-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
REgals [Women of Era] |OT| Episode I: The Female Menace
- Thread starter weemadarthur
- Start date
- OT
We need this thread to be bumped constantly so guyera learns more about the fairier sex and not be shitlords?????
OP
OP
No, the purpose of this thread is for women to talk amongst themselves when they wish to, not to educate men.
I have PCOS, so yes. :( If you have fair skin and dark hair, I recommend IPL! It reduces all that constant tweezing. But unfortunately it doesn't work on fair hair, and it can burn darker skin tones, so that's kind of limiting.
Yup... Had to stop listening half way through because it's all so real and was stressing me out lol.
For proof look no further than the recent makeup thread on here where a bunch of men give their opinion.
I like making myself look pretty but I am under no delusion that I do this exclusively for myself. We don't exist in a vacuum and part of it is that I adhere to beauty standards and what society at large deems as conventionally attractive. People are nicer to me if I am done up.
I like making myself look pretty but I am under no delusion that I do this exclusively for myself. We don't exist in a vacuum and part of it is that I adhere to beauty standards and what society at large deems as conventionally attractive. People are nicer to me if I am done up.
Last time I put on a full face of makeup, I stayed home the entire day, and exclusively did it because I was on my period, feeling bloated, gross & uncomfortable, my digestive system acting up, my skin breaking up, so I did it to cope with it all and boost myself. I rarely put full face of makeup, I usually just stick to the eyebrow brush/eyeliner/mascara combo and be done with it, and half the time, I don't even put makeup at all cause I like my face natural (and ironically, when I started to put on makeup when I was around 23, that's when I finally started to also enjoy my bare face and see how pretty some of my features can be, it helped with self-esteem overall, regardless of me wearing makeup or not). I feel like I mostly have a healthy relationship to it, and treat it as a fun thing to do when I want to, but that I'm in no way obligated to perform if I don't feel like it. I'm equally at ease going out with a full face of makeup, than barefaced. But society do tend to prefer me with makeup, especially if I have to be professional in a way that makes me interact with people.
I know makeup doesn't exist in a vacuum, but truly, there are plenty of times I just wear it for myself, although those beauty standards are indeed influencing me, I'm not immune to those, nobody is. It's a weird and tricky relationship.
I know makeup doesn't exist in a vacuum, but truly, there are plenty of times I just wear it for myself, although those beauty standards are indeed influencing me, I'm not immune to those, nobody is. It's a weird and tricky relationship.
Last edited:
I absolutely wear it for myself but part of it is because, yes, people are nicer, take me more seriously, etc and that makes my life easier.
I don't even wear makeup to work. What's the point? I'm in a committed relationship and I don't need to impress these idiots.
Um guys I need advice. A classmate of mine (I'm not going to call her my friend as she's routinely problematic and insensitive, so let's just leave it at acquaintance) lost and is continuing to lose a lot of weight. She has been yo-yo dieting like crazy the past year with multiple vegan diets, the most extreme being raw, whole, food, veganism. She's also repeatedly told me I need to lose weight (I'm 5'5 and 120 pounds) and am lucky to need a nose job for to hellish sleep apnea and allergie problems due to excess cartilage. She's a minor instagram influencer and uses fillers and and a whole other stuff to modify her body, so her "job" (she doesn't get paid for this shit just gets the weekly goody bag from a sponsor) involves her changing her looks alot.
Her dieting has led to scary results and I don't know how to approach the subject that she's slowly killing her body. How do I approach this?
Her dieting has led to scary results and I don't know how to approach the subject that she's slowly killing her body. How do I approach this?
I have plenty of makeup but I pretty much rarely use it. No point wearing it for work as it's too much effort and customers don't come to a bookstore to see me. Plus I'm single so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Glad I didn't click on that makeup thread here as it seems I dodged a lot of aggravation from reading it.
Glad I didn't click on that makeup thread here as it seems I dodged a lot of aggravation from reading it.
Hidden content
Wow, that's some bullshit.
But, well, I unfortunately have no advice for you. This girl's mind is thoroughly warped and she likely needs professional help IMO. Since she's an acquaintance and not a friend, she might not listen to you if you talk to her about this, right? Is there a friend of hers that you think might help and towards whom she'd be receptive to?
I honestly don't think she has other friends, she's considered irritating by our law class. The only other girl I can think of that could possibly be her friend is too sheepish to bring it up and an enabler.
In general I don't wear makeup. Like, I'm such an infrequent user of makeup that i would say I'm really bad at it. But sometimes, i just can't help myself.
I also rarely use make-up. Usually it's just some lipstick and eyeliner on the side. I would like to learn more and do enjoy watching some make-up videos though 😳
I think I would like the idea of knowing exactly what effects certain make-up brings and being able to use make-up professionally but very little. Basically I would like to control how it looks on my face. It sucks not knowing how it all works😣 I try once in a while but really suck at it.
I think I would like the idea of knowing exactly what effects certain make-up brings and being able to use make-up professionally but very little. Basically I would like to control how it looks on my face. It sucks not knowing how it all works😣 I try once in a while but really suck at it.
Maybe just try to bring it up casually? "Hey I'm worried about you"
I've been thinking about leaving resetera. I really can't stand the boys club weekend era where thread titles assume everyone on here is a dude or talks about women as if we are topics of discussions, not active participants. Was it always this bad or have I become sensitized? It might be the latter. Idk I guess I've been feeling isolated in a lot of aspects in my life.
I want to share my recent experience:
I'm a horror filmmaker and did a proof of concept trailer that has garnered attention and potential funding. I created the story, shot half of it, cut it, and did all post work on it. Worked on the story with a writer. A team started to assemble around me and the scriptwriter. Read the script last week which is totally different from the trailer I made. Oh and found out that a dude director who's not even into horror movies, nor has he ever directed a movie is being brought in to direct. And since I stood in as the lead for the trailer, suddenly I'm slated as an actor because they like my "look" even though I have zero desire to be an actor. Suddenly I have no creative role in a project I spearheaded. It happened pretty quickly with everyone assuming the screenwriter, man, is in charge. Ah to be a woman. But Hollywood is really hard for men right now and women have all the opportunities...
Sorry for the rant. Just really feeling excluded. That video hit hard.
I want to share my recent experience:
I'm a horror filmmaker and did a proof of concept trailer that has garnered attention and potential funding. I created the story, shot half of it, cut it, and did all post work on it. Worked on the story with a writer. A team started to assemble around me and the scriptwriter. Read the script last week which is totally different from the trailer I made. Oh and found out that a dude director who's not even into horror movies, nor has he ever directed a movie is being brought in to direct. And since I stood in as the lead for the trailer, suddenly I'm slated as an actor because they like my "look" even though I have zero desire to be an actor. Suddenly I have no creative role in a project I spearheaded. It happened pretty quickly with everyone assuming the screenwriter, man, is in charge. Ah to be a woman. But Hollywood is really hard for men right now and women have all the opportunities...
Sorry for the rant. Just really feeling excluded. That video hit hard.
I'm really sorry you feel that way. We're aware of the "boys club" shit and we're not going to tolerate it, going forward. As a woman myself it pisses me off too.
Would you like to see anything specific changed? We're always open to ideas, as well.
Also I'm really sorry to hear about your job :(. That's really fucking shitty and I totally know how that feels.
That's an infuriating experience and I'm sorry this is happening to you.
As for the first part of your post... we're trying, is all I can say, but I feel you completely. Make sure you report posts to that effect.
Fake edit: welp beaten, just echoing Pirate Bae's words here lol
I've been lurking in this thread for a while, but your comments on weekend era are so spot on. Some posts are just random and that I don't mind. This place could use some levity. It's the rest that just bring me down. I don't think it was always this bad, but lots of really good posters have left or only check in sporadically.
Really sorry about your work situation. :-/
I only wear foundation for work. I have a decent amount of make up that I only wear to mainly perk myself up and wear out to dinner with my bf.
I would love not to wear foundation at all but I do it because every morning i have to shave my lower face because I have a beard and i cant afford laser treatment. I'm also scared to do it because I've heard it could actually make it worse.
I would love not to wear foundation at all but I do it because every morning i have to shave my lower face because I have a beard and i cant afford laser treatment. I'm also scared to do it because I've heard it could actually make it worse.
The "everyone is a dude, right?" threads have kinda bothered me, too. I have often thought about making just one "everyone is a woman, right?" thread but I can't think of what kind of question I'd even ask in it that wouldn't just be trolling, and I'm not a troll, so... :/
I wear makeup so rarely that I've basically never worn makeup that my mom hasn't helped me apply (note, I'm 32). I guess I've put on lipstick by myself before? I'm positive that it would be a disaster if I had to put it on without adult supervision, lol.
But kind-of from an early age I developed this attitude of, "well, the guys don't have to do it, why should I?" and I haven't totally lost that opinion. Compounded with always going to bed a bit too late and wanting to stay in bed as long as possible the following morning, it puts me in an "ain't nobody got time for that" situation in the morning so I still don't bother. >.<
I wear makeup so rarely that I've basically never worn makeup that my mom hasn't helped me apply (note, I'm 32). I guess I've put on lipstick by myself before? I'm positive that it would be a disaster if I had to put it on without adult supervision, lol.
But kind-of from an early age I developed this attitude of, "well, the guys don't have to do it, why should I?" and I haven't totally lost that opinion. Compounded with always going to bed a bit too late and wanting to stay in bed as long as possible the following morning, it puts me in an "ain't nobody got time for that" situation in the morning so I still don't bother. >.<
Fistly, huge thank you to yourself and Morrigan for all the work you do and for responding so quickly. Part of the problem is that it's not always clear on how to address these forms of exclusion without backlash or feeling like I'm being hypersensitive, because I'm not even sure why "Do you pee sitting down?" threads piss me off so much, much less the makeup thread. For me I think it's just the assumption everyone is a dude and that we don't need to be addressed in the question. Hi, I exist. Ideally, it would be simple fix. What comes to mind is maybe something like if you're only addressing a subpopulation to have it in the title, "For those of you with dongs, do you pee sitting down?" Idk. I'm not sure how to approach it. Sucks that the onus is on us instead of a group of dudes sitting around asking "how can we be better about x,y,z,"- I know the moderators absolutely do this and are always looking for feedback, I mean other members.
I guess I also feel tired of fighting sometimes. Maybe I'll just stick to here for a while since I actually feel supported. Thank you to everyone who responded.
I'm trying not to cry at work. Guess they're keeping me on as a bs advisory/producer role to make themselves feel better. I'm considering just peacing out of the project. This has happened before. What sucks is that there are a lot of grants for women filmmakers, but almost all of them require that it be about social issues or women's issues. "We want to give women a chance to tell their stories as long as they are stories that we want told." Not a lot of funding for women who want to shoot a fucked up gruesome horror film. It's unladylike.
"How many days does your period generally last?"
We'd likely have people grossed out by the title alone.
I almost made a thread about menstrual cups this weekend to counter the make-up and pubic hair threads filled with male opinions.
I am pleased as punch that I finally found one that does not feel uncomfortable and is suitable for strong pelvic floor muscles.
I've tried a total of six cups before and always went back to tampons.
Then we end up with male posters using their girlfriends as shields to come into the topic to tell us all about our periods. :p
Cups became a thing after I already had a hysterectomy so I never did try them. I didn't really like tampons (my flow was too heavy anyhow) so I likely wouldn't have liked them but I am so happy there are better options available now.
I can't believe how things went downhill for you. It's kind of hard to imagine it can happen since I haven't experienced this myself nor have I seen it happen with others. What kind of treatment is that?! I'm sorry that you're going through this :(
It would be a shame to leave Era though. It would make us less in numbers and make those type of threads louder.
Btw, I know what kind of threads you're talking about but are there some recent shitty threads? I haven't really been paying attention besides the gaming side.
Yup, the colours looking different on my skin is very relatable.
Thank you so much for giving some suggestions. I'll be giving them a look.
Agreed with Pirate and Morrigan. Please do not hesitate to utilize that report button. We are here for you.
And I really hope things get better with your movie.
Reeks Fwiw I'd be really sad if you left. :( *hugs* It always saddens me when I look through this thread and see members who have either left the forum entirely or become very inactive.
I'm not a day 1 staff member like Morrigan (joined like 3 months in), but as sad as it is to say, things used to be even worse here. I remember when female staff would get mass trolled (I mean genuine coordinated trolling from discords) by men just for trying to curtail blatant boys club behaviour on gaming side, for example. We were even polite about it. I'd like to (perhaps naively) believe that we're past that point now.
There's still so much more progress that needs to be made though, so I understand... especially as this stuff wears on you over time. Even if things are marginally better than they used to be, you've already been worn down by all the bullshit, and that can't be magically undone. And like I said, there's still so much progress to be done. So I get it. I seem to have missed a couple of threads (been on a short break from moderation for my mental health), but if there's more we can be doing, please let us know. And feel free to use this thread as your safe haven when need be. ❤
I'm not a day 1 staff member like Morrigan (joined like 3 months in), but as sad as it is to say, things used to be even worse here. I remember when female staff would get mass trolled (I mean genuine coordinated trolling from discords) by men just for trying to curtail blatant boys club behaviour on gaming side, for example. We were even polite about it. I'd like to (perhaps naively) believe that we're past that point now.
There's still so much more progress that needs to be made though, so I understand... especially as this stuff wears on you over time. Even if things are marginally better than they used to be, you've already been worn down by all the bullshit, and that can't be magically undone. And like I said, there's still so much progress to be done. So I get it. I seem to have missed a couple of threads (been on a short break from moderation for my mental health), but if there's more we can be doing, please let us know. And feel free to use this thread as your safe haven when need be. ❤
Those very obviously male-focused threads are always so eyerolly, and often make me wanna leave cheeky comments but I'm just too shy for sass lol. It wouldn't be so bad if they prefaced them with something like, 'Guys of ERA...' or whatnot. At least that way it wouldn't be that they're ignoring our existence, just looking for focused input from fellow men. But we all know that's way more consideration and effort than most dudes are ever gonna wanna bother with.
And in regards to makeup, I feel... complicated about it. I don't wear it majority of the time cuz, honestly, I'm just too damn lazy to bother with it when all I'm doing is going to the store lol, but I admit I feel like a troll without it. I enjoy the rare instances where I go all out with it and can make myself look real nice, but I hate that I feel like I have to wear at least a minimal amount of the stuff to look decent/acceptable/human by societal beauty standards.
I have specifically been avoiding that makeup thread cuz I have a very strong feeling it's just gonna end up pissing me off somehow lol.
And in regards to makeup, I feel... complicated about it. I don't wear it majority of the time cuz, honestly, I'm just too damn lazy to bother with it when all I'm doing is going to the store lol, but I admit I feel like a troll without it. I enjoy the rare instances where I go all out with it and can make myself look real nice, but I hate that I feel like I have to wear at least a minimal amount of the stuff to look decent/acceptable/human by societal beauty standards.
I have specifically been avoiding that makeup thread cuz I have a very strong feeling it's just gonna end up pissing me off somehow lol.
I also have complicated feelings towards makeup. It used to be a huge passion of mine, but for the last year I've really had 0 desire to cater to any sort of male gaze. Maybe I should get real weird and artistic with my makeup instead. :D
Regarding makeup, I'm similar to Delphine in that I started wearing it late. Even later than her, actually! I used to only wear makeup at big events like weddings, but never on a regular day while out and about. I started wearing it as kind of a form of self care, and like Delphine, it's also had a positive effect on my self image without makeup. Soon after I started noticing my best features even while makeupless, or even just after rolling out of bed. I'd smile more when looking in the mirror. Like "hey, you look cute!" So I think makeup can be a really positive tool at times.
I'd say I still don't wear makeup while out at least 70% of the time, and feel zero pressure to. When I do, it's because I want to pamper myself a bit. My partner doesn't care either way if I wear it, but I have to remind him that I'm doing it for myself and not him at times haha.
But I know for many, many other women, there's a lot of pressure to wear it (or not wear it, in some cases... funnily enough that was the case for me growing up), and that really sucks.
I'd say I still don't wear makeup while out at least 70% of the time, and feel zero pressure to. When I do, it's because I want to pamper myself a bit. My partner doesn't care either way if I wear it, but I have to remind him that I'm doing it for myself and not him at times haha.
But I know for many, many other women, there's a lot of pressure to wear it (or not wear it, in some cases... funnily enough that was the case for me growing up), and that really sucks.
I'm so here for this type of thread. I could talk about periods for hours.
I'm 49 and only wore makeup for a few months in high school. I played saxophone though so by 3rd period, it was mostly gone. I suppose I'd have looked way hotter with it but my life has been just fine without. I'll be honest though, being a lesbian probably helped a lot. I've never had to worry about wanting to attract men, and if anything, not wearing makeup helped me avoid them. Well, that and cutting my hair finally. I literally changed my looks to try to avoid men's attention once I knew that it didn't stop women from looking.
The forum is better than others but I had to stop really hanging out in etc because it was fucking up my feelings about men as a whole. This is the lefty forum and the guys are still like this? I find myself with fewer and fewer places on the internet to enjoy because I always feel like an afterthought, or even a nuisance, just for wanting the same things the guys want online. I'm well past engaging and explaining, there's just too many of them. And when you're gay, black, and a woman...how many times can a person be expected to explain?
I could go on but my other online problems are with the intersection between my identities. My favorite place on the internet used to be a private lesbian forum on reddit. It was full of lgbt women from all over the world when it started. Two years later, it's just white women. I'm still there and there's one other black woman, but every other person of color has left for all the reasons you can imagine. I ask myself why I'm still there since I rarely speak anymore but it's what's left.
These are online things but I think about what they mean in real life. I think I liked the human race a lot more before I met so many of their online personalities. I honestly thought things were getting better until I got to witness forums. Sorry if this sounds defeatist. I don't mean it that way at all.
The forum is better than others but I had to stop really hanging out in etc because it was fucking up my feelings about men as a whole. This is the lefty forum and the guys are still like this? I find myself with fewer and fewer places on the internet to enjoy because I always feel like an afterthought, or even a nuisance, just for wanting the same things the guys want online. I'm well past engaging and explaining, there's just too many of them. And when you're gay, black, and a woman...how many times can a person be expected to explain?
I could go on but my other online problems are with the intersection between my identities. My favorite place on the internet used to be a private lesbian forum on reddit. It was full of lgbt women from all over the world when it started. Two years later, it's just white women. I'm still there and there's one other black woman, but every other person of color has left for all the reasons you can imagine. I ask myself why I'm still there since I rarely speak anymore but it's what's left.
These are online things but I think about what they mean in real life. I think I liked the human race a lot more before I met so many of their online personalities. I honestly thought things were getting better until I got to witness forums. Sorry if this sounds defeatist. I don't mean it that way at all.
Yeah, the reactions to the bans were very disappointing. They really, truly didn't get it huh?
It's wild. All those dudes laughing about calling Era a "boys club", like... do they just talk openly about their porn preferences and their masturbation habits in the company of women (who aren't necessarily close friends)? I mean, if they do and the women are cool with it, good for you I guess, but surely it can't be difficult to see why some women would be uncomfortable. And so, if they wouldn't say "oh yeah I used to fap to this chick, can you send me some links bro" in the presence of women IRL, why would they say it on Era?
And that's precisely because of boys club culture -- they essentially think they're among their male buddies only. Locker room talk.
Imagine being a dude in a group of people, men and women, and loudly going "So I used to fap to <porn star> years ago, I wonder if she's still around? I should look her up, it'd be fun to fap to her again like in the good ol' days". And when women in that group give him a side-eye or go "ummm", dude goes "What? Women masturbate too! Are we all Christian prudes now?". Like, are these guys really that obtuse? lol. Granted, the thread itself was about porn, but it's still no reason to act like you're in the damn locker room.
Jesus that's bs, wtf is wrong with people.
This is 100% the truth.
I'm half Black and half Jewish from a Hispanic background. My ex, who is on this forum, would call me dirty for not washing my hair everyday and for using countless products to maintain my ringlets, texture, moisture, and overall hair health. I tried so hard to explain that my hair was not the same as his and thus had different needs. If I washed my hair every day like he wanted me to, clumps of my hair would have fallen out and I would have lost my natural oils. In the end I gave up and it was nothing more than another bullet point in the list of reasons I left him.
I love my hair with every bit of myself. My mother is white but she never taught me how to do my hair. I never had braids, locs, weaves, etc growing up. She always bullied me for having the same hairstyles but it never ocurred to her to do her job as a mother and teach me how to do my hair. My bio father has a big Richard Pryor style fro but always shaves it down so as to not look Black.
The only person who taught me to love my hair was my white grandmother. She would brush my hair and she would cry a bit every time because when she was little girl she had learned that when her aunts and cousins were sent to Auschwitz their beautiful curly hair was shorn. It made me reflect and I swore to never change my hair in a way that would obscure my identity.
Learning to love my hair has been a long, long, journey.
I teared up a bit reading this. Thank you for sharing it, and I'm sorry for what you've had to endure. I have a similar hair type to yours, so I can relate to what you have to do to maintain it, including not washing it every day. It'd be dry af if I did. My hair always looks better on the day after I've washed it compared to the first day because of my natural hair oils too. I'm glad you love your hair, because it's beautiful.
Much love to my fellow women of colour. ❤