-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
Please stop referring to women as "females" (READ OP)
- Thread starter Persephone
- Start date
- Status
Since that post seems to have stirred people, I didn't mean to offend. I personally don't like it, but yeah, I shouldn't have said it was creepy, I should have specified that I don't like it, or that it's creepy to me.
It's good to talk to them about this, it's not the biggest sin in the world to use whatever they're comfortable with.
Almost like the problem was with "these are my" and not "women"
What else am I supposed to say when describing my wife then? I mean, she's my wife. I'm her husband. I guess I could say, "The woman that I made my marriage vows with," but that seems like a mouthful when, "My wife," suffices.
The 'my wife' thing in context is when I know the person.
Let's say we're at the pub, and I know your wife Sarah, and she's not there, and you say 'my wife had a terrible day at work', instead of 'Sarah had a terrible day at work'.
Pretty sure the phrase "my wife" or "my boyfriend" is simply for telling others what relation that person is to you. It's not meant to show or imply that you have ownership over someone. I'm sure you obviously know that and I get what you're trying to say but...come on.
I was about to come here and say i really do not understand what the big deal is.
This post provided the clarity i was looking for. Now it makes sense.
Well yeah, if the people I'm talking to know my wife, I'll just say her name. If they don't, I'll say, "my wife," because they will have no idea who I'm talking about if I just use her name. Sarah could be anybody to people that don't know her, so of course I'll say "my wife," or "my wife, Sarah said XYZ."
I remember that my friends have made fun of me for using the word at one point, but I was discussing something like purchasing trends or some other demographic thing, and I think my tone was clinical during the whole thing, not using "men" and "females". Hopefully it's not something I've made a habit and just aren't cognizant of.
But having heard criticism of people using "female" so many times lately, I've also started to notice when other people do it. When it's in a normal, everyday context, hearing that word is just weird. It's like you're listening to some alien bodysnatcher who is imitating human behaviour but still hasn't worked out the kinks.
But having heard criticism of people using "female" so many times lately, I've also started to notice when other people do it. When it's in a normal, everyday context, hearing that word is just weird. It's like you're listening to some alien bodysnatcher who is imitating human behaviour but still hasn't worked out the kinks.
Just go browse /r/justneckbeardthings for a while.
You'll never want to use the word "female" again. *shudder*
You'll never want to use the word "female" again. *shudder*
I mean right off the bat you can say 'These are my family members'
Or 'This is my daughter and wife'
It's not that hard.
Quick question: I have a lot of friends (many, in fact) for whom English is not their first language, and they use male and man, and female and woman, interchangably. Given that the incidence of male and female for them in their vocabulary seems to be equal (i.e. I have not particularly noticed them using "female" more than they use "male"; then again, I freely confess I may not have paid attention), is their usage of the word female acceptable in this case?
Basically, I am asking two questions:
Basically, I am asking two questions:
- The acceptability of people for whom English is not their first language using "female", and
- The acceptability of someone using "female" when they also use "male" just as liberally (this point implying that there's no implicit bias that their word choice is revealing)
My wife actually corrects me, in front of everybody (from across the room), if I refer to her as "my wife" in the company of people who know who she is. She'll say "I have a name!!"
I've definitely heard it used in a derogatory sense, by men and women. Obviously if the full context is "male/female" there's no issue, but it's weird hearing the mismatch.
I have verbatim called my Wife "Mrs. Stinkles" and addressed her directly as "The Wife" - as in "No, No, No the Wife, No!" to get a rise out of her, based on an old Harry Enfield character. I get what I deserve tbh.
I have verbatim called my Wife "Mrs. Stinkles" and addressed her directly as "The Wife" - as in "No, No, No the Wife, No!" to get a rise out of her, based on an old Harry Enfield character. I get what I deserve tbh.
I definitely do think that saying "that female did something" or "she is a female" (or just using female instead of woman) is derogatory. I'm more curious about female being used instead of woman (i.e. she is "female" or "there are 20 females in my astronomy class), and/or using female simultaneously while using male. This is something I have heard a lot of my friends, whose first language is not English, do, and while it's always struck me as odd, I've also ascribed it to linguistic unfamiliarity instead of sexism.
English is my first language, I'm American, and yes I know the difference between nouns and verbs but literally no point in my life was this ever an issue. Like why is it offensive to refer to someone as a Male musician or a female musician? I do it often, and I've never had anybody say that what I was saying was demonizing or anything.
It's confusing because I went my whole life calling people Male and female and nobody was ever offended.
I don't really disagree with the thread topic and think context can be important, but for an aggressive OP that demands people read the OP it's severely lacking. How about writing out why it's actually offensive? And alternatives for different situations (groups of mixed ages, other informal terms, etc).
It tells people to think why it's offensive and to stop doing it. But clearly there's a lot of people that don't understand why it's offensive. The adjective vs noun thing added to the OP really isn't enough as googling the word "female" shows it's also a noun.
The thread is lengthy enough I'm sure many people skip the OP now but that's just my thoughts.
It tells people to think why it's offensive and to stop doing it. But clearly there's a lot of people that don't understand why it's offensive. The adjective vs noun thing added to the OP really isn't enough as googling the word "female" shows it's also a noun.
The thread is lengthy enough I'm sure many people skip the OP now but that's just my thoughts.
The way I've generally heard it, the problem is referring to people as "a male" or "a female" as opposed to calling them "a male musician" or "a female musician".
Well, I think in your example, "male" and "female", while having the article "a" attached to them, are still adjectives, not nouns. So, for instance, they are modifiers to the subject, not the subject(s) themselves. Imagine, if instead of saying a female musician, you instead said "a talented female"; in this case, female is the noun (and the subject), with the modifier attached to it. Definitely a case you want to avoid, especially if you are pairing it with the usage of "man" for the masculine counterpart in the same sentence or instance.
Eehhh, I kinda see what you're saying, but that's still a bit picky picky. Saying "my mom/dad" are the go-to for that relationship anyway, because no one's going to refer to their own parents by name, so... You know. It's not uncommon to just use relationship status instead of names to refer to people close to you. And I still say "my brother" to people that know his name, because it's possible he wouldn't be the first person they think of since he's not around all that often.
For the record... if a woman calls me her man... I find that really hot. Lol just saying. Its a tad bit possessive but mostly hot for me.
But to other guys... they might hate it.
Yeah, "These are the women in my life" is fine. Alternatively, a good old "This is my family" is perfect for any situation.
But this idea that "My Wife" or "My Husband" is creepy is absolutely ridiculous and one of the more absurd things I've read in this thread. I get that it's just your personal taste, but that's one I absolutely can't get behind...
This is kinda overboard. "My" is being used to denote relationship between the speaker and subject, not possession.
I don't know, I've never heard it in the same context that bothers me.
Yeah, I refuse to believe an American with English in their first language doesn't get tvis
Not in the quoted post the statement was made in response to. The person you're quoting just made their point badly, but they do have a point.
What context? "My wife" is just.. A title.
My wife, my son, my mother, my home country, my language, my city. It doesn't signify ownership, but relation.
User Banned (Permanent): Endorsing trolling and use of offensive slurs.
I support this post. A bit hamfisted, but I've had a different version of this conversation IRL about whether it's okay to make offensive jokes good-naturedly. Is it okay to joke about racist stereotypes among friends who you know all agree that people who use them seriously are absurd? I'd say there's nothing wrong with that as long as everybody's on the same page.
I'm pretty sure that women understand English a lot better than dogs.
Your examples are not offensive because you're using male and female as adjectives instead of nouns. "Wow that female guitarist is really good" is fine, "wow that female is really talented" is weird and dehumanizing. It's like if you introduced someone as "your woman" that's cool, but you'd never introduce someone as "your female".
Apologies, I don't have the full context there. In general usage, however, I would say that "my wife", "my girlfriend", "my husband", and "my boyfriend" are not unacceptable or creepy in any way.
No it's not
No it's not okay because those people would end up interacting with other people and wonder why other people get offended by offensive jokes because they assume that's just how people normally talk to each other.
I used to think like you until I saw this happen before my eyes.
- Status