REgals [Women of Era] |OT| Episode I: The Female Menace

JRoth · Jan 26, 2018

Thanks for the insight everyone. It's empowering to know and understand where to cross the line in the sand.

I am the type of person who rarely talks about grey subjects on the internet as I don't want to inadvertently step on toes. So for this guy, I will keep him at arms length for now. And if he continues his behavior, I told him what those consequences would be.

sabrina · Jan 26, 2018

Dark3nergy said:
I am the type of person who rarely talks about grey subjects on the internet as I don't want to inadvertently step on toes. So for this guy, I will keep him at arms length for now. And if he continues his behavior, I told him what those consequences would be.

No, sometimes you need to step on toes.

There's a guy I met on GAF who used to call me Babe all the time and I put up with it because it was flattering and I didn't want to rock the boat. We and some other guys played games together a lot and I didn't see a need to jeopardize that. But after like eight months or a year of him doing it I confronted him. He said "it's just what I do" and I said no it's not, because I've never seen him call any of the other women in our group babe and he certainly didn't have pet names for any of the guys. Furthermore, he knew I was in a relationship and also I had explicitly told him several times that I would never date him.

He shrunk and didn't reply to me for almost an hour, but eventually he came back and apologized, and we both moved on from there. I guess I got lucky because he could have lashed out at me or not returned, but that would have been okay by me. If he was such a small person that he couldn't stay friends with me and treat me normally then I don't need that as a friend.

Professor Beef · Jan 26, 2018

HyperFerret said:
Dark3nergy
Pet names are the worst, I can't stand them either. The only guy who got away with calling me one was a coworker who always referred to me as "Dude" but that one I actually liked heh. Mostly because I called him Dude back and it was a equal level of dude-ness.

... not sure if dude really counts as a pet name though since everything can be dude. :P

JRoth · Jan 26, 2018

sabrina said:
No, sometimes you need to step on toes.

There's a guy I met on GAF who used to call me Babe all the time and I put up with it because it was flattering and I didn't want to rock the boat. We and some other guys played games together a lot and I didn't see a need to jeopardize that. But after like eight months or a year of him doing it I confronted him. He said "it's just what I do" and I said no it's not, because I've never seen him call any of the other women in our group babe and he certainly didn't have pet names for any of the guys. Furthermore, he knew I was in a relationship and also I had explicitly told him several times that I would never date him.

He shrunk and didn't reply to me for almost an hour, but eventually he came back and apologized, and we both moved on from there. I guess I got lucky because he could have lashed out at me or not returned, but that would have been okay by me. If he was such a small person that he couldn't stay friends with me and treat me normally then I don't need that as a friend.

You are right. All good points. I will think about the points you mentioned for sure.

kaytee · Jan 31, 2018

So I hate tampons (they make me mildly dizzy) and never wear them but decided to try one out today since my flow was a little heavier than normal. I take out the box of tampons I haven't used in probably two years, put one in, press the plunger on the applicator, take it out, and... the tampon came out with it. I was confused but just threw that one out thinking it was maybe a dud and tried another. Same thing.

I'm sitting there wondering if tampons can expire or something (ok, girl...) when I look over at the picture on the back of the box and remember I have to prep the freaking applicator.

I feel like a thirteen year old lol.

weemadarthur · Jan 31, 2018

Lol special training is needed for so many things.

sabrina · Jan 31, 2018

I was at my favorite theater last night and in the bathroom the tampon dispenser was still charging three quarters for a tampon. And it had the gall to be like "For your convenience!" emblazoned on it. I got a kick out of that.

Linkura · Jan 31, 2018

I hate tampons as well. Last time I tried them, they hurt so much going in, I never even got them in. So yeah, never doing tampons again.

kaytee · Jan 31, 2018

Every few years I decide to try, I hate it, and then I put them away and don't touch them until a few years later, I'm like "but what if..."

Morrigan · Jan 31, 2018

I have never used a tampon in my life... >_>

Linkura · Jan 31, 2018

After the last try, I just tossed them all.

Morrigan said:
I have never used a tampon in my life... >_>

Don't start. They're terrible.

kaytee · Jan 31, 2018

Honestly, I think the problem is that I have a light flow that's almost more like spotting after the first day or two, so it's not heavy enough for most tampons to be comfortable. I got some period panties last week, so I'm going to try and see if I can lounge around in them later. I just want to be able to lie back on the couch without worrying about leaking...

Asukui · Jan 31, 2018

I have the opposite problem I guess. My flow is so heavy the first 2-3 days the few times I've gone without tampons has been incredibly uncomfortable. I don't like being wet/squishy down there ever and once I got the hang of tampons I guess putting them in hasn't been an issue. Also I swear I nearly get a UTI every time I go without too.

Pet · Jan 31, 2018

Some tampons hurt more than others, but after this many years, I think I mastered the technique.

I personally use two fingers to spread my vaginal opening a little bit, then push in the applicator all the way to the end and push. I then nudge it in a little more if I have to, pull out the applicator, and wipe.

Asukui · Jan 31, 2018

Mhmm, true. I think Tampax Pearl (or whatever) were my gateway ones to being comfortable, lol. Slim and plastic. Fuck paper applicators.

Yeah, press the plunger as far as it will go, then use the applicator to nudge the tampon itself a little farther in.

Her Hero Is Gone · Jan 31, 2018

I switched to using cups like... 14 years ago and I have never looked back. It has been so freeing and besides the benefit of not creating as much trash, it reduced the length of my periods from 7 days to 3-4 days. Yeah, I don't know why either, it might be due to the suction effect getting it over with more quickly.

I always found using pads gross feeling. For tampons, the OB type were reasonably comfortable for me, but all other brands were really unpleasant.

Asukui · Jan 31, 2018

I've tried cups a few times (my mother loves them) but I don't like the sensation of it dragging against my pelvic bone on the way in and out. Weirds me out xD

sabrina · Jan 31, 2018

Her Hero Is Gone said:
I switched to using cups like... 14 years ago and I have never looked back. It has been so freeing and besides the benefit of not creating as much trash, it reduced the length of my periods from 7 days to 3-4 days. Yeah, I don't know why either, it might be due to the suction effect getting it over with more quickly.

I always found using pads gross feeling. For tampons, the OB type were reasonably comfortable for me, but all other brands were really unpleasant.

Same here. I've found the Lunette brand works best for my needs.

Her Hero Is Gone · Jan 31, 2018

Asukui said:
I've tried cups a few times (my mother loves them) but I don't like the sensation of it dragging against my pelvic bone on the way in and out. Weirds me out xD

Yeah I can totally see how it is not something that would work for every woman, but it totally changed the game for me. I was one of those people who just could never forget they were on their period for the entire duration and just felt really ick about it. Now it's like, "Oh yeah, that's happening - huh." only every now and then.

Asukui · Jan 31, 2018

Her Hero Is Gone said:
Yeah I can totally see how it is not something that would work for every woman, but it totally changed the game for me. I was one of those people who just could never forget they were on their period for the entire duration and just felt really ick about it. Now it's like, "Oh yeah, that's happening - huh." only every now and then.

That's definitely a nice feeling, haha. I'm lucky that my period only really bothers me (and oh boy does it bother me) for 3ish days anyway, even if it does last for 5-6 usually the last few days are basically negligible.

Her Hero Is Gone · Jan 31, 2018

sabrina said:
Same here. I've found the Lunette brand works best for my needs.

I haven't tried Lunette, maybe I will try it when I am due to replace it in a few months. The brand on drugstore shelves around here is the diva cup, so I have just been picking that up out of convenience.

sabrina · Jan 31, 2018

Her Hero Is Gone said:
I haven't tried Lunette, maybe I will try it when I am due to replace it in a few months. The brand I on drugstore shelves around here is the diva cup, so I have just been picking that up out of convenience.

Yeah, I think the diva cup is more popular for exactly this reason. It's on shelves and it's cheaper and it works!

kaytee · Feb 1, 2018

Going in to get my first tattoo today! I'm really excited, which is good because I have a feeling I'll get nervous later. Not really too apprehensive about the pain (I'm getting it in a spot that seems relatively easy anyway), but waiting for the pain to first hit is always what gets me...

Pet · Feb 1, 2018

kaytee said:
Going in to get my first tattoo today! I'm really excited, which is good because I have a feeling I'll get nervous later. Not really too apprehensive about the pain (I'm getting it in a spot that seems relatively easy anyway), but waiting for the pain to first hit is always what gets me...

Where are you getting it? I have one and it didn't hurt at all (it was on my upper back.)

Her Hero Is Gone · Feb 1, 2018

sabrina said:
Yeah, I think the diva cup is more popular for exactly this reason. It's on shelves and it's cheaper and it works!

Looking at the Lunette it seems like it would address the very occasional issues I have using a cup (it's shorter and more flexible materials) so I'm totally getting one. Thanks for mentioning it.

sabrina · Feb 1, 2018

kaytee said:
Going in to get my first tattoo today! I'm really excited, which is good because I have a feeling I'll get nervous later. Not really too apprehensive about the pain (I'm getting it in a spot that seems relatively easy anyway), but waiting for the pain to first hit is always what gets me...

Aww, I'm jealous. The first time is such a huge experience. What are you getting, if you don't mind?

I have three and I kinda want to get another.

Her Hero Is Gone said:
Looking at the Lunette it seems like it would address the very occasional issues I have using a cup (it's shorter and more flexible materials) so I'm totally getting one. Thanks for mentioning it.

Oh good!! :)

Deleted member 511 · Feb 1, 2018

*shows up 15 minutes late with Starbucks*

TAMPONS SUCK. Okay not really but I hate how some people will make you feel like you're not an 'adult' if you don't use them. No one is taking my box of Always Radiant from me. No one!!!

kaytee said:
Going in to get my first tattoo today! I'm really excited, which is good because I have a feeling I'll get nervous later. Not really too apprehensive about the pain (I'm getting it in a spot that seems relatively easy anyway), but waiting for the pain to first hit is always what gets me...

Ooooh congrats!! I think 2018 will finally be the year I get my tattoo too.

kaytee · Feb 1, 2018

Pet said:
Where are you getting it? I have one and it didn't hurt at all (it was on my upper back.)

I'm getting it on my hip :) Waiting in the tattoo parlor right now.

sabrina said:
Aww, I'm jealous. The first time is such a huge experience. What are you getting, if you don't mind?

A crescent moon and some flowers to represent song lyrics I love.

yunbuns said:
Ooooh congrats!! I think 2018 will finally be the year I get my tattoo too.

Thanks!

ShyMel · Feb 2, 2018

Never used tampons but I switched to the Diva Cup last year and I love it.

Her Hero Is Gone · Feb 2, 2018

I always I want to evangelize to women about trying a cup, but like... it comes off weird. It's such a huge QoL improvement though. If a person with a vag is really lucky and they only have a 3 day period on a 28 day cycle, that's still more than 10% of their life from menarche to menopause - it's worth a shot to try to optimize all that time.

I was lucky enough to get a Keeper when I was in my 20s. It was a total revelation that I could feel clean and comfy and basically not even think about it anymore beyond the heavy first day. I can sleep naked with no worries. Less cramps, shorter periods, no gross garbage to deal with, less frequent headaches, and I actually do forget I'm on my period. I feel sad when I hear about people only discovering it works well for them later in life.

Linkura · Feb 2, 2018

Man, I'm going to have to try one of these cups.

Lunette is basically the favorite, right? Will take other recs too.

Deleted member 5086 · Feb 2, 2018

Morrigan said:
I have never used a tampon in my life... >_>

Same haha. Interested in trying out cups, though.

Morrigan · Feb 2, 2018

I tried cups for a few years. I liked them, but... I dunno, at some point they seemed to get kinda leaky, so I've reverted to pads for the time being. >.>

HyperFerret · Feb 2, 2018

Never tried a cup but I am interested. The initial "installation" seems really weird to me though, just... stick it up in there until it seals xD

Her Hero Is Gone · Feb 2, 2018

If the issue with a tampon is painful insertion, I don't know if inserting a cup would be much better - you've still got to get it in there. I guess it depends on why the tampon is painful. For me, I'd feel raw, dried out and crampy using them, but insertion was ok.

As for cups, I have only tried two kinds. I used a Keeper for 10 years - the old-school cup that all the 90s punk girls used. I replaced that with the Diva Cup for the improved materials (medical grade silicone instead of rubber). Both worked great for me. It can take a bit to get the hang of it, and some points in dex, but the payoff could be huge. I get that it's a risk though; you can't exactly return it if it doesn't work out. And amazon reviews can only take you so far in knowing whether something is going to work well in your business.

kaytee · Feb 2, 2018

In college I stood outside the bathroom stall for moral support while one of my friends tried getting her cup in for the first time. People were coming in to brush their teeth or whatever, and she kept shrieking and scaring them. She got it in eventually though, and she's definitely an evangelist. She's always trying to get me to switch. I don't think I can handle it, but I am working on switching to cloth pads and period underwear for environmental reasons.

Tattoo-getting went well yesterday!

I took this this morning after the redness went down. It really didn't hurt that much (a little more when she went over a bone, obviously), and I got used to it after a while. The hardest part was that I had to lay on my side for a few hours. Oof. My muscles are all stiff and sore. I'm really happy with it, though. It's amazing what she did with the crappy little sketch I sent her.

sabrina · Feb 2, 2018

Holy shit, that's so pretty! I really really love the color of the moon. I'm jealous :S

Nilou · Feb 2, 2018

kaytee That's so pretty! Love how it turned out! Jealous of all of you who get tattoo's, I'm terrified of needles and have such a low pain tolerance I don't think I ever could manage to get one >_<

Angie · Feb 3, 2018

QueenVulpix said:
kaytee That's so pretty! Love how it turned out! Jealous of all of you who get tattoo's, I'm terrified of needles and have such a low pain tolerance I don't think I ever could manage to get one >_<

I'm the same, and somehow I managed to have 2 now lol

kaytee said:
In college I stood outside the bathroom stall for moral support while one of my friends tried getting her cup in for the first time. People were coming in to brush their teeth or whatever, and she kept shrieking and scaring them. She got it in eventually though, and she's definitely an evangelist. She's always trying to get me to switch. I don't think I can handle it, but I am working on switching to cloth pads and period underwear for environmental reasons.

Tattoo-getting went well yesterday!

I took this this morning after the redness went down. It really didn't hurt that much (a little more when she went over a bone, obviously), and I got used to it after a while. The hardest part was that I had to lay on my side for a few hours. Oof. My muscles are all stiff and sore. I'm really happy with it, though. It's amazing what she did with the crappy little sketch I sent her.

That looks amazing :D

Pirate Bae · Feb 3, 2018

kaytee said:
In college I stood outside the bathroom stall for moral support while one of my friends tried getting her cup in for the first time. People were coming in to brush their teeth or whatever, and she kept shrieking and scaring them. She got it in eventually though, and she's definitely an evangelist. She's always trying to get me to switch. I don't think I can handle it, but I am working on switching to cloth pads and period underwear for environmental reasons.

Tattoo-getting went well yesterday!

I took this this morning after the redness went down. It really didn't hurt that much (a little more when she went over a bone, obviously), and I got used to it after a while. The hardest part was that I had to lay on my side for a few hours. Oof. My muscles are all stiff and sore. I'm really happy with it, though. It's amazing what she did with the crappy little sketch I sent her.

Awwwww yeah, that's awesome!!

I got one done a few days ago, so I understand the pain thing, lol. I posted it elsewhere but I'm really excited to share it with people so sorry I'm posting it again.

kaytee · Feb 3, 2018

Thank you, everyone :) It was definitely a good experience.

Pirate Bae said:
I got one done a few days ago, so I understand the pain thing, lol. I posted it elsewhere but I'm really excited to share it with people so sorry I'm posting it again.

Loooooove it!

RpgN · Feb 3, 2018

I would never put tattoo on my body, but I gotta say...yours and Pirate Bae are gorgeous. Thank you for sharing.

Nilou · Feb 3, 2018

Angie22 said:
I'm the same, and somehow I managed to have 2 now lol

That looks amazing :D

Where did you get them if it's okay for me to ask? Maybe one day if I have more money but I'm a huge baby bleh >_<

Angie · Feb 3, 2018

QueenVulpix said:
Where did you get them if it's okay for me to ask? Maybe one day if I have more money but I'm a huge baby bleh >_<

I made a tribal on my thigh, and a name on my arm. Does not hurt as much you might think, you just need no to be nervous. If you go thinking it will hurt, then it will really hurt lol

Pirate Bae · Feb 3, 2018

We'll be adding some other pieces next session and then like 1-2 more sessions for color

He specializes in watercolor so I think it's going to look amazing

Nilou · Feb 3, 2018

Angie22 said:
I made a tribal on my thigh, and a name on my arm. Does not hurt as much you might think, you just need no to be nervous. If you go thinking it will hurt, then it will really hurt lol

Oh neat! Yeah that's a huge problem for me, when I don't know how something is going to feel (with needles especially) I tend to tense up and get nervous and just end up making things worse haha. One day though, maybe sometime next year.

sabrina · Feb 3, 2018

My first tattoo hurt a lot but the pain is temporary. An hour of mild agony in trade for something I get to love for untold years? Sign me up!

Pirate Bae · Feb 3, 2018

This outline took 2 hours but it was cool! We chatted a bit.

Probably have about 6 more to go, haha

Deleted member 5086 · Feb 3, 2018

Both of those tattoos look amazing, wow.

Suede · Feb 3, 2018

Nice one on the tattoos, ladies.

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