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Reddit| Member already in a relationship tries a Tinder experiment with his g/f; doesn't end well

badboy78660

badboy78660

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,737
Would any of you try this experiment with your significant other? (quoting the Reddit poster's OP, including their TLDR):
https://old.reddit.com/r/relationsh...der_experiment_with_my_28m_girlfriend_27f_of/

Hi all.

I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years and thereabouts, and all was going pretty well. I met her IRL, but before that I was having no success with the Tinder game. She, herself, never used it ever.

2 weeks ago, she was telling me about some of her friends' horror stories on Tinder, and I laughed with her and added "Tinder's way worse for guys, though". She didn't believe me when I told her most guys get 0 matches, and I wouldn't either. So we decided to play (what seemed at the time) a fun game : set up Tinder profiles of each other and see what happened. And the obvious happened: after one week, I had pretty much no matches except bots. On the other hand, she was bombarded with matches and messages, quite a few of them from pretty attractive guys (or at least, what I judge to be attractive guys, a lot of them probably more than me). She admitted I was right and that it was an "eye opener". We agreed to shut down our profiles.
The problem is, ever since, she's grown slightly more distant and cold, and it's now beginning to be noticeable. Basically less happy to see me, much less in the mood for sex, not as physical or cuddly as before, and more importantly way more monosyllabic in our conversations. etc. I sat her down yesterday to talk about it, and she was evasive. When I asked if the Tinder experiment had anything to do with it, she looked away and just vaguely said "I don't know, maybe".

I feel like I've played myself here. Is this doomed or is there any way I can save it?

TL ; DR: played a Tinder experiment with my girlfriend and now it looks like she's way more distant and cold towards me.
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Seems like the experiment, initially, was good fun, until the OP's partner had her eyes opened as to what might be possible with other people?
 
Kwigo

Kwigo

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
8,036
That's a bad case "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence".
 
Rivenblade

Rivenblade

Member
Nov 1, 2017
37,129
CanineOldGalapagospenguin-max-1mb.gif


But really, sucks for the guy. Better he knows than not know. Same for her.
 
skipgo

skipgo

Member
Dec 28, 2018
2,568
I believe there's more at play in the relationship that's leading her to act that way other than knowing she has options but i'm no scientist.
 
OP
OP
badboy78660

badboy78660

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,737
Seems like two things happened as a result of playing this game: by not getting any/many matches himself, he devalued himself (though that's kinda out of his control isn't it? If people didn't swipe right on him, that's kinda their choice). And it showed his partner just how many dudes would be into her?
 
Magneto

Magneto

Prophet of Truth
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
14,449
She'll realize a few months later that people are on Tinder mostly for sex and she'll miss having someone that actually cares for her.

But the guy should just get the hell out of that relationship.
 
HamSandwich

HamSandwich

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,605
I have a feeling that relationship was on rocky ground before the experiment. Probably on her end more than his.
 
Mobu

Mobu

One Winged Slayer
The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
5,932
Dont believe it at face value, half of r/relationship_advice threads are trolling attempts
 
Slayven

Slayven

Never read a comic in his life
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
93,182
sounds plausible but could be fake.

But if it took that little to shake things up, you been on the rocks a while and just now noticing it
 

Deleted member 19003

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
3,809
Eh, not sure that's totally believable. If there are issues, they were most likely there before the tinder game.

Some of these type posts come across as mra bait btw. Spreading awful women stories.
 
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Puroresu_kid

Puroresu_kid

Member
Oct 28, 2017
9,470
That sounds like a girl that was desperate to try Tinder but needed a reason to justify it.

The Bf should never of went ahead with it as girls will get matches no matter what and he would have known this.
 
Gay Bowser

Gay Bowser

Member
Oct 30, 2017
17,708
"2 weeks ago, she was telling me about some of her friends' horror stories on Tinder, and I laughed with her and added 'Tinder's way worse for guys, though.'"

The thing is, his "horror story" on Tinder was being ignored except by bots (the horror!) whereas women have horror stories about actual creeps.

Maybe she's "distant and cold" because he displayed that he fundamentally didn't understand what his girlfriend and her friends had to deal with, and instead "laughed with her" and tried to prove her wrong. Like, whose first instinct is it, when women complain about dating horror stories, to say "men have it worse!!!"
 

Deleted member 38573

User requested account closure
Banned
Jan 17, 2018
3,902
"Tinder's way worse for guys, though". She didn't believe me when I told her most guys get 0 matches, and I wouldn't either
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and i don't believe that she didn't believe him

i don't think i've ever met a girl that has difficulty getting men to hit on them. unless her self esteem is rock bottom, most women know they run the dating "market"
 

John Doe

Avenger
Jan 24, 2018
3,443
FreeMufasa said:
Lol. Reminds me of the dude who begged his gf to enter an open relationship because other chicks were friendly with him. Once she finally agreed, it turned out how you'd expect. All the girls he was talking to were just flirting and weren't up for anything whereas she was getting drilled out by some swole bro every week.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/jezebe...relationship-backfires-spectac-1578409074/amp
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I don't believe this story either. I'd wager the majority of stories on reddit are fake.
 
Advance.Wars.Sgt.

Advance.Wars.Sgt.

Member
Jun 10, 2018
8,848
Rather than villify the girlfriend as this story intends, I'm more inclined to believe the relationship hasn't been what the boyfriend claims and he's simply unaware of that - willful or not.

I'm sorry, but people don't just want to up and leave a three year relationship without there being some underlying unaddressed issues. I doubt the girlfriend's growing distance is entirely due to "discovering" the type of attractive dudes she could get.
 
AnansiThePersona

AnansiThePersona

Started a revolution but the mic was unplugged
Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,682
It's a dick bargain sale out there my guy. He has no choice but to step his dick game up exponentially. Also eating ass may help.
 
DarkChronic

DarkChronic

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,037
i know everyone is calling BS but idk i can sort of seeing it happening? lol, that really sucks if it's real.
 
SwampBastard

SwampBastard

The Fallen
Nov 1, 2017
11,040
Fake or not, to answer your question, OP - fuck no I wouldn't do this with my SO. I know exactly what would happen: my stunningly beautiful wife would be inundated with messages and I'd be getting radio silence. I'm keenly aware of the fact that I'm punching well above my weight. I don't need a Tinder experiment to prove it.
 
HamSandwich

HamSandwich

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,605
FreeMufasa said:
Lol. Reminds me of the dude who begged his gf to enter an open relationship because other chicks were friendly with him. Once she finally agreed, it turned out how you'd expect. All the girls he was talking to were just flirting and weren't up for anything whereas she was getting drilled out by some swole bro every week.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/jezebe...relationship-backfires-spectac-1578409074/amp
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Lol what gets me in that article is how he shits on his gf by saying "why would that dude want to be with my gf rather than some hot girl?"
 
StrangeRoboMemory

StrangeRoboMemory

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,767
Toronto, ON
They were together for 3 years and this was all it took? She must be pretty young/naive not to realize that yes, other attractive people exist in the world and may be interested in you. Sounds like a BS story, honestly.
 
Puroresu_kid

Puroresu_kid

Member
Oct 28, 2017
9,470
snacknuts said:
Fake or not, to answer your question, OP - fuck no I wouldn't do this with my SO. I know exactly what would happen: my stunningly beautiful wife would be inundated with messages and I'd be getting radio silence. I'm keenly aware of the fact that I'm punching well above my weight. I don't need a Tinder experiment to prove it.
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This.

More importantly girls will get attention on tinder no matter what. Plenty guys swipe 'yes' to all profiles.

I have a hard time believing the dude has no idea how this would play out.
 

Deleted member 19003

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
3,809
FreeMufasa said:
Lol. Reminds me of the dude who begged his gf to enter an open relationship because other chicks were friendly with him. Once she finally agreed, it turned out how you'd expect. All the girls he was talking to were just flirting and weren't up for anything whereas she was getting drilled out by some swole bro every week.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/jezebe...relationship-backfires-spectac-1578409074/amp
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Might also be fake. Also "drilled out"? Classy...
 
RDreamer

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,106
If my SO was only still with me because she didn't know she could get other vaguely more attractive dudes instead then I wouldn't want to be with her. Better to rip that bandaid off early rather than later.

Truth is there are plenty of fish in the sea. You're not the most attractive person in the world and neither is your SO. You're not perfect, but you should love each other for who you are. If some shit like this breaks you up then it was all but inevitable.

Also yeah I agree with the one person here that side eyed the "tinder is way worse for guys" after horror stories. Women deal with some real disgusting and possibly horror inducing shit with online dating. Getting no matches isn't horror. I mean it sucks, but it ain't the same thing. Sorry.
 
Landy828

Landy828

Member
Oct 26, 2017
13,419
Clemson, SC
Stupid story. My Fiancee and I know we can get other people, we choose not to because we love/care for one another.

It's no surprise that my own lady would probably get 100 men to my 15 or 20 women if we did that. Idiot, of course Tinder is going to be full of guys wanting to get laid.
 
ShyMel

ShyMel

Moderator
Oct 31, 2017
3,483
2 weeks ago, she was telling me about some of her friends' horror stories on Tinder, and I laughed with her and added "Tinder's way worse for guys, though". She didn't believe me when I told her most guys get 0 matches, and I wouldn't either.
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I would rather have no matches than a horror story match.
 
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