There will never be a queen with a luckier run on the show than Kandy Muse and i think part of the reason there is that dislike towards her (other than the way she comes across on the show and on her social media) is because of this. Right off the bat, episode one, she gets to lip sync against Joey Jay who by her own admission was a filler queen. Had she been paired up with anyone remotely good at lip syncing she could have kissed her entire "Winner's circle" storyline goodbye. Episode 2 and she is by far the worst in the challenge and had season 13 not started it's run with what seemed like 10 non elimination episodes then she would have been kicked off there and then, Dahlia Sin 2.0.
The 2nd time she does the worst she is in the bottom and has to lip sync against her rival, Tamisha. Despite the fact that Tamisha has more star quality in her left toe than Kandy has in her entirety she just about manages to beat a cancer survivor with an ostomy bag who's barely managed to walk again let alone perform a high octane lip sync, that and Kandy was given a song that couldn't be more tailored to her.
She lands in the bottom again against Symone, one of the undisputed breakout stars of the season and eventual winner. Kandy could have given the most spectacular lip sync of her life (and she didn't) but she would have gone home against Symone except... PLOT TWIST! It's yet another non elimination episode. And the only reason this episode was chosen as the non elimination was because the next episode was the makeover challenge that had to be changed due to Covid from the normal "bring in some random" to getting the queens to paint themselves which required there to be an even number of queens. Except... There were supposed to be 14 queens this season. One of them got kicked off before filming started due to Sherry Pie style shenanigans. So not only did Kandy luck out by being terrible in an episode were no one would leave (twice) there were multiple circumstances that all came together beautifully in order to keep her on the show.
At this point she does... fine. Until she busts out the
worst look in Drag Race history bar none and somehow doesn't immediately land in the bottom because of it, presumably because she has plot armour on at this point and Ru/production has decided she is "good TV". She then gets her one win. A roast challenge where the biggest laugh she gets is a stolen Lady Bunny joke which i know Ru has heard about a million times before, but honestly the roast was a trainwreck, no one was a standout so why not toss the win of the roast challenge to the queen with the biggest mouth, it couldn't be more obvious. When AI algorithms get so advanced that they can replace humans and write TV shows the roast episode is the kind of show that they will pump out automatically until the end of time when humanity has long gone and all that's left in the dying embers of our world are self powered machines impotently churning out TV that will never be seen.
Kandy is once again in the bottom for not performing well and for another hideous look but once again, Lady Luck has smiled upon her because the only queen she could have possibly beaten out of the ones left is also in the bottom and it just so happens that Olivia's storyline and time on the show has entirely run its course. Kandy then squeaks into the top 4 by a whisker and because the latter seasons of Drag Race insist on 4 queens making it to the finale so they can lip sync she gets an easy free ticket to the finale instead of how she would have been kicked off at this point back in the earlier seasons for a top 3 (because no way in hell was she gonna stay over Gottmik, Rose or Symone).
And now for the finale. At long last.
After the longest season ever that was so obnoxiously drawn out that a leaner, better, more exciting season of Drag Race aired in its entirety during season 13's run we finally reach the end. The nightmare will soon be over.
Whatever blood sacrifice Kandy made to earn her this streak of good luck carried on in the finale because the queen with the worst track record and by far the least amount of social media support gets to lip sync against Rose who apart from Bianca Del Rio has
the best track record on the show ever. Except... PLOT TWIST! Rose is recovering from a sprained ankle. And was obviously not at her best considering she full on fainted prior to lip syncing. Even with the obvious advantage of lip syncing against someone who is physically impaired for the second time in the season Kandy gives us the very definition of "Go girl, give us nothing" which on any other episode of drag race would have been worthy of a double elimination but she wins, because of course she does.
Obviously this is where her luck finally run out cause Symone was the rightful winner. But there's a part of me that kind of wishes Kandy had won. It would have been the most fitting end to the worst season of Drag Race ever produced since the first one was cheaply filmed on a Vaseline smeared lens for about $3000.
In conclusion, this season of Drag Race sucked so much shit that the toilet is jealous (Jinkx Monsoon™) and because Kandy suffers from a complete lack of self awareness all it takes is a cursory glance at her social media to realise that she totally buys into her own hype. She better hope and pray that when she gets cast on All Stars it's along with a bunch of queens that are scraping the bottom of the barrel cause there is no one else left otherwise she is in for a rude awakening.
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