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SCENARIO: You and your significant other are held at gunpoint....
- Thread starter Deleted member 5865
- Start date
OP
OP
In any extreme situations people react differently, and I would never hold against them how they react in a life or death situation. When held at gunpoint I've run away (it always happened alone to me, I'd never leave anyone else alone in that situation), but I know people that freeze, again, I'd never hold against the person how they react to having a gun to their head because it sure sucks
It depends how big and strong my SO is, right?
If my SO is Thor or Captain Marvel and they run away, I will definitely have trust issues.Like, come on! Bullets can even SCRATCH you!
If my SO is Miles Vorkosigan (read Lois Mc Master Bujold if you haven't), I will totally understand if he bails, even if there are no guns. No need for him to get a bunch of broken bones for no reason.
A good follow up question is: What if your friend (not SO) bails on you with no guns involved, just a fistfight?
If my SO is Thor or Captain Marvel and they run away, I will definitely have trust issues.Like, come on! Bullets can even SCRATCH you!
If my SO is Miles Vorkosigan (read Lois Mc Master Bujold if you haven't), I will totally understand if he bails, even if there are no guns. No need for him to get a bunch of broken bones for no reason.
A good follow up question is: What if your friend (not SO) bails on you with no guns involved, just a fistfight?
My wife is well aware of "the brickyard protocol" in an event like this.
She makes it out and I....
She makes it out and I....
Staying together and forgiving.
On one hand, I've been robbed and wouldn't wish anyone who could avoid being in the situation to be in that situation. Busted my left ear in half during one of the two robberies I've been through -- thank goodness stitches only make it look like a scar.
On the other hand, I never chose my partner based on the fight response in a fight or flight situation. I'm genuinely good with either, whatever comes most natural. If flight, so be it -- I'm not a fight-only kind of person.
On one hand, I've been robbed and wouldn't wish anyone who could avoid being in the situation to be in that situation. Busted my left ear in half during one of the two robberies I've been through -- thank goodness stitches only make it look like a scar.
On the other hand, I never chose my partner based on the fight response in a fight or flight situation. I'm genuinely good with either, whatever comes most natural. If flight, so be it -- I'm not a fight-only kind of person.
Making sure she is safe would be my first priority in the first place. Now, if I ran, I 100 percent expect to be lonely, plus know I will be embarrassed for the rest of my life.
OP
OP
I would WANT my fiancée to escape safely, no reason for an excuse. I'd have to explain why I was so bad at escaping in comparison to her lmao
"Why did you run?"
"WHY DIDNT YOU???"
"Why did you run?"
"WHY DIDNT YOU???"
She did the right thing, nothing to 'forgive'; although I will 100% bring it up in the most socially inappropriate times possible going forward.
"Remember that time you left me to die?"
"Remember that time you left me to die?"
Given the gender roles that would happen in my situation, I'd imagine it's be expected of my SO to protect me. But I'd rather be hurt than anyone else so no, I wouldn't care.
Hm?
I think the vast majority would want their children to be safe first
There needs to be another poll option, "Stay together and what your S/O did wasn't wrong". I'd be thrilled they were able to escape unharmed, why would I want them to stick around and potentially get shot?
To the person with the gun:
"Weird way to meet my handler, but it's ok. Banks told me I'd meet you here. Let them go, the less they know the better. What do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about?! You just blew my cover! NSA, FBI and KFC are listening this conversation right now and you'll have to answer to Homeland Security for threatening a field agent. You're so fucked".
"Weird way to meet my handler, but it's ok. Banks told me I'd meet you here. Let them go, the less they know the better. What do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about?! You just blew my cover! NSA, FBI and KFC are listening this conversation right now and you'll have to answer to Homeland Security for threatening a field agent. You're so fucked".
I voted other. I'd want my wife to reposition to safety immediately. With or without me.
For me there's nothing to forgive.
For me there's nothing to forgive.
So you'd be unbothered by your SO running away from the situation (with no intention of finding help) and endangering both your lives in the process? Damn.
I was surprised seeing the poll options. My wife running off to safety is the best case scenario!
You may consider staying around as raising the odds of both getting shot while others may consider someone instantly running away from a gunman as raising the danger to the one left behind since losing control tends to make criminals more volatile/hostile.
OK, except in the scenario in the OP my S/O got away safe, I got away with my life and no permanent physical damage, so why would I be mad? It's pointless to think about hypotheticals in a situation like that.
Exactly, like this is exactly what a would like my wife to do. There'd be nothing to forgive just glad she's safe.
I could only agree if the significant other in that scenario had future knowledge that things would be fine, the act of leaving itself (and potentially making the situation more dangerous) is the thing you would be mad about regardless of outcome, same way you would be mad at them for example if they were speeding or ran a red light even if ''nothing happened''.
There's nothing wrong with a fight or flight reaction. This scenario needs a bit more to make it more of a moral decision. Like, after the robber leaves you go to see what happened to your partner and they are sitting down around the corner eating a happy meal, but they also bought you a shake.
I was writing my response for if the scenario had actually occurred and what my thoughts/feelings would be at that time, so in that case it's not hypothetical.
Um, running a red light is not only illegal but other than a small time save it benefits no one while actively endangering other people on the road. Escaping from danger is not even remotely the same thing. Again, we both ended up alive in this situation and my S/O did absolutely nothing wrong in this scenario. Heck, I'd be more frustrated if she stayed around when she had a chance to escape.
Edit: I think there is some disconnect here with responses because some people are imagining a clean getaway by the S/O while others are imagining the S/O running while still clearly in the LOS of the robber which would make a difference on how smart running would be, but in the end I'd still be happy they were safe and feel there was nothing to forgive (just maybe mention that running could have endangered them more than staying still).
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