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Your response?

  • Stay together but now they owe you BIG time

    Votes: 74 14.3%
  • Stay together and forgive of all sins

    Votes: 307 59.5%
  • Break up because of trust issues

    Votes: 83 16.1%
  • Other

    Votes: 52 10.1%

  • Total voters
    516

RecLib

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,365
We are weeks away from the reset era thread: "HELP I have cancer and my wife refuses to agree to die when I die. How can I make her see she's being selfish?"
 

Roxas

The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
3,551
Buenos Aires, Argentina
This idiot. This idiot right here.

Because you running could have gotten me killed.

Like, no judgement to anyone who wouldn't leave their SO, but I would hope running would not be something encouraged in a scenario even remotely like this.

Can't emphasize it enough. Maybe it was just how I was raised, but this scenario wouldn't even trigger my fight or flight instincts. It would trigger my "Freeze!" instincts.

In any extreme situations people react differently, and I would never hold against them how they react in a life or death situation. When held at gunpoint I've run away (it always happened alone to me, I'd never leave anyone else alone in that situation), but I know people that freeze, again, I'd never hold against the person how they react to having a gun to their head because it sure sucks
 

gozu

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,316
America
It depends how big and strong my SO is, right?

If my SO is Thor or Captain Marvel and they run away, I will definitely have trust issues.Like, come on! Bullets can even SCRATCH you!

If my SO is Miles Vorkosigan (read Lois Mc Master Bujold if you haven't), I will totally understand if he bails, even if there are no guns. No need for him to get a bunch of broken bones for no reason.

A good follow up question is: What if your friend (not SO) bails on you with no guns involved, just a fistfight?
 

SasaBassa

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,059
Definitely would be good with my wife running but she gives me the ultimate argument winner lmao ultra toxic
 

J_ToSaveTheDay

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
18,789
USA
Staying together and forgiving.

On one hand, I've been robbed and wouldn't wish anyone who could avoid being in the situation to be in that situation. Busted my left ear in half during one of the two robberies I've been through -- thank goodness stitches only make it look like a scar.

On the other hand, I never chose my partner based on the fight response in a fight or flight situation. I'm genuinely good with either, whatever comes most natural. If flight, so be it -- I'm not a fight-only kind of person.
 
OP
OP
Oct 25, 2017
3,122
Definitely would be good with my wife running but she gives me the ultimate argument winner lmao ultra toxic
giphy.gif
 

ScoobsJoestar

Member
May 30, 2019
4,071
I would WANT my fiancée to escape safely, no reason for an excuse. I'd have to explain why I was so bad at escaping in comparison to her lmao

"Why did you run?"

"WHY DIDNT YOU???"
 

slider

Member
Nov 10, 2020
2,712
I've always thought that generally speaking, people don't know how they're going to react to novel and stressful situations. So no issues at all.

I should have a search for any research on the topic I guess.
 

Kinketsu

Member
Nov 17, 2017
1,975
If I was being held at gunpoint, the absolute number one thing I would want is for my wife to safely escape no matter what so number two, even if she had to kick me into the guy as a distraction.
 

Ripcord

Member
Oct 30, 2017
1,777
Other: I'm glad she was able to get away and I'm glad the robber didn't kill me so I could meet back up with her later.
 

John Rabbit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,094
She did the right thing, nothing to 'forgive'; although I will 100% bring it up in the most socially inappropriate times possible going forward.

"Remember that time you left me to die?"
 

Fiction

Fanthropologist
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,728
Elf Tower, New Mexico
Given the gender roles that would happen in my situation, I'd imagine it's be expected of my SO to protect me. But I'd rather be hurt than anyone else so no, I wouldn't care.
 

Vyse

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,388
We need to see how much forgiveness people would have if the scenario involved their child instead of significant other, at the very least I would expect less ''fight or flight is a coin flip'' responses.
 

Rosebud

Two Pieces
Member
Apr 16, 2018
43,512
We need to see how much forgiveness people would have if the scenario involved their child instead of significant other, at the very least I would expect less ''fight or flight is a coin flip'' responses.

Hm?

I think the vast majority would want their children to be safe first
 

CHC

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
10,246
What's the point in starting a family if they're not willing to take a bullet for you? Sorry spouse, sorry kids
 

Shiloh

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,709
Having been robbed at gunpoint, we kinda just handed over our stuff, and hoped for the best. If they were able to get out of the situation that would not bother me at all.
 

mordecaii83

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
6,860
There needs to be another poll option, "Stay together and what your S/O did wasn't wrong". I'd be thrilled they were able to escape unharmed, why would I want them to stick around and potentially get shot?
 

AlexBasch

Member
Oct 27, 2017
7,307
To the person with the gun:
"Weird way to meet my handler, but it's ok. Banks told me I'd meet you here. Let them go, the less they know the better. What do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about?! You just blew my cover! NSA, FBI and KFC are listening this conversation right now and you'll have to answer to Homeland Security for threatening a field agent. You're so fucked".
 

Necromanti

Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,546
We are weeks away from the reset era thread: "HELP I have cancer and my wife refuses to agree to die when I die. How can I make her see she's being selfish?"
So you'd be unbothered by your SO running away from the situation (with no intention of finding help) and endangering both your lives in the process? Damn.
 

Parthenios

The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
13,605
I was surprised seeing the poll options. My wife running off to safety is the best case scenario!
 

Vyse

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,388
There needs to be another poll option, "Stay together and what your S/O did wasn't wrong". I'd be thrilled they were able to escape unharmed, why would I want them to stick around and potentially get shot?
You may consider staying around as raising the odds of both getting shot while others may consider someone instantly running away from a gunman as raising the danger to the one left behind since losing control tends to make criminals more volatile/hostile.
 

mordecaii83

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
6,860
You may consider staying around as raising the odds of both getting shot while others may consider someone instantly running away from a gunman as raising the danger to the one left behind since losing control tends to make criminals more volatile/hostile.
OK, except in the scenario in the OP my S/O got away safe, I got away with my life and no permanent physical damage, so why would I be mad? It's pointless to think about hypotheticals in a situation like that.
 

Vyse

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,388
OK, except in the scenario in the OP my S/O got away safe, I got away with my life and no permanent physical damage, so why would I be mad? It's pointless to think about hypotheticals in a situation like that.
I could only agree if the significant other in that scenario had future knowledge that things would be fine, the act of leaving itself (and potentially making the situation more dangerous) is the thing you would be mad about regardless of outcome, same way you would be mad at them for example if they were speeding or ran a red light even if ''nothing happened''.
 

never

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,835
I mean if I didn't like my SO and they were a ninja, I might be annoyed they didn't disarm the robber, but otherwise I'm pretty sure if you're ever in a situation where someone pulls a gun and doesn't point it at you, and you can run, you should.
 

darz1

Member
Dec 18, 2017
7,077
There's nothing wrong with a fight or flight reaction. This scenario needs a bit more to make it more of a moral decision. Like, after the robber leaves you go to see what happened to your partner and they are sitting down around the corner eating a happy meal, but they also bought you a shake.
 

mordecaii83

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
6,860
But the whole thing is a hypothetical!
I was writing my response for if the scenario had actually occurred and what my thoughts/feelings would be at that time, so in that case it's not hypothetical.
I could only agree if the significant other in that scenario had future knowledge that things would be fine, the act of leaving itself (and potentially making the situation more dangerous) is the thing you would be mad about regardless of outcome, same way you would be mad at them for example if they were speeding or ran a red light even if ''nothing happened''.
Um, running a red light is not only illegal but other than a small time save it benefits no one while actively endangering other people on the road. Escaping from danger is not even remotely the same thing. Again, we both ended up alive in this situation and my S/O did absolutely nothing wrong in this scenario. Heck, I'd be more frustrated if she stayed around when she had a chance to escape.

Edit: I think there is some disconnect here with responses because some people are imagining a clean getaway by the S/O while others are imagining the S/O running while still clearly in the LOS of the robber which would make a difference on how smart running would be, but in the end I'd still be happy they were safe and feel there was nothing to forgive (just maybe mention that running could have endangered them more than staying still).
 
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Surakian

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
10,822
Flight or fight instincts are very strong. I wouldn't be upset for them leaving me behind.