People who get bad road rage, how do you cope? (Had an incident today)

[HeartlessNobody2134]

Don't engage and move on. I'm black and live in Florida so it's not a good course of action.

 

[NeonCarbon]

Are you stressed or unhappy about other things? I think that can cause road rage, instead of just being chill about situations.

 

[leder]

No worries, I have a number of issues with this talk myself, and Wallace in general, I just haven't found a more cogent and easy to link form of some of these ideas.

Click to shrink...

Yeah for sure, not knocking you at all, people need to be exposed to more stuff like this. I just find the need for it kind of depressing

 

[Tbro777]

thank you both for the resources, i will check these out. I dont want to be that person, angry, unhinged. When confronted with these feelings on the road i let them over come me. I cant do that anymore

Click to shrink...

I'd say get something, a sticker or anything you can mount to your dashboard, so in the future when you get angry again, look at it to remind you of what happened before.

 

[Fiction]

You can see how even when playing it back out after the fact you are re-escalating it in your head? I won't attempt to psychoanalyze you from a forum post, but this comes across as some deep seeded insecurities where by not escalating the situation, by not pushing back, you are the punk fucking bitch here and this is the source of some deep discomfort when these situations occur. Based off this one exchange and I don't know you so all I can do is read into a tiny slice of your life you have shared.

My only advice here is when these situations come about you can choose to escalate or de-escalate the situation, and if you find you are incapable of doing the latter in tense and stressful situations such as this then actual professional help is the only next step. That or the hospital, or worse, because you've escalated against someone who is capable of pushing back much, much harder.

I know saying, "hey, watch this 22 minute video" can feel dismissive but it seriously touches on the idea of how much choice you have with how you interact with people even when they are at their ugliest so might help pull back when things feel they can only turn violent.

Click to shrink...

HIGHLY recommend this video

 

[Kitsunebaby]

Violent fantasies, mostly. I like to imagine I'm Magneto, and I can just pick the car blocking traffic up and fling it a few miles away.

Mostly I deal by taking roads where it's harder for one or two slow/timid drivers to create a backup. It sounds like you're irritation is people behind you wanting to go faster, but it should work the same. Choose roads where people can get around you, where going your own pace won't cause frustration.

If your only choice is a one lane road and you really don't feel safe traveling faster then just make peace with the fact there are people who are gonna be annoyed and don't let it get to you.

 

[Violence Jack]

I don't let them bother me anymore. I still have assholes trying to drive 65 in a 40 zone and zooming throughout residential areas. If their life sucks so much that me going slower bothers them, then I have to imagine they've got more problems than I do. They can explain it to the cops (who I frequently see pulling over said assholes enough to put a big smile on my face).

 

[Weltall Zero]

I don't drive, so I don't get road rage.

Just, like, regular rage and stuff. :D

 

[Bigwombat]

I had something very similar to what happened to you 10 years ago. Early morning, on the way to work after getting coffee, guy flies up on my and tailgates me on a rural road. I say screw it and slow down so he can pass.

Flips me off, I flip him off next to each other on the road. He cuts in front of me and slams on the brakes. Gets out of his truck and hits my window with his fist twice.

Middle of winter at 7:15 in the morning. I was in my mid 20s and I'm a guy who can look like you don't want to mess with me when I get mad.

I sat in the car and just watched him leave. It just isn't worth it. He looked like a townie who was still drunk from the night before. Looked like the kind of guy who would pull a knife on you.

Your life can change so quickly forever if you do something stupid like a road rage fight. I won't justify anyone who gets into a road rage incident but I totally understand how they happen.

 

[vitamind]

Whenever this happens to me I turn the rear view mirror and start driving 10 under the limit.

Click to shrink...

Why would you antagonize the driver let alone possibly cause more issues with traffic? You're only escalating the situation.

 

[Mariner]

Watch a few road rage videos on YouTube. It really put things in perspective for me. Especially seeing those that pull guns, knives etc. I understand being upset at someone acting like an ass, but it simply isn't healthy for you mentally and potentially physically.

 

[julia crawford]

Never happened to me tbh. I once flipped someone off because they were pushing up behind me but that was it. But i never get angry at other people.

 

[BasilZero]

I had someone flip me once because I was trying to get into the right lane of a two lane road, had my signal on and was waiting for someone to let me in for a few seconds - this dude on a bike who looked like he was high came a few seconds later, no honk or anything - as soon as I got into the right side of the lane, he flipped me.

lol


Had another situation some years later in the same road - this dude got so pissed at me and had his window down - but I put up my hands like the prayer emoji 🙏 and he was like "shrugged whatever" before saying anything and left lol.



Not my fault the road is so congested and its the only road I can use to get out of my workplace.....

 

[Necromanti]

Never experienced it myself, but certainly been a passenger next to someone with road rage. Strangely, I have gotten irrationally mad at that person in response since I find it unbearably obnoxious.

 

[whytemyke]

At least you understand this isn't healthy, OP.

Maybe seeing a therapist would help?

 

[Ethical Hedonism]

Next time blow him a kiss and keep driving. It's never worth pulling over and getting into a fight.

Click to shrink...

Thats my advice also, started doing that some years ago and it absolutely changed daily traffic for me because now I'm mostly laughing at other's road rage

It makes it fun instead of infuriating

 

[Deleted member 15227]

Mandatory level 5 self-driving cars cannot come soon enough.

 

[Tater]

Great responses in this thread, learning how to manage your anger is really important and will benefit you in other areas if you life as well. Anger is a tool, but only if used in the right way. Some things that help me:

One of my driving instructors hammered home that the best thing to do with people like that is to get out of their way. It's not satisfying in the moment, but it's the best course of action, for two reasons:

• First, if someone is driving unsafely, it's far better for them to be in front of you instead of behind you. There's nothing you can do if they do something dumb and hit you from behind, but letting them pass gives you the option of avoiding them, which leads to...
• The second point is that people driving like that have a much higher chance of accidents/injuries/tickets. You might not see it when it happens, but over time the odds will catch up with them. So when they go speeding past you, just picture yourself in 5 years with a clean record, while the other guy is walking with a limp from the multiple accidents he's been in, and has lost his license. Set your future self up for success.

And an anecdote from years ago - I worked in the suburbs of the Twin Cities, and found a side road to take home since the freeway (494) was a total shitshow at rush hour. My route was a two lane road mostly, but occasionally reduced to one lane for turns and the like. One day, some guy behind me was pissed off that I was going the limit in 30 mph residential area, and was tailgating me, honking, etc.

This goes on for a bit, and then then at a light it opened back up to two lanes briefly. He floors it, passes me via the left turn lane, and flies by me at 50... only to have a copy on foot pop out of the bushes in front us, and give him that "you're fucked" point as the cop gestured him towards a side road for a ticket. The cop had clearly seen that whole thing, that guy was not just going to get a simple speeding ticket. I was grinning ear to ear on the way home. It's the only time I've seen someone face consequences in the moment, but that behavior catches up to people eventually.

 

[ArachosiA]

I drive for a living, and if I were to react I could get fired, so I just have to grin and bear it when people flip me off and whatnot. Oh well, life goes on. I know those people are very unhappy with some aspect of their lives and are just taking it out on me because its an area where they have some degree of control.