great how he explained the harms to both men AND women by making male rape a joke.
I think I remember a thread about male suicides being so much more promenant and it died really fast too.
And of course the most obvious trope involving revenge and rape "dont drop the soap har har you sold some pot so I hope you get raped and abused in jail lol"
Probably enough for it's own video.
Absolutely. I think the first part he did talks about that but I know there have been other video essays about it. There's other YouTubers I'd like to see cover it as well to get their perspectives and analysis. Hbomberguy, Philosophy Tube, Sarah Z, etc.
Yea, a lot of the time I hold my tongue on these types of issues, simply because I don't think people really care, or that my views would be seen as somewhat unimportant within the sea of other human related issues.
I think my anxiety associated with these kinds of topics kind of feeds into the continuation of people ignoring the topic. My lack of vocalization on this subject reflects my person views on how society may unknowingly view men to no fault of their own.
This video is great but the issue really sucks, and it annoys me pretty frequently to this day even if I choose to gloss over it and move on to something else.
I remember seeing the MST3K episode "The Violent Years" and 4 women force a man at gunpoint into the woods where they rape him (one woman ends up pregnant). And the guys are riffing like this is something great for the guy. And even back then I thought this guy just got raped. How is this something to cheer? I'd like to think they'd do this differently today but I'm not so sure.
Thanks for the reminder! I saw it pop up and forgot about it; I'm getting to it now. Should be excellent.
And, um, if this sort of thing has happened to you, whether or not you've posted in the thread, two things:
- I know this probably doesn't mean much from me, but I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
- I care, and I hope you're doing better now. 💜💜💜
Omg you weren't kidding.
Episode is from 1994, the movie itself was written by Ed Wood.
The one that bothers me most is the episode of The Simpsons from 2000's. Not the panda scene. This one is 10x worse. Marge starts working out and if memory serves, starts taking supplements and getting muscular. Homer tells her he's not in the mood, she pins him down in the bed and tells him that's up to her to decide.
I had erased it from my memory until a coworker mentioned seeing the episode recently.
Disgusting.
You're a good person. I appreciate you.
User Banned (2 Weeks): Inflammatory commentary around rape and sexual assault.
The physiological response of an erection can be used by the perpetrator to humiliate and take advantage of the male while for a woman there isn't as obvious an indicator externally for sexual arousal. Body betrayal can happen to all where someone can be brought to a forced orgasm though, and the victim (along with outsiders) can confuse that for consent and pleasure which leads to disruption of biopsychosocial functioning.
Just finished it. What a great video. The conclusion that ultimately the trivilization of men being sexually assaulted undermines any sort of sexual assault anywhere is simple and something I totally agree with.
This stuff is insidious. The amount of current and former people associated with SNL that are involved with this stuff surprised me. We as a society just have to do better.
This stuff is insidious. The amount of current and former people associated with SNL that are involved with this stuff surprised me. We as a society just have to do better.
While that sounds terrible, I would still think that rape is almost always worse for females though because of the evolutionary hard-wired trauma of being potentially impregnated by the assaulter. Humiliation due to an unwanted erection and the psychological trauma that results can't possibly measure up to the feeling that somebody is forcing you to potentially carry their baby for the next 9 months, in the event that you actually survive the rape.
edit: Obviously, the point here is not to start a "pissing match" about who experiences more trauma, but this is a situation where I do think men can't realistically claim equal suffering, even while acknowledging the suffering is still traumatic and terrible.
I was raped by one woman and sexually assaulted by another that would have led to a rape if their brother and sister didn't come home when they did. Both were people I trusted. I have horrible trust issues as a result. Never told anyone because of this whole mentality of "lol men can't be sexually assaulted/raped". I've had someone tell me if the man got erect they really wanted it.
Dee literally rapes men and raped Charlie in Sunny
Has Dennis actually raped someone or was it always something just implied? He's creepy and manipulative but I dont recall him ever raping anyone
I imagine dennis raping someone would be too dark for even Sunny, so they used dee which they got away with it. Maybe my memory is bad
that said, Sunny gets a pass because the characters are meant to be horrific and they acknowledge that Dee did in fact rape men, even though she disagrees
Has Dennis actually raped someone or was it always something just implied? He's creepy and manipulative but I dont recall him ever raping anyone
I imagine dennis raping someone would be too dark for even Sunny, so they used dee which they got away with it. Maybe my memory is bad
that said, Sunny gets a pass because the characters are meant to be horrific and they acknowledge that Dee did in fact rape men, even though she disagrees
Yeah, and sadly it happens to people no matter their sex too regularly. Rape often ends relationships for the victims even if their partner wasn't the perpetrator... And to play that for laughs is just depressing.
I haven't seen most of the recent(!!!) examples, and I'm glad for it. Thoroughly disturbing.
That's kind of you to say, and you're more than welcome. :)
The show had long since jumped the shark by that point, but they keep finding new ways to do it, and boy that's a real low point.
Also similarly bad is the "death by snu snu" episode in Futurama.
Of course the risk of impregnation is a huge trauma, and like you said I don't want to imply men have it worse on trauma or there is equal suffering, but acknowledge there is a slight difference in elements involved and having different forms of trauma.
Does Dee receive any punishment, does she take any responsibility, exhibit any remorse? I'm not sure why Sunny should get a pass any more than something like Wedding Crashers.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope more videos like this and people discussing these things can make the world a place where you might feel more comfortable talking about it in the future.
I had a friend who got really drunk and high one night and woke up to a man performing fellatio on him. He's not gay. At his wedding his brother referred to it in such a way only certain people knew what he was talking about as a basis for a joke. It was grotesque. Ive never brought it up to my friend and I think I should.
I watched the Ed, Edd, n Eddy movie last year or so, and it felt weird to see it end with Eddy's brother getting his comeuppance by being forcefully dragged into his trailer by the Kanker sisters, presumably resulting in some kind of assault.
I don't know if death by snu snu is applicable here. They wanted sex. They just didn't want to die. Except for Kip, and they don't really belittle Kip for not wanting sex.
Dennis has never crossed that line though his behavior makes it seem like he's constantly on the verge of doing it. He was also raped way back in ep 1 and that was played for laughs.
It's not explicitly stated but it's clear Dennis is a serial rapist.
They showed that episode in the video in the OP. Pretty crazy... never saw that.
I mean, it reaches a point where they get exhausted and want to stop, "can't we just cuddle?" but get forced into continuing. That's pretty cleanly non-consensual.
Guess I need to rewatch it. I only remember the line like "the will is yearning but the body is breaking."
Holy shit at the never-ending barrage of example clips in the video. It's just shocking how absurdly common this trope was and still is.
because well..people don't care.at least that's how I feel as soon as that topic comes up. they either don't care or have worse thoughts.
First point, this is really dismissive of the sort of trauma women can go through and is a pretty shitty comment.
Second, sometimes a woman will orgasm while being raped, despite what a horrific situation for them it is, simply because its a biological response and not a mental one.
This goes far beyond just fictional pop culture instances as well; modern methods of sexual victimization data gathering have revealed that female perpetrators are far more common than previously thought.
Here is an overview study which goes into depth about this issue. To quote a few relevant sections regarding the research on the subject:
Here is an overview study which goes into depth about this issue. To quote a few relevant sections regarding the research on the subject:
Furthermore, the article goes into detail about women being assaulted/abused by other women, and how all victims of female perpetrators (both men and woman) are almost entirely ignored by society, even by organizations and support systems whose sole purpose is to help victims.
I figured it would run into the same issue of severe underreporting that happens when men assault women. I certainly never reported mine, and frankly as part of the whole stereotype/role expectations, as a teen kid I saw it as an ego boost, albeit an uncomfortable one. It was actually in watching the first part of this series that I even remembered those events and contextualized what they actually were.
Thanks for the link!
A lot of studies show underreporting is more significant for male victims than even female victims (for whom underreporting is already a massive problem). Part of why this happens is because men are significantly less likely to recognize the abuse they've suffered as abuse, despite still suffering the same physical and psychological impacts that any rape/abuse victim suffers.
To put it simply, society ignores and abuses and attacks women who are victims, yet even so generally society teaches that it is possible for women to be victims (even if society as a whole is horrible when it comes to believing/supporting/caring about women who are victimized). Whereas for men, society at large generally teaches that it is not possible for men to be victims of sexual abuse/assault, in addition to ignoring and abusing and attacking male victims just as female victims experience.
This is definitely starting to change, and things like intersectional feminism have really moved things forward for all victims.
Oh my bad the sex scene at the end. From the director
"It's designed to be funny and uncomfortable and beautiful and strange,"
From that article, the director says "And so there was something fun about dressing down this guy and kind of submitting him to this." That sounds kinda fucked up.
Changing gears, what is the classification of a counselor/therapist who reaches out/seduces/engages in sex shortly after the therapy relationship ended? Never been sure. I definitely consented, but it always felt really icky in hindsight, how it happened. Michigan, if that's relevant. The one guy I told back then gave me a high five.
User Banned (3 Months): Dismissing sexual assault with whataboutism; prior severe ban for racism
Tbh I would expect the number of assaults by deeply closeted jerks on openly gay men is way higher than any of this? I'm sure women on male assault happens outside of pop culture but it's got to be rare. Look at the Catholic Church. This video series seems to be the height of whataboutism to me. Yes it happens but ladies and the LGBTQ community have it orders of magnitude worse.
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Well, the research posted just above says that of male victims, 79% reported female aggressors.
I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "way higher than any of this", but you should try to find some articles or stats.
EDIT: that 79% referred to a subset, so we may be discussing different things. My apologies!
EDIT 2: you edited to make your post waaaaay worse? You're the one making it a weird competition or something. The video makes the point that laughing at this stuff is harmful for all victims of sexual abuse. It never says this is the worst, or the most. Just that it's a problem, which it is.
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Queer men are more at risk for sexual assault/abuse than straight men, but that's true of literally any queer person and gay men are an small subset of the male population. At least 20% of the entire Male population has been a victim of sexual abuse/rape, that's far more than the number of men that are queer by a significant margin.
You say "look at the Catholic church" as if that somehow runs counter to the argument that men (and women) are abused by women, meanwhile in the Catholic church nuns are responsible for tons of abuses of children, here are some relevant articles on the subject:
https://www.npr.org/2019/05/30/7221...nuns-want-greater-visibility-for-their-claims
Sexual abuse and assault are equally devastating for both male and female victims. No one is engaging in whataboutism here except you. Discussing the pain and trauma resulting from female perpetrated rape and abuse does nothing to harm women; rather, it give voice to both men and women who have been victimized by women.
Assault perpetrated by women against men and other women is not 'rare'. Nearly half (around 43%-48% depending on the victim survey) of male victims report a female perpetrator. Around 15% of female victims report a female perpetrator. Those are extremely conservative estimates too, given how significant underreporting of abuse is for both male and female victims.
This forum has many rape and abuse victims who were assaulted by women. Your comment here is absolutely disgusting and is essentially spitting in their faces. Please educate yourself before spreading your harmful BS further on this forum, which should be a safe space for victims.
More than one thing can be bad, we don't need to rank the badness of bad things.
you are basically saying that because other people have it worse its ok for this suffering to happen because it happens less.
That's incredibly coercive and unethical. A therapist can lose their license for that behavior. It's extremely predatory and you are justified in feeling weird about that happening to you. It's a clear abuse of power.
Stating "it happens less" when we are talking about the high rates of sexual abuse for both men and women is kind of missing the point. Yes, women are abused at higher rates than men, but the abuse rates are so high for both (20% for men, 25-30% for women) that constantly pointing that out seems really disingenuous and gross. Also gay men are often assaulted by women specifically because of their orientation (this is called corrective rape) so bringing up gay men being abused as if that is some gotcha against the idea that women perpetrate rape and abuse is just bizarre.