So I'll start it off with a background on myself, and how I got involved as a client. I'm in my late 20s, pretty confident, physically fit, post graduate (even did a bit of PhD), and very sociable. I've dated plenty of stunners throughout my time, both in serious terms and casual. Yet I chose to see sex workers last year. Now why is that? Well I was out of a bad relationship and I just wanted to have some sex without having to bother with the actual dating element of it considering all I wanted was casual sex. I just had no time or patience for that kind of effort. So I met my first sex worker last year in Feb, this Polish girl who was the same age as me. To date she remains one of the most amazing and intelligent woman I've ever met hands down. She had worked all kinds of job, but got involved in sex work around 3 years ago. And since then she has had a very business minded attitude towards it as she has a goal to hit after which she wants to stop. She has a kid in States who she supports with the money she makes in UK. I met my current GF last year in summer as a client, I met her a total of 4 times as a client before we decided to change the nature of our relationship and we became friends...things just sort of took off from there after that. My GF is inherently an artist who has been a part time sex worker for about 1.5 years now. Her goal is to have a financial cushion when she retires and looks for creative work. She actually thought of quitting last month but then realised an impromptu decision without planning wasn't going to work.
Anyways now on to describing sex work itself. There is a big big misunderstanding that sex trafficking is what makes up for majority of the sex industry. Atleast in UK, the absolute majority of sex workers are independent (fully legal) or semi independent, i.e. they work for an agency who advertises and handles the communications with the client (also fully legal). Working as a sex worker is a tough job, advertising yourself is a very very time consuming process as not only do you have to advertise and be on top of things, but also constantly communicate with potential clients, as well as current clients. Basically even when the girls aren't working...they are working. Competition especially in cities like London is...insane ! And the cost of booking hotels is even more insane, as a note I should add the cost of booking hotel falls on the sex worker herself. These girls are also likely to be cleaner and safer than any of your random sex encounter as they get tested as often as possible, and have a strict policy on condoms. While there are some women who would offer bareback (slang for no condoms), and some clients who want to push for that, they are in the minority. Majority of the clients won't see any girl who is known to be a barebacker, and majority of girls won't advertise bareback. I am in a relationship and I still use a condom because my GF is still working, and it's for the best for both of us to keep things safe while she is still in the industry.
Then there are brothels (illegal) but these aren't your typical sleeze fest that you see in films/TVs/documentaries. They are more like your typical agency, except with rooms available on site. I've personally never been to one, but they are well run. The rooms are like hotel rooms and the girls well taken care of, the girls also choose their own working days and working time. Some girls work as an independent, but on certain days will work at a brothel, some girls exclusively work independently and some exclusively at brothels...etc etc. The thing about brothels is that despite being illegal, the police usually don't really care about them and have an understanding with the owners. This is because these brothels are well run and the girls are kept safe. And the police would rather spend their resources on cracking down trafficking.
Now on to the clients, there is no particular "type" of client. You have men from all ranges, from all classes, from all background seeing sex workers. These are some of the types of clients you see:
1) Young men who just want a no frills date like situation with guaranteed sex. (Myself)
2) Men (any age) who just want to see as many women as possible.
3) Men (older) in a sexless marriage. I'm talking 5-10 years of no sex (yea seems unreal but it happens). Often these people have had an understanding with their wife to seek sexual gratification elsewhere.
4) Young guys who just want to be confident around a woman, especially in an intimate environment.
5) Couples who want to introduce a bit of spice in their sex life.
6) Men who want to experience things and fulfil their fantasy (threesome, anal, dom etc etc) because their ex partners/partners would not allow for it.
etc etc. The list is endless. You could have someone in your friend circle RIGHT NOW who sees sex workers and you'd be none the wiser !!
My GF told me that the majority of the clients she met were absolutely amazing. Some were so good that she got butterflies while interacting with them. Something that she didn't get even with me despite having a chemistry with me, and yet I'm the one she ended up with ultimately. Things just happen somehow hah. Anyhow majority of the clients are considerate and they WILL not see a sex worker if they predict foul play/trafficking. And it IS easy to tell whether a girl is independent, semi independent, or has a pimp. There is also a pattern, in that you have a higher chance of someone being pimped if they are from a certain nationality (particularly speaking Romanians, but that's not to say there aren't independent Romanian escorts).
Making sex work legal but buying sex illegal is a terrible idea. The reason for this being while it protects the women who are trafficked . It completely destroys the livelihood of legit sex workers who run a business. These women chose to do sex work out of their own free will, no they are not mentally unstable, no they do not have childhood trauma, no they do not have any deep underlying issues which is what's often protrayed. They just chose to do sex work...end of story. This is one of the BIGGEST things people refuse to understand because the media keeps portraying the girls as flawed, or damaged. A lot of my friends are aware of my history with sex workers, as well as my GF. Most have been accepting of it. Except one, who kept talking about how it's illegal and what not (she's a lawyer but didn't know the law regarding sex work). She was like a sister to me, and her family knows me and we go back years. I was asked by her to choose between her or my GF. I told her I'll pick the person who's not making me choose because who I date doesn't really affect you in any way. And the irony is that before she knew about my GF's line of work...she absolutely adored her and her personality. Eventually that friend cut me off and I was ok with it. Her choice.
These women approach it with the same amount of flair as any independent business while putting in blood and sweat into it. It's not really fair to them if their source of income i.e. their clients are criminalised. I know sex workers who have a normal full time job, but still open up for sex work for 3-4 hours/4-5 days a week. Yes some of them make bank, enough to start thinking about registering for VAT because they earn over the cap of £80K a year. But majority of the girls don't earn that much, they just live a decent/comfortable life. Sex work is still work that takes a lot of effort, but it does allow you with a lot more time for you to focus on your own well being and life. And that is one of the main attractions of sex work to girls who are full time sex workers and want to keep doing it for a while. And having regular good sex, while meeting interesting people is a side benefit of it.
I'll write more as I think of it. I'll take any questions if people have any regarding my own relationship or experiences.
