Poly/Open Relationship Support Thread

[Nothing Loud]

Hi Everyone,

I recently revealed that I am learning about myself and might be identifying myself as polyamorous. My husband and I have converted our marriage into an open marriage (which is common here in Seattle). The thread did not go well as people teased me, but I saw some comments of support from other poly people that it gave me the thought to make this thread.

You may be wondering what this is all about. Basically I discovered that there is room in my heart to both love my spouse unconditionally and choose to live with them as my family for the rest of my life, but also there is room to have sex and infatuate with other people without jealousy or destruction to the main couple relationship. That's the gist of it for me.

I have some reading materials my therapist gave me to support our journey as a polyamorous couple. I've found them very enlightening:

The Ethical Slut

The Poly Handbook: A User's Guide

Does anyone else have poly or open relationship experiences to share? Some in my last thread said it was very beneficial to their lives.

yesterday my husband and I talked about how I'm developing a crush on my new best friend. He fulfills my personality clashes and needs that I don't get from my husband in a new way, and since I'm kind of a demisexual I guess I am developing feelings for him now. He might be too, we're both kind of obsessed with each other and spending time together. But my husband listened openly and was not jealous, he was just happy for me that I had another love growing in my life. Similarly he is starting to crush on another guy we recently met and his heart is growing tender and fond for this person too. I'm happy for him. There's no jealousy. We're still committed to being each other's soul mate and we don't love each other any less. We're just excited to explore this together.

 

[MasaDrew]

My experience with being Poly is quite sour but it was definitely not the norm or any where close to being a healthy dynamic. That said just like with most relationship dynamics polycules can be a wondrous thing with enough hard work.

Its heartwarming to hear that you and your husband seem to have open and honest communication. Everyone can experience jealousy on some level even in the most sound poly relationship, but communication and understanding beats it every time.

Your best friend will always be a synced group google calender XD

 

[Svadhyaya]

Thanks for making an OT about this. I'm about to play around with a few open couples for the first time and received some great advice from my therapist on how to proceed ("What do they consider cheating", "what do they ultimately want out me", etc). Any other suggestions or words of advice going forward?

 

[Nothing Loud]

Thanks for making an OT about this. I'm about to play around with a few open couples for the first time and received some great advice from my therapist on how to proceed ("What do they consider cheating", "what do they ultimately want out me", etc). Any other suggestions or words of advice going forward?

Click to shrink...

Yeah! I learned some concepts from my therapist that could help too plus some ideas of my own:
- Establish ground rules, while sober and before engaging in poly sex/relationships. What is okay and not okay for you? Then try what you're okay with and reevaluate: am I still okay with this or has this changed? What does this reveal about me? Do I know something new about myself now?
- Be flexible and kind to yourself. You can make mistakes and still learn and grow. You can decide you don't like something and take a step back, but don't live life with regret!
- If you have a main relationship, decide with that person what your goals are for open/poly. Is it to get closer together? If so choose ground rules that support that instead of take away from your goals.
- Similarly, trust your partner and be honest always. Reveal feelings before they become uncontrollably big. Be honest about jealousy and make it known what you are currently comfortable with and not. Check in with how your partner is doing.
- Don't combine finances/family in modern western society with too many people or it might get confusing and messy quickly.
- Think of situations that would make you jealous to define the boundary for you and your partner.
- if you and your partner decide to only engage in love or sex together with someone else (throuple, or threesome), then allow each partner to have a veto power (a signal that you're vetoing moving forward with the third person, all three people must feel comfortable).
- come up with a signal word or phrase you can use in polite public that signals you're not attracted to someone versus that you are. That way you and your partners can discretely share your interest in a third party.

 

[G_Shumi]

Great thread, Nothing Loud ! The poly community here is seriously underrepresented and polyamorus relationships in general are looked down on unfairly.

For myself, my husband and I have been together for 10 years. We opened up our relationship more than 4 years ago and it's continued to be smooth sailing the entire time.

Communication is the absolute top priority when it comes to open relationships. Once you have that down, the rest is very fulfilling.

 

[Tawpgun]

My big wonder is if there's any data on poly relationship outcomes. I can only speak from anecdotal experience of friends who do it and the only ones that seem to find success are the ones who aren't tied down. We have a friend who is very poly but she doesn't have that one comitted partner. They all live seperatley etc. She's having fun for sure but idk what the long term solution is.

Having a dual income, stable experience seems at least to me to be very important. Unless you get into a triad, or all live together or something how do you build a future together. Once you introduce more people its tougher to compromise, its tougher to build a future together because you have more inputs. Is it fair for someone to be not the primary partner? For our friend its working fine. She's independant and likes to do her own thing. But for people already in a relationship I wanna know how often it works out for the better.

 

[Robotnik]

Glad to see polyamorous folk have a place to talk without pushback from people that can't imagine such a thing working. I don't think it's for me, personally, but I can imagine more secure individuals making it work and being healthier for it.

 

[Buttchin-n-Bones]

I remember the last thread, I hope this one is actually more supportive

My last relationship was with a lady who identifies as poly, though I hadn't been considering that for myself at the time. Despite all of her attachment issues, she was one of the amazing people I've ever met and uplifted my life moreso than basically anyone else I had met in my life up to that point. Even though we were open, we never actually got the opportunity to test that cause we never met anyone else during our time together, though there was flirting with others

 

[collige]

I meant to reply to the last thread, but didn't have time to write a good post before it got locked. I've been essentially solo poly for a while now. Some general thoughts:
-I think any pseudo-scientific claims about how "humans evolved to not to be monogamous" are just as overbroad as those claiming that poly never works-
-I don't think I ever fully read my copy of The Ethical Slut, but I bought it out of obligation. The language is pretty outdated iirc
-I would argue that a lot of poly / open relationships "fail" because they were opened up in the first place in an attempt to "fix" things. "Maybe if we bring in a third person it'll bring the spice back" etc. If things aren't going great beforehand, bringing in more people will just complicate things and isn't fair to the new partner that may not be aware of the drama
-Similarly, unicorn hunting sucks

My big wonder is if there's any data on poly relationship outcomes. I can only speak from anecdotal experience of friends who do it and the only ones that seem to find success are the ones who aren't tied down. We have a friend who is very poly but she doesn't have that one comitted partner. They all live seperatley etc. She's having fun for sure but idk what the long term solution is.

Click to shrink...

Who says that can't be the long term solution?

 

[FirMatt]

Being solo poly has been hellish during quarantine. My entire romantic style means meeting fresh faces and building connections around shared experiences. But everyone is locked down in their private, hierarchical polycules and I feel so isolated...

 

[Shiloh]

Agreed upon ground rules
Communication

Communication is obviously important in any relationship. When going outside the rules social norms define, it's a very good idea to have all parties agree on the standards.

 

[Tawpgun]

I meant to reply to the last thread, but didn't have time to write a good post before it got locked. I've been essentially solo poly for a while now. Some general thoughts:
-I think any pseudo-scientific claims about how "humans evolved to not to be monogamous" are just as overbroad as those claiming that poly never works-
-I don't think I ever fully read my copy of The Ethical Slut, but I bought it out of obligation. The language is pretty outdated iirc
-I would argue that a lot of poly / open relationships "fail" because they were opened up in the first place in an attempt to "fix" things. "Maybe if we bring in a third person it'll bring the spice back" etc. If things aren't going great beforehand, bringing in more people will just complicate things and isn't fair to the new partner that may not be aware of the drama
-Similarly, unicorn hunting sucks


Who says that can't be the long term solution?

Click to shrink...

It can be I suppose. It's definitely a different lifestyle choice. I'm not certain what her ambitions are for kids and such but thats the one thing I feel stability is needed for. If you have a "tribe" thats one way of doing it for sure. But if partners are coming and going I think that can be tough on a kid.

Not to say it doesn't happen in monogomy (children of divorce etc) but I guess I like the idea of striving for that stability vs openly rejecting it.

I'm in a 7ish year relationship and we aren't trying to fix anything thats broken or anything but we both talked about expanding into some non-monogamy stuff. I think likely just some threesome+ to start we talked to our friends about Poly and tbh it just seems like a very difficult way to live. Having a primary partner to build your life with sounds like (at least in our current society) the best way to go forward. But some people (or so our friend tells us) frown upon people like this because its not fair to the other people outside the primary relationship and its better that all are equal.

 

[astro]

Monogamous relationships fail all the time for many, many reasons. I'm not sure why so many people ignore this and then make claims about poly lifestyles.

Anecdotally, I'm poly. The people that myself and my partner see are poly. Some of our friends are poly, and the issues we talk about are no different or more frequent than those of monogamous couples.

Monogamy is not a requirement for committed long term relationships, security, children, etc... ground rules, communication, respect... all of these things are important in ANY relationship.

PS - the idea that poly relationships are just about having more "fun" is also quite ignorant. For many (and, anecdotally, all poly people I have personally spoken with), it is more about forging more lasting connections with more people.

 

[Parch]

I can imagine there's a lot of objection to these types of relationships, but there shouldn't be. It's good to at least talk about the subject and be open to accepting that it can be a option for many.

I look at the ridiculously high divorce rates and think that monogamous relationships are failing waay too much. Society expects a committed and loyal relationship pretty much from the start, but there has to be a better way to approach it. A relationship haunted and filled with jealousy is not healthy. Even if an open relationship is not the long term solution, an open relationship should be able to prevent a lot of failed monogamous relationships.

 

[Antrax]

We're not poly but really only because none of our partners were people we were both into.

The main thing is to be very honest. Not just comfort and rules, but also how you got there in the first place. For me, I've always found monogamy possessive. I took out all references to submission and anything "locked down" from my wife's vows (and she did the same to mine) because it really makes me uncomfortable for someone else to say "I'm yours" or anything like that. I always found that weird going back to high school. People would cheat and get into heated arguments about it and I just didn't get it. I think I have a really practical view of life in general. If you can make it to death while maximizing happiness, then you nailed it. Putting restrictions on my partner doesn't make me happy.

 

[astro]

We're not poly but really only because none of our partners were people we were both into.

Click to shrink...

Poly doesn't mean you have to share partners, btw.

 

[Pirateluigi]

My wife and I practice a form of kitchen table poly. Her boyfriend is over pretty frequently and my girlfriend comes over when she can (she works nights so it's hard to find time). It's been tough this year due to covid but otherwise it's a pretty wonderful situation.

 

[Rendering...]

We're not poly but really only because none of our partners were people we were both into.

The main thing is to be very honest. Not just comfort and rules, but also how you got there in the first place. For me, I've always found monogamy possessive. I took out all references to submission and anything "locked down" from my wife's vows (and she did the same to mine) because it really makes me uncomfortable for someone else to say "I'm yours" or anything like that. I always found that weird going back to high school. People would cheat and get into heated arguments about it and I just didn't get it. I think I have a really practical view of life in general. If you can make it to death while maximizing happiness, then you nailed it. Putting restrictions on my partner doesn't make me happy.

Click to shrink...

I can sympathize with this.

 

[Antrax]

Poly doesn't mean you have to share partners, btw.

Click to shrink...

True. It's a bit of an extra step in that we don't interact with the other's partners mostly, due to different interests. But you're right

 

[Nothing Loud]

We're not poly but really only because none of our partners were people we were both into.

The main thing is to be very honest. Not just comfort and rules, but also how you got there in the first place. For me, I've always found monogamy possessive. I took out all references to submission and anything "locked down" from my wife's vows (and she did the same to mine) because it really makes me uncomfortable for someone else to say "I'm yours" or anything like that. I always found that weird going back to high school. People would cheat and get into heated arguments about it and I just didn't get it. I think I have a really practical view of life in general. If you can make it to death while maximizing happiness, then you nailed it. Putting restrictions on my partner doesn't make me happy.

Click to shrink...

I love this description. Thank you for sharing, I'm finding myself relating to the mantra of being "unpossessive" of my partner a lot more than when we started dating (when I was both monogamous and religious). Now that I'm atheist and identifying as poly, I am free to feel the way you describe, if that makes sense. I want my partner to be happy and vice versa. If there is no god or afterlife, then life for me is about maximizing pleasure and good will toward others whenever possible before you become wormy dirt. So since life is short, experience all the love and excitement you can.

Developing this crush on my bff has been exhilarating. It's like I'm single again, enjoying the excitement of discovering someone new and having butterflies in my stomach when I think about them. It's been so special to share those feelings with my own husband and not have him be jealous of that, because I haven't felt that way since he and I first started dating and we felt that about each other. Not to say that we don't love each other anymore, we do, he's my soul mate, but we've figured each other out, we're a very mature developed relationship. Right now I'm simultaneously also enjoying the excitement of being infatuated with someone new and it's just fun and the dopamine rush is what life is all about for me, exciting, lasting human connection. Idk if that makes sense but that's kind of what I'm experiencing right now!

 

[astro]

True. It's a bit of an extra step in that we don't interact with the other's partners mostly, due to different interests. But you're right

Click to shrink...

We don't share partners either, but some of them we're friends with. My partner and I are very different people, and the things that connect us are quite specific. I think it'll be really hard for us to find a single person we're both into, but we're not closed to the idea.

So I get where you're coming from. I also share the ideals you described in the rest of your posts, and they've always been something I found I valued even when I was a part of long term monogamous relationships in the past.

 

[Madison]

ive been experimenting with some sort of poly relationship for almost 2 years now

gf has two more partners, while I am very close to another person, a close friend of mine. Its worked out well so far, most of my problems come from me being a bit jealous (personal insecurities and all). Our monogamous rationalities can sometimes make us compare each other and think "what does this person have that I dont" but framing it as a competition is not worth it. Every partner in a poly relationship is a plant in a garden, and we all require different needs and activities.

So yeah, things are going well. Anyone who is interested in poly relationships should think about what it would mean for them, but it can be something wonderful for your life.

 

[collige]

It can be I suppose. It's definitely a different lifestyle choice. I'm not certain what her ambitions are for kids and such but thats the one thing I feel stability is needed for. If you have a "tribe" thats one way of doing it for sure. But if partners are coming and going I think that can be tough on a kid.

Not to say it doesn't happen in monogomy (children of divorce etc) but I guess I like the idea of striving for that stability vs openly rejecting it.

Click to shrink...

I don't think this is incorrect per se, but it also applies to single parents as well with much less hand wringing. We as a society have pretty much accepted the idea that divorce is an okay thing to do even if you have a kid, so what difference does it make if they were never married in the first place?

 

[Buttchin-n-Bones]

But some people (or so our friend tells us) frown upon people like this because its not fair to the other people outside the primary relationship and its better that all are equal.

Click to shrink...

Isn't that the point, though? Monogamous people have personal hierarchies of the most important people in their lives. Why shouldn't poly people? All that's different is sexual contact with more people in the hierarchy

 

[collige]

Having a primary partner to build your life with sounds like (at least in our current society) the best way to go forward. But some people (or so our friend tells us) frown upon people like this because its not fair to the other people outside the primary relationship and its better that all are equal.

Click to shrink...

What you're describing is called "hierarchical poly" and it happens all the time. The most important thing is always communication and people are naturally going to have different levels of material entanglement that complicate relationships anyway.

 

[Parch]

The main thing is to be very honest. Not just comfort and rules, but also how you got there in the first place. For me, I've always found monogamy possessive. I took out all references to submission and anything "locked down" from my wife's vows (and she did the same to mine) because it really makes me uncomfortable for someone else to say "I'm yours" or anything like that. I always found that weird going back to high school. People would cheat and get into heated arguments about it and I just didn't get it.

Click to shrink...

It is high school and possessive. There is an automatic assumption that any relationship should be a committed relationship. Even if they have gone out only a couple of times, the default seems to be.. don't you dare cheat on me. It quickly gets heated and even violent, even when the couple has never discussed their relationship. Communication is the key. A committed relationship only happens when both sides agree that's what it is. It should never be assumed.

 

[Browser]

Reading the threads about it over the years, it seems to me most of poly relationships start because the woman initiates the conversation, Ive seen few instances where the man brings it up and the woman agrees ( in hetero poly relationships of course)

Its anectodal, but for the people who are in poly relationships, do you have that perception also?

 

[AliceAmber]

So glad to see this thread here. <3 My partner and I aren't seeing anyone but we used to do so years ago.

 

[Pirateluigi]

Reading the threads about it over the years, it seems to me most of poly relationships start because the woman initiates the conversation, Ive seen few instances where the man brings it up and the woman agrees ( in hetero poly relationships of course)

Its anectodal, but for the people who are in poly relationships, do you have that perception also?

Click to shrink...

I've seen pretty even cases of both, honestly. It's all fairly anecdotal though.

My wife and I started our relationship both knowing we were poly, so it was never an issue.

 

[Nothing Loud]

I went and had my first hookup without my husband today. It was with an acquaintance that has been wanting to hook up with me for weeks. I asked my husband for permission and he said it was fine so I decided to try it. First time having sex with someone else purely for the physical release. So that feels kind of weird. But the more I think about it the less weird it feels or gets. Sex is just sex. I came home and hung out with my husband afterward and I'm surprised I feel like everything is fine. Probably because it is. I'm just not used to this since I had a very religious upbringing

 

[G_Shumi]

I went and had my first hookup without my husband today. It was with an acquaintance that has been wanting to hook up with me for weeks. I asked my husband for permission and he said it was fine so I decided to try it. First time having sex with someone else purely for the physical release. So that feels kind of weird. But the more I think about it the less weird it feels or gets. Sex is just sex. I came home and hung out with my husband afterward and I'm surprised I feel like everything is fine. Probably because it is. I'm just not used to this since I had a very religious upbringing

Click to shrink...

That's awesome! I'm so glad that you had a good time. Sex really is just sex. You'll definitely get used to it the more you do it. Did you talk about how the hookup went to your husband? Did you mention all the details? 👀

 

[astro]

Reading the threads about it over the years, it seems to me most of poly relationships start because the woman initiates the conversation, Ive seen few instances where the man brings it up and the woman agrees ( in hetero poly relationships of course)

Its anectodal, but for the people who are in poly relationships, do you have that perception also?

Click to shrink...

Not at all.

And most poly relationships I know were because two people sought them out, and not two people who were monogamous transitioning into one.

 

[Doctor_Thomas]

I'm not personally into poly or open relationships, but I would like to show support for people who are. It's another one of those aspects of human sexuality where people misunderstand what it is and why people are in those relationships.

 

[Punchline]

Just recently became poly and honestly couldn't be happier... communication really is the key.

 

[Viriditas]

I'm poly and I'm super glad to see this thread. I was there for the other one and it was...not good, lol. Thanks so much Nothing Loud , and I'd also like to join other users here in congratulating you and your husband on your relationship skills and new experiences. :)

One of the biggest challenges for me has been navigating people's assumptions/setting safe boundaries. When folks say poly life is just about wanting to have fun, it makes me laugh, because having to fend off creeps and closet-cases is absolutely no fun for me at all. My fun-to-scary experiences ratio is way skewed.

I haven't been looking for additional partners or advertising myself openly as poly. Like it isn't necessarily public knowledge about me, nor am I on any dating sites or anything. Yet when folks learn that my partner and I aren't monogamous (usually in the course of asking why we aren't married, for which there are many reasons), they assume that I must want sex all the time, probably with anybody, and that I can be propositioned without consequence.

It's weird to me that nobody asks what polyamory means to me, or what I like, or whether I'm even looking for anyone or anything right now. And folks say they aren't being sexist, but my partner who is a cis guy deals with maybe a fraction of the same treatment, if any. IMO there's definitely a baseline misogynistic expectation of entitlement to my emotional labor/availability as a femme person.

I've had some truly invaluable experiences as a polyamorous woman and I don't mean to sound bitter about my own way of life. I guess what I'm saying is that in terms of support, what I'd most like is some sharing of safety skills. I feel like the depth of public misunderstanding about nonmonogamy is mostly an inconvenience, but it can also be a legitimately harmful hazard to navigate.

 

[Prophet Five]

I'm glad this thread exists but I won't be posting much in it. Whenever being open was brought up in the Gay OT it was shamed, dismissed and ridiculed by posters in that thread and it made sure that I wouldn't discuss it on this forum again. I'm only doing it now to show support for everyone else. Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 17402]

I'm recently non-monogamous and the apps of Tinder, Bumble and OKC haven't been too successful. Are there other good apps for poly/open relationship people?

 

[myojinsoga]

Nothing but love and respect for people living on their own terms. There's a tension in my own committed relationship, where I know that my partner is incontrovertibly not interested in any form of open relationship. Yet for as much as I love and want to spend my life with them, my curiosity about other people doesn't seem to have an 'off' switch. We have talked about that as a simple fact, and it's ok ... I couldn't not share my fantasising habit with them, and they accept it. I hope that we can just keep on feeding that dynamic into our relationship as food.

Anyway, point being - support instead of ridicule or condemnation.

 

[Pringer Lagann]

I've tried and I feel like I need to work on myself above all else before making any sort of foray into it again. I feel like I am capable but my self worth issues got the better of me at the time.

 

[Blackflag]

My gf and I opened our relationship after 7 years. It's been good and has improved our relationship so thanks for this thread.

 

[Nothing Loud]

I'm recently non-monogamous and the apps of Tinder, Bumble and OKC haven't been too successful. Are there other good apps for poly/open relationship people?

Click to shrink...

Hinge is worth trying

That's awesome! I'm so glad that you had a good time. Sex really is just sex. You'll definitely get used to it the more you do it. Did you talk about how the hookup went to your husband? Did you mention all the details? 👀

Click to shrink...

yeah I did and funny enough he made out with a friend of ours while I wasn't home so we talked about it and thankfully realized we aren't jealous of each other at all lol.

 

[Browser]

Not at all.

And most poly relationships I know were because two people sought them out, and not two people who were monogamous transitioning into one.

Click to shrink...

You mean two single people got together to be in a poly relationship?

I know people who were in a monogamous relationship and they decided to try poly, and for all the initial conversation was from the wife, so thats why I asked.

 

[astro]

You mean two single people got together to be in a poly relationship?

I know people who were in a monogamous relationship and they decided to try poly, and for all the initial conversation was from the wife, so thats why I asked.

Click to shrink...

Yes. On dating sites there are lots of poly people with no current partners looking for relationships for example.

 

[Nothing Loud]

Update: I have a boyfriend now, and I love him. And I love my husband. And the three of us hang out (but they don't have a romantic/sexual relationship together) so it's a V relationship.

my husband is currently out on a Grindr date with a cute Asian guy (he loves Asians, but married me, a white hispanic, so it's really cute to see him enjoy himself with other cute guys). Hope he's enjoying himself. It's actually the first time he's left me home to go on a date so I actually had to consciously think through the process in order to avoid feeling jealous (an early, common problem in opening a relationship, but easily resolved with some healthy perspective and introspection). After I thought about it, I felt happy for him. Because I don't see my husband as a person whose time and affection I own, but rather an equal I encountered in life whom I want to share love with, but that doesn't mean I own him. So why should I be the only lover in his life? That feels selfish to me now that I've become poly. If I love him, I want him to be happy, and if it makes him happy to have multiple lovers, and the same for me, then I will be able to sit at home and enjoy schitt's creek while he's out on a date. And I am! And I look forward to hearing about his date when he comes back.

how is everyone else doing?

 

[Goodlifr]

Me and wife are "starting" our voyage into the Poly world, so good to know this thread exists.

Actually, are we starting, I don't know. In a way it feels like we're just formalising.

We've been together forever, had multiple threesomes / foursomes over the years and it's never been an issue, but we've always played together.

What's got me is that when I look back over our relationship, the vast majority of time there has been someone else heavily involved.
Various people over the years, but we always tend to form a really close bond with certain people... Holiday together (just the 3 of us), nights out together, spending a lot of time together just hanging out, group chats etc etc etc.
Some we've been sexually involved with, others not, but it's never been a thing, neither of us have gone out of our way to look for it, it's just been there.

There's someone at the moment, who we both love and is heavily involved in our life.
We were sexually involved for a year or so, but that stopped a couple of years ago, mostly because as a group we weren't honest enough to really talk about it, other than "fuck that was good".
It says a lot about the relationship between all us that we've been able to move on from that and we are all still very close.


So that's where we are. We've talked, a lot about it, which has meant me opening up, a lot, which to be honest I find hard to do (type of person I am) but it is a great feeling once I've gotten over the fear.

Who knows what's going to happen next, we've joined a dating app, but are both very "meh" about that.
We both work full time, have kids, are constantly busy, so my fear is now I've finally accepted what I want, nothing comes of it.... Which I guess maybe enough..

 

[Sadsic]

i have been doing poly for about a year, definitely watching this thread lol

its been quite the fucking journey, ill just say that and maybe make a big post later lol

 

[Quantum Leap]

Being solo poly has been hellish during quarantine. My entire romantic style means meeting fresh faces and building connections around shared experiences. But everyone is locked down in their private, hierarchical polycules and I feel so isolated...

Click to shrink...

Yup same. My monogamous ex thought I wanted to get back together because we started hanging out again, I just wanted some hugs

 

[Psittacus]

how is everyone else doing?

Click to shrink...

My partner is stuck on the other side of the world and I can't find people to date but I'm doing fine because I prefer being on my own most of the time anyway ^_^'

 

[hateradio]

My only experience with this is that I "dated" someone who is poly . . . even if their relationship wasn't toxic, I never want to do that again. In fact, I had a suspicion that they only opened it up, because the guy wanted to date me. It was a real head scratcher. We don't talk anymore.

Anyway, I'm fairly asexual on a good day, and very mono when in a romantic mode. I've never needed more than one person, and never will. So that experience, just re-affirmed me. I can't date someone who is already in a relationship with someone else. Sorry, y'all. :(

 

[eisschollee]

Hey there ,
We recently opened our marriage and I want to get into dating apps.

Never used them before, so mayhaps somebody could help me out, how to setup or what to write in my bio, in bumble for example, to signal that i am married with a kind but still looking ? In a funny way or just be straigth forward ?
Thank you for your help !!
Cheers,