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Nikus

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
10,370
What type of fucking contract did you sign?

Publishing contract for a book, the second one. (books about videogames series - I wrote in videogames magazines 12 years ago, now it's regular books)
I hadn't been paid the royalties for the first one yet when I signed the second. But I thought "ok... I know I won't earn much anyway, let's do another one"
But I honestly didn't expect to earn so little. I had zero expectations and I was still let down. Imagine 12 months of all-nighters, writing, stressing out, and you don't earn the equivalent of half a normal month salary.
And you realize it's too late, you've signed for a second one.
My publisher has started to translate some of the books through Kickstarter campaigns (from french to english) and told me at least twice that mine would be on the second batch. Well it isn't. I managed for a bit because I was hopeful for an english translation, that would at least double the almost nothingness I got. But nope.
And I had asked for a third book, one that could sell more and also really interested me. Like, it wouldn't have been as bad if I didn't earn money with this one because I felt I could do something special with it. I wanted to do it, regardless of what I would earn for once. And they said "okay, if you want to do it that would be cool, we'll talk about it". We didn't talk about it and someone else is doing it.

For weeks now I've tried to find a way to help them for their second Kickstarter campaign, I wanted to make a thread on ERA because you know, if I don't directly benefit from it, it's not against the rules. It was a bit weak of me to try to help anyway, but friends of mine wrote another book that I think deserve to be translated... And I figured that if they found continuous success, I had a chance to get translated one day too. But fuck it, I've lost hope and I shouldn't be helping.
 
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FUME5

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,421
Shit man, that's sounds terrible.

Do you own the rights yourself, as in, could you find a way to have it translated?

Anyway, if you're not getting paid and your publisher doesn't seem to want to help you, do a really shitty job and find a new publisher for your next effort?
 

Nikus

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
10,370
They have all the rights to tanslate it, and there's no other publisher for this type of books, it's reallly a niche market to begin with.
And yeah I thought "okay I'll do a shitty job, it'll be quick and painless". But I can't bring myself to do this. This one has a way higher chance to be translated and I know some people here could buy it because it's about a well loved series. I can't bring myself to rush it. It wouldn't be fair to people who would spend 30$ to read a good book (yeah they're expensive) but at the same time when I try to write something good I'm kinda overwhelmed by pure sadness and anxiety, so I'm kinda stuck right now. I need a few days to clear my thoughts I think. Empty my mind, focus and just do it, but it's easier said than done.
 

Nikus

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
10,370
Thank you. That's how it's been forever. I started when I was 18, I worked 90 hours a week and earned 300€/250$. Later it was 800€ a month and that was the peak.
Writing is one of the most shitty dream you can have but as someone who has almost zero self confidence, this is the only thing I know I'm good at... (in french anyway, don't judge my subpar english please:) )

I'm gonna take a few days off and just relax, I don't care if this puts me behind deadlines.
 

Hail Satan

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,171
Yeah there's just nothing else that motivates me. I'm gonna have to try a find a "real job" to help my wife with finances but to do that I first need to go see a therapist again because I'm a mess. It's time to forget about what I've wanted to do all my life. I really counted on that, moron that I am. Hadn't felt this bad since 2007, but I'm gonna ask for help before I enter a cycle of self-destruction. Last time I hit rock bottom I was single. I don't want to make my wife's life as miserable as mine so I'm gonna be reasonable.
Sorry for the rant here I just feared a rant/depression thread could turn into a backlash.
I'll come back with more positivity, hopefully. ResetEra is a good place to take my mind off of things.
edit: forgot to mention that by contract I have to work full time for a few months knowing that I won't earn anything. And that's depressing enough. Not the best thing for the ego.

Damn man, Im sorry to hear you're going through this right now. I really hope you feel better soon. Trying to find a real job doesn't mean you have to give up on your dreams though. Can always try and find time to work for your passions even if another job might take most of your time. Good luck!
 
Oct 27, 2017
12,319
They have all the rights to tanslate it, and there's no other publisher for this type of books, it's reallly a niche market to begin with.
And yeah I thought "okay I'll do a shitty job, it'll be quick and painless". But I can't bring myself to do this. This one has a way higher chance to be translated and I know some people here could buy it because it's about a well loved series. I can't bring myself to rush it. It wouldn't be fair to people who would spend 30$ to read a good book (yeah they're expensive) but at the same time when I try to write something good I'm kinda overwhelmed by pure sadness and anxiety, so I'm kinda stuck right now. I need a few days to clear my thoughts I think. Empty my mind, focus and just do it, but it's easier said than done.

That's how I feel about writing and doing any kind of art and even when I do empty my mind, when I draw, it seems kinda of pointless. Like there's no message
 

Nikus

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
10,370
That's how I feel about writing and doing any kind of art and even when I do empty my mind, when I draw, it seems kinda of pointless. Like there's no message
Yeah that's exactly it...
Though to be fair (to me :/) my book got great reviews, people seemed to like it a lot (the few that bought it), but when I look at it, I feel like someone else wrote it. My wife keeps getting mad at me because I tell her that I don't know how to write anything and now she just puts my book in front of my face and I'm like "that wasn't me, that was a person that is no longer here, a person better at this than I am".
I know that what I need to focus on is self confidence, and just enjoy the work for what it is, but god it's excruciating and the satisfaction I can eventually gain from it doesn't really make up for the suffering during the writing phase. I dreamt of having a book in libraries since I was 10 years old but I wanna cry everytime I see it because I just think "what a waste, you forfeited your life for this... and you can't even remember writing it".

Anyway thanks Hail Satan and FUME5 for the kind replies. I'm just kinda drunk and disappointed right now, I'll join this thread with a better mindset in the future :)
 
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Xavillin

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,028
Went to Uni this morning with my car all dent free. Come back this afternoon to see the front left (above the tires) scratched up. Person who scratched it didn't even leave a note. My car isn't even a month old yet. People fucking sucks sometimes. Now i'm thinking of not even driving to school anymore and just walking there.

At least the mechanic shop that my insurance company got for me called me an hour ago, and they'll fix it on Friday. But damn, this really fucking sucks.
 

FUME5

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,421
Don't sweat it, I always encourage the irresponsible consumption of alcohol.

EDIT

Fuck whoever scratched your car.
 

FaceHugger

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
13,949
USA
Went to Uni this morning with my car all dent free. Come back this afternoon to see the front left (above the tires) scratched up. Person who scratched it didn't even leave a note. My car isn't even a month old yet. People fucking sucks sometimes. Now i'm thinking of not even driving to school anymore and just walking there.

At least the mechanic shop that my insurance company got for me called me an hour ago, and they'll fix it on Friday. But damn, this really fucking sucks.

What really sucks is it may show up on the car report when you try to resale it as a repair. That happened to me with an old car that was likewise lightly damaged a few months after I bought it brand new. When I went to trade it in a few years later the dealer tried to give me $1000 less for it because of that. It was trivial to show them that it was merely scratching and light denting and not structural, but still a pain.
 
Oct 27, 2017
12,319
IMMA GONNA EAT THIS MASHED POTOTATOES AND GRAAAAVVVVYYYYYYY 4 DINNAH


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :0
 

DeeDogg

Banned
Oct 29, 2017
4,509
Florida
Anyone ever fly Frontier airlines before? I have a flight booked for Monday and never heard of this airliner. Just bought the ticket cause it was cheap
 
Oct 25, 2017
194
0kAk9QY.gif


This Russian election gif keeps fucking me up.
 

FUME5

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,421
Hey, you don't get to say that your dick smells like beef and then segue into talking about a movie.
 

FUME5

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,421
I do, it's a massive improvement over the original.

No fucking way am I paying $99.95 for SoT, Microsoft are insane to put it out at that price point for what it is.
 
Oct 27, 2017
12,319
Damn I really am thinking about pre ordering that SF Collection on Steam.

I really want that SF3 in my steam library but goddamn that no training mode. That's a killer